MoreGoodMojoPleaseJanie'sDad(Passed31Mar)(Mom)

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 06:53 PM

Best wishes to all of you as you navigate this stage.

How about lighting a match in the toe of the shoe of whoever said it might take a while to get that appointment? (I can't find a cartoon image of that-- but think a Bugs Bunny stunt.) Whether for treatment or palliative care, there's no good excuse for a long wait to be seen.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: ranger1
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 06:33 PM

(((((Janie and family)))))

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: ClaireBear
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 11:45 AM

I wish I had some new and profound thing to add, but instead I send my own virtual {{{hugs}}} and the promise of prayers -- for strength, for courage, for healing, for peace, for all of you.

Love
Claire

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Bobert
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 08:45 AM

Danged, Janie...

Tell dad again that thias ol' fellow hillbilly has him in his thoughts and prayers... Tell mom, too...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: SINSULL
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 08:10 AM

Janie,
I keep you and your family in my prayers. One day at a time, girl.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Bill D
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 08:05 AM

More of ALL the good wishes expressed above...better than I can invent any.

Since I don't know your Mom & Dad, I'll just imagine what good folks they are from meeting their pretty great daughter... *smile*

Take care of yourself as you take care of them.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 08:04 AM

I often think that I should be giving more back. Thank you Janie, for those words.

I'm keeping you all in my thoughts.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: katlaughing
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 03:11 AM

Janie, you are so full of wisdom and grace. All my love, light, and hugs to you and your family. Thank you for being here.

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 02:21 AM

hugs & best wishes from me, too

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: catspaw49
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 01:24 AM

How about a Spaw hug? We love you Janie..........and we'll be here.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Ebbie
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 01:04 AM

Janie, I am so glad, so honored to know you and Annie both.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Eiseley
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 12:45 AM

Dear, dear Janie,
I wish peace and sweet comfort for your parents---and for you.

Eiseley

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 04 Jun 10 - 12:30 AM

I again won't go into all the gory details but the good doctors (and they have all been very caring and concerned) have not been able to get a conclusive biopsy through relatively non-invasive procedures. However, the two pulmunologists agree that the scans are strongly suggestive of melanoma that has spread. Because of Dad's age, other health concerns, the risks involved, and quality of life issues, they are recommending against a surgical lung biopsy. Finally, he is being referred to an oncologist. We have been told it may take a while to get him an appointment. We take all of this as an indirect way of saying that any treatment should be palliative.

None of us are surprised, but we are now awash in sadness we had been holding at bay. Sadness is part of the parcel of life. There is comfort in accepting that, even though it doesn't make it any less sad.

I don't know if I have already said that Jacqui sent a shawl to Mom, with a note to the effect that it was full of Mudcat kindness. Dad pulls it over his torso anytime he lays back in his recliner for a nap or to try to breathe away pain (not related to the cancer, which, so far, is only causing weight loss and fatique.) What it symbolizes is a bonafide comfort to both him and Mom.

Annie and I tiptoed away Sunday afternoon, while he was sleeping there in his recliner, the shawl wrapped around him like the Mudcat hug it is.   Meaningful solace to an old man and woman, and those of us who love them.

Thank you. We are grateful.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: SINSULL
Date: 03 May 10 - 07:42 PM

Still here and thinking of you, Annie and all your family.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: catspaw49
Date: 27 Apr 10 - 07:57 AM

Ya' know.......Allan just put together one of the best posts I can recall at the 'Cat. Sums it up perfectly and I will ride his coattails and echo the same. We're all still here and you have our very best.......

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Allan C.
Date: 27 Apr 10 - 06:07 AM

Yes, I suppose there is some good to recognizing that there are (and always will be) others who have what seem to be greater troubles in their lives. But when you come down to it, your troubles are your own. It has often been said that the true measure of character is in how one deals with the problems of life. If that is so, then, (in my opinion,) it likely appears obvious to all of Mudcatdom that you and Annie are people of great character. Blessings to the both of you and powerful good wishes to your folks.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 27 Apr 10 - 12:50 AM

Thank you, friends.   

Others here, much younger, are dealing with shocking losses and/or health threats to themselves or family members that are extra-ordinary in their unexpectedness or severity.      I understand that is not the case for my family or parents, at their ages, and so do they.

And of course, throughout the world, there are many, many people who have lived their entire lives, however long or short those lives are or have been, in very precarious and threatening circumstances so severe as to be well beyond what I can even imagine.

Folks all.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: maeve
Date: 26 Apr 10 - 08:55 PM

Still here, Janie. Know that whether I can post or not, you and your dear family are in my thoughts and prayers.

maeve

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: KT
Date: 26 Apr 10 - 06:55 PM

Janie, I've just now seen this thread. Know that another from afar is holding all of you in heart and mind. Though I've never met your folks, I can't help but think how much better a place this world is for their (and you & Annie) being in it.

