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What if it never happened?

GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 04:20 AM
Splott Man 29 Mar 15 - 04:23 AM
Will Fly 29 Mar 15 - 04:26 AM
Roger the Skiffler 29 Mar 15 - 04:33 AM
Ernest 29 Mar 15 - 04:35 AM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 05:08 AM
GUEST,twerp 29 Mar 15 - 07:23 AM
GUEST,HiLo 29 Mar 15 - 07:48 AM
GUEST,HiLo 29 Mar 15 - 07:53 AM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 08:04 AM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 08:08 AM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 08:10 AM
John P 29 Mar 15 - 08:24 AM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 08:40 AM
Musket 29 Mar 15 - 08:50 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 11:24 AM
michaelr 29 Mar 15 - 11:28 AM
GUEST 29 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 11:45 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 11:48 AM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 12:16 PM
MartinRyan 29 Mar 15 - 12:24 PM
Ged Fox 29 Mar 15 - 12:39 PM
DMcG 29 Mar 15 - 01:00 PM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 01:05 PM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 01:08 PM
GUEST,Wee Jock 29 Mar 15 - 01:28 PM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 01:36 PM
DMcG 29 Mar 15 - 01:37 PM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 02:02 PM
Musket 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM
GUEST,pete from seven stars link 29 Mar 15 - 02:28 PM
Jack Campin 29 Mar 15 - 02:56 PM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 03:31 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 29 Mar 15 - 03:34 PM
Jack Campin 29 Mar 15 - 03:36 PM
Black belt caterpillar wrestler 29 Mar 15 - 03:41 PM
GUEST,leeneia 29 Mar 15 - 04:50 PM
Steve Shaw 29 Mar 15 - 05:13 PM
Ed T 29 Mar 15 - 05:19 PM
GUEST,van 29 Mar 15 - 05:45 PM
Bee-dubya-ell 29 Mar 15 - 09:57 PM
Elmore 29 Mar 15 - 11:03 PM
Don Firth 30 Mar 15 - 12:00 AM
GUEST,Wee Jock 30 Mar 15 - 06:58 AM
GUEST,Jon Heslop 30 Mar 15 - 07:33 AM
GUEST,M 30 Mar 15 - 07:44 AM
GUEST,M 30 Mar 15 - 07:47 AM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 07:55 AM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 08:33 AM
PHJim 30 Mar 15 - 08:48 AM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 09:01 AM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 09:02 AM
GUEST,gillymor 30 Mar 15 - 09:07 AM
GUEST,Stim 30 Mar 15 - 09:54 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 30 Mar 15 - 10:05 AM
The Barden of England 30 Mar 15 - 10:31 AM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 10:42 AM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 11:16 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 30 Mar 15 - 11:21 AM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 11:32 AM
fat B****rd 30 Mar 15 - 01:17 PM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 01:53 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 03:19 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 03:22 PM
Black belt caterpillar wrestler 30 Mar 15 - 03:59 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 30 Mar 15 - 04:35 PM
Joe_F 30 Mar 15 - 05:22 PM
Jack Campin 30 Mar 15 - 05:57 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 07:05 PM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 07:45 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 08:05 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 08:09 PM
Steve Shaw 30 Mar 15 - 08:18 PM
Ed T 30 Mar 15 - 09:25 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 31 Mar 15 - 01:44 AM
