BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...

Subject: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Bobert
Date: 22 May 11 - 09:31 PM

Part of the black music culture is something called "The Dozens"... I am clueless as to where it came from but it is a skit where people puty each other down in a fun way...

I thought that given the the history of folks here vampin' on one another in fun that maybe a "Dozens" thread might make for a little spice...

So...

Yo, Spawzer... Yer breath smells like ju-ju beans!!!

Yo, LH... I heard you roll up Chongz poo and smoke it...

Yo, Amos... Word is that you smoke so much pot that that Space Station folks love flyin' over yer house so they can stick their heads out the window and get them a space buzz...

Yo, BillD... Contemplate this philosopher...

Yo, Rap... I hear that you couldn't hit your foot with a 12 guage... I donno??? I think you could...

Okay, that's fir starters...

Have at it...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 22 May 11 - 11:22 PM

Gee, Bobert, I'm too nice and polite to indulge in such petty stuff. I might offend someone if, for example, I were to mention that the cops back in the hills were you come from can't solve crimes 'cause everybody has the same DNA. We both know it's true, but I wouldn't want to hurt your only feeling.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 11 - 10:13 AM

Yo, Bobert! Heard you're so dumb you think Crescent Wrench is that li'l gal you knew in school!

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 11 - 10:16 AM

Yo, Bobert! There ain't no key of H, even if you do sing in it.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: frogprince
Date: 23 May 11 - 11:13 AM

I thought the dozens was all about "yo mama's" looks and character.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Amos
Date: 23 May 11 - 12:05 PM

Bobert's Momma is so fond of turnips she named him after one. If it weren't for the P-Vine he woulda flunked out of grade school. She just kept sending him back 'til they got tired of him. He plays geetar like a garbageman plays your trash cans. Why... aw, hell, Bobez, this ain't no fun atall. I quit!

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 11 - 01:57 PM

Bobert is three bricks shy of a key.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 11 - 03:20 PM

Yo, Bobert! Don't all your drooling put your guitar strings outa tune? And how can we tell, the way you play?

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 11 - 05:27 PM

Geeziz Bobertz.....are you nuts? Maybe you need to be cause you don't have any real ones. All these guys you're lobbin' puffballs at are mostly jackoffs like Amos who hasn't had a good piece of ass since he fucked a water buffalo one afternoon when he was half drunk at the San Diego zoo. And of course Rap CAN shoot his foot off with a 12 gauge since his dick is no longer in his line of fire having dried up and fallen off long ago. And when it comes to old, Bill works with wood cause that's the only way he can get a Woody anymore. The most accurate part of Little Hawk's name is the "little" bit cause he only has a little bit. He's also the living proof that Eskimos fucked Caribou.

This is yet another example of the dumbass threads that you start. You need something else to do and since P-Vine cut you off from sheer boredom saying you were worse than not fucking at all, I'd suggest you find a vibrating butt plug and a smooth action vibro pocket pussy with cigarette lighter plugs and go take a drive..........


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 11 - 05:44 PM

Now... that is an education in "Mudville Style".

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 11 - 06:22 PM

I really can't enter into the spirit of this for fear of making Spaw curl up into a little ball (which would mean he had three of them) and bawl his fool head off over his own inadequacies.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 11 - 06:27 PM

Go on Rap... make my day. Such a shootout at the Mudcat Corral would be fun to read.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: frogprince
Date: 23 May 11 - 07:17 PM

Didja know that when Spaw wants to eat pussy, he goes down to the morgue and brings some home in a doggy bag?

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: catspaw49
Date: 23 May 11 - 07:27 PM

Maybe so Froggy, but at least I can tell the taste difference.......On the other hand they found you drunk one night licking a dead carp and saying "I love you Dear"..........................


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Bill D
Date: 23 May 11 - 07:29 PM

Spaw couldn't write his famous remarks without a slang dictionary....has to look up naughty words before he can insult anyone...

