BS: Vuvuzelas

Subject: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Stu
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:14 AM

Should the sound of a million angry bees be banned so we can finally hear the songs and chants of fans?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:25 AM

Should have BEEN banned... long ago. ALL noise makers.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Geoff the Duck
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:28 AM

I've heard chants from football fans. Perhaps we should buy the South Africans bagpipes...
Quack!
GtD.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Lox
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:40 AM

This is an African World Cup and its character should reflect African culture.

Why should we impose our idea of what is or isn't enjoyable on it.

If you were there you'd be loving it.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:42 AM

I'm not much of a football fan, but tried to watch a bit of the Germany/Australia game and had to give up as the constant drone (in B flat below middle C, I believe) brought on a huge headache. As soon as I left the room it went away. Strange! Is this a traditional instrument, maybe used by the Zulus to intimidate their enmies in battle (like the bagpipes)? I lived in South Africa for 2 years and never came across it before.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:45 AM

Is that what Tinnitus is like?
If so, I can understand how people go bonkers with it.

Ban the buggers. It wouldn't be so bad if they could play tunes with them.
How do they get the huff and puff to keep that up for 90 minutes.

Do you think it could catch on in Uk sessions?

Just think how great that would be. Come and join the Vuvuzelas Session for a wonderful night of sound. No other instruments allowed, except for banjo players, who have the permission of the MC to go around the group trying to see how many vuvuzelas thay can knock down the player's throat's.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:53 AM

Good god! A valuable use for banjos!

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: bobad
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:54 AM

For those in the stands, the horns can actually be dangerous. Blaring at 127 decibels, they can cause hearing damage in less than 15 minutes, a Swiss firm announced.

For comparison, a pneumatic drill is 125 decibels, the same level where loudness charts say "pain begins."

Fans go to games equipped with earplugs marketed as "Vuvu-Stop."

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Stu
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:09 AM

"Is that what Tinnitus is like?"

Actually, not far from the truth. Mine is a bit like that but much higher in pitch. As for loving it if I was there, not at 127 ear-bleedinbg decibels I wouldn't; the last thing I need is worse tinnitus.

"Why should we impose our idea of what is or isn't enjoyable on it."

Totally agree, but the organising CEO believes singing and dancing would be better and the instruments are made in China anyway, so it's not keeping the locals in underpants. Let's face it, we can't hear the band playing The Great Escape over the din either?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Leadfingers
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:23 AM

What about a vuvuzela Didgeridoo duet >??

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: theleveller
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:23 AM

"Is that what Tinnitus is like?"

My tinnitus came as a welcome relief after the din of these instruments.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 07:39 AM

Loud and raucous they may be, but the unconditional joy of the African supporters in the Ghana v. Serbia match was truly heartwarming, and a wonderful change from the aggressive posturing and obscene chanting of a large percentage of fans at any British match.

I'd rather listen to a million Vuvuzelas at full blast than one chant of 'You're gonna get your fuckin' head kicked in'.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 07:43 AM

And don't your tellies have a volume control? Turn it down - then as a bonus, you don't have to listen to commentators, who love the sound of their own voices, talking drivel about the game and pouring out totally meaningless statistics of the level of "England only managed a draw in the first game in 1966, and went on to win the Cup". What's that all about - it was 44 years ago - none of our current squad was even born then?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Stu
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 08:57 AM

Do 5 Live do a commentary?

I always switch the F1 from the monotonous monotone ramblings of messrs. Brundle and Legard to the far more entertaining and informative radio commentary via the red button. If the same happens in the footy it's worth a try.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 09:10 AM

After seeing this Mark Knight cartoon - 14/06/10 I had to come back to Mudcat to see what 'cats were writing on this thread.

I'm not interested in football or any sport & had never heard of vuvuzelas so checked the sport page of my news site & only found 11 references, like this one -

Everywhere I travel in the country my ears ring with the sound of the vuvuzela. The plastic trumpet was once heard only at football matches. Today men, women and children blow the vuvuzela anywhere and anytime. It's as if they're heralding a coming of age. Last night I got little sleep, vuvuzelas were blasting outside my window. South Africans want the world to know; their time has arrived.

eek, I've been reading the SPORTS page, gotta get back to the real world of folk music.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Lox
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 09:10 AM

Yes - Radio commentary is always a million time better and 5 live is the best of all!

