Amusing Work Songs??

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 05:12 PM

Yes, I have "The Woodsman's Alphabet" on a record. It starts:

A is for axe, as you very well know.
B is for the boys who use them just so.
C is for chopping that soon will begin,
And D is for the danger we always stand in!

Sing hi derry oh, how merry are we!
There's no-one one half as happy as we!
Sing hi derry oh, hi derry dong!
At the woodsman's shanty, there's nothing goes wrong!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: GUEST,Treaties
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 05:27 PM

The chorus I love is:-

I'm looking for a job with a sky high pay
A four-day week and a two-hour day
I don't know why I should be that way
But I never could abide being idle.

Sorry I don't know the verses.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Amos
Date: 24 Feb 01 - 11:41 PM

As Pat Worked on the Railway is rich with humour of a bitter sort; as is "Drill ye Tarriers, Drill"; and for the kind of work that's outside the mainstream, "Days of Forty-Nine" says a lot. And, as Art says, Warner's "Blue Mountain Lake" is all work and thick with laughs. My Dad was from upstate, although he became a cosmopolitan after college and moved to Manhattan; but the verse that always cracked him and made him hold his sides laughing was:

"And now my good fellas, adieu to you all,
For Christmas is comin' an' I'm goin' ta Glens Falls!
An' when I get there I'll go out on a spree,
Fer ya know when I've money the divil's in me!
Derry down, down, down derry down."

'Course that brings up all kinds of other songs -- the Erie Canal, for one, and the E-RI-E, for another. And the Locktender's Lament, which I believe Burl Ives recorded in the early 60's or thereabouts.

Regards, A.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Arkie
Date: 25 Feb 01 - 01:34 AM

"When I was a lad, I served a term as an office boy in an attorney's firm..."

The policeman's Lot Is Not a Happy One

At least they make me laugh, but then so do the Clintons.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From:
Date: 25 Feb 01 - 04:15 AM

Paddy and the sicknote is a gem, but what about Goldwatch Blues by Donovan

Subject: Lyr Add: I'LL DO ANYTHING BUT WORK (Ray Charles)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 08 Dec 14 - 10:54 PM

I'LL DO ANYTHING BUT WORK
[Some sources say this was written by Ray Charles; others say Dorinda Morgan]
As recorded by Ray Charles on "Rockin' with Ray" (1980)

I'll take you strollin' down Lovers' Lane.
I'll come to see you even in the rain.
I'll do anything for you—but work.

Sing your praises, hold your hand,
Tell the world that I think you're grand.
I'll do anything for you—but slave.*

I'll take you out to dine and dance,
Fill your ears with sweet romance.
See, baby, I know I'm handsome, but what the heck.**
I'm all yours if you pay the check.

I'm yours to have, yours to hold,
But that word "work" just leaves me cold.
I'll do anything for you but work.

I'll take you out to dine and dance,
Fill your ears with sweet romance.
Baby, I'm so good-lookin' it's a shame!**
I'm all yours if you pay the check.

I'm yours to have, yours to hold,
But that word "work" just leaves me cold.
I'll do anything for you but work.


* Other artists sing "work."

** Other artists sing "I know I'm not good lookin', but what the heck."

Spotify has recordings by Lowell Levinger, Grandpa Banana, and Duke Robillard, in addition to Ray Charles.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Bert
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 01:26 AM

ONLY A WORKING MAN

div

When you pick up the Sunday morning papers
It's nearly always trouble that you read
Man and wife, always 'aving strife
For separation each of them will plead
Now if the woman only used a bit of tact
With 'appiness they always would be blessed
Do the same as I do and you'll never 'ave a row
Believe me, my old man's one of the best

Chorus: I wake him every morning when the clock strikes eight
I'm always punctual, never, never late
With a nice cup of tea and a little round of toast
The Sporting Life and the Winning Post
I make him nice and cosy, then I toddle off to work
I do the best I can
For I'm only doing what a woman should do
'Cos he's only a working man

