BS: Rap for emperor

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,The Donald
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 08:43 PM

That deal where we mixed Iridium 92 with gold was really great. Profits were 100%.

Also the Platinum like by products from old reactors has been better than a gold mine. Especially with our sales to dentists to use as filings.

We have some radioactive diamond deals that are greatest of all.

Call me when you want to deal' thanks Rap baby.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM

Ok I will ask the great potentate, or was it great potatoes.. I get so cornfused

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 03:41 PM

Oh, Dan. That's baaaad! >;-)

I nominate me for Chief Game Warden of the Empire on accounta I am game for it. Plus, I know how to poach... ahhh... I know the tricks of the trade so I can outsmart any war... ahhh... poacher. If appointed, my first act will be to hire Troy Landry to be Assistant to The Chief Game Warden, Moat Security. Troy will be more than able to ensure the gators in the moat do not cause any problems at The Emperor's Castle but we'll have to move fast on hiring Troy as his present employment is ending soon and I am sure he will sought by companies in the moat business.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 12:51 PM

No we lease the hounds, from michael Vick

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 26 Feb 16 - 12:03 PM

It's imperial potentate of purrwasion oh cousin of Kenny g

Subject: RE: BS: Ramp for enterer
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 09:00 PM

I'll just be a plain poet without a pair o' Keats or a single Shelley. And we never had a family crest that wasn't in a tube.....

Rap hasn't the Vegas notion, but like Liberace, he's an orderly sort who likes everything in its proper sequins......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:25 PM

Oh no, no, no, Severn......I wasn't thinking of a uniform uniform for all His Imperialness's subjects, just those specifically in his service, i.e. the Imperial Bodyguard, the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (or EBE), etc.

And perhaps for your good self, as Poet Parakeet? I can understand your wish to stand out from His Imperial Whatever's other subjects by your wit, so perhaps something amazing by way of headgear......something like this perhaps?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:15 PM

Was that lease the hounds, or loose the hounds ??

Oh goodness. I nearly typed, just now, Rugby Throated Hummingbirds. What ails my fingers!

Anyhow, the hummingbirds. It all depends on what you make of Las Vegas showgirls, because that's what the ruby throaters remind me of, sequins and all. Not for me to say whether or not the Emperor goes for showgirls in sequins.

Subject: RE: BS: Zap for hemperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 08:06 PM

Lime Lame, like the Young Elvis on St. Party's Night?

I don't think all your subjects need uniforms. We're not in Catholic School or anything. The Armed Services, however, could use some. I'm not sure what lime green and chartreuse camo would blend in with. Jennie sounds like one who would prefer Camel flogging to camoflauging, one who doesn't prefer to hide her charms....

However, all you Fashists, or whatever you call the fashion conscious (That would leave me out, as anyone who knows me would be the first to tell you), should submit your ideas on all this stuff. Flowers uniforms birds etc.

Speaking of birds, though, and getting back to gnu's contention that the Ruby Throated Hummingbird rules the avian kingdom rather than the Wren, try to imagine going out on St. Stephen's Day with your little box singing:

"A hummer, a hummer, is dead. What a bummer!
But we'll accept money from any comer
Although you're a lover of watching them hover....."

Awwww,enough already! You get the idea. It's just not the same. Maybe the Ruby Throat Boys should just hum tunes as they go door to door collecting money and assume people know what they're humming about, but I doubt it would prove effective.

Wrens are hard enough to catch, but you can at least stick a cork in the tiny entrance hole of one of the wooden houses folks put out in the yard for them and suffocate them. Try catching the wily hummer or even locate their nest. You could mix liquid arsenic with the contents of the hummingbird feeder in your yard and watch them suddenly plummit to the ground, I suppose....

