BS: Bra fitting clinic

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 12:23 PM

The pen is mightier than the ........

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 11:50 AM

Hmm. Well, he's also got one called "Dear Penis". It's a conversation between him and his other brain, and it's very funny. The best version of it on Youtube is the one where it's done as an animated cartoon. The live performance version on stage has huge inflatable penises on the stage which again seems pretty crass to me. I would prefer that he didn't bother appealling to the lowest minds in the audience.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 07:38 AM

Y'now LH, I thought of this, and thought maybe not, as it's a word I loathe. Then I thought about it again, and I thought, WTF.
Don't you mean ' Cuntry-Sex novelty songs'

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 07:16 AM

Indeed it is rather crass, John. But, as most any humourist will tell you, (they use the term pushing the envelope - a copout to me) the "homour-level" of the audience varies so one has to throw in low to high brow humour to make them all laugh. It sells tickets. In Rodney's case, I find it disappointing that he feels the need to do so... with his money, he doesn't need to sell "those" tickets. I dislike it but I just ignore the crass stuff and enjoy the good stuff.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 07:11 AM

Things that inspire song

John Hartford

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 11 Oct 12 - 04:25 AM

Fun bags ?????
That's somewhat derogatory in my book.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 08:29 PM

Rodney Carrington's carved out a unique niche for himself in music: Country-Sex novelty songs. And he does them very, very well. Nice of the girls in the audience to oblige.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 07:13 PM

Dan... I have watched EVERYthing Rodney Carrington has on the internut. Fantastic talent! Thanks... I watched the whole vid again. >;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 09:04 AM

Here ya go GNU
LOL
show them to me

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 08:49 AM

Boobys

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 06:44 AM

I often wonder why they call stupid or useless people boobs?

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 12:45 AM

One of my friends at the College had his PH.D in Math, every time someone would ask him what he was a doctor of he would say gynaecologist.

And the women would say..... Gynecologist? Like Ron Paul? Like Tom Colburn??? Blech!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 10 Oct 12 - 12:15 AM

"The healthy female body is beautiful thing to behold."
That should read "BE HELD".

As far as size goes, what you can't fit in your mouth is wasted.

Speaking of wasted, why do they call the area between a Woman's breasts and her hips a waist?
Because there's room there for another set of tits.

I'm going.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 06:57 PM

The ex and I used ta dance like that but I threw my back out. She had big... elbows.

I promise I will only be serious for a minute. Women with large breasts can suffer from various problems. My ex had problems with her back. And her attitude.

Told ya.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 06:39 PM

Two perfect bodies, male and female, both in perfect physical condition.

Not nude, although they appear to be. Both are fully clad in flesh-colored ballet tights.

I first saw this on television, the "Classic Arts Showcase" channel, that shows clips from concerts, scenes from opera and ballet, clips from classic movies, interviews with artists and performers.

This is entitled, "The Eternal Idol," and I believe it was inspired by Auguste Rodin's statue, "The Kiss."

Warning:   Romantic. Erotic. But not porn.

CLICKY. Absolutely beautiful!! Lasts about ten minutes. The music is by Chopin.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 05:22 PM

I draw the line at breasts which are each larger than the poor woman's head is! Pretty scary stuff, if you ask me.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 05:18 PM

I like em all. Welllll, most sizes and shapes.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:56 PM

So do I. I think such a preference is fairly common, though you'd never know it if you went by what the mass media keep telling us.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:46 PM

I like small tits.

There, somebody had to say it :))))


(.)(.)

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:16 PM

Ph.D. in math... I can't count that high.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,olddude
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:12 PM

One of my friends at the College had his PH.D in Math, every time someone would ask him what he was a doctor of he would say gynaecologist

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 04:00 PM

The female breast is not quite the same as a can of lard, GUEST.

"To him who understands, no explanation is necessary. To him who does not understand, no explanation is possible."

The healthy female body is beautiful thing to behold. Nature has designed it that way for a purpose.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 03:44 PM

"Why do we MAKE SUCH A FUSS OVER A HANDFUL OF FATTY TISSUE?"

Because, it makes us thorny, you silly bunt;)

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 01:33 PM

Why do we MAKE SUCH A FUSS OVER A HANDFUL OF FATTY TISSUE?

