Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 05 Oct 03 - 03:10 AM Oh, it's like talking to an old friend again after months apart! I regret to say that the two newbie cats (who aren't so newbie, they are rapidly approaching their second anniversary with me) have continued the traditions. Amber the tortoiseshell has a delicate little botty, which, although malodourous, has never been violently offensive. Max the black and white twit has an arse that is evil incarnate. He also has dodgy back legs (both hips broken when a kitten) so can't jump down and get out the room so well. I solve it by leaving him and getting myself out. Oh, and to link (although not physically) with another thread - Shadow sat on the stove last night and burned her arsehairs. Tradition means a lot in our house! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: wysiwyg Date: 05 Oct 03 - 01:09 AM thread: Cat Farts / ads: Save Endangered Wildlife: "We take action to protect & educate worldwide. Learn how you can help!" and "The Green Guide, The Source for Eco-Friendly Advice. Product Reviews, Shopping Tips." ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: rangeroger Date: 05 Oct 03 - 12:29 AM It's time to resurrect this. rr |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: GUEST,Carol's Friend Don Date: 02 Mar 01 - 12:09 PM You guys must have little cats in Europe. Genghis Khat weighed over 28 pounds and lived in the horse barn. He was all black and had a face like a gorilla, wide with large nostrils. My favorite picture of him is stretched over the seats of two ladderback chairs set side by side. I used to tell my neighbors to wrap their female kitties in duct tape, so they wouldn't explode when he boinked them. He slept on the rear quarters of the Dartmoor pony and would drop off onto the grain rats as they tried to scarf up the sweet feed dropped by the horses. No rodent ever suffered, and was consumed immediately, with a shake that disloged the spleen and literally nothing else. He used to leave rabbit heads still upright in the front yard, as though they were just emerging from the ground. In the morning I would have to police them up before my daughter went out to wait for the school bus. Thee only time he ever farted at all was right after I would give him a pill, which was relatively easier than some of the above accounts. I simply tossed him into an old sea bag and tied off his head as it emerged. While holding the bag with padded gloves (no fool I!) I would stick a turkey baster, preloaded with the pill and some bacon grease to seal the calibre, into his mouth with one hand, and then stomp on the bulb. The recoil would stuff him back into the bag, which I would then quickly toss into the yard. Sometimes he would stay in the bag and sulk for a couple of hours, though one time the neighbor's young son and his German Shepherd, "Panzer" tried to open the bag. The boy gave the best description of a cat and dog fight I've ever heard. He said "Mister, it looked like "Panzer" was wearing a dog suit, and the cat was trying to pull it off over his head". (Remember, the best way to stop a dog from chasing cats, is to let him catch one...) My Irish Setters were much worst, though they would give clear warning of an impending toxic release into the atmosphere. Any time the "feathers"(long fur on the hindquarters of a sporting breed) straightened out and pointed to the rear of the dog, you needed to evacuate the room, slam the door, and then duct tape the keyhole. But, even that had some advantage. As long as only the dogs were left in the room, it killed all the flies. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Ella who is Sooze Date: 02 Mar 01 - 09:39 AM I knew this thread would be a good one... good for a laugh. So I saved it til Friday afternoon to have a read... Excellent, cheered me up! Ella My cats don't fart.... They are little angels |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Áine Date: 01 Mar 01 - 07:19 PM Here's the 'longhand' version, Katcina: http://www.geocities.com/doireanne/storytellers_index.html Enjoy! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Katcina Date: 01 Mar 01 - 05:17 PM Aine, How do we access The Mudcat Storytellers' Page without having your blue clicky. I've tried everything I can think of and keep having to come back to this to gain access. Thanks, Jer' |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: tiggerdooley Date: 28 Feb 01 - 04:39 PM Remember - a Tigger is a type of feline, so be glad that the Forum does not have smellyvision (although I'm sure one of you techno whizzkids is working on it as we speak)!! And does that make me a Mudtigger?...... |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 28 Feb 01 - 04:21 PM OOOOOOHHH yes, that's how this ALL got started..... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: tiggerdooley Date: 28 Feb 01 - 03:59 PM Ever picked up a cat, and the pressure has caused a little 'phhhhhhf'? I truly am sorry for this posting, but it had to be said. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: cowboypoet Date: 28 Feb 01 - 03:39 PM Of our seven -- Jake, Lucy, Moose and Squirrel (honest to God it's a coincidence), Tosca, Charles Manson, and the Exalted Bhat, only one has ever had a flatulence problem, and of course it would have to be "my" cat -- the one who always wants to sit on my lap, facing toward my feet with her tail in the air of course. Tosca (a gay friend of mine maintains I'm the only straight guy in the world with a cat named after an opera) could kill trees at 30 paces with one cheek tied behind her. Finally, on the recommendation of a friend we tried feeding her Precise cat food. We get it at the local Wild Oats (a natural foods chain). Et voila'. She may still fart but they don't stink or drown out the music I'm listening to so I don't care. Still don't much care to look at her butt, though. Reminds me of Grandma when she was annoyed, which was all of her waking moments. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Áine Date: 27 Feb 01 - 09:11 PM Dear Inukshuk, Would you allow me please to include your story on The Mudcat Storytellers' Page? That way, you could share your concern with many more 'Catters (so to speak). And I have to agree with Little Hawk -- canine flatulence (a/k/a CSBD Syndrome) is much more prevalent and 'emphatic' than FSBD Syndrome. A recent example of which I can relate is -- Last week, our estate agent came by with a contract to sell our house. Champ, our wonderful Dalmoxer, was not in the house, and, as Champ has become quite fond of said estate agent, the estate agent asked where he was. Worried and embarrassed glances were then exchanged between Dear Hubby and myself. However, we finally admitted that Champ had been banned to the backyard because of his nervous tummy. Last night, the same agent was by the house, and nervous and embarrassed glances were once exchanged between myself and Dear Hubby, as we held our breath (so to speak), hoping that Champ (who was all over the agent) would not make him a victim of his occassional CSBDS . . . but, that's another story . . . -- Áine |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 27 Feb 01 - 05:26 PM The winds blow high, the winds blow low.... Blow the wind southerly..... They call the wind Maria..... The possibilities of songs about wind are endless.... plus all that potential woodwind power..... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: GUEST Date: 27 Feb 01 - 05:22 PM Liquid and solid crap don't have much to do with music, but with gas phase, just maybe, you could train your cat to fart something simple like "Taps". "Kitten on the keys" would perhaps be expecting a little too much. I've never measured the density of cat farts, so don't know what the velocity of sound and resulting frequencies would be. You may even invent a new key that way. Cows fart methane, and they might be good for a harmony part for the tune. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 27 Feb 01 - 03:19 AM You've never been at Micca's house the morning after..... LTS - who is by no means living far from Sparta herself.... although my Bro in law would win any given competition for both viscosity, endurance and volume.. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Little Hawk Date: 26 Feb 01 - 09:40 PM That is pretty moving stuff, inukshuk. I find it amazing that a thread on feline flatulence would run to over 90 posts, but I should think one on canine flatulence would go considerably further. In my experience NO ONE can match dogs in this department. No one. - LH |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Inukshuk Date: 26 Feb 01 - 07:38 PM Dear Friends and fellow cat lovers, ABNORMAL FELINE BEHAVIOUR IN THE ARCTIC Inukshuk |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: catspaw49 Date: 26 Feb 01 - 06:09 PM Happy Anniversary double r......some nice refreshes too. Spaw |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: JenEllen Date: 26 Feb 01 - 05:30 PM Gawd you guys make me laugh!! First off, most of the gastrointestinal problems that animal have are diet related. Almost ALL of their physical problems can be related to diet. For cats, the best all around diet I've found is ScienceDiet adult maintenence. Don't let the price fool you. They have a feeding chart on the back, and price-wise, the food just lasts longer per bag than store-bought cat foods. They also make a canned food Bert, but the extra oils and water can lead to GI problems too. Dry is just better. It's nutritionally sound, and it chips the tartar off of their teeth too. The big bonus, is if you feed them less, there is less to clean up too! I always tell folks it's like the cereal adverts. You could feed 12 bowls of friskies to one bowl of this food. You do the litterbox math... Homeopathically...mix equal amounts of dried catnip with dried parsley. Sprinkle a bit of that in their food. The catnip shouts EAT ME and the parsley does the non-stink duty in the intestines... For dogs...I'm sorry to report, even though the ScienceDiet stuff is GREAT...Science has yet to find a way to make a dog stop farting. The best we can do is learn to use it this energy source for good. (We've already drawn up plans at work for little ass-mounted windmills.....)