Whaddaya think?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 06:01 PM

Your Gracious Goodness, will you be needing Our Imperial Torturer's presence on your visit to the Pacific Kingdom? I have in my possession three (3) ukuleles, a soprano, a tenor and a baritone (no castrato uke, and as yet, alas, no bass uke) so should you need something other than the Empiratical Banjo Ensemble (or EBE for short) to serenade you and Her Imperial Highness Patricia whilst boarding, sailing or embarking on your journeys I'm sure we could round up a few ukeists for the job.

Also, I have been meaning to ask......now that Your Empire is gaining a floral emblem, a state bird and a great seal, what about uniforms for your subjects? Do you have any ideas on this?

I personally myself am quite fond of lime green, and as Our Imperial Torturer feel sure that a chartreuse uniform would strike terror into the hearts of all who beheld it.

Subject: RE: BS: Rip for Armperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:11 PM

(With apologies to Tom Lewis)

Oh, Mother F*ck, bring me a duck
With beaks as sharp as razors
For him who dotes on Ruby Throats
And other such e-mailers....."

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:08 PM

Lol

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:07 PM

We lease the hounds, attack I say

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 04:04 PM

I love hummers, but the Hooded Merganser looks like a duck designed by a committee, which seems appropriate for the present regime.....

For a Ruby Throat to be truly King, he must have documented proof that he had perched on the back of the Wren who had perched on the back of the Eagle in that contest for the crown so long ago in Ireland....

Besides, I don't think that Rap wants any other legitimate monarchs around to pose any sort of threat to his seat of power. Not only could a Ruby Throat kick the ass of a fucked-up duck, I'd be tempted to give it good odds head-to-head against our Exalted Emperor....

Eh, gnu, brew? Tay?.....It's my round.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 03:16 PM

"The Hooded Merganser as the official bird."??? Fuck a duck! Nay, nay, nay!

The Ruby Throated Hummingbird is the King of all birds. Why, an Hbird could kick the living shit out of any number of ducks, Daffy or not. The Hbird is exactly what the Empire needs to strike back against the oppression of large, foul tasting fowl. Duck? Yuck! I say The Ruby RULES! Who's with me? If you are not with me... DUCK! Them little buggers got sharp beaks!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Rope for the emperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 03:07 PM

Dan DeLion. Staglee shot his brother, didn't he?

I nominate The Venus Flytrap.

The Hooded Merganser as the official bird.

The Sea Lion as the official Great Seal of The Republic.

And we need a flag design......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 02:28 PM

I would like to nominate as The Official Flower of The Empire the Chrisaanthamum... Crysanthemom... Chrys... Dandelion.

Subject: RE: BS: Reap for Grimperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 01:18 PM

"Proper Native Behavior", that is. Sorry! I type like a Ha-wino on the Dole. I'll start taking my pineapple juice straight from now on.....

Oh, and, virtuoso uke-arist that you are, don't go playing "Lava Come Back To Me" while standing on Mona Loa.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rump for apperor
From: Severn
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 01:08 PM

Maybe I need to write a book so that everybody can tell me how much better it was than the movie, and a book club choice, besides. However, I'd need money to finance either of those things. Can I get a grant from The Rappire's Council for the Arts. I was denied by the New England Council for the Auts, as I wasn't autistic enough, and they wouldn't put it on paper......(Sigh!). I guarantee that the readers will be turning pages over even faster than our Congressfolk.....

Your Royal Hyenas, please remember the probre native behavior when sailing in Hawai'i. When you're sailing away into the sunset, you turn back to the shore and cry out "ALOHA!". When you are sailing into the SUNRISE, you point your finger at the sun and cry out "DAWN, HO!"

Good luck on their submission, should they choose to accept it. They may just take you for one of those impossible missionaries......

Should we refer to our Affairs of State (along with our state of affairs) just as "Govern" until we detect proof of anything "Mental"?......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 25 Feb 16 - 12:54 AM

We will shortly proclaim more proclamations during this, Our imperial visit to the Kingom of Hawai'i to accept their submission and pledges of fealty to Us.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 12:02 PM

Lol you need to write a book, so I can club you with it Lol priceless. Can't stop laughing

Subject: RE: BS: Emp for raperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 24 Feb 16 - 11:48 AM

I thought you were Count Noah. My missed steak, though I can see the deep Dukey side of you, olddudoo. A Discount Viscount would have been my choice for you.....

