BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!

Subject: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: khandu
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:11 PM

From: Joe Offer - PM
Date: 19 May 06 - 02:01 PM

Oh, I'm sure khandu will quote me on that, Spaw.
You know how he is.<

There are two people here who quote Joe Offer incessantly. They must really think I'm somethin'..

Oh Yes, Joe Offer...you are really something!!


I will open the Joe Offer Birthmonth wish by quoting the great man himself. He once said "You know how he is", referring to my royal self. And he is right; proving once again that Joe Offer is no Igmo!!

Now, I am aware that his birthmonth is yet a half-month away (See Exhibit 9), but, since I can only break in to the office hear one every few years, I must wish him a happy one when I have the opportunity and this is the opportunity.

I believe it has been several years since the deserving no-so-young man has had a Birthmonth thread honoring him and this is a dispicable sin of omission committed by the entire Mudcat Tribe. I am shocked...shocked, I say, at the lack of consideration shown by you all. You have mistreated Joe Offer as though he were some kind of IGMO, which he isn't! (See Exhibit 7)

But I digress...

Joe Offer, I wish you the grandest of Birthmonths and long may you continue to dance exotically whenever the whim strikes!

Since I will not be responding to any responses to this thread until I can once again make my escape (See Exhibit R.05), which may be a while, I ask those who have been moved to tears by my scathing rebuke of your lack of proper respect for the only Joe Offer we got, to make amends and give him a rousing round of applause during the entirety of his Birthmonth!!!

Once again...HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!! (See Exhibit 23)

Your pompously humble khandu

By the way...Kim C...if you read this, please do a provocative belly dance in honor of Joe's B'month! (Great will be your reward in the Ethereal Kingdom of Mississippi!!!)

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: SINSULL
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:22 PM

What's an IGMO?

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Fortunato
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:22 PM

hbj

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Ernest
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:23 PM

Well, happy birthmonth from over here too...

How are your travel plans btw?

Best wishes
Ernest

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:32 PM

Well, of all the damn miracles, the return of King Khandu is one I never expected. I kinda figgered Joe would have another birthmonth, not that anyone gives a darn, except for maybe the ice cream.

A

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: olddude
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 12:40 PM

Arrrrr matey .... some say .. when the moon is full and the air is still... ya can still hear the cries of his mudder ... Arrrr


LOL
Happy Birthday big guy

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: GUEST,999
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 01:53 PM

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water . . . .

Best wishes, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 01:58 PM

Joe doesn't like birthday threads. If he did, I would say happy birthday or something.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 02:00 PM

SOMETHING!

Have a gooder, Joe.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: GUEST,999
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 02:00 PM

Yeah. Me too.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 02:05 PM

This reminds me of my birth family, Joe. Whenever any of our large family became aware that that one of us had a weakness or a preference or a detested something, the others piled on. (I didn't say that it was not a dysfunctional family) The point: You should never have let anyone know that you don't care for birthday threads.

Happy August Birthmonth, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 02:22 PM

August? Oh, this is really gonna... you know.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: VirginiaTam
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 02:35 PM

Hope you have a

 
            _______  _______ _________ _______  _______ _________ _______  _______ _________ _______  _ 
  |\     /|(  ___  )(  ___  )\__   __/(  ____ \(  ____ )\__   __/(  ____ \(  ____ \\__   __/(  ____ \( )
  | )   ( || (   ) || (   ) |   ) (   | (    \/| (    )|   ) (   | (    \/| (    \/   ) (   | (    \/| |
  | | _ | || |   | || |   | |   | |   | (__    | (____)|   | |   | (__    | (__       | |   | |      | |
  | |( )| || |   | || |   | |   | |   |  __)   |     __)   | |   |  __)   |  __)      | |   | |      | |
  | || || || |   | || |   | |   | |   | (      | (\ (      | |   | (      | (         | |   | |      (_)
  | () () || (___) || (___) |   | |   | (____/\| ) \ \_____) (___| )      | )      ___) (___| (____/\ _ 
  (_______)(_______)(_______)   )_(   (_______/|/   \__/\_______/|/       |/       \_______/(_______/(_)
  

birthday Joe. Whenever it may be.

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 03:14 PM

HEY ... JOE ... Ain't gettin' olde fun! bob

Subject: RE: BS: HAPPY BIRTHMONTH, JOE OFFER!!!!
From: Beer
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 03:17 PM

Your right Kendall,so I'm glad it was started.
Many more Joe.
Ad.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 03:24 PM

Well, I have to say I get a kick out of these annual outporings of good wishes from khandu. I hadn't seen many posts from khandu this year, and I was had to think I wasn't going to get a birthmonth thread...

Thanks, Khandu and all. But hey, my birthday isn't until sometime in August.

-Joe Offer, almost 62-

but I changed the thread title from ALLCAPS, since that's policy.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Deckman
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 03:26 PM

Which August?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 03:38 PM

Every other one, Bob.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 07:15 PM

He doesn't like this, he doesn't like that. Tough noogies. I still like HIM.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: mauvepink
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 07:25 PM

Have a wonderful month of birth Joe!

Best wishes

ms mauvepink

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: jeffp
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 08:52 PM

Happy Birthmonth, Joe. You're a good man and no mistake.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: olddude
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 09:17 PM

Don't expect presents each day of the month either !!
:-)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 09:37 PM

happiness is a Birthmonth & a half!

happy year, too & happy following years & birthmonths.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: katlaughing
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 10:00 PM

Happy Birthday, Joedarlin', whenever it is!

luvyakat

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Janie
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 10:23 PM

In eager anticipation of your birth month, Joe, and to celebrate the day Khandu posted this year to start the thread, the Cape Lookout lighthouse reopened today after being closed for 2 years for repairs.

