BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???

Subject: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 06:47 PM

Seemes with all the rumors swirling of Chongo's demise I figured that something this important deserved its oen thread...

With that said I figurated I'd cover the bases now either way...

If he's dead then...

...sniff... I loved that chimp and am so disappointed that he ain't around to run with Sarah Palin in 2012 'cause he was one heck of a chimp... Sho nuff was... Sniff...

Now if the weisel ain't dead then...

...he oughtta be fir all the aggrivation that monkey 'caused me last year in my own campaign to be president and how his rude monkey manners 'cuased me and Skivz financial ruin and the presidency, too... So, Chongz, bite me...

There... That oughtta about cover it either way...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM

Bobert, unless you believe the garbage emanating from Deep Doo-Doo, alias Amos, alias Anos....you know perfectly well that Chongo is alive and well in Chicago.

He returns your felicitations and says he hopes a tree falls on you.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:31 PM

Ummmm, could you ask him which tree he has in mind... I mean, I got thousands of trees around here...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:34 PM

I'm not sure which tree he had in mind. I'll try and find out.

Meanwhile, here's a video of some chimps in Chicago who are celebrating the fact that Chongo is not dead.

Celebrating chimps who love Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:38 PM

Okay, apparently he meant this tree...

Bobert's tree?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:41 PM

That looks like an African tree to me. He may not be dead but to me Chongo looks seriously confused.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:43 PM

It's just his idea of humour, Ebbie. ;-)

Now take a look at the kind of great TV shows we are going to have after Chongo ascends to the Oval Office...

Primate TV!

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 07:56 PM

LEgal, journalistic and scientific experts have chimed in to cover and explain Chongo's unfortunate intersection with an IED a few miles outside of Kandahar, Afghanistan, while tracing a felon in to the Kandahar slums. I agree it is an awful story, but you have to learn to face reality!!!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:10 PM

Encounters with Inadequately Educated Dimwits can sometimes be hazardous, Amos, I'll grant that....but Chongo has had thousands of such encounters in the last few decades and he has survived all of them. He is as fit as a fiddle. There is no cause for concern...except for those intent on shutting chimps out of high level politics in Washington.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:12 PM

So he is dead??? Geeze, what a shame...

Sniff...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:33 PM

:) :) :)

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 08:34 PM

How about I just let you all suffer for awhile, thinking he's dead? Go ahead...weep, moan, carry on about how much you miss him now that he's gone, go crazy.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 09:22 PM

Oh, the guilt... Sniff... I went out lookin' fir a tree just like Chongo---before his untimely death, this is--- said was gonna falll on me but I couldn't find no trees like that so I went and got my chainsaw and tried to saw a tree down on myself cept...

...the sumabacih wenbt the wrong way and landed in the P-Vine prized azalea bed and then she come out to see what the commotion was and dragged my poor butt back in the house and put a whup on me and....

Sniff... is he really gone, LH??? Please say yer joking... Please...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 09:25 PM

How come all the chimps in that "Primate TV" video have the same teeth?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 10:27 PM

One cospiracy theory I have heard, is he was shot by a troll on a thashy pill.

Another has him sighted at a Burger King, eating a Big King burger, while watching a King Kong movie on a portable DVD player. I trust his supply of Attends will not run out.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 10:34 PM

If you watch really carefully, you will see Thashy give the secret finger salute, and you can see Chongo in the background as the camera scans the room.
http://www.youtube.com/user/Thashy


Let's face it....everyone onthe run needs a safe house....to store poppy seed. Who would have known that he spoke languages other than English?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 10 - 11:10 PM

Denial is the first stage in recovering from Great Losss...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 08:48 AM

So, ya'll...

Look at the mess ya'll has got the ol' hillbilly in now... I gotta a tree down in the P-Vine's prized azalea bed an' you know what that means, dontcha??? Yeah, I gotta do the DDD (Dance of the Dieing Duck) which all men know how to do which means a day in the friggin' mall, followin' here around while she says "How do you like this dress???" and I gotta say "It's loks great, Honey" a hundred different ways...