BobL 31 Mar 15 - 01:57 AM
Steve Shaw 31 Mar 15 - 03:28 AM
Ed T 31 Mar 15 - 05:10 AM
Steve Shaw 31 Mar 15 - 08:06 AM
frogprince 31 Mar 15 - 09:19 AM
Ed T 31 Mar 15 - 09:27 AM
GUEST 31 Mar 15 - 10:34 AM
Marje 31 Mar 15 - 10:38 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 31 Mar 15 - 11:09 AM
Harmonium Hero 31 Mar 15 - 11:13 AM
Harmonium Hero 31 Mar 15 - 11:17 AM
Harmonium Hero 31 Mar 15 - 11:23 AM
GUEST,Outlandish Knight 31 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 01 Apr 15 - 05:54 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 01 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM
Micca 01 Apr 15 - 03:31 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 01 Apr 15 - 03:34 PM
GUEST,ketchdana 01 Apr 15 - 04:27 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 01 Apr 15 - 04:34 PM
Ed T 01 Apr 15 - 04:51 PM
Ed T 01 Apr 15 - 05:39 PM
GUEST,Richard 03 Apr 15 - 01:23 PM
GUEST 03 Apr 15 - 02:43 PM
GUEST,Phil 03 Apr 15 - 06:59 PM
DMcG 04 Apr 15 - 02:54 AM
GUEST,HiLo 04 Apr 15 - 03:32 AM
GUEST 04 Apr 15 - 03:43 AM
Phil Edwards 04 Apr 15 - 09:15 AM
CupOfTea 04 Apr 15 - 09:59 AM
Steve Shaw 04 Apr 15 - 10:22 AM
GUEST,Tootler 04 Apr 15 - 12:59 PM
Steve Shaw 04 Apr 15 - 02:23 PM
Bounty Hound 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM
Bounty Hound 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM
Andrez 04 Apr 15 - 06:04 PM
DMcG 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 AM
Musket 05 Apr 15 - 08:12 AM
Don Firth 05 Apr 15 - 08:14 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 07 Apr 15 - 03:42 AM
Ed T 07 Apr 15 - 06:10 AM
Musket 07 Apr 15 - 06:36 AM
Ed T 07 Apr 15 - 07:01 AM
GUEST,M 07 Apr 15 - 07:39 AM
GUEST,Wee Jock 07 Apr 15 - 10:07 AM
Harmonium Hero 07 Apr 15 - 01:56 PM
Phil Edwards 07 Apr 15 - 06:23 PM
GUEST,achmelvich 07 Apr 15 - 07:27 PM
Steve Shaw 07 Apr 15 - 07:59 PM
Steve Shaw 07 Apr 15 - 08:01 PM
Roger the Skiffler 08 Apr 15 - 09:08 AM
Harmonium Hero 08 Apr 15 - 02:33 PM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 08 Apr 15 - 05:15 PM
Musket 09 Apr 15 - 03:33 AM
GUEST 09 Apr 15 - 05:09 AM
Roger the Skiffler 09 Apr 15 - 05:41 AM
GUEST 09 Apr 15 - 06:03 AM
GUEST 09 Apr 15 - 06:08 AM
GUEST,Dave the Gnome 09 Apr 15 - 01:43 PM
Don Firth 09 Apr 15 - 08:46 PM
GUEST 13 Apr 15 - 10:39 AM
Musket 13 Apr 15 - 11:56 AM
GUEST 13 Apr 15 - 06:28 PM
Don Firth 13 Apr 15 - 07:03 PM
Ed T 13 Apr 15 - 09:10 PM
GUEST,CrazyEddie 14 Apr 15 - 07:40 AM
GUEST,Warwick Slade 14 Apr 15 - 11:46 AM
GUEST,Tootler who cba to login 14 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM
Tattie Bogle 14 Apr 15 - 08:20 PM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 06:27 AM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 06:31 AM
Musket 15 Apr 15 - 07:52 AM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM
GUEST,M 15 Apr 15 - 11:45 AM
Musket 15 Apr 15 - 11:50 AM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 12:18 PM
Ed T 15 Apr 15 - 01:46 PM
Roger the Skiffler 15 Apr 15 - 03:06 PM
Ed T 15 Apr 15 - 03:12 PM
Ed T 15 Apr 15 - 03:15 PM
Steve Shaw 15 Apr 15 - 04:05 PM
Roger the Skiffler 16 Apr 15 - 04:56 AM
Musket 16 Apr 15 - 09:49 AM
Steve Shaw 17 Apr 15 - 08:48 AM
Musket 17 Apr 15 - 09:32 AM
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Subject: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:20 AM

Thing going around Facebook at the moment along the lines of "What if Elvis was not caught in a trap?" or "What if John Lennon did not imagine all those people?" I think it could work quite well, in a slightly different way, on folk songs.