I 'urry home each day and cook the dinner
And give it to 'im nice and 'ot in bed
It's nice to know when to work I go
'E's always thinking of me, so 'e said
"E lies in bed so patiently till I come 'ome to tea
I wouldn't 'ave him vexed at any cost
And if 'e backs a loser, never says an angry word
'Cos I give 'im back the money that 'e lost

Chorus:

div

Written and composed by Rule & Holt
Performed by Lily Morris (1882-1952)

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 03:50 AM

Bluey Brink

There once was a shearer by name Bluey Brink
A devil for work and a terror for drink
He could shear a full hundred each day without fear
And drink without winking four gallons of beer

Now Jimmy the barman who served out the drink
He hated the sight of this here Bluey Brink
Who stayed much too late and who came much too soon
At morning, at evening, at night and at noon

One day as Jimmy was cleaning the bar
With sulphuric acid he kept in a jar
Along comes this shearer a bawling with thirst
Saying whatever you've got Jim just give me the first

Now it aint in the history, you wont find it in print
But that shearer drunk acid with never a wink
Saying that's the stuff Jimmy why strike me stone dead
This'll make me the ringer of Stephenson's shed

All through that long day as he served up the beer
Poor Jimmy was sick with his trouble and fear
Too anxious to argue too worried to fight
He saw that poor shearer a corpse in his fright

But early next morning when he opened the door
Well there was that shearer a yelling for more
With his eyebrows all singed and his whiskers deranged
And holes in hide hide like a dog with the mange.

Says Jimmy and how did you find the new stuff?
Says Bluey it's fine but I've not had enough
It gives me great courage to shear and to fight
But why does that stuff set me whiskers alight?

I thought I knew grog, but I must have been wrong
The stuff that you gave me was proper and strong
It set me to coughing and you know I'm no liar
But every damn cough set me whiskers on fire
Notes

From the singing of A.L.Lloyd. Simon McDonald of Creswick Vic, sings another version called 'Bill Brink' which is closer to Tex Morton's version recorded in the late 1930's.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 08:58 AM

Workin' at the car wash blues

Well, all I can do is a shake my head
You might not believe that it's true
For workin' at this end of Niagara Falls
Is an undiscovered Howard Hughes

So baby, don't expect to see me with no double martini
In any high-brow society news
Cause I got them steadily depressin', low down mind messin'
Workin' at the car wash blues

By the late, great Jim Croce.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 12:26 PM

(Re)scanning quickly through this thread, I didn't see that anyone had nominated The Ratcatcher's Daughter.

Consider it done.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: Lyr Add: BANANA BOAT (DAY-O) (Stan Freberg)
From: brashley46
Date: 09 Dec 14 - 12:34 PM

And there is Stan Freberg's version of Day-Oh (the Banana Boat Song).
Day-o, day-o
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

Day, he say...
(Man, I'm gonna have to ask
You not to shout like that)
Well... (it's like right in my ear)

It goes with the song
(Yeah, but don't holler
In my ear, man)

Well, it's authentic Calypso
(Yeah, but try standing
Next to me, man)

Well, the shout go
With the bongo drum
(Not my bongo drums, man
I mean, move away)

Well, I don't see why
(No, no, no, stand over
Next to the guitar, man)

He sent me over here
(Yeah, well, then sing soft, man
You know, I mean like, wow)

Ok, day... (It's too loud, man)
Day... (that's better)

Me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day
Me say day-o, daylight come
And me wan go home
(Yeah, man)

Work all night
On a drink of rum
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

Stack banana til
The morning come
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

Lift six foot, seven foot
(Hold it, man) eight foot bunch
(Hold it, man)

Daylight come and
(Too loud, man)
Me wan go home
(Too loud)

Lift six foot, seven foot
(Hold it, man) eight foot bunch
(Hold it, man)
Daylight come and
Me wan go home
(My ears, man, like my ears)

Day... (no, hold it, man)
Me say day-o (it's too shrill, man)
(It's too piercing)

Well, I don't see why
(No, it's too piercing, man
It's too piercing)

