BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul

Subject: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Charley Noble
Date: 16 Jul 11 - 10:53 AM

Ordinarily I avoid threads that comment on religious celebrities but this one I found irresistible. Caution, place coffee mug in secure area before proceeding: click here for report!

For the benefit of those who dread "blue clickies" here a sample from the report:

"In a blow that many insiders saw as the last straw for embattled media titan Rupert Murdoch, Satan today returned Mr. Murdoch's soul to him and demanded his money back."

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jul 11 - 11:09 AM

Speaking on behalf of congressional Republicans, House Majority Leader Eric Cantor (R-VA) said today that trillions could be cut from the Federal budget if Congress can agree to eliminate empathy.

"The current budget is bursting at the seams with pet projects that reek of empathy," Rep. Cantor said. "As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people's basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors."

Rep. Cantor noted that "the word 'empathy' comes from the Greek word 'pathos,' meaning 'pathetic' – and that's exactly what helping people is: pathetic. I will be introducing legislation to remove pathetic empaths from our society by deporting them 300 miles off the shores of Guam."

Once congressional Republicans eliminate such empathy-laden budget items as lunches for poor children, medicine for the indigent and oxygen for seniors, Rep. Cantor said, "We can move from cutting empathy to cutting humanity."

With humanity removed from the budget, he said, "That's where the real savings come in."

By eliminating the food, medicine and oxygen necessary to sustain human life, "We will reduce the single biggest drain on the U.S. economy: people."

Ending on an optimistic note, Rep. Cantor said that by eliminating people, "by the middle of this century the United States will be successfully transformed into one big unmanned Predator drone."

Elsewhere, presidential candidate Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn) today visited historic Monticello, which she called "the home of Jeffrey Dahmer."

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Donuel
Date: 16 Jul 11 - 12:13 PM

With MN gov shut down, what is R MN Michelle Bachman doing to help her state?

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Smokey.
Date: 16 Jul 11 - 04:19 PM

Bruce, tell me it's not true..

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: JennieG
Date: 16 Jul 11 - 05:38 PM

You're sure it's not Santa?

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: alanabit
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 03:55 AM

I enjoyed those articles. They were fun.

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 04:17 AM

Why the apostrophe before the third-person-singular -s at end of verb in the thread title? See various use-of-language &c threads.

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 07:39 AM

Because someone wasn't paying attention to Teacher in his English classes, Mike.

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Charley Noble
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 08:08 AM

M-

Not sure how the apostrophe got into the title. Maybe Joe added it!

Or maybe "Return" is possessed. Watch out!

Charley Noble

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: Bobert
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 09:02 AM

Times are tough all over...

Maybe if they get any tougher, Ruppie might offer his soul up on ebay...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Satan Return's Murdoch's Soul
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 17 Jul 11 - 02:22 PM

"As a nation, we can no longer afford to spend money on people's basic survival needs like a bunch of drunken sailors."

If that's what drunken sailors do, I think we should all be very proud of them.