Heartfelt prayers for you all-
KT

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: katlaughing
Date: 26 Apr 10 - 06:34 PM

Janie, girl, just want you to know I am thinking of you and your family. Lots of {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Tinker
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 12:23 PM

Send Annie the most amazing hugs she can imagine. You are all in my thoughts and prayers.....

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: SINSULL
Date: 22 Apr 10 - 11:43 AM

Still thinking of you, Annie and your family.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: katlaughing
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 11:55 AM

We all need an ombudswo/man like that. What a blessing and your own self, too, Janie. Never doubt the impact and blessings you share so willingly esp. for your own dear parents. They sound like such good people. My good thoughts, surroundings of Light and thanks-givings continue for you all.

Much love,

kat

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 21 Apr 10 - 01:33 AM

Annie, whom many of you know from the Getaways, retired just a couple of months ago, and she is providing much more instrumental assistance to Mom and Dad than I am able to do, going to WV to sit in on the procedures and MD appointments, setting up a system of files for all medical records and procedures, educating herself and Mom on what they need to do to overcome systemic obstacles, and to insure as much as possible that medical errors do not occur and that medical providers are fully informed before they make recommendations, etc.

Retired or not, it is quite strenuous to be making so many trips to WV to be there for appointments and provide so much help and guidance. You would never know that to talk to her. She is simply seeing what needs done, recognizing she is in the best position to do it thoroughly, and showing up for work, because it would never occur to her to do otherwise - love in action.

She has a gift, and she is a gift within our family.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: GUEST,hg
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:20 PM

Janie, I just saw this. I know only too well what it is to have two aging parents. I hope your dad can stay optimistic and that your mother looks to you for emotional support so she can help your dad.

I am in my third year of having my parents close by so I can help them. I am there every day to cook, make the bed and care for my mother while my dad gets respite. He is wearing out and fell again yesterday but he seems to be alright. Mom fell getting out of bed this morning.

I know your folks aren't too close by so it must be worrisome to be unable to zip over there to help out. I don't know what else you have gone through lately but I wish you well. Abby

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:01 PM

Jacqui's had the experience as much as I and I'm sure she'll join me in giving you advice by PM.

Your father has a GREAT attitude, and that helps a lot.

White healing light, prayers, good thoughts and everything coming at you from this neck of the woods.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: maeve
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 07:32 PM

What Genie said, Janie. Holding you and your family in light.

m

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Genie
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 07:25 PM

Janie, you are so right that "Patients and their families need to fully understand the reality that they are themselves in the best position to function as clinical care case managers."   That, plus a lot of prayers and visualizations by friends and family, let my sister outlive her own cancer death sentence by more than 7 years. True, she & some other family members were medical practitioners too, but she sort of had to become an expert on her particular type of cancer and on possible treatments. It is so easy to fall through the cracks of the medical bureaucracy, and I am so glad your parents have you to help them with this monumental task.   I hope that the prayers, positive visualizations and energies from us here at Mudcat and from other friends I know you must have will strengthen and help heal your dad and keep your mom and you well too.   Whatever course your dad's journey takes, please know that you and your family are loved. Your parents must have done something right to have such a sweet, caring, and capable daughter.

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: jacqui.c
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:20 AM

Good thoughts still coming to you all Janie. What wonderful parents you have.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: SINSULL
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:18 AM

Janie,
Hospitals are handling huge amounts of information and they do get confused. Jacqui is an expert at coordinating and monitoring hospital staff while keeping them friendly and cooperative. PM her for advice if you need it.
Meantime, hang in there. You have had more than your share of grief lately. I am sorry.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 08:15 AM

Gotta' love your folks Janie.......I think your Dad would have gotten on well with my Mom.   She died at 43 when I was 18. She'd had cancer for three years and fought it hard although it was terminal from the gitgo. Friends came by a lot and the most common comment I got from them ran along the lines of, "I came by to cheer her up and I was the one who felt better afterwards."

LOL......Margie was like that.....I'd think your Dad is too. Anyway, this neighboring Buckeye is rootin' for him....and your Mom......and you too.


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Apr 10 - 05:11 AM

what a family!

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 11:12 PM

And thanks the rest of ye motley crew who was a postin' while I was a composin'!

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 11:09 PM

Thanks, Ebbie.

Mom is pretty awesome too, but in a different way. She is a "the" conduit through which all passes. She is Dad's rock. As in so many families, at least of a different age and time, she is the carrier of the emotions, and the interpreter of emotions for her mate. She simultaneously follows his lead, and takes the lead, if you know what I mean.

Almost 20 years ago, my older sister died from breast cancer after a 5 year battle. My parents were with her, her husband and children through every step of the way, and largely raised my nephews during her illness and after her death. My oldest nephew, who has mental health problems, still lives with them.   

Both of my parents characterize their lives as good. They realistically do not regard life as easy. Mom is more inclined to express her pain, fear, and anger, but is also essentially an optimistic realist. Quote from her this weekend, "Well, we have done this before, and I guess we can do it again.. Your Dad is such a good man. He doesn't deserve this on top of all the pain he is already in. But we'll manage whatever comes. I'm so grateful for all the blessings we have always had. So much love...."

