BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 09:57 AM

""Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.""
Ambrose Gwinnett Bierce

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 10:07 AM

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for 'entrepreneur.'" (Dubya, allegedly, confided to Blair after a meeting with Chirac)

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Bill D
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 11:47 AM

"It puzzles me how they know what corners are good for filling stations. Just how did they know gas and oil was under there?"

"The doctors x-rayed my head and found nothing."

"Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat."

          - Dizzy Dean, former great pitcher, 'interesting' broadcaster

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 17 Aug 14 - 12:26 PM

""God, God, why did you put so many assholes in the world at the same time?" Quote from The Great Santini

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 10:54 AM

We need more of these, Kirk. Many more - said by the alien in a Star Trek Original Series episode, used whenever you have a few of something you just realized you liked.

Och, I was savin' ye - Scotty, said whenever you are about to finish something you thought you were going to have more of.

Me poor wee bairns! Pronounced "bearings" - another Scotty line, said whenever there is engine trouble. The pronunciation dates back to someone who was a strong Trek fan not knowing the word Bairn because he had always misheard this one line, in a way that made more sense.

Many other lines from Old Trek would not count as literature.

Also, which came first, the banjo quote above or the Fabulous Furry Freak Brothers' Freewheelin Franklin saying Dope will get you through times of no money better than money will get you through times of no dope? Also not literature.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,petr
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 07:19 PM

I used to be sad because I had no shoes.

and then I met a man who had no feet.

And I said, Hey? Can I have your shoes?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 07:35 PM

Bones to Captain Kirk in the 23rd century, looking at an ancient 20th century photo of a bunch of nubile young women working out:

"It's gym life, but not as we know it..."

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Mrrzy
Date: 18 Aug 14 - 11:44 PM

Boo hiss, I only got that after I had typed the rest of this post.

Back to the thread: Bones claiming to be a doctor, not a(n)...

Also, I've heard that they say you shouldn't judge a man till you've walked a mile in his shoes, and then, who cares, he's a mile away and you have his shoes!

J2B: But why all the secrecy? People are smart, they can handle it.
K: A *person* is smart. People are dumb, panicky, dangerous animals. And you know it.

Or are quotes from TV/movies literary because they are written in the script? In which case we still have much Robin Williams (man, I can't get my head around there won't be any more), and Bill Murray's wonderful "Yes, it's true. This man has no dick." in Ghostbusters, which wasn't scripted.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 03:22 AM

"If music be the food of love, why don't rabbits sing like buggery?"

Possibly either Mike Harding or Tony Capstick.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 08:07 AM

another quote from Capstick....

'Ewan MacColl and Peggy Seeger.......they say every man carries his cross around with him....'

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 08:14 AM

""A lot of people don't believe in yellow-spotted lizards either, but if one bites you, it doesn't make a difference whether you believe in it or not.""
― Louis Sachar, Holes

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 08:16 AM

""When the mouse laughs at the cat there is a hole nearby""
Nigerian Proverb quotes

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 08:18 AM

"Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 09:00 AM

If music be the food of love, get your fish and chips off my piano." [Peter Glaze, Crackerjack]

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 09:15 AM

"An incompetent attorney can delay a trial
for months or years. A competent attorney
can delay one even longer."
-- Evelle J. Younger

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 12:39 PM

"If music be the food of love, that'd better an oboe you are waving at me."

You could go on forever.

Oh shit, nearly forgot..

CRACKERJACK!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 05:00 PM

Woody Allen: "I'm not afraid of dying. I just don't want to be there when it happens."

≈M≈

More meaningful to me with every day that passes...

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Aug 14 - 06:15 PM

Don't test the water with both feet - Another Nigerian proverb.

Are proverb quotes, though, pedantically speaking? You aren't citing a source, you are repeating something that, I think, cannot *be* attributed to any one person, or they WOULD be quotes, and not proverbs?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 03:31 AM

"A hotel that doesn't serve baked beans as part of full English breakfast needs taking off the list of Whitby places to stay on the festival literature."

Musket.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: fat B****rd
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:21 AM

"The secret of a happy life is not to do what you like but to like what you do" On a toilet wall South Bank Jazz Club, Grimsby c.1966

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:27 AM

""Ninety-nine percent of the world's lovers are not with their first choice. That's what makes the jukebox play."" Willie Nelson

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 05:00 AM

Worrying is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but doesn't get you anywhere.Van Wilder Party Liason 

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:39 PM

Well if we're doing toilet walls I saw this one in the gents at the Queen Vic in Loughton in about 1983-ish: Linda Lovelace has got the nicest teeth I've ever come across

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:47 PM

""I wish I was as much of a slut as people say I am""
Courtney Love, 1995

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:56 PM

Another toilet wall one, in a cubicle this time, from Imperial College, 1969, reflecting the canteen's terrible reputation for inedible food: Shit hard - it's a long way to the refectory...

