BS: Things you should never do

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,donuel
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 04:59 PM

For a better view, never stand atop the mound of ice covering the handrails coated in smooth freezing mist atop Niagra Falls in January.

If you still insist upon standing atop the mound, never wear gloves since a good set of fingernails will act like icepicks to arrest your progress on the way down. Lastly, while clinging to the ice with the precipice of the falls yards away and your legs dragging in icewater, never be without friends above.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: MAG
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 05:48 PM

I had one now-ex who tried to tell me how to dress and could be really nasty if I ignored his advice.

so I could say:

never take your guy's advice on how something looks. If he has an opinion, he's a control freak.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 07:17 PM

Walk down stairs wearing spurs
- Phil

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 07:38 PM

Or, squat.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: gnu
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 07:44 PM

Sometimes ya gotta squat... spurs or not.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Joe_F
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 08:32 PM

Pull out a plug by the cord.
Smoke in bed.
Leave here or there without pissing.
Stow the door key under the mat.
Dry a potholder in a microwave oven.
Use rotating machinery with long hair unsecured.
Stand in front of a goat, behind a mule, or anywhere around a fool.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: gnu
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 08:57 PM

Joe F..."Stand in front of a goat, behind a mule, or anywhere around a fool."

Finally! Some SOUND advice!

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 09:02 PM

Hand feed a Raccoon.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 09:30 PM

Hand feed a raccoon to a puma.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 09:41 PM

Hand feed a raccoon to a puma during half time.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 09:43 PM

If youa are an Austrailian, releal your true identity to a sheep.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 09:46 PM

Play leap frog with a Unicorn.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Clontarf83
Date: 10 Dec 11 - 11:16 PM

Things I have done or seen attempted:

Piss over the edge of the Cliffs of Moher (Ireland) in a high wind

Drink a litre and a half of Sangria in the afternoon in Torremolinos and then try to walk back to the hotel

Tune up by ear in a crowded room

Attend an Irish Christian Brothers School

Hold an objective discussion with your wife regarding her new hairdo

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 06:38 AM

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Midchuck
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 07:04 AM

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time.

That's your wife's problem.

P.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 10:53 AM

Try to prove your sincerity by offering to make a $10,000 bet.

Refuse to turn off your cell phone when the flight attendant tells you it's time for takeoff.

(Hey, you'll never run out of these if you pay attention to current events!)

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 11:27 AM

Gingrich has done more "never dos" then the rest of the GOP combined. Now he is leading.

Never underestimate the stupidity of the GOP base.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 12:05 PM

That's for damn sure.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 03:24 PM

They are not so much stupid as desperate.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 03:25 PM

Never argue with someone whose opinion you don't respect.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: kendall
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 04:22 PM

Never give advice. The wise don't need it and the stupid won't heed it.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 05:57 PM

Take a laxative and a sleeping pill at the same time as a long haul air trip.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Dec 11 - 08:59 PM

Never make loud noises, act rude or silly, whip out your whanger or smoke in front of a Father Christmas! And most of all, NEVER get drunk and disorderly in the presence of a Father Christmas! There can only be one result to such foolish behaviour, it will be final, and it won't be nice.

Don't Do THIS!

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,Whistle Stop
Date: 12 Dec 11 - 08:43 AM

Be cruel to a heart that's true.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 07:41 AM

Take a laxative the night before an important appointment or special occasion because if it seems it hasn't worked it is sure to at an inopportune moment later. Believe me.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 12:41 PM

(NEVER) Make fun of a vicious dog just because he is behind a wall or on a chain and appears to be unable to reach you at the moment.

They have very long memories. They do not forgive (unless you're part of their "family").

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 01:32 PM

But in Spain, it is OK to taunt a vicious dog. As long as your taunts are in English.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 02:10 PM

Beware lest you lose the substance by grasping at the shadow. ~Aesop

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 02:24 PM

Have white wine with red meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 02:53 PM

Have red wine in beer mugs with red meat.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: The Sandman
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 05:38 PM

chongo a chimp,never do it

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,Pepe Gonzales
Date: 13 Dec 11 - 06:07 PM

No tienes razon, Jack.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,LongOlWoody
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 10:35 AM

Confuse your haemorrhoid ointment with the super glue

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,LongOlWoody
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 10:37 AM

Tell her its not the jeans that make her look fat.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Musket
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 11:16 AM

When your in laws buy you both a coffee percolator, don't thank them for such a perky copulator.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:18 PM

Confuse your dental cream with haemorrhoid ointment or super glue

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:22 PM

Relieve yourself of gas on an elevator, even if you are alone, and even if there is a possibility that it won't have bilge water aroma.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:23 PM

Confuse topical iodine with vegetable iodine.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:25 PM

Point and laugh at passers by genitalia, unless you are a chimp.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:27 PM

Assume that topical iodine is broadly topical.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: frogprince
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 01:46 PM

Is vegetable iodine for treating injured vegetables?

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 05:12 PM

""Is vegetable iodine for treating injured vegetables? ""

Veggies with a thyroid issue.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 05:13 PM

It's a darned good thing to take daily following nuclear plant meltdowns, whether in near or distant locations.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 15 Dec 11 - 05:31 PM

GOP agenda

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 12:27 AM

In Spain: use a knife as an aid to eating an egg, however cooked.

I understand that this is regarded as a terrible solecism and breach of etiquette, but cannot help wondering why.


Anyone know?

~M~

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 12:40 AM

A remnant of the dark ages? When the knife was needed to fend off starving wastrels and other egg stealing scum?

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 01:37 AM

That's one of the oddest things I've ever heard, MthGM.

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 02:46 AM

Yes, it is odd, isn't it! But seems to be true. I first found it mentioned in Julian Fellowes' novel Snobs, and, checking up on google, found the following on a website:~

~~~
Table manners in Spain, Written by Ben Curtis

March 29th, 2007 at 6:57 pm

Posted in Defining the Spanish,Spanish Culture and News
~~

is it true that in Spain you should not eat eggs with a knife? is this rule universal or only for Spain? Sean
   
Yes, fried eggs should not be eaten with the help of a knife. They should always be cut with your fork or, if in trouble because they have "puntilla" (the crusty border), use a piece of bread to help the fork. Lluci

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: JennieG
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 02:55 AM

Never ever use your wife's hairspray in mistake for underarm deodorant.

Particularly when said wife wonders where her (seldom used, I must admit) hairspray has gone.......

Cheers
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Things you should never do
From: GUEST,Patsy
Date: 16 Dec 11 - 05:14 AM

Never take your temper out on anything technical i.e. the tv, mobile phone, printers, computers or suchlike. You may be tempted to give it a kick or chuck it out of the window but the effect will be costly.