What if Lord Arnold was at home?

What if I had stayed at home that May morning?

What if it was wet and miserable one midsummer's morn?

Carry on...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Splott Man
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:23 AM

What if my true love's hair was blonde?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Will Fly
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:26 AM

I never put my left foot in.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:33 AM

I never went down to the crossroads
...never went down to Louisiana to get me a mojo hand
...Gypsy woman never told my mother
...never went down to St James Infirmary
and of course
...never wok up this morning

RtS


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ernest
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:35 AM

Q: What if I didn`t wake up this morning?

A: Either a) I overslept or b) I`d be dead.

If a), I couldnt sing a convincing blues, if b) I couldn`t sing at all.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:08 AM

What if it was dull every single morning one May? What, just when he was bound to leave his Nancy, there was a sudden, protracted seamen's strike?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,twerp
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:23 AM

....and Matty Groves went fishing instead of going to church.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:48 AM

Her husband had a little courage in him! No one had a snow white steed, a berry brown sword or milk white breasts ?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 07:53 AM

Oh, and what of Clark Sandy' lover had only six brothers ?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:04 AM

What if I couldn't get to Sandgate due to engineering works on the line?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:08 AM

What if the old man discovered that he hadn't lost his ding-doorum, just mislaid it?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:10 AM

And what if the old hag had kicked me in the nuts but not actually killed me?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: John P
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:24 AM

Have you ever tried to break a ring in half? What if he just didn't have the strength in his fingers?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:40 AM

What if I told the maiden that I couldn't sow her meadow with me wanton seed right now because the garden centre was out of stock?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 08:50 AM

What if I didn't take out my ramrod and bullets likewise?

What if I didn't lay this girl down with her face to the skies?

What if...

What if Billy did weep for me?

Hang on, that was a bit tame.

Here you go..

What if she didn't lay on my big brass bed?

What if her two white breasts standing so didn't look like two white hills covered in snow?

What if we couldn't keep our shuttles in play either?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:24 AM

What if he couldn't get up and square her new loom?

and if those feet in ancient times didn't...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: michaelr
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:28 AM

What if there were no hypothetical situations?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM

and if those feet in ancient times didn't..

They didn't.

As I stayed in bed, one bright may morning...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:45 AM

Sorry - Me at 11:39 AM


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:48 AM

Damn! No it wasn't - I just posted something that disappeared and I did a wrong C&P - Sorry :-) What I said in the original was that Blake's words would not have made sense, as per the other songs. It doesn't matter whether it happened or not. And I did the May morning joke in the first post!

Sorry Guest, but thanks for trying :-)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:16 PM

Would music be different if:

North America was never discovered?
There was never any African American influence on music?
No one in the USA south ever felt a dose of the blues.
If love never existed?
If no singer/songwriter took drugs.
The drum was never invented?
No singer ever flew in an airplane.
The accordian replaced the guitar in popular music.
Yoko Ono could sing?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: MartinRyan
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:24 PM

What if the lady gay was a gay lady?

Regards


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ged Fox
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 12:39 PM

What if Blair in Athol etc. hadn't been mine? What if they'd been Fair Eleanor's?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:00 PM

What if Cecil Sharp went somewhere else for Christmas?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:05 PM

If there were no pick up trucks, jails , infidelities, love lost, or booze-would there be many country songs?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:08 PM

If there were no electric guitars, woukd folk music still be king?

What if RAP music never existed, would you care?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:28 PM

What if i never played the Wild Rover No More

Cheers

Wee Jock


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:36 PM

What if there were never any unicorns-would they sing about them anyway?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 01:37 PM

What if you mislay your half of the broken token?