Plus, I'm still kinda in mournin' since LH has confirmed that poor ol' Chongz has gone to that big banana tree (speakin' of trees) in the sky...

Sniff of both counts...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:09 AM

I find that when a woman is trying on a dress or somesuch, and they ask me 'Does my bum/ass, look big in this?'
My whole life flashes in front of my eyes.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Darowyn
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:21 AM

I think I can say, without fear of contradiction, that the title of this thread is true.
Chongo is definitely dead or not dead. Logical, see?
Cheers
Dave

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: GUEST,number 6
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:26 AM

No Chongo's not dead .... he is suffering from extreme emotional numbness after seeing the movie Avatar .... that monkey will snap out of it shortly.

biLL

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:35 AM

"It like trying to milk a dead cow"
Woodie Guthrie

"which means that he was as charming as a dead mouse in a loaf of bread...."

Clive James

"is like a hornet; if you can't kill it dead the first time, better not"
Josh Billings

(How) "long has it been, two weeks? Yeah, he's dead...."
Stewie Griffin

""I just wanna say." Well, you're dead now, so shut up!..."
Monty Python

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 09:41 AM

Well, I reckon if Monty Python says that Chongz is dead then he's prolly dead..

Sniff...

Real sorry, LH... It must be tough on ya'... But life goes on... Keep yer chin up... I mean, he's in a better place now... Hey, he weren't a bad monkey... Jus' misunderstood...

Sniff...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 11:38 AM

Like I said...go nuts. Knock yourselves out.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:07 PM

Losing someone like that ain't easy, Hawk--we unnerstan' that. You'll pull through. Your friends are witchoo all da way. Hang tough, man. Dis too shall pass.

East Side Gorillas Benevolent Association

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:25 PM

Speaking of gorillas - in tha was a live Chongo; I was going to make the remark that I had no idea he was so big. But could that have been a gorilla?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:39 PM

Yes, I think it probably was. Chongo is a large chimp, but he's not as big as the average gorilla.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:44 PM

Talk amongst Chimp circles is LH is one of the few mentioned in his will, since he provided him early guidance towards his house and touilet manners. LG gets the keys to his safety deposit box....I suspect it's mostly coupons for attends and the three ply toilet paper he could never put the money up for.

Another rumered to be in on the will is Rapaire....who advised him to invest in secure stocks young so he could reap the benefits when older. Taking this good advice, he bought quite a few limited edition monkey Beanie babies. Unfortunately, he could never get advice right and bought them when the market for them fell. He thought it was best buy them when the market is high, sell when the market is low. (just like LH's toilet training he could never quite get right, prefering to wipe first, before he pooped).

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:50 PM

I haven't seen or heard of Chongo's will, but if he has one at all (which I sort of doubt), I think he's probably had it updated recently to leave everything to his friend, Renata Carson. Just an educated guess on my part. She's a lot younger than Chongo, so it would make sense from his point of view to do that.

Chongo usually thinks in terms of other people dying, not him, and that's why his guns are always kept loaded...safety on, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 12:56 PM

Ya know...I am thinkin' of startin' a thread of my own...

"Amos stupid? Or REALLY stupid?"

What an ass the man is. He makes the back end of a baboon look good in comparison.

Anyways, I would start such a thread, but the moderators would probably just shut it down, so never mind. I will just let Amos go on bein' the ass that he is and makin' up weird stuff up about me, because it amuses his twisted little mind to do so and if that's what he needs to give him a sense of meanin', well, no sweat. I can live with it. Besides, like I said before, it's good publicity for me and the APP.

- Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:04 PM

http://www.sciencedaily.com/images/2009/12/091228152350-large.jpg

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ebbie
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:11 PM

Litttle Hawk, I perceive that Chongo has had a personality adjustment. In this latest post he comes across as having had more education than just street smarts. Keerful.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 01:16 PM

Ah, yes! The proverbial enigma! The perennial question! The quandering quandary! "Chongo: Dead or Not Dead?"

