BS: Bottom feeding fish

Subject: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Will Fly
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:14 PM

OMG! Just when I thought it was safe to walk the streets, I'm watching a BBC2 (UK) TV documentary called "Coast: - and they're talking about "bottom-feeding" fish!

Jesus! Can't I walk down the street in safety without some guppy or salmon or - heaven forfend - some bloody mudcat nibbling at my arse (UK-speak for ass)?

Leave me alone - my arse is mine to do with as I want. You're not having it.

No sea-bathing for me this year... Is nothing sacred - not even my cheeks?

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:17 PM

You know those little fish they have in salons, which nibble away the hard skin on your feet? Well...

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Wesley S
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:19 PM

Sorry - I thought this was a thread about Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh. My mistake.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Will Fly
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:24 PM

Eliza - you're just a mass of filth... what a disgusting mind you must have.







And, in any case, there's no wasted hard skin on my bum bits. It's all meat - a real treat..

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,erbert
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:24 PM

still got to be a lot gentler on our poor old bumholes than Izal ever was..

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Paul Burke
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:45 PM

Quick rending of the Crabfish...

Have you seen those fish somewhere in Foreign that go up inside your willy and hook on?

Earth closets begin to look appealing.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,999
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 02:57 PM

Paul, they are mentioned in The SAS Survival Handbook. The author (Wiseman (?)) said he was never able to verify their existence or abilities, but the way to piss was to interrupt the stream every few seconds. That can be done with no discomfort by changing one's aim and spraying at a mate or a tree, etc. They are purported to be in parts of South America.

###############################

I went googling for the creatures name and lo, there IS such a fish. The video talks about it.

http://animal.discovery.com/videos/river-monsters-fish-swims-up-urine-stream.html

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Will Fly
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 03:45 PM

Shudder!

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 04:11 PM

LOL! Congratulations, Will Fly! If these special bottom-feeding fish can be used in salons, we should ALL have nice soft bottoms, just like yours! (What's your secret, eh? Do you rub cream on it every night?)

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Will Fly
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 04:27 PM

Ah, Eliza - 'twould be telling... Let's just say that a diet of bacon butties and pints of winter ale play a part in the formula.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 04:27 PM

Yes, it's called the 'candiru' and it's a fish-like parasite found in the Amazon and its tributaries. It lodges in the urethra. I once watched a documentary about it. A surgeon removed one from an unfortunate chap. The thing has barbs pointing the wrong way, so it's a devil to remove, even once it's killed. Groo!

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 04:32 PM

Will, er... do you rub these things on your bottom, or consume them??

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 04:45 PM

Make darn sure you don't confuse these things with a school of piranha.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 07:13 PM

Then there are the parasitic worms and the leeches. There's a story from Vietnam about a guy who got a six-inch leech on his...never mind.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 10:58 PM

I don't mind the bottom feeding fish, it's the breast feeders that really hurt. Let a good sized bluegill think your nipple looks good to eat and see if you don't wear a Band-Aid for a few days.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Rapparee
Date: 30 Mar 12 - 11:09 PM

Or have one bite you on a mole while you're out swimming. The blood attracts Great Whites, or at least it feels like it.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Gurney
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 04:34 AM

I watched a documentary once which featured a local who fished an Amazon tributary to feed his family. He had two kinds of scars, 1" dents from piranha, and lightning-flash shaped ones from electric eels.

He probably couldn't afford a wet-suit.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 04:38 AM

Down at the ol' swimmin' hole when I was a kid, the little bluegills could be occasional nipple nippers if you laid back in the shallows and dozed off, but they weren't too painful.

But once in a while a crawdad would cosy up to you and them suckers hurt!

Apparently the snappy turkles didn't like commotions, and usually hid at the first splash. I never heard of anyone actually bein' bothered by one of them, 'cept if they tried to pick one up.

Most of the common native fish here (and all of the politicians IMO) are classified as bottom feeders.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Joe_F
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 07:59 PM

Ahem. I naturally supposed you were referring to mudcats.

But, come to think, when I was in a commune in Virginia, a visitor went skinny-dipping in the South Anna, the way we did, and related with gusto that a catfish bit him "right on the butthole". So there you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Mar 12 - 08:28 PM

I ...uh...know..."someone" who was dipping in a little lake when something in there bit...uh..."him"...right on the...uh..."nose". Not absolutely sure what it was, but there were known to be small turtles in there besides fish. Didn't break the skin, but left a nice bruise shaped just like a needle-nose pliers. "He" has been praying ever since that, whatever the thing really was, it was a female !.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 06:50 AM

Froggy -

That sounds more like a crawdad than a turtle. When a turtle bites, even a fairly little one, it doesn't let go. He'd likely have had a piece the shape of the working end of needle-nose pliers missing if it was a turtle - at least for any of the kinds common in my area.

If it was a crawdad, whether it was a female would remain a mystery even if "he'd" caught it. Only the other crawdads can tell which is what, unless it's a "she" carrying lots of eggs.

John

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: Les from Hull
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 09:15 AM

Why aren't female crawdads called crawmums?

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,Pervy Pete
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 10:43 AM

hmmmm... Carp look like they have big soft fleshy lips ideal for sucking..


mmmmmmmm...


Darling, you ok watching "Britain's Got Talent", I'm just popping out for a few hours fishing......

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: GUEST,999
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 11:18 AM

"Carp teeth are called Pharyngeal Teeth and are located at the back of the carps throat just at the beginning of its gullet. These teeth are used for crushing and grinding [shellfish, crawmums, etc] their food and are not for biting in any way."

Ya takes yer chances.

Subject: RE: BS: Bottom feeding fish
From: JohnInKansas
Date: 01 Apr 12 - 12:19 PM

Although carp are generally called "bottom feeders" here, they are pretty much omnivorous, and the best bait for catching them on a hook-n-line is fresh corn. They will take worms or rotten stuff off the bottom, but actually prefer "fresh and tasy" veggies, if you're fishing for carp and don't want to deal with the other true scavengers.

On a quiet lake, you often here mysterious "slurping" that's usually the carp sucking algae (nice fresh stuff) off the surface in the shallows. Their relatively clean diet makes them - usually - much milder flavored than some other fish that do feed on garbage, or even the carnivorous ones that just eat a lot of meat.

In the acquarium, or pool, the carp (a.la. goldfish or koi) need a low protein diet, compared to most fish, and that makes for a lot of extra sh*t, which gives them a reputation for "mucking up the tank;" but "on the inside" they're pretty clean. (and tasty)

John