Rumor has it there will be a banner unfurled there on August 1, proclaiming August to be officially recognized as JOE OFFER'S BIRTH MONTH!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 11:06 PM

Ah....the Cape Lookout Lighthouse is one of the most beautiful I have ever seen. I had to take a ferry boat there, to an island that had no vehicles - I was the only passenger - and then I had to walk half a mile or so through an area I thought was snake-infested.
Ah, but it was worth it. Birthdays are a good time to think about lighthouses, since I grew up in the shadow of a lighthouse.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: The Fooles Troupe
Date: 15 Jul 10 - 11:38 PM

Today, today, today, today
Today, today is your birthday!
It isn't the elephant's or the bear's.
It isn't the pickle's or the pear's...
Today, today, today, today
Today, today is your birthday!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Ebbie
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 01:59 AM

That is a premature ejaculation, Foolestroupe.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Lizzie Cornish 1
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 03:08 AM

'In The Shadow of the Lighthouse' by Joe Offer.....who is going to spend his Birthday Month writing the lyrics, so I've heard.. ;0)

Hey, how come you get a whole month, but we only get a day, Joe?

Must be summat to do with him being in charge of The Button!

I'm gonna get you a new, BIGGER Naughty Step for your long birthday. so you can banish more of us to it next year..until we cool down.

Anyways ups, a Very Happy Unbirthday Wish in July, for August..(this is going to be a very confusin' thread!)

Oh..and I made you a few cakes, one for each day of your Birthday. ;0) xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 03:59 AM

Happy birthday Mr. O

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: My guru always said
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 04:01 AM

How nice to see khandu here again!!

And if Joe were into Birthday threads, I'd wish him Many Happies for this month, next month and All his months!!!
Hil x

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: ranger1
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 11:18 AM

Well, I meant to post to this when I saw it, but was in the middle of a family crisis and just popped in to Mudcat to send a PM to someone before hitting the road. Crisis resolved (more or less), so time to post now :)

Happy pre-birthmonth to someone I'm wicked fond of, the man who e-mailed me my forgotten password when I desperately needed a mudcat fix (I haven't forgotten that password since, btw), who chimed in on one of my birthday threaeds, even though he hates them, and sent me a cheer-up PM when I really needed one.

Happy birthmonth, Joe!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: frogprince
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 11:53 AM

"That is a premature ejaculation, Foolestroupe." (Ebbie)

      No, it' snot.

Can we celebrate September as Joe's afterbirth month?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 01:11 PM

froggy!!!! Hahahahahaaaheheheheheheheee........

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Herga Kitty
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 01:37 PM

Is that august, as in distinguished?

Kitty

PS hope it's happy, anyway!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 03:47 PM

Holy fuckin' cross burnings!!!! Where have you been Ken? Good Christ Man, I thought you might have gone down for the dirt nap or something..............I am so damn glad to see you back, even if just for this dumbass Father JoeBro thread!

For those who don't remember or have never encountered kahndu, he's Mississippi boy with a love for the great John Hurt and a pathetic, brown-nosing, worship, for Joe Offer. A few years back, a group of us tried to cure him of his Offer Addiction (Read the whole sordid tale HERE). He has also tried to peddle used bedsheets and pillowcases on the net but customers complained of the holes in them and the faint smell of kerosene.

In any case, welcome back if even just for a moment old friend. I'm not around as much myself anymore but I miss you.


Spaw

PS---Oh yeah......Joe.....Fuckoff

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 03:56 PM

Herga... "Is that august, as in distinguished?"

Reading some of the posts, he may be extinguished.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Ed T
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 06:00 PM

Statistics show that people who have the most birthmonths live the longest.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Severn
Date: 16 Jul 10 - 08:58 PM

On the 16th day of Pre-Birthmonth,
'Catters gave Joe to dread
A Never-ending rhym-ing thread....

.....And a sheep! (A maid ewe Offer can't refuse!).....



....Yes, you're being "threadened" with unlimited wasted bandwidth in your Exalted Name until the Offer-ing plate overfloweth! The Offer and the Honor switch have been made as one and only Dr.Krevorkian knows where the plug is, and he's probably on an acoustic tour unpluuging his new book, or the like......


May you observe a celebration to be remembered!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: mouldy
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 02:41 AM

Oh yes! Add mine to the heap (of birthday wishes, that is!) because it's nearer to August than not, now.

Taking a deep breath, and hoping the comma made things read right.

Happy (on its way) birthday, Joe!

Andrea x

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 10:38 AM

Happy birthmonth Joe from another August baby who was born a year before you.

May your light burn bright here for many years yet melove.

Live long, die happy.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: catspaw49
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 02:51 PM

"Live long, die happy"

Yeah, but leaving a beautiful corpse is probably out of the question in Joe's case.............

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: frogprince
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 03:25 PM

Well, if you was to freeze it real solid, and then let a good sculptor shape it up, and then paint it up nice...

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: jacqui.c
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 04:22 PM

Oh c'mon boys - Joe is actually very cute in the flesh.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 04:27 PM

Maybe fer ye female types, but he ain't the kinda girl I goes with.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Amos
Date: 17 Jul 10 - 07:00 PM

Gnu:

There's such a thang?



A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: gnu
Date: 18 Jul 10 - 12:58 PM

Well, go without.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy Birthmonth, Joe Offer!!!!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 19 Jul 10 - 12:59 AM

Nonetheless, in all humility, I have to admit that I AM very cute...