Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)

Subject: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 31 Jan 11 - 02:22 PM

You can hear this recording at The Internet Archive or YouTube:

Corrections are eagerly awaited.


I WAS HOLDING MY COCOANUT [sic]
Words and music by Charles Collins & Joe Burley.
As recorded by Harry Champion.

1. I'm a bit of a sport, I am. One day, oh dear, oh lor!
I went to Hampstead Heath and I enjoyed myself, I'm sure.
I had a go at the coconuts. I knocked a beauty down.
I was brimming all over with joy upon my journey back to town.
I was holding my coconut when a lady winked at me.
"I see you've got it with you," she shouted out with glee.
Up came a navvy(?). He threw me in the cut.
The only thing that kept me afloat was holding my coconut.

2. One night I dreamt in a barber shop I got a lovely job.
I went and packed my coconut ....
Dreaming of shaving the customers from my ...,
I soon got hold of a lather brush(?), a razor, and a strop.
I was holding my coconut. My wife awoke and said,
"Whatever are you doing? You must be barmy, Fred."
She started giggling at the capers that I cut.
I was standing there, shaving the hair of the coconut.

3. Mister Solomon's pawn shop I was passing by this morn.
He said, "The wind's been very high, and one of the balls are [sic] gone."
Solomon looked at his sign and said, "Well, can't you help me, please?
There's only a couple of gilded globes a-dangling in the breeze."
I was holding my coconut. The pawnbroker said to me,
"I can't do any business. My sign is broke, you see.
One of the balls are [sic] blown away. My shop I'll have to shut."
I said, "Don't worry yourself, old man. I'll lend you my coconut."

4. One morning I thought I would like to go out shooting on the moors.
I nearly lost my life ... was gunning out of doors.
Under my vest I went and put the coconut, don't you see.
Lucky I did, for instead of a bird, a ... shot at me.
I was holding my coconut when a bullet stuck in my chest.
Up came a doctor. He looked beneath my vest.
"Your blood isn't red. It's white," he said. I said, "Tut-a-tut-tut-a-tut-tut!
I'm not shot in the chest at all; I'm shot in the coconut."

REPEAT LAST 4 LINES.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: GUEST,GOM
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 09:45 AM

"Up (or over) came her hubby" rather than navvy I think

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Long Firm Freddie
Date: 14 Mar 11 - 11:44 AM

Best I can do - second line of the second verse has me stumped - it sort of sounds like "I went and packed me coconut on the bed stick for a nom"

I WAS HOLDING MY COCOANUT [sic]
Words and music by Charles Collins & Joe Burley.
As recorded by Harry Champion.

1. I'm a bit of a sport, I am. One day, oh dear, oh lor!
I went to Hampstead Heath and I enjoyed myself, I'm sure.
I had a go at the coconuts. I knocked a beauty down.
I was brimming all over with joy upon my journey back to town.
I was holding my coconut when a lady winked at me.
"I see you've got it with you," she shouted out with glee.
Up came her hubby. He threw me in the cut.
The only thing that kept me afloat was holding my coconut.

2. One night I dreamt in a barber shop I got a lovely job.
I went and tucked my coconut on the ….. for a …....
Dreaming of shaving the customers from my bed I had to hop
I soon got hold of a lather pot, a razor, and a strop.
I was holding my coconut. My wife awoke and said,
"Whatever are you doing? You must be barmy, Fred."
She started giggling at the capers that I cut.
I was standing there, shaving the hair of the coconut.

3. Mister Solomon's pawn shop I was passing by this morn.
He said, "The wind's been very high, and one of the balls are [sic] gone."
Solomon looked at his sign and said, "Well, can't you help me, please?
There's only a couple of gilded globes a-dangling in the breeze."
I was holding my coconut. The pawnbroker said to me,
"I can't do any business. My sign is broke, you see.
One of the balls are [sic] blown away. My shop I'll have to shut."
I said, "Don't worry yourself, old man. I'll lend you my coconut."

4. One morning I thought I would like to go out shooting on the moors.
I nearly lost my life but as I was coming out of doors.
Under my vest I went and put the coconut, don't you see.
Lucky I did, for instead of a bird, a feller shot at me.
I was holding my coconut when a bullet stuck in my chest.
Up came a doctor. He looked beneath my vest.
"Your blood isn't red. It's white," he said. I said, "Tut-a-tut-tut-a-tut-tut!
I'm not shot in the chest at all; I'm shot in the coconut."

Cheers

LFF

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Snuffy
Date: 15 Mar 11 - 04:50 AM

I went and packed me coconut on the bed stick for a knob?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 16 Mar 11 - 02:03 PM

I have listened again to the recording and I agree to all the corrections suggested above.

I was not familiar with the term "bed stick" so I did some research, and found that a bed stick was a stick used to make a bed (i.e. arrange the covers on a bed) when the bed was placed against a wall, and the far side was not easily reached. I had never heard of such a thing, but then, in my experience, beds (those for two people, anyway) are never placed against walls. I infer that it was once a common thing, despite the obvious inconvenience!

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Steve Parkes
Date: 19 Mar 11 - 04:14 PM

Can I suggest "I went and stuck me coconut on the bed stick for a knob"?

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: GUEST,joolz
Date: 06 Oct 12 - 07:57 PM

Per last poster it's: I went and stuck my coconut on the bedstick for a knob.

People didn't always have the luxury of a bedroom, or of enough bedrooms for all. Even double beds would be in cupboards (presses) or in a bed recess in a main room, see http://www.oldandinteresting.com/box-beds.aspx.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 07 Oct 12 - 04:58 PM

It was probably "for the nonce," meaning temporarily.

Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Was Holding My Coconut (H Champion)
From: Mick Pearce (MCP)
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 12:56 PM

The latest corrections are all ok as far as I can see. The only change I have to add is in the last line of v2:

  I was standing there, shaving the hair off o' the coconut.

Mick