BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl

Subject: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:00 PM

My question is: which is the most morally reprehensible and downright untrustworthy Oz creature? The Kookaburra? The Wallaby? The Kangaroo? The Budgerigar? The Duck-billed Platypus? The Salt Water Crocodile? The Dingo? Which of them is most likely to sidle up whilst you are photographing Ayers Rock or some other stunning sight like that, say, "G'day, mate!", then give you a sharp bop on the head, pick your pocket, fillet your lungs, and steal your shoes and camera? Which one is most inclined to give you false directions when you're crossing the desert on your way to some godforsaken place like Coober Peadie or Yulara...just so you'll be found dead of thirst and mummified by the sand and sun a year or so later? Are koalas meaner than they look???

I want all this cleared up before I go to visit, you see.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Ebbie
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:18 PM

All I can say is that if a man sidles up to you and claims he is a duck-billed platypus, look for an escape route.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Janie
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:21 PM

Good one, Ebbie!

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:33 PM

LH, most of them will run away from you, quick as a flash; salties won't though, so take care to obey the signs.

Oh, and enjoy the trip. Will we see you at the National?

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:45 PM

My schedule is not yet finalized, Rowan. It is contingent on a couple of key matters which I cannot divulge at this time.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 09:48 PM

Brown snake. Death adder. Taipan. Roughscaled snake. Tiger snake.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 10:14 PM

Perenties can be fun, but the one to be wary of is the magpie during breeding season; males' testes take up 1/6 of their body weight and they delight in bombing cyclists and pedestrians.

Then again, waking up to their carolling is one of the delights of an Australian morning.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:04 PM

I have been dive bombed by maggies....it's an alarming experience. But as Rowan says, they sing beautifully!

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:10 PM

And of course we mustn't forget Drop Bears and Hoop Snakes.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:10 PM

For the uninitiated.
Magpie bombing is not like seagull bombing; the latter splatter you but magpies use the sharp ends of their beaks to leave a bit of a dent in the rear of your skull, with little warning.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: GUEST,Rolf Skippy
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:28 PM

great big huge bastard poisonous spiders hiding under the bog seat.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:40 PM

They clack their beaks as they dive....very spine-chilling sound.

And don't forget wombats.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:41 PM

Go on with you. Redbacks are only about 1cm across the abdomen. Unless you've not used the bog for a few decades and let the Sydney funnelwebs take up residence. Either way, banging the lid and seat down a couple of times make them run away too.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Janie
Date: 06 Feb 10 - 11:46 PM

You are doomed, LH. Doomed, I tell you!

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:06 AM

Drop Bears

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:34 AM

Terrifying!!~!

I know I'll be having nightmares about Drop Bears for weeks now. Do they ever penetrate as far as downtown Sydney?

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 11:04 AM

From what I hear, they congregate in certain parts of Sidney, especially downtown. Like pigeons in big cities (or rabbits in Oz), you can't seem to get rid of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Alice
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 12:07 PM

Don't forget the lizards.
VIDEO

From abc.net.au, science news:

"The researchers discovered that two common lizard lineages found in Australia, monitor lizards and iguania, have mouth glands that secrete venom toxins.

This was surprising as until now scientists had only found two lizard species around the world that produced venom, the gila monster and the Mexican beaded lizard."

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 03:03 PM

Those goanos (is that the right spelling?) are marvelous lizards. Furthermore, lizards are among my favorite animals. I am beginning to look more favorably on the notion of getting "up close and personal" with Australian wildlife.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 03:15 PM

Until you hear your bones snapping in the croc's mouth. Remember, crocs are just big lizards.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 03:45 PM

Well, even such a noble and elegant concept as the lizard can be taken a bit too far....

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: gnu
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 04:16 PM

LH... don't listen to that crapbout crocs... they are just misunderstood. All they need is a gentle hand, which you seem to have along with your gentle soul.

You should get right to it when you get to Oz... find a really big one and make friends... sing to it and pet it lovingly.

Don't forget to take a camera. A visual record is invaluable.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 04:33 PM

And they LOVE to be stroked under the chin and play kissy-face.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Tangledwood
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:01 PM

LH, most of them will run away from you, quick as a flash; salties won't though, so take care to obey the signs.

And if one of those has made it as far as Ayers Rock it's tougher than most!

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:07 PM

Youse are misleading Little Hawk when you say crocs are just lizards; they're not. Salties are definitely ones to steer clear of and there are signs all over the Top End warning against swimming in their territory. [The signs are so attractive to tourists that they are regularly stolen, which caused the tourist trade to get into making plastic replicas, including stickers that go under the lid of you dunny seat.] Freshies are safer to swim with if you're not small in stature, but it's difficult to be sure there are no salties in the same waterhole.

Monitors (perenties, goannas etc) will always try and run away and climb the nearest tall object. If they're running from something else and you happen to be the nearest tall object you can expect to have a mascot (with claws) looking over your head from on your shoulders.

And if you ever pick up or take hold of an animal, make sure you hold it so that its instinctive release of urine is sprayed away from you.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:09 PM

Those signs on the riverbank saying not to swim with the crocs......ignore them. That's just to keep the locals away, so tourists can have the experience themselves without having to share it with anyone. We like to send our tourists home happy.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:11 PM

Fitness for purpose depends largely on how many gum leaves koalas have consumed..?!
And I agree on lizards, L.H. - of all the interesting wildlife in Australia, they fascinate me the most.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:13 PM

And if one of those has made it as far as Ayers Rock it's tougher than most!