Well, to say that there's no right way or wrong way to answer the question would be almost, but not quite exactly, the same as saying there's not a wrong way or right way to answer the question.

Furthermore, whereas the question "Chongo: Dead or Alive?" could possibly be answered "Yes, or maybe no," the question "Chongo: Dead or Not Dead?" can only be answered "No, or maybe yes," inasmuch as being dead and being not alive are not mutually exclusive propositions. It's like "heads or tails" versus "heads or not heads" versus "tails or heads" versus "tails or not tails". How ya gonna get that many of 'em into the ring at the same time and still have room for a referee? Or do you need a referee? Would an umpire or a line judge be okay?

And that's just the beginning! There are tons of other questions that must be addressed, such as:

Exactly how does a duck fit into the overall picture of things?
Is the overall picture a picture of overalls with a duck in it, or is the duck wearing the overalls?
If the duck is wearing the overalls, do they fit?
If they don't fit, could it be that the duck is wearing Chongo's overalls by mistake?
What's a suave, urbane chimp like Chongo doing wearing overalls?

When one considers all the above questions, one comes to the inexcapable conclusion that, since Chongo would not be caught dead wearing overalls, he must either be alive, not dead, or simply hasn't yet been caught being dead.

We hope this discourse has helped make things perfectly unclear.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: olddude
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:03 PM

Bob's done Kilt him with the bad Shine

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:20 PM

Erwin Schrödinger, where are you when we need you?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:51 PM

"It was previously a question of finding out whether or not life had to have a meaning to be lived. It now becomes clear, on the contrary, that it will be lived all the better if it has no meaning" Albert Camus

"Don't go where the path may lead instead go where there is no path and leave a shit trail" the late Chongo

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 02:54 PM

Ah, the protestations, the refusls to admit, the denials of sad truth, the desire to stop the very flow of time and make sad facts run backwards and be undone...believe me, I sympathize, I do.

All the counterfeit posts in the world won't bring Chongo back, Little Hawk, Rest easy and keep breathing...

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Bill D
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 03:37 PM

Is Chongo dead?

No

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:11 PM

LOL! A picture is worth 1,000 words, Bill. Or in the case of Amos, 100,000 words.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Amos
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:26 PM

Well, all that shows is that at some point in time (Bill does not specify) SOME chimp was alive (Bill does not say who).

Sigh. I really understand all this protestation and wishing it were not so. He was well-loved throughout our little world here.

But, as any veteran of Iraq or Afghanistan knows, when your number is up, it's up, and thee is no arguing with an IED.


A

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 05:41 PM

You are quite right. There IS no arguing with an Inadequately Educated Dimwit. That is why I seldom argue with Shane. I just let him think I agree with whatever he says, and he goes off happily and does something idiotic, and I am left in peace.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:05 PM

I understand Shane was injured by an IUD?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:06 PM

Could be. But I don't think that the very few misguided females who have "done it" with Shane ever use those things....

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:14 PM

I suspect they would be cautious....fearing spawning a mini Shane?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:17 PM

Any girl that gets involved with Shane is, by definition, totally lacking in caution of any kind.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:37 PM

Like the type seen omn "J-e-r-r-y", or "Maury" , or worse?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Rapparee
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:40 PM

Shame hasn't enough, well, length to be injured by anything other than his own zipper.

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Little Hawk
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:42 PM

How do you know?

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 06:56 PM

Just in case Sane needs this...when he gets (nude) into his ski-doo suit (never heard he was Jewish):

http://www.cirp.org/library/treatment/zipper/flowerdew/

Subject: RE: BS: Chongo Dead??? Or Not Dead???
From: Ed T
Date: 02 Jan 10 - 07:06 PM

Beware Shane, of IUD asociated injuries (graphic content follows) :


http://mymedjokes.blogspot.com/2009/09/penis-fracture-impossible.html