I was going to make a comparison with formula 1 racing.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 09:30 AM

I just try to ignore the noise. And any obvious anagrams...

:D (eG)

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Bainbo
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 01:11 PM

Trouble is, you can hear the vuvuzelas just as clearly on the radio. In fact, it's worse, because you don't have the pictures to distract you.

Funny you should mention F1. I turned on my car radio to hear the South Korea-Greece game, and my first thought was: "Oh no! Why are thy carrying bloody motor racing now?" before I realised it was the vuvuzelas.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Mrrzy
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 02:19 PM

Which sounds like a pussy-fart, I'm sorry, but it does. Couldn't they call them something else?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Amos
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 03:12 PM

Vuvuzelas? I'm sorry, I thought these were Argentinan sexual organs, only occasionally known to produce music...

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: PoppaGator
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:26 PM

On US TV, (ABC/ESPN), the stupid horns are audible, of course, but much less so (to my ears) than during last year's broadcasts of the "practice" (or "shakedown") tournament held in South Africa.

Seems to me that the audio technicians found some kind of way to de-emphasize the background noise in relation to the main soundtrack (the commentators).

If I knew the sport really well (i.e., if I had grown up with it, like boys around the world outside the US), I'd probably turn the sound down/off. But as a casual and uninformed fan, I need all the information I can get. The current World Cup is providing an unprecedented amount of coverage, and I expect to learn a great deal about the sport by the time the Cup has been won.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:32 PM

AHA! A health concern. A way to end this crap. Let's hope FIFA is concerned about the health of fans.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Q (Frank Staplin)
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 05:55 PM

Just the thing to drive away the neighbor's cat.
A pack of 12 going on Ebay at $75;, one with coca-cola adv., asking $25

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Les from Hull
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:35 PM

Sure the noise is annoying but it's very much a part of South African football. I think it's great to see the fans having a good time. Although I do miss the various chants and songs.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: catspaw49
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 06:55 PM

I think that everyone who has one stuck in his mouth needs another crammed up his ass.........Just my opinion of course and yours may vary but if it does you too need one crammed up your ass!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Lonesome EJ
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 07:53 PM

Then you'd need vuvuzelectomy, right?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Clontarf83
Date: 14 Jun 10 - 08:57 PM

Hate them. South africans are making a big mistake by pissing everyone off, and FIFA are lunatics not to ban them outright at games. I'm not going to watch any more games---get a headache each time.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 03:55 AM

The beeb are considering having a 'red button' function to mute them on the TV - Sounds a good option to me but I will probably leave them blaring.

DeG

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Don(Wyziwyg)T
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 04:04 AM

It's a carefully orchestrated distraction technique, designed to put off those who aren't used to it.

It's obvious!

Vuvuzelas = Zulu Savve.

Smart huh?

Don

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: bobad
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 06:16 AM

Vuvuzela filters

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: bubblyrat
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 06:43 PM

I thought that they originated in an Egyptian brothel ??

Vuvuzelas = Suez Vulva

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: catspaw49
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 07:57 PM

IDEAL VUVUZELA TECHNIQUE

Perfect......Absolutely perfect............


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:15 PM

So the vulvuzela-haters what to ban them. Ho hum. Nothing surprising then about out national instinct to dictate to the people of Africa how to behave...

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:18 PM

"Vuvuzelas? I'm sorry, I thought these were Argentinan sexual organs, only occasionally known to produce music..."

An Argentine lady called Dinah
Had a music box in her vagina
The boys they had larks
To the sweet sound of Bach's
Toccata and fugue in D minor

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:19 PM

I meant "want to ban them."

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:30 PM

Steve.... BULLSHIT. Nobody it shitting on the people of Africa. Just shitting on the rude and arrogant manners of EVERYONE who uses noise makers at sporting events... horns, drums, whatever. Your comment is equally rude and arrogant.

Good manners are good manners. Noise makers are used by, ah, er, "others".

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:37 PM

Easy, tiger. Vuvuzelas were not invented for the World Cup. As for your assertion that this is general attack on noise-makers at matches, well I haven't heard much of anything bar contumely directed specifically at vuvuzelas. Making noises with mechanical gizmos at matches is time-honoured. When I was a little lad 50 years ago watching Bury FC from the terraces there a bloke banging a bass drum all through the match behind me and a bunch of blokes with wooden football rattles a foot long in front. Beware the stench of imperialism!

