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Jokes turned into songs...
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Jokes turned into songs... |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: kendall Date: 31 Oct 10 - 01:17 PM I looked in the DT for Over the Ground and didn't see it. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: GUEST,seth from Olympia Date: 31 Oct 10 - 03:24 PM JOhn Prine: The Late John Garfield Blues. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE BATTLE OF HASTINGS From: GUEST,Bruce Michael Baillie Date: 31 Oct 10 - 04:04 PM Here's a monologue I wrote after seeing the joke told on Mudcat... (In the Yorkshire dialect of course!) The Battle of Hastings It wor just before t'battle of Hastings, and t'protagonists wor waiting to start, King Harold wor giving some praise to his troops to try and cheer up their dull hearts. They'd had a reyt week of it so far, up to York and back they'd had to gallop, an' they'd fowt a big battle at Stamford Bridge, and given Harald Hardrada a wallop! So his army were all bloody knackered, they'd were sore in both body and foot and they hadn't had much to eyt neither, cos t'local McDonalds were shut! ...Still, Harold had picked a good site for the fray, on t'top of old Senlac Hill, and he thowt if he managed to gee up his men, 'at still lots of Normans they'd kill. He took a quick look at the Normans, they looked wicked, professional and keen, and at t'side of his mud spattered, slovenly crew, for French folk they looked fairly clean! He saw big William the Bastard, fannying rahnd on his horse, and he heard him shout summat i' Norman, that despite his poor French sounded coarse! So he turned to a man in the front rank, his big Danish axe at his side, "how stands the shield wall with you my good man?" the dauntless King Harold he cried!" "What can you do with that axe my good man?" so the chap puts his hands in his pocket, pulls out some lettuce and fennel and such like, wi' some cucumber, parsley an' rocket! He chucks 'em all up in to t'air like, and chops them all up ere they dropped, and up fills his helmet wi a nice little salad as in there each piece well it plopped! "A present my Lord!" said the warrior, "And tonight when in victory we feast, please enjoy this gift as a starter, in the hope that my honour increase!" Well the troops started cheering like thunder, "That went rather well!" thought the King, and next he strode up to a swordsman, and his praises he started to sing. "Give us a show of your skill with that blade!" so the chap he pulls out a dead rabbit! that he'd somehow managed to keep tucked away up the left sleeve of his habit! His sword it flashed upwards and outwards, reflecting the suns rays so hot, and before his eyes full of startled surprise it was skinned, chopped and dressed for the pot! "To the Victor the spoils!" said the warrior, as he lay it down by the Kings feet, "Please remember the deeds of this warrior, as tonight you sit down to your meat!" The troops now they cheered even louder, and started to jump up and down, as Harold went up to a Spearman, a big man with face gnarled and brown, "What can you do with that spear my good man, canst thou cast the thing far good and true, "Aye that I can!" said the soldier, "Just let me show what I can do!" He threw the spear up to the heavens, (it was lost for a while in the sky,) but each man held his breath as it soared back to earth, then each gave a piercing cry! for quivering there on the spearshaft, just at the Kings feet in the muck, were there if you please, three fine fat geese, a partridge and two brace o' duck! Each man in the force roared like madmen, as t' King then to t'Archers he strode, and he stopped in front of an odd lookin' chap, his face it wor t'colour o't'road! "Now then good archer!" said Harold, "why not give me a taste of your skill?" "...summat to put t'wind up them Normans!" and t'Archer said, "Reyt then I will!" Well he fumbled abaht in his quiver, and he nocked up an arrow to t'string, then he sorta let go a bit quickly, and t'arrow shot off with a spring. It shot like a bird past t'King's ear oyle, and narrowly missed his old horse, then it ricocheted back off an axe blade, and flew through the middle of his force. There were men ducking down all ovver, the buggers were diving in groups, as that arrow flew back at eye level it wor parting the hair of the troops! the thing it caused such a commotion, it wor every poor man for hissen, then it bounced off another mans helmet! and back towards t' King once again! That arrow it flew straight towards him, he could see it come straight from afar! as