If the early bird gets the worm, what does the early Duke get?.....

When you die, will you be The Late Duke Of Early or merely The Duke Of Late?......

Wouldst thou put up thy dukes against The Count Of Knight?.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Feb 16 - 07:15 PM

....of early whereabouts?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 23 Feb 16 - 06:30 PM

I am not a count, I am a duke of early

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 23 Feb 16 - 03:32 PM

On all counts?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 07:36 PM

Correct Severn

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 07:25 PM

Hey, olddude! Get a half-life.....

Does this mean I can empty out my piggy bank into a nuclear reactor and work toward tests to make us a World Power?

Any anium of yours is an anium of mine.

Remember the song "Watching Scotty Glow"? Was that Steve Goodman?.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: frogprince
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 05:38 PM

Speaking of troll booths

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 11:44 AM

In order to keep inflation down all of our coins are made of highly active uranium. This also spurs the economy by people passing them off to others as soon as they get them. That's why our economy is so strong even if some people have three ears and seven fingers. A small price to pay

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 22 Feb 16 - 11:44 AM

In order to keep inflation down all of our coins are made of highly active uranium. This also spurs the economy by people passing them off to others as soon as they get them. That's why our economy is so strong even if some people have three ears and seven fingers. A small price to pay

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Severn
Date: 21 Feb 16 - 03:45 PM

.......And worth every damn penny!

Affordable Art! Even in....uhhhh.....what are they calling the Empire's currency these days?......

I've found that, at least locally, the Empire's currency can't be passed, which bodes ill for the future. I'm swept away by this currency and am unable to reach the banks. Our treasurer informs me that they will forge ahead, nonetheless, nonethemore....

Say, who IS our treasurer, anyway? Whoever it is, Rap should make them a Count for themselves (Or a Countess, if applicable)....

Hey! How come all the various coins have different women's faces on them that all claim to be pictures of Acme? Will they get us through the troll booths? (In the Empire, we apparently get charged for passing UNDER bridges)....

A copper whatever for your thoughts......

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 21 Feb 16 - 02:55 PM

Can't stop laughing, you are priceless Severn

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: GUEST,Severn
Date: 21 Feb 16 - 02:04 PM

Reply to Famous Future Last Words----"Oui, je suis Big Mick!....". Some of us retain a bit of our first year French......Followed, of course, with a chorus of "He Ain't Gonna Reigh No More" (or even arraign)......

If they're not tan, why not call them "Orange Gerines"? They DO put the 'tang' in 'tangibles'....

Shofar?--No good! Surely, our musicians could use a good conch or two upside the head Strombus gigas, preferably. Nothing like a little shell shock to raise the general conch-iousness. As long, of course, as they don't end up sounding like Lawrence's Whelk Orchestra, or the like. Lawrence should go back to being a Floren Contractor. A band with accordians that SHOULD be banned, even "The Gossipal Accordian To Lawrence" show on Sundays.......

I'm sure Jennie will be known as "the one who put the 'dung' in dungeons" for eons to come......

Speaking of dung, someone please give me the password, or at least the rest room key, or some words WILL pass, among other things....

After that, if I'm going to Grand Fenwick, I'd better go pack my Duchy Bags.....

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 21 Feb 16 - 06:38 AM

Honey (Murcott) Tangerines are in season. Best thing in the world that you peel. Well, at least second best. I nominate them as The Official Fruit of The Empire.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 10:20 PM

Many thanks, Oh Gracious Imperial Sire!

How goes it in other parts of the Great Empire? Being stuck down here in the Imperial Oubliette, as one is, means that one misses out on happenings in the big world out there.

By the Imperial way, that was tangibles not tangerines?