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Jun 10 - 08:40 PM

By the way, I hate the bloody things to pieces.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Howard Jones
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 09:27 AM

I'm not interested in football but a World Cup is so hard to avoid that I usually get drawn into watching a few matches. Not this time, not with that racket going on. I'm sure a lot of other casual viewers (who I would guess normally make up a significant proportion of the total) feel the same. It is sure to have an effect on viewing figures.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Tootler
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 08:00 PM

Stop wingeing about them. If you don't like them, turn the sound off. Simples! As a bonus, you also turn of the mindless drivel of the commentators.

I very rarely watch football, but when I do it is usually with the sound turned off. Not so much to mute the noise of the crowd as to turn off the commentators. Without exception they all suffer from verbal diarrhoea and feel they must fill every second of the game with inane remarks. They are incapable of leaving a silent moment.

Turn the sound off and you find that the game is much easier to follow and more enjoyable.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Amos
Date: 16 Jun 10 - 08:07 PM

I don't see why Portuguese reproductive organs are so darned special they warrant a whole thread...

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Bainbo
Date: 17 Jun 10 - 04:47 PM

Just finished watching the France - Mexico game, and it was when it was over that I realised I hadn't noticed the vuvuzelas so much. I haven't worked out yet whether that was because there weren't so many there, or because I was enjoying the game so much, or because the broadcasters have found a way of muting them.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Paco O'Barmy
Date: 17 Jun 10 - 04:58 PM

Why not just ban FOOTBALL??? We played rugby at my school, Soccer was seen as some sort of effete nancy-boy game played by lady-boys.
                   Perms, the true path!

Subject: Help please
From: ced2
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 06:21 AM

Where, in the North of England (UK) may one purchase a genuine Vuvuzella?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 01:22 PM

They were selling them at Sheffield Wednesday's ground at Hillsborough today. One of the pupils at school bought one back from the trip today and boy they really are LOUD. I have no problem with them at the world cup but I dread to think that we are going to have groups rolling home from the pub blowing the bloody things.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 01:42 PM

Heh! Vuvuzelas??? I never even heard of the damn things till I saw this thread title. I don't watch any sports events on TV, so I have totally missed whatever the hell it is that's bugging the rest of you about the noise at the soccer games in South Africa. ;-) Just think if you were doing something else with the time instead...how peaceful it could be.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 02:33 PM

And just think if you were doing some sports with your time instead, how much more exciting your life could be!

Works both ways Hawkster..........

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Gurney
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 04:05 PM

Ladies netball fans here have noisemakers, too. Two inflatable large sausage-like skins that they bang together.
Deeper tone than vuvuzelas, they sound more like a growl.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 04:31 PM

Now I'm logged in - thank goodness we don't have to endure such bilge at polo matches.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 18 Jun 10 - 10:29 PM

I used to watch hockey in the late 60s, early 70s, Spaw, and I found it quite exciting at the time...but times have changed.   ;-) I don't give a hoot who wins this or that professional sports game anymore.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Arthur_itus
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 03:47 AM

south-african-woman-ruptures-throat-in-vuvuzela-contest

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: bubblyrat
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 11:28 AM

Why haven't the French supporters all been playing Bombardes ?? THAT would drown out the plastic trumpets !!

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 12:05 PM

If Scotland.... I shudder to even think of it (and I like the pipes).

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 01:56 PM

I like the bagpipes too, but you don't want a whole bunch of them playing stuff haphazardly and all at the same time...

Come to think of it, I don't think you want that with any instruments. ;-)

How about the Alpenhorn? A few thousand of those going all at once would be quite memorable.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 02:17 PM

At least vuvuzelas are better than the incessant drumming.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 02:23 PM

The game game starts soon... surely now all hopes have been dashed by Cameroon/Denmark in the final ninety minutes. Nothing short a of a miracle goal by Cameroon/Denmark could turn this game into a glimmer of a hope of going through...

Yeah, I can mute that shite along with the vuvuzelas.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 05:02 PM

I've never heard such a hideous racket in my life. Should I ever feel inclined to watch any world cup matches, it will be with the sound turned down. Argentina v England seems a remote possibility.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: GUEST,TIA
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 09:44 PM

I am actually in Italy for Italy vs. New Zealand tomorrow. Should I got to a bar ya think?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Little Hawk
Date: 19 Jun 10 - 11:36 PM

I'm betting on Liechtenstein to go all the way this time. Never underestimate "The Sleeping Croissant".