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: olddude
Date: 23 May 11 - 07:29 PM

Spaw
does that mean Bobster is a needle dick Jarool ...?
well me I won't engage is such insulting as to call my buddie Bobster a jar of bad shine, no siree I wouldn't do that

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 23 May 11 - 09:22 PM

Gentlemen please... let's not let this get tooooo far in the gutter... just yet eh?

Save the gross-outs fer at least after the thread drops off the page.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 23 May 11 - 11:58 PM

Well, gnu, like all Canadians, is so nice.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 24 May 11 - 01:12 AM

No key of H, you say. Ha ha

"In music H is the seventh degree in the diatonic scale. It was formerly used by the Germans for B natural."

I see music from as recently as the 1930's with H in it.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 24 May 11 - 02:05 AM

Hey, Bobert. I know you're tired and worried and homesick, but this 'dozens' idea is a really stupid way to deal with all that.

Why don't you just pick up a guitar, go out on the porch, and see if there are any lightning bugs yet?

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 11 - 03:57 PM

Because they make him homesick for "lightning". Besides, his guitar strings are limp with drool.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 24 May 11 - 04:51 PM

He's been in the jar?

Yo Rap... "nice"? WTF you gettin at? Smile when when you call a Canuck nice eh?

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Bobert
Date: 24 May 11 - 10:36 PM

Well, this is goin' quite nicely...

I figurated that with this limp-dick crew they would read the opening post and go, "Huh???"

Carry on...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 24 May 11 - 11:14 PM

'Course I will, gnu. Because Canucks ARE nice, pleasant, mannerly sorts who never bother anyone except, perhaps, to politely enquire if the visitor might enjoy another cup of Red Rose.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 11 - 09:35 AM

Yo, gnu! Can't think of anything to say about that, eh? Too nice, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 25 May 11 - 12:47 PM

Thanks for the idea, Rap.

AS I type, rain is rattling on the roof, the tornado sirens are blowing, the weather radio is reporting danger. Well east of here, but I'm staying alert.

This calls for a cup of Red Rose tea.

Oh man, here comes the hail!

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 11 - 03:47 PM

"Red Rose???!!!" Thems' fightin words Down East. When they say "Only in Canada." they are right... only in Uppity Canada. I wouldn't drink that slop if ya paid me. It's King Cole Orange Pekoe or... or... or... if ya really want some Red Rose, you go get it and I'll make some for ya... but in a regular pot... not in MY teapot. I gotta draw a line somewhere eh.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 11 - 04:43 PM

Yo, gnu! Yer momma only drunk Red Rose and that's why you're a mutant!

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Bobert
Date: 25 May 11 - 06:23 PM

Any dozens that contains the words "Yer mamma" is a good 'un...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 11 - 06:29 PM

I have never abandoned ship good sir Rap. And, Mum never drank Red Rose unless she was served same when we visited relatives in Uppity Canadaaaa and I am sure she spit it back in the cup when nobody was looking.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: catspaw49
Date: 25 May 11 - 08:48 PM

Okay.....to quote one of the oldest classics for Bobertz benefit........

Ya' wanna' playz the dozens?
Well "The Dozens" is a game.
But the way I fucked yer mamma is gawd damn shame!


And no Bill, I don't do slang sites......I learned plenty as a kid from the second generation Italian guys which were numerous and then in adulthood by working and playing in a field where capping contests were a way of life......not something I'm especially proud of but...................


Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Bobert
Date: 25 May 11 - 09:19 PM

Well, Spawzer... Mom said you weren't half bad... No, she said you was terrible... Maybe you were havin' an off night???

B~

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: gnu
Date: 25 May 11 - 09:43 PM

Off gettin off? How awful.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 May 11 - 10:30 PM

Well, we know about gnu. But most people don't know that Bobert's momma was so fat she sweat pure lard.

Subject: RE: BS: 'The Dozens'.. Mudville Style...
From: GUEST,crazy little woman
Date: 26 May 11 - 09:46 AM

King Cole Orange Pekoe? Let me find a pencil, write that down.

Thanks, gnu.