BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 May 12 - 07:57 PM

Or as Shane would say, "no word of a lie"...

If he says that, you can be 100% sure that he is engaging in extreme prevarication of the most insincere sort, making dubious utterances, and using fraudulent diversionary tactics that employ deliberate obfuscation with a set purpose to deceive.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 09 May 12 - 09:45 PM

Shame would never even think of trying to deceive anyone. He's too stupid to be successful at it.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: GUEST,Officer Walsh, OPP
Date: 09 May 12 - 11:38 PM

That is correct. But...he still has tried to deceive arresting officers on numerous occasions. I would add that he has never succeeded in deceiving any of them, for the reason you stated. He's too stupid.

He's become a legend around here. It's sort of a badge of honour to have participated in 10 or more arrests of Shane McBride, and I'm proud to say I have participated in 22 such arrests at this time. Most of them were for pretty minor stuff, but still...22 arrests is a good round number, I think.

A lot of snowmobiles go missing around here each winter...and sometimes even in the warm weather. My personal caculation is that Shane McBride has been responsible for the theft of up to 10% of those missing snowmobiles, several of which have ended up on the bottom of some local lake or river, usually due to joyrides on overly thin ice. The fact that Shane is still alive is amazing.

Jenny Dana claims that he is under protection of space aliens, and says she saw them beam him up one time. I think that girl is losing it, but I wouldn't say so to her face. I don't want to get her riled up. Anyway, she's a good officer, but it simply can't be true. Number 1: there are no damn space aliens. Number 2: even if there were, why the hell would they be wasting their time protecting Shane McBride? It would be like protecting garbage. Sorry...but it just doesn't add up. What I think is, Jenny Dana's been working too hard and she needs a short vacation.

- E. Walsh

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 09:17 AM

How's her marriage to that Toronto dude working out?

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 10 May 12 - 12:11 PM

I'd be worried about a kid who adheres to a principal.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 02:33 PM

Depends on the principal. The ones I had were either nuns or men and I didn't want to adhere to any of them.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Ed T
Date: 10 May 12 - 03:29 PM

Neighbour to Shane's mother:\:

""Is Shane Lucid?""


Mother:
"'Is he lucid? Hell no, there's nothing wrong with Shane, he ain't been sick""

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Gurney
Date: 10 May 12 - 05:47 PM

Officer Walsh, I feel that I must take issue with your point that " It would be like protecting garbage." I don't know about Canada, but here they put a fence around the dump and a guard on the gate to stop fossicking.
Are Canadian dumps not fenced? Do you allow promiscuous seagull and rat shooting?
Perhaps a ricochet in the forebrain would serve as an explanation?

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Dave MacKenzie
Date: 10 May 12 - 07:10 PM

"Somebody once commented that the Pope is an antidisestablishmentarian"

My understanding of Irish 19c history is that the Pope was definitely prodisestablishment. However, he probably was a very definite ultramontanist.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: GUEST,Officer Walsh, OPP
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:12 PM

Gurney, I get your point. Yes, we do put fences around our dumps here and scavenging is definitely not allowed, while vermin are aggressively discouraged. I therefore amend my previous statement. Protecting Shane would actually make a lot less sense than protecting garbage! Protecting Shane would be more like protecting vermin.

I'll say this, though. He's proven more entertaining than most vermin. The excuses he dreams up for his antisocial acts are side-splittingly funny, not to mention the way he carries on when we don't believe him. We've got a pool going on what he'll say the next time we arrest him.

- E. Walsh

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:19 PM

Lucidity, in Shame's circumstances, works to his detriment due to his surviving fetal anencephaly; he is also genetically a cyclopia.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Ed T
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:34 PM

In Canada the word dump has lost favour to terms like sanitary landfill and some even more flowery. Dumps are normally apartments frequented by Shane type sub-species.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:43 PM

In addition to cyclopia, he exhibits purpure, is anthrophagous, a monocerous, generates aerodynamic lift and propulsive thrust (from flatulence), and has metatarsus adductus. A summation of Shame's condition can be found here.

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: GUEST,Officer Walsh, OPP
Date: 10 May 12 - 08:48 PM

Yeah, "sanitary landfill site". ;-D But in your heart, Ed, you still know it's "the dump". It's become quite a business of late, what with all the recycling categories. As for the dumps that vermin like Shane live in...you have gotta see them to believe them, and I have seen a lot of them! The house Shane and Don live in is a sort of a midscale example of the type, not too bad, probaby because Don has to keep it reasonable to entertain his many girlfriends. He's quite the ladies' man for some reason. But there's one section of it that is like the very pit of hell. Shane's bedroom. Only the brave or the very stupid dare enter it. My job, of course, has required me to enter it on a few occasions in order to drag him out by the scruff of his unwashed neck. Nasty. But that's how the job goes.

- E. Walsh

Subject: RE: BS: More BIG flippin' words! Why?
From: Rapparee
Date: 10 May 12 - 09:55 PM

Is it true that Shame breeds cockroaches?