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Bill D
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 10:51 PM

Wise words from your Dad, Janie. He thinks about how things are.
Take care, and keep on keeping on.... ♥♥♥♥∞

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 10:41 PM

(((Janie)))

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Bobert
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 10:38 PM

Well, Janie... You tell Dad that he is okay in my book... You tell him that I lived 20 years in Wes Ginny, too... I don't wnat him thinkin' that a bunch of folks from far away are concerned about him... Tell him that I heard that 85 is the new 30... Okay, he might think that is silly but I reckon he'll ata least get a good laugh from it...

But seriously, I really hope and pray that he get's thru this so in a year he and I can go mushroom huntin' in his parts of Wes Ginny... You tell him that... Tell him to put me down on the calendar for next spring...

Mean while, stay strong...

My deepest heartfelt prayers and warm thoughts...

b~

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 09:53 PM

Well, bless his heart. Sounds like his acorn didn't fall too far from his tree. You are a lot like him. :)

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 18 Apr 10 - 09:45 PM

Without going into mind-numbing detail, let me just say how difficult it is to make sure information and care is coordinated across the health care system when one has multiple medical providers - and that no matter how much confidence one has in one or more of one's physicians, the physicians can not be relied upon to remember significant information they learned several months ago for which they were not the treating providers.

While we humans acquire more knowledge about the body and disease processes such that specialists are more and more required who are more fully informed about particular parts and body systems, no one doctor or physician's practice is involved (or can be involved) in all aspects of care. Not only is something lost, there is danger to the individual patient. Patients and their families need to fully understand the reality that they are themselves in the best position to function as clinical care case managers.




Dad is awesome. Overheard when he was talking to Mom Saturday morning, "No sense in feeling troubled over the weekend, since we can't talk to anybody until Monday morning." To me, Saturday afternoon, "These doctors make a thousand good decisions that benefit people, and they are only human. They're bound to make a mistake now and then. I'm not upset. I'm grateful, and I know they are doing the best they can by me."   To Sis and me Saturday night, "I don't want you to get too torn up about this. A fella that is 85 years old that has had a good life and and a good family that loves him has got no cause to complain."

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: fat B****rd
Date: 13 Apr 10 - 03:35 PM

Best wishes from Charlie, Janie.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: SINSULL
Date: 13 Apr 10 - 11:17 AM

Take care of you and yours, Janie. We'll be here.
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 13 Apr 10 - 09:45 AM

What a lovely accolade to your parents. I am wishing healing thoughts to your folks, Janie. And an extra helping of strength for you.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: ranger1
Date: 13 Apr 10 - 09:09 AM

Janie, right now we don't expect you to do anything other than take care of your family and yourself. We're here for you, not the other way around. Promise us no guilt for not replying to each and every one of us and promise to take care of yourself. That's all we want.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Janie
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 08:49 PM

Much gratitude to all.    I may not be posting often here because I don't have much time to write the thoughtful responses you are due for your kindness. Even if I don't post more than daily, if that often, know that I am reading and that the knowledge that there are people from many different places offering care and concern will mean much to all of us.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Allan C.
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 07:58 PM

Here's the song as done by the McGuire Sisters.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: ranger1
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 06:53 PM

Janie, you and your parents have my thoughts and warm fuzzies. Knowing you, I know they must be wicked awesome (a Maine-ism) folks.

Tami

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 06:01 PM

Allan, that is beautiful. Thanks for sharing.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Allan C.
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 04:44 PM

For some reason the lyrics, (or at least some of them,) to the old McGuire Sisters song, "May You Always" entered my mind as I read your post. I was especially touched by, as Kat pointed out, your loving description of your folks. What parent would not give everything they own to hear their child speak of them in such dear tones!

MAY YOU ALWAYS
(Larry Markes / Dick Charles)noting that this is a somewhat abbreviated and altered version of their original lyrics

May you always walk in sunshine slumber warm when night winds blow
May you always live with laughter for a smile becomes you so
May good fortune find your doorway may the bluebirds sing your song
May no trouble travel your way may no worry stay too long

May your heartaches be forgotten may all tears be spilled
May old acquaintance be remembered when your cup of time is filled
And may you always be a dreamer may your wildest dream come true
May you find someone to love as much as I love you


My sincere best wishes to you and your parents.

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: Tinker
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 01:47 PM

Janie, blessings and light wrapped in the best of hugs and song and prayer. As I clean and prepare my garden and rejoice in the gifts of the earth, I will keep you and yours in my prayers.

tinker

Subject: RE: BS: More Good Mojo Please Janie's Dad (Mom)
From: ClaireBear
Date: 12 Apr 10 - 01:20 PM

Janie, I'm sorry, and I stand with all my brothers and sisters here in sending you and your parents strength and love in the hard times.

If Kat and Micca (in particular, but among many others) hadn't already posted exactly what I was thinking way up yonder, this post would have to be much longer.

Prayers and a whole lot of good thoughts --
Claire