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The Village of Mudcat
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Subject: The Village of Mudcat From: Den Date: 21 Sep 99 - 08:39 AM The sun rises behind the hills that overlook the village of Mudcat. There's not too much going on at this hour. The only movement, the ribbons tied to the Maypole on the village green and the little curl of smoke rising from the chimney of the bakers shop. Hi I'm Den village sign maker. I have two signs finished and ready to bring across the street to Leej publican of the Mudcat Tavern. There's noone stirring over there yet. Another day begins in our busy little market village with people coming and going. Some come here to visit and move on and others plant roots and stay. I'm sure they'll introduce themselves to you. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Allan C. Date: 21 Sep 99 - 09:52 AM Den, what would you take in trade to make a sign for me? I am running for the office of Village Idiot. It is likely to be a hot competition and I hope to retain your services before all of the others get the notion. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Den Date: 21 Sep 99 - 10:16 AM Hi Allen I was going to suggest maybe some potatoes but you have to be careful where you get them these days. How about you can find me a kat and its a deal. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bert Date: 21 Sep 99 - 10:26 AM Well I guess I'll be stuck doing the ironwork. Think I'll just hang up an old horseshoe for a sign. At least until business picks up. Just need someone to pump my bellows for me. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: alison Date: 21 Sep 99 - 10:35 AM count me in Bert... been playing the uilleann pipes... need all the bellows practice I can get alison |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Dave Swan Date: 21 Sep 99 - 10:41 AM Careful Alan, I once aplied for Village Idiot and Banjer about beat me to death with his drool cup. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: MMario Date: 21 Sep 99 - 11:27 AM Does anyone know "When Katie Sings" from the Minstrels of Mayhem? The thought of a village, quiet except for the smoke drifting up from the bakery - and the smell of baking bread brought it clearly to mind to me....
"There's someone hard at work in the shop down the lane |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: catspaw49 Date: 21 Sep 99 - 11:39 AM Yeah El Swanno, I can see where "Village Idiot" would be quite a horse(s ass) race. Personally, I feel confident that at this point in time, I have the position of "Grossly Scatalogical Irreverent Fockup" all sewn up. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Patrish(inactive) Date: 21 Sep 99 - 11:44 AM .....but then from over the hill comes the sound of bells. Its the morris team from the next village looking as if they have escaped from the cast of the sound of music. They attack one and all with their bladders (??!!)and all the while singing "hey nonny nonny my badgers got piles" |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Dave Swan Date: 21 Sep 99 - 11:45 AM Sounds like we've got an acronym here. Pronounced "GEEZIF" as in Geezif he'd only shut up or Geezif we could keep it out of the gutter. You know how easily I am offended. E.S. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: MMario Date: 21 Sep 99 - 11:47 AM Somehow the village doesn't look to me like the type to suffer bladder attacks gladly. I suspect the morris dancers will have their lyrics rewritten to "hey nonny nonny our possum has piles" |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: catspaw49 Date: 21 Sep 99 - 12:09 PM Good point Mario.........We don't need no stinkin' badgers!!! As you know Cleigh is not fond of badgers and this is a marsupial kind of place. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Allan C. Date: 21 Sep 99 - 12:25 PM Can you play football with badger bladders? Back in the hill country a hog bladder did nicely. Maybe the morris team had a few of them. I may have one around here someplace. Anyone want to sign up for the Village team? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Alice Date: 21 Sep 99 - 05:41 PM Down at Alice's Restaurant, you can get almost anything you want, including a souvenir tee-shirt, a good cup of coffee, a surf on the internet, a book from the lending library, - or join in a session back in the corner that starts every evening at 8pm. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Lonesome EJ Date: 21 Sep 99 - 06:01 PM Me a Publican? Been a Democrat all my life. Darn nice signwork, Den. Sandblasted, routed, brightened with gold leaf. I like the celtic style lettering, and you got the drops spraying from the tail of the catfish just right. Looks like the work of a true Letterhead, if you know what I mean. LEJ |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: katlaughing Date: 21 Sep 99 - 06:05 PM Navel gazing starts at 7p every wednesday night, after a quick cleansing walk through the fire, followed by wading through the crick. After meditative contemplation, the last one in the hot tub at the Tavern is a rotten egg! Oh...and pets are welcome during meditation. BTW, be sure to pick up this week's copy of Contemplative Times. Some of our guest writers include Mudcatter, Peter T., who has compiled an exemplory treatise on Zen and the Art of Dressing Herons. You can also read inspirational advice from our own Father Joebro, as well as read my own article on Which Came First? Sandy & Caroline Paton or the Great Om? In addition,there are humourous quotes from that great, self-deprecating, philosophical wit, known in the diminutive as "'Spaw". Be sure to look for the coupon in this week's edition to Alice's restaurant; good for one Heavenly Host(ess) Twinkie - homemade! |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: bobby's girl Date: 21 Sep 99 - 06:45 PM Hi Dan - I hope you can make me a nice sign for the village Post office. it's a very important part of the village - best place to go to hear about 'spaw's latest exploits. Kat, we also carry a notice board so you can advertise your navel-gazing classes. The Contemplative Times is available here also, and we have a contributions box so you can send your letters to the editor. Call in soon! |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: MAG (inactive) Date: 21 Sep 99 - 07:51 PM Sign me up forthe Morris Team. I'll bring the bandannas. MA |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Banjer Date: 22 Sep 99 - 06:56 AM I didn't think we needed a new election! I thought I had already been awarded the the post of VIP! (Village Idiot, Primary) But OK, if it's an election you folks want, an election it shall be! I would present my platform at this time but since I'm standing on it that would be rather awkward. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Allan C. Date: 22 Sep 99 - 07:50 AM Banjer, I am in awe of your enormous talent in this regard and bow to your esteemed prowess. I shall therefore remove myself from the running and settle for either the post of Village Fool or Village Mendicant. I feel highly qualified for both jobs but fear that I may have a difficult run ahead as there are many others who are almost my equal in both respects. (Note to Den: We may have to alter that sign!) |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: alison Date: 22 Sep 99 - 08:50 AM Hey Bert... do you think Bill Sables might make us the leather uniforms we need to work in the forge???? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bert Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:17 AM Hey, that's a good idea, leather aprons with leaves and roses and mudcats all over them. Better not make one for 'Spaw though. The girls all know him 'in the diminutive' as it is. Don't want to hide any more of him. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: alison Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:19 AM Bert you can have an apron if you like... I was heading more for the Xena- warrior Princess look myself *grin* |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: WyoWoman Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:24 AM Well, when you've finished kicking your bladders around, I hope you'll mosey over to WyoWoman's Chicken Fried Steak, Grits and Polenta Shoppe. I'm having to work as my own serving wench right now, but surely I'll get some help one of these days... |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: catspaw49 Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:44 AM Gee Den, I really don't need a sign.........Everybody pretty well knows that I share a litterbox with Katlaughing out on the other side of the tracks. Kat does keep a nice garden going though (well fertilized I guess) where she communes with the faeries. Both of us can generally be found all over the Village, just wandering and spreadin' a little litter as we go. But I'll tell you what........make me a sign and I'll be happy to offend the person of your choice in return. Guess I'll use Margarita's suggestion with the GSIF added.It should read:
CATSPAW ** "Spaw" ** G.S.I.F.