Lords Bateman, Lovel, Gregory and Co just stayed at home declaring they didn't approve of this class distinction stuff and wanted to be addressed as "citizen" from now on?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:02 PM

If there was no God, how would America get blessed? Who would save the Queen? Who would have been our help in ages past? Who would only know what I'd be without you? Who would be U2's lead singer?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM

I'm sure we know some here who would feel obliged to invent him...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:05 PM

Wee Jock - Best yet :-)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,pete from seven stars link
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:28 PM

what if this thread stayed above the line......


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 02:56 PM

The Blantyre Non-explosion

By Clyde's bonny banks as I sadly did wander,
Amang the pit heaps, as evening drew nigh,
I spied a fair maiden all dressed in designer,
On Waitrose champagne she was giggling and high.

I stepped up beside her, and thus I addressed her,
Pray tell me, fair maid, why your clothes are so fine?
Wobbling and laughing, at last she did answer.
My boyfriend, kind sir, tests for gas in the mine...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:31 PM

""Who would save the Queen?""

What if Freddy Mercury was still amongst us?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:34 PM

Following the last question. What if Beelzebub didn't have a devil put aside for me?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:36 PM

What if the hero of "Whiskey in the Jar" and the heroine of "William Taylor" got their pistols swapped?

It was early in the morning, as I rose up for travel,
The guards were all around me and likewise captain Farrel.
I first produced my pistol, for she stole away my rapier,
And left the captain dying with a bullet in his liver...


She has called for a brace of pistols,
A brace of pistols was brought all there to her hand;
She fired two duds at William Taylor
And he married the bride at his right hand.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 03:41 PM

I once read an SF book called "A gap in the spectrum" which was based on someone waking up in our world, having been transported from a world almost identical but without the colour red. Think what this does changing loads of songs..
No more
Red sails in the sunset,
Red white and blue,
Lady in red....


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,leeneia
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 04:50 PM

What if a ploughboy tell in love with a rich man's daughter, and her parents said, "What a relief! A suitor who is strong, healthy and not weak in the head. Bring him on!"


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:13 PM

What if I set off to meet my love by the gasworks croft only to find that the buggers had built a Tesco on it?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:19 PM

What if Beethoven wore hearing aids?

what if Beethoven was not deaf? 


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,van
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 05:45 PM

What if it has never happened and we didn't notice


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 09:57 PM

What if .44 caliber ammunition had never been invented? It probably wouldn't have kept anyone in a murder ballad from being shot, but it would make creating rhymes about it more difficult. You ever tried to rhyme anything with "nine millimeter" without sounding like a total thug?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Elmore
Date: 29 Mar 15 - 11:03 PM

What if Sweet William told Barbara Allen to f... off?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 12:00 AM

Or if Barbara had hiked up her skirts and jumped his bones?

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 06:58 AM

This thread is getting better and better.

Cheers

Wee Jock


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Jon Heslop
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:33 AM

How would traditional ballads have worked if the month had been called"Orange" instead of "May"?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:44 AM

To Guest, Jon Heslop I'd just point out that you shouldn't believe them when they say nothing rhymes with orange, 'cos it doesn't...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:47 AM

What if something in the way she moved totally turned his stomach?

What if dragons live for ever and so do little boys? (Awful prospect)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:55 AM

If Woodstock was an indoor concert.

If Bobbie McGee decided to take a train.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:33 AM

There's a mountain in South Wales called Blorenge. It rhymes with orange. I've been up it. Good job it's not called Blapple then.

In 1979 I ran an 'A' Level biology field trip which included a visit to the Blorenge. About half way up I plunged my walking stick to the bottom of a peat deposit, declaring to the students that the depth to which my stick had penetrated represented ten thousand years of peat growth. I pulled out the stick, to find, much to the amusement of the gathering, that the ferrule was no longer on the end of it. I like to think that my ferrule might, at some point in the distant future, furrow a few palaeontological brows.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: PHJim
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:48 AM

What if Uncle Pen had played the accordion?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:01 AM

...if Bob Dylan were a one hit wonder?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:02 AM

If it rained a lot in California?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,gillymor
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:07 AM

What if the Hokey Pokey never was what it's all about.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Stim
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:54 AM

Actually, Uncle Pen(Pendleton VanDiver) probably did play the accordion, he was a multi-instrumentalist and taught his nephew, Bill Monroe, to play mandolin--his sister, Malissa, was (Bill's mother), and she sang, played fiddle and accordion, so there was certainly one in the house.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:05 AM

I'd never heard of Pendleton Vandriver until now. Tickled mas as Pendleton is an area of Salford and Salford Van Hire is quite well known.