Well, I got to do the shout
(No, man, it's too piercing
Like I don't dig loud noises)

Well, you ruined the whole
(Piercing) record is what you did
(Yeah, well, tough
I'll take my bongos and go, man
Cause the whole is like
Bugging me, anyhow)

Yeah, well, wait a minute
I won't shout (no, man)
(Like I didn't wanna make
This gig in the first place)

Oh, no, wait a minute
I'll be soft (yeah, well)
(Then back off from me, man
It's too piercing)

Okay, how's this, day-o
(Too loud, man)
Okay, day-o (too loud, man)
(I can still hear you
Would you mind leaving the room)

Okay *footsteps leaving*
Day, me say day-o (crazy)
*Footsteps entering*
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

*Footsteps leaving*
Day, me say day-o
*Footsteps entering*
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

A beautiful bunch
Of ripe banana
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

Hide the deadly
Black tarantula
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

(No, man, don't sing about
Spiders, I mean, like
I don't dig spiders)

Well, that's how the song goes
It goes hide the
Deadly black tarantula
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

(Is that it, can I leave now)
Not yet, we got a big finish

*Footsteps leaving*
Me say day, me say day
Me say day, me say day
Me say day-o

*Knocking*
Hey, I locked myself out
(Crazy) *window breaks*

I come through the window (yeah)
Daylight come and
Me wan go home

Subject: Lyr Add: D. W. WASHBURN (Leiber & Stoller)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 14 Dec 14 - 07:18 PM

This was suggested by Arkie above. This is my transcription.


D. W. WASHBURN
Written by Jerry Leiber & Mike Stoller
As recorded by the Monkees, released as a single, 1968.

"D. W. Washburn," I heard a sweet voice say,
"D. W. Washburn, this is your lucky day.
A hot bowl of soup is waiting, a hot bowl of soup and a shave.
D. W. Washburn, we've picked you to save.

"Can't you hear the flugelhorn? Can't you hear the bell?
Even you can be reborn, you naughty ne'er-do-well.
If you don't get out of that gutter before the next big rain,
D. W. Washburn, you're gonna wash right down the drain.

"Up! Up! Come on, get up!
Get up out of your street!
If you can only make it from your hands to your knees,
I know you can make it to your feet."

"D. W. Washburn," I said to myself,
"D. W. Washburn, why don't you go save somebody else?
Well, I got no job to go to; I don't work and I don't get paid.
I got a bottle of wine; I'm feelin' fine, and I believe I've got it made.

"I'd like to thank all you good people for comin' to my aid,
But I'm D. W. Washburn; I do believe I got it made.

"I do believe I got it made." [Repeat and fade.]

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 10:04 AM

If it's not already in the thread, then
The Strawberry Roan

(Or even if it's already in the thread!)

Okay, it's not heavily funny, but "amusing" is
justified, I think.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: Lyr Add: SONG OF THE TRADES
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 11:19 AM

From the singing of Ewan MacColl (The Wanton Muse)
Jim Carroll

BALLAD OF THE TRADES (English)
This comprehensive catalogue of the tools of the trades might be said to sum up the contents of this album. Each of the songs has been conceived in the terminology of the trade of its maker, each process of work honed down to fine shades of description, each symbol exactly mirroring or extending the tool(s) used, or the medium in which the trade is carried on. Such a song could well be extended into modern life, what with the myriad of new professions, trades and skills daily being developed - as long as the eye remains receptive to impressions of shape, the hand to impressions of texture and the mind open to analogous sensation and creation, 'The Ballad of the Trades' could well have thousands of verses! (Source: a collation of several broadside texts, with tune by the singer.)


SONG OF THE TRADES

Here's to all trades and all tradesmen,
And let you be wise men or fools,
But remember each day that your trade would decay
If the maids didn't look to your tools.
If the maids didn't look to your tools.