Practitioner and Purveyor of
www.mudcat.org *** Available Most Hours
Thanks, Spaw |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bert Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:03 AM Alison, I was picturing you more as Leela |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Allan C. Date: 22 Sep 99 - 11:56 AM WW, I'd gladly work for food! Allan C. (V.F. and V.M. candidate) |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: MAG (inactive) Date: 22 Sep 99 - 12:11 PM we already got a whole village composed entirely of Wandering Minstrels; we hafta have regular jobs, too? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Allan C. Date: 22 Sep 99 - 12:22 PM MAG, I DID say I was running for Village Fool didn't I? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: MMario Date: 22 Sep 99 - 12:26 PM Myself, I wanna be Village Audience. There's a lot less work that way. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Den Date: 22 Sep 99 - 05:28 PM What a day yesterday. I was a little worried when the morris guys showed up thumping people. I was just beginning to think we might be in a need of some sort of constabulary when who comes wandering up the street but spaw yelling obscenities and shaking his fist dressed only in his housecoat. Those guys took off I guess they realised they didn't belong. The signs free of charge spaw but could you please stay out of my vegetable garden. Let me see Bobby's girl the bar is right across from me and then the bakery, then its Bert's forge, so you must be the little place with the red roof next to Alice's restaurant. I'll come over tomorrow if that's ok and see what you need. Glad you liked the signs lej and by the sounds of things you sound like your well aquainted with the noble art yourself. Well this days done time to break out the old low d for a tune. I wish a carpenter would move here I need some furniture built so that I can invite some friends over for a hooley. Good job I didn't get too far with Allan's sign seems like he made a popular carreer choice. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: annamill Date: 22 Sep 99 - 06:43 PM I'm going out on the sleepy, gentle river next to the village in my kayak in a moment. Would anyone like to go? Allen, I don't think it's fair for you to drop out of the VI race and give in. For myself, I'd like to hear all the platforms of those who would like this position and choose for myself. I know it would be quite a race. How about it candidates? Well, think about it and we can have the race later if you've a mind. If you don't, you'd be perfect for the job. Anyone that wants to go with me can grab that other kayak over there and come along. Be sure to grab the lifevest too, please. Off I go....
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bill D Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:21 PM well, I will apply for the job of "Lord High Poobah of Taste & Judgement" but when THAT is laughed out of the ballot, I imagine any village can use a resident Woodturner..(makes round stuff from old trees...) |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bert Date: 22 Sep 99 - 09:29 PM (makes round stuff from old trees...)? Bowling Balls?? Annap That creeks a bit shallow in places, try my coracle, it might get across those rapids easier. Bert. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Bill D Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:09 PM Bert!!tsk! bowling balls are a special case of 'round'..called 'spherical'...I guess I could, but don't you think a beer mug or lidded box would be better, (especially since there is almost always some dimensional change in wood,,,which might affect your bowling game...) |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Susan A-R Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:30 PM I'll just set up a little ethnic snack business. P'raps I could sell some of the samosas, spring rolls, sushi, eggrolls, calzone, etc. etc. in the bakery, or even the tavern. Don't wanna be competition, but I think there may be a niche. all of us mudcats seem to like to eat, almost as much as we like to shoot the breze and make music.And NO, Cleigh may NOT come into my kitchen. He's shedding. I'll leave his spring rolls out on the back porch, by the creek.