Love to every stinkin' one of you, |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Jock Morris Date: 26 Feb 01 - 04:48 PM Dave Goulder's method for worming a cat would probably work for curing the farts as well. Involves about 30 feet of string with a knot at every three, a sardine as bait and a cruel streak:-) When I see him next I'll try and get the words for his nasty little poem. Nice chap as Dave is he ain't no cat lover. Scott |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 26 Feb 01 - 02:38 PM Covering up the stink just makes him want to repost it as it were, like refreshing an old thread..... Thanks for the memories of Stinky Cat Farts, something I don't get a great deal of now that the perpetrator has passed to that litter tray in the sky. He never did poop in anyone's shoes that I remember, although he did puke on the bed once. LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: wdyat12 Date: 26 Feb 01 - 11:23 AM Cat farts are one thing, but...... I haven't enjoyed the company of a cat inside my house since Rosie passed away, but I have many well-mannered cats and dogs that frequent my porch to bask in the sun and receive many hugs, pats, and praise from me. These are my company when I'm outside, my "porchpals" as I call them. I never feed them because I wouldn't want other people feeding my pets if I had any. I've never noticed any foul odors emanating from these animals while enjoying their company, however, there is this phantom, Old Tom, that leaves his calling card on my front door when the other female cats are in heat. Geeze! does that stink when the sun bakes on it. I have tried everything from Urine-Kleen to new paint to eradicate the smell and have been fairly successful, but that does not discourage Old Tom from marking his territory on a regular basis. As soon as he senses that I have erased the smell, he sneaks back and reestablishes his claim on my porch. I have had several heart to heart talks with Old Tom about the problem, but he says he forgets. Anyone know any cat psychology or have any humane ideas for discouraging this kind of behavior? I enjoy his company too, so I don't want him to feel unwelcome. Pew! wdyat12 |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Katcina Date: 26 Feb 01 - 09:46 AM I managed to resist the urge to open this last night. Sure am glad now that I did, or I would have never gotten to sleep for laughing so hard. With 3 cats, 2 dogs, and crazy George I appreciate all of the good advice on how to handle the problem. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: GUEST,Mark. West Sussex U.K. Date: 26 Feb 01 - 07:06 AM Oh Noooooh! I don't believe this. Where else in the world could you get nearly a hundred people discussing farting felines. Priceless! Thanks you lot, you may not have cured the cats but you sure as hell have cheered me up. Anyway, I have this tortoise ... no, forget it. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: BlueJay Date: 26 Feb 01 - 05:14 AM Rangeroger- Wow, I'd completely forgotten this one. I'm sure you'll be happy to know that both my cat and my dog are now stinkless, mostly. Also, the need to shit in my shoes has thankfully ended. Happy Mudcat Anniversary. You may do what you wish with this valuable information. BlueJay |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Áine Date: 25 Feb 01 - 11:13 PM Happy Mudcatversary, rangeroger!! This thread is definitely at the top of my own 'Mudcat Classic Thread' list -- thanks for bringing back some good memories. -- Áine (who's got a new doggie friend now, who is just as flatulent as his (wonderful, faithful, sweet, brave) predecessor!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Sorcha Date: 25 Feb 01 - 10:43 PM (cat farts, oh noooooooo) |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: rangeroger Date: 25 Feb 01 - 10:36 PM As it is the anniversary of my entry into the zany world of the Mudat community I thought I would resurrect a few of the threads that ensnared me here and insured my Mudcat addiction. rr |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: wysiwyg Date: 25 Feb 00 - 11:29 PM Oooooeeee, eetle hamster farts!! Can ye light 'em? |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Osmium Date: 25 Feb 00 - 05:27 PM If all else fails try a Homeopathic Vet; nice to use something that science sais cannot work but we've had a lot of succes not just with cat farts but dog farts, hampster farts and snake bites. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: wysiwyg Date: 25 Feb 00 - 03:38 PM GET VAH-VOOM, TODAY! [60'2-ish TV cartoon-type ad] [jingle plays...] Wanna get ridda that (ooo!) awful stink? And keep your kitty (blap!) in the pink? Bristol & Meyers have done it for you! Getcha self a bottle of New, Vah-Voom! No morra those nasties when (whoops!) kitty poots! No need to change kibbles! (zing!) Use Puss-n-Boots! One little dose is all you will need! With New Vah-Voom--it's guaranteed! [voiceover] All you cat lovers, now you can keep pussy AND your hsuband purring like kittens! Use it once week! VAH-VOOM! Vah-Voom is scientifically formulated to send your little stinker right over the moon, and we swear, kittly'll come back down clean as a whislte! Vah-Voom! Pick up a bottle today! Oh look at that kitty all (whoosh) clean and neat! Look at old Henry (zamm) Flew forty feet! Hurry and get some, you'll be glad you do! New Vah-Voom! It's the answer for you!
|