I seem to recall that a saltie made its way to Dunmarra Roadhouse once and decimated the owner's chooks. Dunmarra is on the Stuart Highway and about 600 miles from the nearest (previously) known location for salties. But that was quite a while ago.

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:21 PM

He was probably a poor map-reader. Perhaps he was holding it wrong way around (the map).

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 05:41 PM

Yep.....that's another thing we do.....we print our maps upside down. That's so Oz is at the top in the centre of the whole world, which is - of course - as it should be.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 06:14 PM

We've all forgotten the sneakiest nasties of the lot; stingers!

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Bill D
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 06:21 PM

If I read correctly, you should trust NOTHING on the continent that moves. (well, maybe a few two-legged sorts...)

(now, the wood is a different story... almost all of that is great!)

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 06:25 PM

Those signs on the riverbank saying not to swim with the crocs......ignore them.

There are lots of places that are 'out of the way' and don't have such signs; I recall a young tourist (a woman from the US) having a swim in the top end of WA and being taken by a saltie. A colleague (Su Solomon) was, at that time, researching taphonomy and specialising on identifying predators by identifying and classifying tooth marks on bones; she was the one who identified the East Kenyan "first family" hominins as a collection of crocodile victims, by comparing them with recovered victims (in the morgue) from our Top End. Su had a cartoon on her door, depicting a pair of crocs post-prandially sunning themselves on a river bank and saying "That was lovely. All soft and pink, with no claws or horns."

Cheers, Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rowan
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 06:32 PM

Bill, that's defeatistim. But you're right about the timbers. Somewhere in my collection of "stuff" I have flitches of named timbers from several of the state Forest Commissions; beautiful stuff.

Cheers Rowan

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 08:03 PM

Was it Bill Bryson who said that Australia has more things that will kill you than any other country in the world? If you can get hold of his book on Oz - "Bill Bryson Down Under" - it's a hoot.

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 08:47 PM

Well, there's always the Thylacoleo (aka Marsupial Lion or Pouch Lion). It's supposed to have been extinct for thousands of years, but numerous people have reported sighting creatures that match its description. It had (has?) the strongest jaws of any mammal that has ever lived.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:08 PM

when are you planning on visiting, Little Hawk?

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:33 PM

Be careful when you go, LH. You have to walk on your hands or you'll fall off the Earth. And the flush goes the wrong way round -- up, not down.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JennieG
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 10:34 PM

And we drive on the 'other' side of the road.....not the wrong side, the 'other' side......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 11:08 PM

Right. The bottom side.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Joybell
Date: 07 Feb 10 - 11:12 PM

Little Hawk -- come and visit us. We'd love that. We can take you to see a GIANT Koala. Fearsome sight. You can walk around in it.
We have a stunning coastline, mountains, sleeping volcanoes, lava caves -- AND I'm a William Shatner fan from way back.
Say the word and we'll put the kettle on and turn back the covers on the guest bed.
Cheers, Joy

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 08:38 AM

You know why LH is curious, right? He's on trial for stalking William Shatner. He wants to find more out about Oz in case he gets convicted.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 11:05 AM

A galah.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 11:54 AM

CANADA still sends folks to Botany Bay?

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Amergin
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 12:43 PM

They do in his case...because no one else will take him.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Rapparee
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 01:20 PM

Farewell to your Shame and Penny
Farewell to Corridus' slime
Farewell to the Winona and Hillary bases
And farewell to your Shatner time
For the good ship "Ragamuffin"
Is lying at the quay
To take Hawk back
His computer on his back
To the shores of Botany Bay.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 09:56 PM

That's great, Rapaire, except for one thing. "Quay" is pronounced like the word "key". It doesn't rhyme with "bay".

Amergin, if I was on trial for stalking anyone it would most definitely not be William Shatner. It would be Winona Ryder. ;-D Or Susanna Hoffs.

I have no definite plans to visit Australia...yet...however, the idea is looking more and more attractive, I must admit. I HAVE to see those lizards!

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Desert Dancer
Date: 08 Feb 10 - 10:58 PM

quay as "kway" is an accepted pronunciation, esp. in the U.S., "kee" and "kay" being other options.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: Gurney
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 01:35 AM

Never mind the crocs, just watch out for the Holdens!

People from your side of the pond look the wrong way first. LOOK RIGHT, FIRST.

Subject: RE: BS: Which is worse? Kookabura? Wallaby? Pl
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 09 Feb 10 - 12:09 PM

I would have thought, from recent news from down under, that the cane toad would be among the least-loved critters in Australia.

A foreign species imported to control beetles in the cane fields, it was a total failure at its intended task, but being toxic (venomous) to most other wildlife it has decimated many native species, while proliferating uncontrollably.

Eradication efforts appear to be stalled while debate rages over what "humane methods" are permissible for killing them.

One of the toxins produced by this toad reportedly can produce a mild but brief "high" but multiple other toxins that it produces are likely to be fatal, so "toad licking" is extremely dangerous.

John