The Blacksmith, the smoky old Blacksmith
He's known as the best of good fellows:
But his iron would stay cold and his fire burn no coal
If a maid didn't blow up the bellows. (2)

The Miller, the musty old Miller,
The Miller is strong in the back,
But he won't lift a finger at measuring meal
Till a maiden holds open the sack. (2)

The Tailor, the frisky old Tailor,
He opens his pack in the yard -
But he never will try any fittings unless
There's a maiden to hold out his yard. (2)

The Baker, the dusty old Baker
He's so full of liquor and sin:
And he never will fire his oven red-hot
But he's thrusting his maiden in. (2)

The Butcher, the bloody great butcher,
He sells the best beef on the bone,
But he never starts grinding his cleaver unless
There's a maiden a-turning his stone. (2)

The Brewer, the yeasty old Brewer,
The Brewer that brews beer and ale;
And he never will let his brew come to the boil
But he's taking his maid by the tail. (2)

The Weaver, the cunning old weaver,
He follows the clattering trade;
But he never starts shooting his shuttle without
He's a-shooting it first at his maid. (2)

The Spinner, the weary old Spinner,
Who walks up and down with his mule,
But he's too proud to bend just to keep up his end
And a maid must be doffin his spool. (2)

The Ploughman, the jolly old Ploughman,
He follows the plough in the stilts,
But the clods wouldn't turn if a maid hadn't learned him
To drive the blade up to the hilts. (2)

The Collier, the mucky old Collier,
He works underground in the pit,
But there's never a tub would come up on the rope
If a maid didn't sharpen his pick. (2)

The Tinker, the travelling Tinker,
Who works with his solder and metal;
But he surely would fail when he's driving his nail
If his maid didn't hold up the kettle. (2)

Then drink to the journeyman craftsman,
And all who're apprenticed to trade,
But there's never a screw or a nut would be turned
If it weren't for the help of a maid. (2)

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: GUEST,henryp
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 12:15 PM

The Gas Man Cometh - Flanders and Swann

'Twas on a Monday morning the gas man came to call.
The gas tap wouldn't turn - I wasn't getting gas at all.
He tore out all the skirting boards to try and find the main
And I had to call a carpenter to put them back again.

Oh, it all makes work for the working man to do.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 15 Dec 14 - 05:15 PM

15 years later!

I taught the late Sandy Paton that version of "On Monday I never go to work" {18 Aug 99} when he was here in 1958. I still sing it -- you will find it on my YouTube channel [Title: 'The Working Week']!

≈M≈

http://www.youtube.com/user/mgmyer

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: AlbertsLion
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 10:31 AM

What about Grey Flannel Line (Les Barker?)

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: AlbertsLion
Date: 16 Dec 14 - 10:33 AM

Sorry Robin Hayes!!! (not Les Barker) :-(

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Jack Campin
Date: 07 Mar 21 - 06:07 PM

There has to be some song material in what biologists get to do for a living:

Rabbit-masturbating shanties?

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: JHW
Date: 10 Mar 21 - 03:16 PM

Work wasn't always that amusing. (But I can still remember it)

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: RTim
Date: 10 Mar 21 - 03:27 PM

I sing some of this song, which I got from an old Bob Davenport recording...

Tim Radford

I Don't Work For A Living - Give Me a Hammer
by Edward Lee and James J. Mullan

Oh give me a nail and a hammer
And a picture to hang on the wall
Oh give me a stone stepladder
If you don't, well I might fall
Oh give me a bottle of whiskey
And a barrel of good stong Ale
And I bet you, I'll hang up that picture
If somebody drives the nail

I don't work for a living
I get along alright without
I don't toil all day
I suppose it's because I not built that way
Some people work for love
They say it's all sunshine and gain
But if I can't have sunshine without any work
I guess I'll stay out in the rain.

I've got a pal I think the world of
We never agree, this is why
He says he's the laziest person
That he is more lazy than I
So we made a bet to decide it
I won without trying, you see
When he reached for the dough, I just whispered
"Put the bet in my pocket for me"

I don't work for a living,
I get along all right without.
I live peacefully,
For labor disputes never worry me
I love my family,
And even my mother-in-law
I decided to make them all happy, that's why
I never go home any more.