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Lin in Kansas Date: 25 Feb 00 - 02:25 PM I dunno...I think it's just part of the infamous cat mystique--my three are all selective about timing, it seems to me. And here's my list of Furry Children: Bat (small fierce black short-hair with amber eyes, pointy batlike face, and evil disposition--master serial killer of small shrieking things), Lonnie Sue Chaney (gray and brown tabby klutz--the only truly clumsy cat I've ever been owned by--has an incredible raccoon tail), and Bela Bruce Lugosi (gray tiger with a loving disposition for humans, a razor-sharp temper for her brothers, and is an avid proponent of decorating with body parts, particularly the living room right after I clean it). Oh, yeah, and our poor little poodle Woof, who TRIES to make the damned cats mind, but they just WILL NOT cooperate. I love being a work-at-home Mom to this crew; the only problem is, some days I speak more dog and cat than English! I gotta get a life outside this place one of these days... Lin |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Áine Date: 17 Feb 00 - 11:05 PM Ah, ain't it nice that all you newbies are carrying on a great Mudcat tradition! -- Áine |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Pelrad Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:41 PM Blue Jay, the cat shat in your SHOE?! Geez, mine have the good manners to hide it in the laundry pile. ;-) In the cases of both your cat and your dog, the cause of flatulence is probably a change in diet. It doesn't even matter if you are feeding them top of the line, break the bank food like Kat gives hers; if they are eating different food this week than they were last week, they're going to be stinky for a while. As for the shitty shoe...Was her box accessible and clean? Mine go where they please when the box gets full. Otherwise, I don't know; maybe the message was "Thanks for taking me in and giving me a lovely new home. Allow me to make your shoes more comfortable." Our cats have no flatulence problem unless they are eating cheap food, especially the canned variety (which also causes them to emit deathlumps in the litter box). Sometimes if we have switched from one brand to another they get stinky. They do fine on Purina ProPlan or the brand called 365, which we pick up for very little money in the local health food store ($1.99 for 4 pounds!). They do eat a lot less of the 365 than the tastier ProPlan, but they are beautifully healthy on both. Not that anyone cares, but it will make me happy to tell you that we have four kitties; Houdini is 10 and the newest addition (black cat, green eyes, total wimp with gorgeous siamese-shaped face. quite the yowler; he came with the house we just moved into), Lydia is our first kitty (tortoise-shell calico with yellow eyes and a half yellow-tiger and half black-tiger face, part Siamese by the sound of her, total lovey; 5 years old this coming April), ZZ the former mama cat was rescued from negligent neighbors after five litters of babies (white with black tiger splotches all over her, also a half-and-half face and green eyes and bunny-like fur - probably from consuming so many of them...She turned 5 in October but had all her babies before she was 3), and Gilbert (grey tiger with spots instead of stripes, green eyes; totally timid but hounds his chosen person -me- half to death, he turned 2 in June). Whew, I feel better now. :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Pelrad Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:41 PM Blue Jay, the cat shat in your SHOE?! Geez, mine have the good manners to hide it in the laundry pile. ;-) In the cases of both your cat and your dog, the cause of flatulence is probably a change in diet. It doesn't even matter if you are feeding them top of the line, break the bank food like Kat gives hers; if they are eating different food this week than they were last week, they're going to be stinky for a while. As for the shitty shoe...Was her box accessible and clean? Mine go where they please when the box gets full. Otherwise, I don't know; maybe the message was "Thanks for taking me in and giving me a lovely new home. Allow me to make your shoes more comfortable." Our cats have no flatulence problem unless they are eating cheap food, especially the canned variety (which also causes them to emit deathlumps in the litter box). Sometimes if we have switched from one brand to another they get stinky. They do fine on Purina ProPlan or the brand called 365, which we pick up for very little money in the local health food store ($1.99 for 4 pounds!). They do eat a lot less of the 365 than the tastier ProPlan, but they are beautifully healthy on both. Not that anyone cares, but it will make me happy to tell you that we have four kitties; Houdini is 10 and the newest addition (black cat, green eyes, total wimp with gorgeous siamese-shaped face. quite the yowler; he came with the house we just moved into), Lydia is our first kitty (tortoise-shell calico with yellow eyes and a half yellow-tiger and half black-tiger face, part Siamese by the sound of her, total lovey; 5 years old this coming April), ZZ the former mama cat was rescued from negligent neighbors after five litters of babies (white with black tiger splotches all over her, also a half-and-half face and green eyes and bunny-like fur - probably from consuming so many of them...She turned 5 in October but had all her babies before she was 