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: MGM·Lion
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 04:56 PM

Ah, well now, loo walls: I recall from long since -- late-1940s iirc, a literary-historical dispute, I take it fortuitous, in two adjacent stalls in the Men's at corner of Oxford St & Charing X Road.

One read

One would think for all this wit
That Shakespeare had been here to shit
And after all that might be true
For Shakespeare had an arsehole too

The other

A man's ambition must be small
To write his name upon this wall
For even Shakespeare did not write
When he sat down to have a shite

Yer pays yer money...

≈M≈

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Bill D
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 06:26 PM

walls? Ok...sure

"Peanut butter sandwiches are insoluble in gasoline"
             - from the wall of the Men's room at the Methodist Student Union in Lawrence, Kansas- about 1972

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 07:18 PM

""Normal is getting dressed in clothes that you buy for work and driving through traffic in a car that you are still paying for - in order to get to the job you need to pay for the clothes and the car, and the house you leave vacant all day so you can afford to live in""
Ellen Goodman

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 07:26 PM

"Divorce is a fire exit. When a house is burning, it doesn't matter who set the fire. If there is no fire exit, everyone in the house will be burned!"
Mehmet Murat ildan

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 09:04 PM

One of my physics/chemistry professors in (French) high school once quoted someone as saying, La science progresse d'erreur en erreur (science advances from mistake to mistake), which I love, but have not been able to find an attribution for... anybody know it?

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,Mrr at work
Date: 20 Aug 14 - 09:07 PM

oops that was me

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,
Date: 21 Aug 14 - 04:15 AM

Conversation overheard between cubicles in the toilets at a festival:

"Any toilet paper in yours?"

"No"

"Can you change a tenner?"

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 21 Aug 14 - 09:11 AM

"A miser isn't much fun to live with, but he makes
a wonderful ancestor. "
-- Anonymous

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 03:27 AM

Back to bog walls.

If music be the food of love, play on.
Shakespeare

Fuck
D H Lawrence

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,Silas
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 03:42 AM

It's a small world - unless you've got to paint it.

Les barker

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 11:56 AM

Hot is just cold that makes you go Aah, and cold is just hot that makes you go Ooh!

-My then 3-year old nibling now an emergency vet

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Bill D
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 12:04 PM

"Fuck"
D H Lawrence"

And I thought that was from Henry Miller!

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 01:09 PM

It was from me too, according to a rather priggish Mudcat member...

There again, If I were saying it, I'd put Philip Larkin.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Lighter
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 01:18 PM

Don't condemn a man until you've walked a mile in his shoes.

Then it's safe because he has no shoes and you're a mile away.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Musket
Date: 22 Aug 14 - 03:13 PM

Never buy a video player from a man in the street.

Who's out of breath....

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 11:35 AM

"No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used
to have quotas, but now we're allowed to write as
many tickets as we want."
-- Anonymous

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 11:40 AM

Everybody laughed when I said I wanted to do comedy...but no one's laughing now.

-Kevin Fitzgerald

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 11:54 AM

""Are you thinking what I'm thinking, that I think that you're thinking I'm thinking, because if you think that I think what I think I'm thinking,then we've got a problem?""
Unknown source

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 11:55 AM

""I understand that Scissors can beat Paper, and I get how Rock can beat Scissors, but there's no fucking way Paper can beat Rock. Paper is supposed to magically wrap around Rock leaving it immobile? Why the hell can't paper do this to scissors? Screw scissors, why can't paper do this to people? Why isn't notebook paper constantly suffocating students while they take notes in class? I'll tell you why: because paper can't beat anybody; a rock would tear that shit up in 2 seconds. When I play rock/paper/scissors, I always choose rock. Then when somebody claims to beat me with their paper I can punch them in the face with my already clenched fist and say, "Oh shit, I'm sorry. I thought paper would protect you, you asshole!"" Source unknown

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 11:57 AM

"An article should be like a mini skirt: long enough to cover everything, but short enough to keep it interesting."" Source unknown

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 12:24 PM

"Nostradamus predicted you'd be a loser."" Source unknown

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 12:28 PM

""Don't stick that out unless you're going to use it...""

Seen on a washroom wall

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 12:46 PM

More bathroom graffiti:

She offered her honor,
He honored her offer,
And all through the night,
It was on her and off her.

Frequently seen over urinals around here:

Don't look up here, the joke is in your hand.

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Ed T
Date: 23 Aug 14 - 08:53 PM

""Always carry a flagon of whiskey in case of snakebite and furthermore always carry a small snake""
W. C. Fields (Janu

Subject: RE: BS: Non-Literary Quotable Quotes
From: Bill D
Date: 24 Aug 14 - 05:40 PM

"A billion here, a billion there, pretty soon, you're talking real money."
... supposedly said by Senator Everett Dirksen on the Tonight Show with Johnny Carson.. (no direct recording exists, but the remark has become legendary)