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Oct 12 - 02:04 AM

Oh, wotthehell! Sooner or later somebody had to do it!

Woman with big jugs.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 08:26 PM

""Actress Clara Bow's age when she went braless in the 1927 film It. "She's top-heavy with 'It,'" a character remarked in a scene where Bow's nipples are visible through her shirt...

1943: Year producer Howard Hughes had a cleavage-emphasizing bra designed for actress Jane Russell after complaining on the set of The Outlaw: "We're not getting enough production out of Jane's breasts."

45: Years later that Russell revealed in her biography that she had instantly hated Hughes's painful bra, thrown it behind her bed, and worn her own retooled bra instead. But it was Hughes's construction, the cantilever bra, that became known as "the bra that saved Hollywood.""

Beauty by Numbers-Bras

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 08:11 PM

"We chatted about the matter a bit. I emphasized her general charm and attractiveness and the fact that she was quite intelligent (which I, personally, found quite attractive)."

I've ALWAYS said, since I grew up and became a man (well, kinda), intelligence and eyes and a sense of humour. If she doesn't smile, don't have anything to do with her. Tits ain't got nothin ta do with it. It's the smile and the brains.

But I like titties. I ain't THAT... ahhh... errr... philosophic. Catch me after a few more beers and I might be.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 07:58 PM

My personal research has led me to believe all women have one bigger than the other. Luckily, mens hands are also the same - a match. I am unsure what that means for left handed folks. I will leave them to explain this direct mis-match experience.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 07:47 PM

Good one, Kendall...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,kendall
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 07:32 PM

I had a girl friend whose boobs were two different sizes. She entered a wet tee shirt contest and won first and third prize.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Ed T
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 04:00 PM

At a party, a good friend of mine (who has very little in the breast department, and it does not seem to matter to her) is a bit of a comedian and a good singer. She once started Me and Bobby Magee this way:

Looking down at her chest, she began "Flat busted in Baton Rouge, waiting for a train"

She got a big laugh and it seemed to give a sligtly different meaning to the song:)

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:36 PM

No doubt. And I'd most likely have been attracted to the woman you first spoke of in that post, judging by how you describe her.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Don Firth
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:31 PM

I was sitting in the cafeteria of the student union building at the University of Washington back in the early 1950s having coffee with a young woman of my acquaintance. She was boy-friendless at the time, and she knew I was going with someone, so we were just good friends.

She was small, quite pretty, and very bright.

She asked me, quite concerned, if men ever got interested in "flat-chested" girls. I noted that, although she had a couple of pleasantly intriguing mounds in the front of her sweater, she was nowhere near as "well-endowed" as some. Not "flat-chested," however. Just not large in that department.

We chatted about the matter a bit. I emphasized her general charm and attractiveness and the fact that she was quite intelligent (which I, personally, found quite attractive).

And I said, "Let me put it this way: would you really be interested in some guy who is more interested in your bra measurements than he is in you?"

She thought about that for a moment or two, then started to smile.

I think she felt a whole lot better after that conversation. I hope so.

####

While working at Boeing as a draftsman and production illustrator in the late 1960s, I sat at a big drawing table, along with row upon row of other drawing tables, about 125 altogether. A very large room. In the corner was a great big blueprint printing machine that served several departments along with our own.

A couple of times a week, a young woman walked through the department, carrying a batch of large rolled up drawings to have turned into blueprints.

There was a great craning on necks along with snickering comments back and forth on the part of some of the younger guys in the department because this young woman had monumental breasts. She looked like she was smuggling a pair of basketballs under her sweater.

It was easy to tell that she was fully aware of the stares and whispered remarks. Carrying that much weight had to be uncomfortable—along with the perpetual embarrassment of being stared at everywhere she went by young males with more balls than brains.

I really felt sorry for her. She was definitely a candidate for breast reduction surgery.

I'm sure she would have gleefully swapped bodies with the young woman I spoke of above.

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: gnu
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:20 PM

NO WAY! I can't! Thank you all... and, Megan... I CAN'T! Hahahahahaa.

Yer a gem, lass!