3), and Gilbert (grey tiger with spots instead of stripes, green eyes; totally timid but hounds his chosen person -me- half to death, he turned 2 in June). Whew, I feel better now. :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Sorcha Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:26 PM Also, Feline Infectious Peritonitis, aka FIP, also non transferable to humans, but DEATH to a Cattery! |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Troll Date: 17 Feb 00 - 10:03 PM To the tune of "Hot dogs, Armour hot dogs..." Cat farts! Smelly cat farts! What kind of cats let smelly cat farts? Fat cats, thin cats, cats both owned and strayed; Mixed breeds, pedigreeds, even cats who have been spayed let Cat farts! Stinkin' cat farts! That last and last all night. troll |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 17 Feb 00 - 09:50 PM Avoid cheap cat food, don't let them eat brocolli, even though mine will grab it off your plate or, in one case, off the fork halfway to your mouth! And watch out, there are some very nasty and largely UNPUBLICISED viruses out there, including a feline immuno deficiency virus, known as FIV, and related to the HIV virus but not transferrable to humans. It is VERY transferrable in cats, usually one or two good deep bites will do it..... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Sorcha Date: 17 Feb 00 - 04:03 PM In all seriousness, flautulence usually has to do with diet,esp. in dogs. Table scraps should be a no no, and also high fat pet foods. Read the label on what you are feeding, and try to find something with less fat. Some animals are sensitive to specific things, just like humans. It could be horse meat that is causing the problem. Try to switch to a dry, urinary tract diet, but cats are notorious for not wanting to switch brands. Rawhide dog chews also cause this problem, and will swell in the gut and cause intestinal blockages. I give a high desity "baked bone" to my dogs. These are real bones that have been pressure treated so as not to splinter. Sorcha,not a vet |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Metchosin Date: 17 Feb 00 - 02:09 PM And I read the whole tome on the fart link too, even stooping so low as to copy the Farter from Sparta! Jeesh, whats happened to me? But I'm sure some wag will be able to come up with a tune for it. (in keepin with the prime directive) |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: BlueJay Date: 17 Feb 00 - 02:04 PM Oh yeah- The cat shit in my shoe. Is there any signifigance to that? She knows how to use the litter box. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: BlueJay Date: 17 Feb 00 - 01:58 PM Just got a cat last week- nobody told me they farted. Poor thing meowed at all the neighbors doors for a couple of days before I determined she didn't belong to anyone in the area. Not even full grown, she's really mellow, (my three year old uses her for a necklace), she was dehydrated and starving, so we took her in. It may sound ridiculous, but we got a dog the next day- we'd been planning that. But the dog farts too. Do you think they're marking their territory? A defensive mechanism perhaps. They seem to tolerate each other fairly well. Oh, well it's nice to have an understanding landlord, (originally was no pets, due to neglected Rottweilers). And it's really great to have PETS back in our lives: Sea Monkeys just don't cut it. I was thinking of an alligator, but after reading this thread... |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Amos Date: 16 Feb 00 - 02:33 PM LTS -- is he trying to tell you something? |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 16 Feb 00 - 01:31 PM It's alright for you, I have to live with the above mentioned animal and HE'S STILL DOING IT.... especially after a prolonged visit to the vet! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Amos Date: 16 Feb 00 - 09:33 AM Bud, I hear you loud and clear...I just read it my ownself. Sheeshe, what a ripe lot! A |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: GUEST,Bud Savoie Date: 16 Feb 00 - 07:10 AM I have to get a life. I can't believe I just read the entire thread on cat farts. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Banjer Date: 16 Feb 00 - 04:36 AM Gotta go there!!! What an encyclopedia...Everything you ever wanted to know but were afraid to ask! Link doesn't seem to work, but copy and paste the URL. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Stewie Date: 16 Feb 00 - 02:19 AM This may be of interest. I stumbled upon it as a link from a jazz/blues lyrics site. It seems to be exhaustive on the subject - it includes a section on animal farts, reading lists, a treasury of childhood fartlore, definitive dictionary of words for 'fart' etc. In case the clicky thing doesn't work the URL is: http://www.heptune.com/farts.html --Stewie. |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: Liz the Squeak Date: 01 Dec 99 - 02:19 PM I DO NOT HAVE A HAIRY CHEST, DO YOU REALLY NEED TO SEE THE PICTURES TO PROVE IT??? It's like how do you get rid of unwanted pubic hair? Clean your teeth.... LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Cat farts. From: catspaw49 Date: 01 Dec 99 - 08:00 AM I dunno BB....I think Squeak's problem may be more deep rooted than that, so to speak. Spaw |