Sorry - Just how my brain works.

What if I didn't hear the old man say John Kananka?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: The Barden of England
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:31 AM

What if the river was narrow, and I managed to stroll across?

John Barden


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 10:42 AM

My dad was once the shop manager of Burton the Tailors in Pendleton.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:16 AM

What if he let the bottle down?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:21 AM

I think I remember Burtons at Pendleton - Broad Street if I remember rightly. Bugger all there now.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 11:32 AM

He reckons he measured Stan Ogden for a suit once. Broad Street rings a bell.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: fat B****rd
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 01:17 PM

What if ...somebody knew the trouble I'd seen?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 01:53 PM

:-)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM

We regularly used to see 'Stan' in the Royal Oak in Pendlebury.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 02:26 PM

I have roller blades, what size of a Buffalo herd are you talking about?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:19 PM

When sailing in the doldrums, are you void of answers?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:22 PM

On the contrary, on really windy days (or latitudes), do answers abound?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Black belt caterpillar wrestler
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 03:59 PM

This may end up as a double post as it seemed to vanish last time I sent it.

What if the Irish Dance Instruction Book Volume 2 (the arm movements) had never been lost.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 04:35 PM

:-D


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Joe_F
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:22 PM

One thing is certain: If I don't live till I die, whiskey will kill me.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Jack Campin
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 05:57 PM

Will Fyffe made his first stage appearance in Gorebridge, a small mining village in Midlothian. What if he'd stayed there?

I belong to Gorebridge
Dear old Gorebridge village
There's nothing the matter with Gorebridge
We just like to rape and pillage

(The locals of Gorebridge, and more particularly its southern end, Arniston, are locally called "Huns". The lairds, the Dundases of Arniston, are in fact descended from Attila the Hun).


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:05 PM

If no one did it better, why did you leave me Carly?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 07:45 PM

Because you were spying on me.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:05 PM

Could we start over,if changed my name to baby purple?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:09 PM

What if God wasn't one of us (Athiest song).


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 08:18 PM

Would he have shown me something to make me change my mind had he taken me by the hand and led me through the streets of Bacup?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 30 Mar 15 - 09:25 PM

To Bacup, or nof to Bacup?

Bacup nutters 


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 01:44 AM

Speaking of Bacup, it's this coming Saturday.

What if I didn't dance in the morning?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: BobL
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 01:57 AM

What if it is going to rain some more, some more?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 03:28 AM

That would mean you were in Bacup.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 05:10 AM

So, what if I did see the rain-why do you want to know?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 08:06 AM

It's too late, baby, now it's too late...oh, go on, just another half-hour then...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: frogprince
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 09:19 AM

...if the Sloop John B never made it to Nassau...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 09:27 AM

Kisses are sweet, but sweet wine-yuk.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 10:34 AM

What if I decided to reach my true love across the Tyne using one of the 22 bridges that span it?

What if the passerby in County Down replies to me, "That maid with the nut brown hair? Sure, she's nothing but a trollop!"

What if no one asks me why I've got all this ridiculous green willow draped around my hat?

I'm enjoying this thread, keep 'em coming!

Marje


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Marje
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 10:38 AM

Woops, that Guest was me, cookieless. I am now re-cookied.
Marje


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:09 AM

I like 'em all Marje :-)

What is Sir James the Rose was innocent?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:13 AM

What if there were no such place as Blitherscrum?
What if there were no such place as Ingo?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:17 AM

.....or Gillygillyossenfeffercatsonellabowman -by-the-/Sea?
Or Glockamorra?
Not sure about the spellings, but then, how would you know?......