Respectfully Yours,
As Ever,
Our Imperial Torturer
JenieG

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 04:18 PM

Our Imperial Torturer, Jennie G., has Our permission to use whatever is necessary to extract information and whatever else has been withheld from Us. She may ten percent of all tangibles as her reward.

Given this 20th Day of February in the first year of Our reign,

Emperor Rapparee    ®   His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 03:50 PM

Your Imperialness, I was wondering......how about an ensemble of crumhorns and sackbutts?

I was thinking such an ensemble could be useful for torturing the recalcitrant, on the principle that no one could withstand questioning under the dulcet tones emanating therefrom. It could be useful for extracting information previously withheld from Your Good Self.

Yours Respectfully,
Our Imperial Torturer
JennieG

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 03:20 PM

But the Conch is the most pure in tone while the shofar sounds like the results of a intestinal flu.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 12:53 PM

No music or noise producing instrument is permissible save for the banjos in Our dungeons and that Instrument Of God, the trumpet and its relatives such as the bugle, shofar, lur, cornet, and flugelhorn. No others are permitted without a license granted by Us. Those desiring such a license must entertain Us and Our Court for not less that two continuous hours with no more than two off-key or other false notes offending Our hearing.

Given this 20th day of February in the First Year of Our Reign,

Emperor Rapparee ® His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: David C. Carter
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 11:28 AM

It was bodhrans

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 12:30 AM

However   I recall a ban on accordions or was it a band

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 20 Feb 16 - 12:06 AM

We will shortly be taking bookings for a tour of the Imperial Dungeons, with the proceeds going straight into the Imperial Coffers (not coffins, you ignorant peasants/pedants) in order to further His Imperial Goodness Gracious Rapparee's munificence to his subjects.

We can guarantee an ear-splittingly finger-wrenchingly good time!

BYO banjo optional. For those who don't have access to such an Instrument of the Gods, some will be available for hire at a modest cost. We won't be asking an arm and a leg.

To book, please reply to [e-mail]. Please have credit/debit/Christmas card details ready.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gillymor
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 11:07 AM

Somebody better tell Harpo.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 10:30 AM

Please note, the password swordfish not longer works due to the grand exhaled emperor bequest

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Feb 16 - 09:39 AM

We have designated the phrase "Emperor Rapparee Is My Lord And Master And Always Will I Follow His Wise Dictates" as the base for the password, which is "ER!ML@MAawIFHwD." This may be disseminated widely, as Mistress Jennie G. awaits those who befoul this Our realm.

Note ye well, We have put the base phrase and the password in the unbreakable code developed by those worthy denizens of MOAB so that We may pass it on to you.

Given by Our fingers this day the 19th of February, in the first year of Our reign,

Emperor Rapparee ® His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: olddude
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 11:31 PM

I agree with big mick, please note not big dick but mick.. Get it right peasants.. Oh yes

Did you try using the password Severn... I bet not.. It's not just the knocking. Or the girl the emperor knocked up.. But the password has to be used

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Donuel
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 09:40 PM

future famous last words


Et tu Big Mick?

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: Rapparee
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 09:28 PM

Big Mick is and has been the Successor to the late Spaw, and has been the Person In Charge Of Kicking Ass And Taking Names (PICOKAATN) for quite some time. You will address him by his Title and Name: Picokaatn Big Mick SIR!.

We have spoken.

Emperor Rapparee ® His Mark

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: gnu
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 05:52 PM

But, who will be in charge of Takin Names and Kickin Ass? Spaw ain't around no more... he was the best ever. I think it should go to someone with his spirit in the FUCK YOU and the white horse you rode in on you broke dick mamaluccas department. Maybe Big Mick? Now, there's a guy who can, and has, kicked some serious ass. I dunno. Help me out here.

Subject: RE: BS: Rap for emperor
From: JennieG
Date: 18 Feb 16 - 04:45 PM

Gee thanks, Your Imperialness!

Mwaahaahaahaa.......come into my dungeon, my pretties.....

plink....