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: catspaw49 Date: 22 Sep 99 - 10:35 PM Cleigh will thank you..... and could you leave a little Phad Thai and Me Grob for his owner? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Lonesome EJ Date: 22 Sep 99 - 11:42 PM SusanAR... You don't know how long I've been listening to your accounts of Cajun, or Indian, or Thai, or Mexican feasts you've cooked up for some group of lucky individuals, and felt desparate for even some of the left-overs. How about catering a dinner at the Tavern Saturday Night? Tantalize us with some goodies you might be able to cook up in your cyber-kitchen? LEJ |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: lloyd61 Date: 22 Sep 99 - 11:54 PM Is it true that it takes a village to raise a Mudcatter? I read that some place. lloyd61 |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: katlaughing Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:17 AM Lloyd: I am LMAO! Good one! |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: lloyd61 Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:19 AM What is LMAO? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: WyoWoman Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:21 AM It certainly takes a Mudcatter to raise a village. In which case, I think we need a town crier. Of course, that often means waking before noon and I'm not getting the sense that that would be many Mudcateers' first choice. I need someone to advertise my first "specials" night at WyoWoman's Chicken-Fried Steak, etc. Shoppe -- Friday nights are going to be "Lick It Off Your Fingers" night ... |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Lonesome EJ Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:23 AM ..and some of your posole would be a welcome addition, WW |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: lloyd61 Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:37 AM Do we have a retirement complex? This sounds like a noisy town with all the Morris Dancers. We may need a curfew. |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Big Mick Date: 23 Sep 99 - 12:57 AM Shit........I have to get rid of this friggin' day job........it gets in the way of my 'Cattin. I go away for a few days and the good jobs are all taken........OK, the way I see it, I am still the Keeper of the Fertility Rites. But seein' as how being a member of the Mudcat Clergy is not a paying gig, I will fall back on my original trade which is as a Journeyman Carpenter. I will be open for business as soon as I get off my Royal Backside and go salvage my cyber relationship with THE FAIR ONE......first I had to worry about DougR and his WD40 rubdowns, and now I have Bert over here getting my cyberlove into leather outfits...............shit, one more reason to be pissed at the English.........relax, you bunch of oversensitive eejits, it is just a joke.......shit, no damn sense of humor. So anyway, I need the signmaker to make me a shingle for my Carpentry, Cabinetmaker, Uillean Pipe builderand Keeper of the Fertility Rites Shop |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Big Mick Date: 23 Sep 99 - 01:01 AM Oh, and of course they will add to the bottom of the sign......... On call union organizing done 24 hours a day |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Alice Date: 23 Sep 99 - 01:06 AM Mick, does this mean you are going to start a Morris Dancer's Union? |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Big Mick Date: 23 Sep 99 - 01:30 AM I can see it all now, Alice. Morris Dancers International Union, Local 1. Awwright..........all you dancers, line up here and sign these cards...........by Jove, Jupiter, Zeus and Catspaw, we'll improve these conditons and wages......... and by the way, Kat, what the hell does it take to get invited to submit an article for the Contemplative Times?........... T'anks for the organizing lead, Alice. I owe you dinner, and we have a great restaraunt in town. All the best, Mick |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: katlaughing Date: 23 Sep 99 - 03:18 AM Lloyd & others, LMAO, means Laughing My Arse Off. I had to ask the first time I saw it, too. Mick, darlin, seeings how you ARE the Keeper of the Sacred Fertility Rites, how about you have a weekly column, advising us all on how to keep our, ahem relationships "fresh", or some such as you deem interesting? Of course, any other suggestions are welcome. BTW, don't forget, everyone, right now, from the 20th-23rd, we are in Mabon, more commonly know as Fall Equinox, that time when day and night are equal; a time of harvest, giving thanks and joy, of leavetaking and sorrow. This week's meditation circle will commemorate this ocassion with ritual. Please bring something of harvest, flowers, fruit, veggies, or gourds, from your gardens. Also, cords for weaving, shells, and seeds. "Autumn's grain is spring's seed." We will give thanks for our bounty, offer libations, and have a blow out dance party afterwards. Ya'll come now, ya hear?! And, bring your instruments! We can't just sit aorund looking at our navels (or, in Mick's case, at everyone else's) all of the time. There has to be balance, ya know!? Keep practicing those OM's, though! Blessed Be! |
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Subject: RE: The Village of Mudcat From: Ian Stephenson Date: 23 Sep 99 - 07:30 AM Ian Stephenson and Sam Pirt are sat on the public bench by the playground So presently sam seems to be stirring because I've modulated into Eb minor without realising and the dischord is too much for him! (((SNAP))) There goes my D string AGAIN. Sam MUST be awake, because he now has the broken end of a rusty D string lodged in his hand! People walk past and take out there instruments. The music gets louder, and faster, and faster, and faster, and FASTER ---hey! look, its a bodhran player! no offense intended! Any takers for Tamlins reel? |
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