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:23 AM

....or Nottamun Town?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Outlandish Knight
Date: 31 Mar 15 - 11:39 AM

What if somebody had remembered to tell me that May Colvin was a dab hand at drowning blokes like me in the sea?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 05:54 AM

What if Mary married the country squire?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM

...and what if the three maidens from the Isle of Wight had a quiet night in front of the telly?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Micca
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 03:31 PM

What if Huntly had done as he was told?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 03:34 PM

Hey Micca - Not seen you in ages! Where have you been hiding?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,ketchdana
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:27 PM

If there'd never been an Ireland...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PbrL97LiEw


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:34 PM

Sorry, but I could only stand 30 seconds. I am sure someone will love it but not for me :-(


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 04:51 PM

If it were not for Frank Zappa's wise advice, would we now be ignoring where the huskies go, and eating all that yellow snow?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 01 Apr 15 - 05:39 PM

Maybe I missed it, but was the electric banana a craze/phase?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Richard
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 01:23 PM

Oh, you can keep it. It's just a ten dollar stetson.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 02:43 PM

Actual genuine Shel Silverstein song "Wreck Of The Old '49" . . .

Well, I'll sing you a song 'bout the old Forty Nine,
The fastest engine on the Santa Fe line.
On the 14th of April, she made a desperate dash,
And she got there on time and she did not crash . . .


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Phil
Date: 03 Apr 15 - 06:59 PM

What if Huddie never strayed from the fireside of right?
What if Hank never saw the light?
What if Johnny never walked the line?
What if Woody never saw the sign?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:54 AM

If we are moving off folk (whatever that is!)

What if the only man who could ever reach me was the son of a window cleaner?
What if the girl from Scunthorpe went walking?
What if I loved Frankfurt in the springtime?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,HiLo
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 03:32 AM

What if Napoleon hadn't met his Waterloo ?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 03:43 AM

This rather spoils my idea to write a song 'I Never had Sex with Monica Lewinski'


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 09:15 AM

What if Musgrave had talked his way out of it? (Your sheets? What, these sheets? And your fair lady - ah. Look, I think there's been a bit of a misunderstanding...

What if the outlandish knight had said, "You're right, it's not fitting that such a rogue a naked woman should see, but then it's not exactly fitting that I'm about to kill you, is it? Go on, drop 'em!"? What if the parrot being in the window so high, hearing the lady did say "Pretty polly! Pretty polly! Awwk!"?

What if George Collins had thought Hang on a minute, 'your life shall not last you long', what kind of an invitation is that??

What if she'd opened up a book of poems and handed it to me, written by an Italian poet from the thirteenth century, and I couldn't make head or tail of the damn thing because I don't know medieval Italian?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: CupOfTea
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 09:59 AM

What if Barbara Allen had taken a fancy to William from the get-go?

What if Sovay's darling gave into the demand for the ring when faced with sword & pistol?

What if the Nutting Girl had a quota she had to fill?

I do love this "what if it never happened" scenario, found among parody editing:
A holiday, a holiday, the first one of the year
It rained in droves
So Matty Groves
Stayed home and washed his hair.



Joanne in Cleveland


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 10:22 AM

What on earth would we all do if the bodhran had never been invented?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Tootler
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 12:59 PM

I failed to get my Mojo Working


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 02:23 PM

I can't not get no satisfaction.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

What if 'that meeting' in 1954 never happened, would we all be listening to new folk songs?

Hastily ducks back below the parapet!


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Bounty Hound
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

What if 'that meeting' in 1954 never happened, would we all be listening to new folk songs?

Hastily ducks back below the parapet!


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Andrez
Date: 04 Apr 15 - 06:04 PM

What if Morris never danced?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: DMcG
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 03:14 AM

Almost a serious question here: Are there rappers who are simultaneously rappers?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:12 AM

What if seven gypsies didn't queue in an orderly fashion for their turn?