it sailed through the air t'tension mounted, and his men wi' one voice shouted, "Aarrgghh!" But Harold he stood there undaunted, his courage he never would yield, and it finally landed 3 inch from his heart, where he'd thankfully just placed his shield!!! "Bugger me!" whispered Harold in t'silence, his men were all in disarray, and t'archer were stood looking sorry for hissen thinkin', "Christ there'll be t'devil to pay! But just at that moment t'horn sounded, and the Normans made haste up the track, so they hastily got t'shield wall together again, and prepared to repel the attack! King Harold he frowned at the Archer, and his eye it wor steely and grim! and he called one of his Lieutenants over, and said, "I'll have a quick word about HIM!" "When this battle's over I'll tear off his ears!" he said, as up there in his saddle he sat... ,"But for now you just keep a good watch over him else, HE'LL HAVE SOME BUGGERS EYE AHT WI' THAT!" |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Genie Date: 01 Nov 10 - 01:57 AM Let's not forget The Scotsman's Kilt and the one about The Vicar And The Frog. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: THE IRISH FRENCH LETTER From: GUEST,Peter Laban Date: 01 Nov 10 - 04:47 AM I didn't go all up the thread t ocheck so forgive me if this one is already there. I heard Séamus Ennis tell this one as a joke/recitation but it's been put to music (I am not mad about the tune that was put on it though). The Irish French Letter I was up to me arse in the muck, sir. With a peat contract down in the bog When me shovel it struck something hard sir That I thought was a rock, or a log. 'Twas a box of the finest old oak, sir 'Twas a foot long and four inches wide. And not giving a damn for the fairies, I just took a quick look inside. Now I opened the lid of this box, sir, And I swear that my story is true 'Twas an ancient old Irish French letter, A relic of Brian Boru. 'Twas an ancient old Irish French letter, 'Twas a foot long and made of elk hide; With a little gold tag on its end sir With his name, rank and stud fee inscribed. Now I cast me mind back through the ages, To the days of that horny old Celt, With his wife lyin' by on the bed, sir, As he stood by the fire in his pelt. And I thought that I heard Brian whisper, As he stood in the fire's rosy light, "Well, ye've had your own way long enough, dear, 'Tis the hairy side outside tonight!" |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: framus Date: 01 Nov 10 - 08:13 PM Dear Peter The above song, more or less, was on an LP (BIG BLACK THING) that I bought about 35 years ago. It was called Bawdy British Ballads, but I can't remember who the singer was. It also had a lot of limericks and The Chastity Belt, inter alia. This one was called The Ballad of Brian Boru. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Jim Dixon Date: 12 Jan 11 - 06:24 PM The Loo Song by The Corries. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: RobbieWilson Date: 12 Jan 11 - 06:59 PM The Transatlantic Anthology of Hamish Imlach has several funny songs, for me most notably the coppers' song and including the Dundee cat. It also has one which I knew as a joke for years before I ever heard as a song "I was a Gay Spark in my Time". This was the subect of a previous thread but as far as I can see the words never made it into the DT, despite being in the thread. previous thread |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Jim Dixon Date: 14 Jan 11 - 10:07 PM THE TALKING DOG performed by the Oldham Tinkers. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Mrrzy Date: 15 Jan 11 - 09:30 AM Then there is that liar's song from Ireland, where the guy is talking about picking up some babe, and going to her place, and getting into it when home comes the husband who is Wild Bill the Wrestler, he tries to run away and falls and the guy grabs his leg... and pulls it... "don't believe this old yarn, don't believe this old line For I'm pulling your leg like he;s pulling mine Toora lay, toora lay,, wisha toorali oorali ay." |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Georgiansilver Date: 15 Jan 11 - 10:02 AM I guess not so much a joke as just an amusing song.. anyone remember this? Intergalactic laxative.... Donovan |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: GUEST,old git Date: 16 Jan 11 - 08:25 AM Keith marsden's "Ten Pints of Tetleys" is 5 jokes masterly woven into a very funny song. geoff t |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: GUEST Date: 03 Jul 11 - 07:00 PM Joe Fineman's "Destroyer Benson" is also sung (at least in the filk community) with the names slightly changed, to "Benbow" and "Kuliakowski". I understand that he originally wrote it that way, but that since the decease of both participants he has reverted to the actual names. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: DrugCrazed Date: 03 Jul 11 - 08:12 PM I humbly submit Reggaeforce. The joke make more sense in the live video. Kind of. The important information is the original - warning, it's loud and may be unexpected - and the live version (where I am very nervous because I've never played it live before). |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Joe_F Date: 03 Jul 11 - 09:09 PM GUEST: That is correct. |