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Edthefolkie
Date: 20 Jun 10 - 11:44 AM

Good point by Bubblyrat re bombardes to support Les Bleus. They could be made of plastic and called Lavieonbleuzas.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 20 Jun 10 - 12:46 PM

Edthefolkie... hahahaa

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 07:50 AM

Bloke on the radio quoted as hating "those Voodo-cello things".

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 10:07 AM

The Consumer Reports site (consumerreports.org) has a video on how to adjust the sound of a digital TV in order to make vuvuzelas less irritating. Sorry, I don't have the link.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: GUEST,Seaking at Sea
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 10:37 AM

None of this as irritating as that loud strange noise that seemed to follow most shots played in the US Golf Open. "INTHEHOLE...."

Maybe where they should stick the Vuvuzelas !

Chris

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 07:29 PM

I am actually in Italy for Italy vs. New Zealand tomorrow. Should I got to a bar ya think?

Did you risk it TIA? And survive?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: greg stephens
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 07:34 PM

You lot think you are worried? I've just been to the English Country Music Weekend, huge room full of people playing D/G melodeons.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: open mike
Date: 21 Jun 10 - 10:12 PM

a.k.a. lepatata - i had to go to wikipedia to see what you were talking
about.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Jack Campin
Date: 22 Jun 10 - 07:56 PM

Vintage vuvuzela on EBay

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Jun 10 - 08:53 PM

Zeus' vulva?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Donuel
Date: 23 Jun 10 - 10:08 AM

I have invented the Vulvazala which uses the same trupet like principles , but its form is far more erotic right down to the mouthpiece.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 06:27 AM

When UK get knocked out (pretty soon, I expect) the ones on sale in UK supermarkets will be sold off cheaply. Kazoo maestros can then get one and do serious damage!

RtS
(cackling insanely)

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: catspaw49
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 07:07 AM

Donnie, your "Vulvazala" is certainly interesting. Could you describe the sound it makes?

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: mousethief
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 01:18 PM

Where should we put them?

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Paul Burke
Date: 24 Jun 10 - 02:50 PM

Vuvuzela,
Nelson Mandela,
Better than the football in
South Africa

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 03:46 PM

Vuvuzela-Konzert

:)

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Noreen
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 03:55 PM

The Fellowship of the Vuvuzela

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:21 PM

I picked up a cheap Vuivuzela in Lidls the other day. We've got a cat we thought was completely deaf. I sneaked up behind her and tried it, and she heard that all right. And I was ordered out of the house.

.......................

Here's a match between a Vuvuzela and a Zurna, which is a sort of Turkish bombard. I reckon there could be an arms race ahead of us at football matches...

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Donuel
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:28 PM

it goes

QUEEEEFF !

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 26 Jun 10 - 06:29 PM

The cat needen't be of hearing to react... the fur on her ass would pick up the sound wave vibrations.

The hair on the back of my neck stands up from the vuvuzelas on the TV with the sound cranked way down.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Ernest
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 09:55 AM

Luxury Edition (often used by Yachtclub Shanty crews)

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 27 Jun 10 - 05:23 PM

Here's a better version of that vuvuzela v zurna duel.

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: JHW
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 08:27 AM

The problem for me is not that vuvuzelas sound like bees,
bees alas now sound like vuvuzelas

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: GUEST,ibo
Date: 28 Jun 10 - 02:32 PM

is that what the buzz is,i thought it was flies around the england team

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: JHW
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 04:34 AM

I'm in a Mummers team but doubt we could bring them back to life again

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Jack Campin
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:08 AM

What's the difference between T in the Park and a vuvuzela?

One is a godawful monotonous racket that drones on and on and causing hearing damage. The other is a plastic trumpet:

Vuvuzelas banned at T in the Park 2010

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: Micca
Date: 30 Jun 10 - 06:50 AM

A Colleaguue at work referred to them as Vulvazelas cos'it sounds like a bunch of c**ts playing a piece of tubing!! I don't think he liked them!

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: gnu
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 03:10 PM

HOORAY!

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 05:29 PM

"The magic of football consists of the two-way exchange of emotions between the pitch and the stands, where the public can transmit a full range of feelings to the players.

That's a classic quote...

Subject: RE: BS: Vuvuzelas
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 01 Sep 10 - 08:12 PM

Doesn't it just cry out to be illustrated with examples.