What if John applied for university instead of getting his pit boots on?

What if Al Johnson was a pigment of your imagination?

What if the 1954 smug buggers were right and there were no new folk songs?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 05 Apr 15 - 08:14 PM

So Lord Randal looks at the bowl of eels and eel broth his sweetheart served up and said, "Gee, thanks, honey, but I'm in a real big hurry to get home right now," kissed her on the cheek, and stopped off at a Burger King on the way home....

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 03:42 AM

What if General Taylor lost the day?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:10 AM

What if the Wolfe Tones were Orange?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:36 AM

What if Master didn't call Johnny Boy?

What if Sally went round the geraniums?

What if nobody told the King of Patrick?

What if nobody had thought of putting candles in wine bottles? If pubs didn't have function rooms?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:01 AM

What if there were actually no "paradise" to be paved and turned into a parking lot?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:39 AM

What if I've got a brand new freedom to spend my pension fund as I wish and you've got loose morals and expensive tastes?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Wee Jock
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 10:07 AM

What would have happened if Sam had'nt gone away would anybody be any the wiser, we must be told.

Cheers

Wee Jock


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 01:56 PM

What if the bloke who put the bomp in the bomp-ba-bomp-ba-bomp hadn't also put the ding in the lama-lama-ding-dong?
What if the heavens hadn't cried?
What if Mama hadn't told me not to come? Or if I'd just done as I was told?
What if I'd got the bus down a fair London street, instead of walking?
What if somebody or other hadn't said, back in 1937 or thereabouts "Why don't we get together and sing these old songs before they disappear? We could call it a Folk Song Club"


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Phil Edwards
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 06:23 PM

What if the answer actually is blowin' in the wind?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,achmelvich
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:27 PM

i don't wanna live like common people like you

may you sometimes lay your head down without a hand to hold

i couldn't drink more than a couple of pints of you


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 07:59 PM

Who wants to be a millionaire?




Me.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 07 Apr 15 - 08:01 PM

Bang bang Maxwell's silver hammer came down upon his thumb.


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 09:08 AM

What if
I didn't have a hammer
Casey Jones 'phoned in sick
John Henry decided to be a lawyer
The driver of the Ol' 97 decided "the hell with the speed record, I'll slow down at the curve"
The Midnight Special shined the light on someone else
The train I ride had only four coaches
Tom Ford said to "Mr Howard". "Hold my gun, give me the hammer, I'll hang the picture".

RtS


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Harmonium Hero
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 02:33 PM

....Or Dave was a slim six-footer, or Al was a skinny bugger, or Leadfingers was Manitas de Plata, or our other Manitas had no work on, or Will had no wings, or the harmonium could fight its own battles?....


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 Apr 15 - 05:15 PM

What if Andrew Rose had become a tailor! :-)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 03:33 AM

What if a young Martin Carthy said "Bugger that. It makes my fingers sore. As for that F chord, well named.."


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 05:09 AM

mike m

what if the wheels on the bus didnt go round, now theres a thought !!


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 05:41 AM

John Henry said: "steam drill, sounds like a shrewd career move, I'll retrain, no more bloody hammer for me".
The 6.5 Special was delayed because of the wrong kind of leaves on the line.
Pretty Boy Floyd had become the face of Lynx.
"Take a walk along the banks of the Ohio? Not bloody likely".
"A room, Mr Ledbetter? Of course, come on up. Welcome to Washington".
"And Irene and I lived happily ever after".
The crew of the Irish Rover , even the dog, were rescued by the lifeboat crew.
There's a house in New Orleans called Dunromin'.
I came from Alabama with water on the knee.

RtS


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 06:03 AM

What if Ewan MacColl had never changed his name?
(Whoops! Wrong thread...)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 06:08 AM

More a case of "What if it did happen", but would Bob Dylan still have had a career if Pete Seeger had got to the power board with that axe?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Dave the Gnome
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 01:43 PM

Just inspired by another thread. What if Hitler had both his balls?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 09 Apr 15 - 08:46 PM

What if Frankie and Johnnie were both guys....?