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Subject: Lyr Add: SHAME AND SCANDAL IN THE FAMILY From: saulgoldie Date: 04 Jul 11 - 08:22 AM I am not sure if this was first a joke. But... Shame And Scandal In The Family In Trinidad, there was a family With much confusion as you will see It was a mama and a papa, and a boy who was grown Who wanted to marry and have a wife of his own He found a young girl, that suited him nice And went to his papa to ask his advice His papa said son, I have to say no This girl is your sister but your mama don't know
Refrein: Who, is me, shame and scandal in the family
A week went by and the summer came 'round |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Megan M Date: 04 Jul 11 - 04:59 PM The Crimson Pirates turned the barrel joke into a song, lyrics (I believe) by Don Kilcoyne: The Barrel "Permission, sir, to come aboard." "Tis granted, come up, lad And welcome to the Crimson Tide, you look just like your dad!" "He sends regards, he sends his son to follow him to sea And he asked about the barrel -- is that something I could see?" "You've heard about the barrel, boy, in every port it's told How sailors on the Crimson Tide fight loneliness and cold. Just step up to our pride and joy and raise your mast on high Now slide your dinghy into port -- a moment now -- " "Oh, my!" Just step up to the barrel Just step up to the barrel Oh, in the end, it's your best friend When you step up to the barrel Though just a lad, he'd been around and had his lady friends But his knees went weak, his eyes went crossed, he thought his life would end He'd left on shore a lady fair, the sweet and lovely Carol But nothing that she'd done to him could come close to the barrel Could come close to the barrel Could come close to the barrel Oh, every day you can have your way If you come close to the barrel "So this is what Dad whispered of when he was drinking porter No wonder he got giggles from the landlord's lovely daughter A sailor's life is not so hard, I won't be missing Carol Whenever I get lonely, I'll just step up to the barrel!" Just step up to the barrel Just step up to the barrel When in your bones, you feel alone Just step up to the barrel "There one thing I must warn you of: you don't have use on Sunday For six whole days, you can have your fun, you only give up one day." "Of course -- that's when I go to church, and sing my hymns and carols." "I'm sorry, son, you've got me wrong -- that's your day in the barrel!" That's your day in the barrel That's your day in the barrel Enjoy it now, but on the seventh day, That's your day in the barrel That's your day in the barrel That's your day in the barrel Plug away, but on the seventh day, That's your day in the barrel The Barrel at the NY Renfaire, 2008. Don sings the captain's part. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Jim Dixon Date: 03 Sep 13 - 06:35 PM Posted in another thread: An old joke about a Pullman porter and a passenger who wants to get off at Buffalo: PUT ME OFF AT BUFFALO from 1895. |
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Subject: RE: Jokes turned into songs... From: Joe_F Date: 03 Sep 13 - 11:17 PM Linda and Her Londonderry Air. |
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Subject: Turn jokes into Song Challenges From: GUEST,Grishka Date: 06 Sep 13 - 06:25 AM The lyricist of "Put Me Off" wasted the punchline, which must be something like "You should have heard/seen the guy I threw out at Buffalo!" - who must not be mentioned any earlier. What about a SONG CHALLENGE with the following rules: a joke (taken from a joke thread) is given by the jury; each contestant makes a poem or song from it. To avoid any suspicion of plagiarizing, one hour, about a week ahead, can be fixed in which all submissions must take place; the thread is closed in the meantime. Submitters who are Mudcat members and cannot post at the fixed time, may PM their entries to the jury earlier. |
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