Now I haven't got a red penny
The reason is I'm always broke
Of pawn tickets I haven't any
My wife's wash is all that's in soak
But I get my three square meals daily
And a place to sleep when it gets dark
If I can't find a bed in the alley
Then I'll find me a bench in the park.

I don't work for a living,
I get along all right without.
Work's not meant for me,
Why, even the thought hurts my dignity
My wife does all the work,
She even puts out the ash-can
But last night I got sore when the neighbors all yelled
"Why don't you put out your old man?"

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: matthewdechant
Date: 10 Mar 21 - 05:56 PM

Lots of great suggestions here, one of my favorites is The Last Bristolian Pirate by the Longest Johns (slight rewrite of The Last Saskatchewan Pirate by the Arrogant Worms)

Oh I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine
I had a little stretch of land, along the western line
But times were hard and though I tried the money wasn't there
And bankers came and took my land and told me "fair is fair."

I looked for every kind of job, the answer always: "no"
"Hire you now?", they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go"
The government they promised me a measly little sum
But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum

And I said: "who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone
I'm going to be a pirate on the river Severn!"

(Yarr!)

[Chorus]
And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho
Coming down the plains
Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains
And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors
When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores

You'd think the other farmers would know that I'm at large
But just the other day I saw an unsuspecting barge
I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser
I rammed their boat and sank it and I stole the fertilizer!

The bridge outside of Redwick spans a mighty river
Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver
Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay
I'll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold
And sail off with their hay!

[Chorus]

Well officer Robbie chased me he was always at my throat
But he followed on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat
But cut backs were a-coming and the copper lost his job
And now he sails with us and we call him Salty Rob!

A swinging sword, a skull and bones a pleasant company
I'll never pay my income tax and screw the VAT (screw it!)
Sailing down to Oldbury, the terror of the sea
If you wanna get to Tesco, boys, you've gotta get by me!

[Chorus]

Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here
I hear that up in Yorkshire there's a band of buccaneers
They roam around the Yorkshire dales from Smith to Beverley
And you're bound to lose your flat cap if you have to pass their way

Winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze
My pirate days are over if the rivers start to freeze
Well I'll be back in springtime but now I've got to fly
I hear there's lots of plundering down in the Isle of Wight

[Chorus x2]

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Senoufou
Date: 10 Mar 21 - 06:10 PM

what about "Right Said Fred" sung by Bernard Cribbens?
(Some Cockney men trying to get a piano up the stairs, and every now and then they have a cup of tea) It can be found on Youtube. (Sorry, can't do blue clicky things)
It was first recorded in 1962 and got into the charts!
Fred keeps having bright ideas about how they can shift the thing, and eventually he thinks taking a crowbar to the ceiling will solve the problem. "Is 'e in trouble, 'alf a ton of rubble landed on the top of 'is dome. So Charlie and me 'ad another cup of tea, and then we went 'ome"
I used to love this song,it always made me laugh!

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: BobL
Date: 11 Mar 21 - 02:27 AM

There's a couple of songs about a muckspreader with a mind of its own, one being from the Yetties. Can't remember the other one.

Correction - three. Just found EDDIE BAKER'S MUCKSPREADER in DT.

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: Acorn4
Date: 11 Mar 21 - 05:00 AM

Blue Arsed Fly

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: saulgoldie
Date: 11 Mar 21 - 12:42 PM

And this:

My Old Man's a Dustman:

https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/17322816/Lonnie+Donegan/My+Old+Man%27s+a+Dustman


And another take on My Old Man:

https://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?songid=7455

Saul

Subject: RE: Amusing Work Songs??
From: saulgoldie
Date: 11 Mar 21 - 12:44 PM

Sorry; corrected linx:


https://www.lyrics.com/lyric/17322816/Lonnie+Donegan/My+Old+Man%27s+a+Dustman


https://www.madmusic.com/song_details.aspx?songid=7455


Saul