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 10:39 AM

What if Lonnie Donegan's old man had been an accountant instead of a dustman?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 11:56 AM

What if her two breasts standing so didn't give a mental image of two white hills covered with snow?

What if all those endearing young charms didn't make up for all the scabs on her skin?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 06:28 PM

Don: Cf. http://mudcat.org/Detail.CFM?messages__Message_ID=2722584


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Don Firth
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 07:03 PM

Guest, if I'm the "Don" you're addressing, I am unable to access. Can you put it in the form of a link?

Don Firth


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 13 Apr 15 - 09:10 PM

What if Willie Nelson didn't give a hoot about the plight of farmers?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,CrazyEddie
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 07:40 AM

What if I hadn't shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die?

What if Sonny hadn't stayed at home?

What if that young cowboy, Billy, has left his guns at home; or maybe hadn't grown restless at all?

What if young Jack Duggan* had stayed in "I-err-land, in a place called Castlemaine" where he belonged?


*Doohan, Doolin, Doughan; take your pick!


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Warwick Slade
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 11:46 AM

What if it wasn't the last thing on my mind!


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,Tootler who cba to login
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 05:31 PM

The Rosabella isn't sailing today.

And anyway, we're not a deep water ship with a deep water crew


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 14 Apr 15 - 08:20 PM

What if Bonnie George Campbell HAD come home but his horse hadn't?

What if it had all been brightly lit in the dungeon?

What if Captain Kidd had had a bicycle and never sailed?

What if all the flowers had not gone anywhere?

What if my jet plane had been grounded by fog?

What if I'd never done the strip at Inverurie?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:21 AM

What if William Taylor was a fitter's mate in Ford's body shop in Dagenham?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:27 AM

What if it's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me, but the roadworks on the East Lancs Road?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 06:31 AM

Actually, I've just realised that that line scans beautifully. I feel a parody coming on...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 07:52 AM

So I thought I would leave by the M62
To St Helens by the old M6
But the queue past Warrington pissed me off
Cos they coned it off just for kicks



Your turn


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 09:44 AM

Oh fare thee well, Paddy's Wigwam and the Kop
When I return United we will goad
It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves me
But the roadworks on the East Lancs Road


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: GUEST,M
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 11:45 AM

What if my milkshake didn't bring all the boys to the yard, but instead sent them to the infirmary?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 11:50 AM

I have bought a rusty old transit van
Taxed and tested, or so they say,
And I know it's going to be a long long time
Till I get the gears in play


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 12:18 PM

Well the East Lancs Road is an owld death trap
Hair-raising right to Salford, quite a ride
My old transit van, that rusty old tin can
Puts the fear of God in anyone inside


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 01:46 PM

If we still used Roman numerals, would it have challenged some song writers and limited the use of numbers in lyrics?


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 03:06 PM

Hmmm.
"Get your kicks on route LXVI"
RtS


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 03:12 PM

:)

XCIX bottles of beer my friend...


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Ed T
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 03:15 PM

And, cry XCVI tears


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 15 Apr 15 - 04:05 PM

You trumped us all, Roger! :-)


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 04:56 AM

If the Arabs hadn't invented the zero:
"Something less than one compares 2 U"

RtS


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 16 Apr 15 - 09:49 AM

It's not the leaving of Liverpool that grieves Stevie Gerrard
But that they are worse now than when he started.

(Just about scans so Steve can join in...)
😎


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 17 Apr 15 - 08:48 AM

Yebbut two great Jordans now grace the Reds
Daniel, Joe, Raheem and Phil the genius too
There's no leaving of Liverpool for any of them
So start grieving if you back Man U


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Subject: RE: What if it never happened?
From: Musket
Date: 17 Apr 15 - 09:32 AM

I have signed on a couple of foreigners
To make Anfield roar once more
But the Saturday traffic on The East Lancs Road,
Is to Salford to watch Rooney score.



Writes itself, this bugger..


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