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Bobert
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:14 PM

So the P-Vine went to one of these a couple weeks ago and the owner herself was kinda pushy ol' broad and the P-Vine, well, she ain't... Got home with all the stuff and tried it on and...

...sheet fire... How do you spell "Dolly Parton"... Ya' see, the P-Vine has always been like a 34" and this was a 40"...

So last week she took everything back and got fitted properly...

BTW, there are these rubbery looking inserts they use to make them match and what they have to do is use it on the side where the surgery wasn't 'cause the surgeons have a difficult time getting implants to sag just right 'cause most women want a perkier look so they have to perk up the one that wasn't operated on...

No matter... If any of ya'll men take you ladies to one of these be prepared... It's a couple hours...

B~

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:51 PM

Argh!

Where do chimps fit into that story, Don?

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Don Firth
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:40 PM

What REALLY happened in the Garden of Eden:

God created Eve before He created Adam.

He created her with three breasts. Eve said, "Well, I don't know. Don't You think this might be a little excessive?"

God took a second look, thought about it for a moment, then removed the middle breast. Eve said, "Oh, thank You so much! That's much more comfortable!" and went skipping off happily into the Garden.

God stood there with the extra breast in His hand and mused, "Hmm. Now what I can do with a useless boob. . . ?"

Then God made man.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Megan L
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:34 PM

Haud yer wheesht ya tumshie hieded tattieboggle they dae different sizes fur aw ocassions

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:32 PM

That's not a bra fitting service. That's where you buy your frocks!

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Megan L
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:26 PM

Who needs a bra fitting clinic I just go to Blacks of Greenock

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Little Hawk
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:16 PM

They would certainly assist bouyancy. I've always been very thin, and I had great difficulty learning to swim, and never got any good at it. I don't float very well.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 01:26 PM

My sister, who has a tiny bust, laughs at my Endowment. She says it appears round the corner then 5 mins later the rest of me comes into view. But my large boobs helped me to learn to swim - built-in waterwings. She never did, she's only a 32A.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: SINSULL
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 09:48 AM

I laughed too, gnu. And trust me, mine are no laughing matter. Bra Fitting Clinics are for those of us who can't simply buy something lacy off the rack or an Ahhh Bra and expect not to lose a tooth if we have to run for a bus.
And don't get me started on mammograms. The resigned sigh when I walk in for mine is inevitable. LOL
On another note, my sister-in-law who go braless if she wanted, was talked into buying some outrageously expensive hand made French bras. They are poor torture, she says. $200 for a torturous bra. Go figure.
SINS

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Becca72
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 09:18 AM

Speaking as someone who has tits, bra-fitting clinics are not just for those who have had mastectomies. Many of your department stores/women's clothing stores offer bra fittings for anyone who wants one.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 08:54 AM

Thank you for your warm support.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,Black Belt Caterpillar Wrestler
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 07:33 AM

As Spike Milligan wrote:

"Breasts grow on you. If they grow on me I'm going to the pictures alone".

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,Eliza
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 04:20 AM

This thread has made me laugh and cheered me up a lot. Some very funny posts, and nothing offensive IMO. Here in UK there are Bra Fitting Services in many shops (eg Marks and Spencers) They're for all women, including those who have had mastectomies. I've found them helpful. I'm cup size F, and was wearing bras too small, as many women do. The lady reduced my all-round measurement to a rather small 34" (I was pleased!) and increased the cup size to F, or G in some bras. This made a difference and stopped the back-ache. African men have no interest whatsoever in breasts. Their womenfolk go around virtually topless, feeding babies etc and no-one is in the least excited. But if they see a Bottom, and especially a Fat One, well... which is very very good news in my case!

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 03:54 AM

Vot vee need here ist mein alt freund Varm Hans.

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: Richard Bridge
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 02:17 AM

Devizes

Subject: RE: BS: Bra fitting clinic
From: GUEST,Frank
Date: 08 Oct 12 - 12:34 AM

Did you hear about the dyslestic man who walked into a BRA.

Then there was the girl who had a third breast in the middle of her back......not much to look at but great to dance with.

There was a young lady from Assizes
Who breasts were two different sizes
One was so small
t'was nothing at all
But the other was huge and won prizes.

I'm out of here.