BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]

Subject: BS: Sick. Really Sick.
From: Greg F.
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 01:25 PM

The N.R.A. "Reimagines" Classic Fairy Tales, With Guns

By Liam Stack, New York Times
March 26, 2016

The world of make-believe can be a scary place, but never fear: Thanks to a series of "reimagined" fairy tales published online by the National Rifle Association, classic characters like Hansel and Gretel are now packing heat.

The group has published two of the updated tales on its N.R.A. Family website in recent months, entitled "Little Red Riding Hood (Has a Gun)" and "Hansel and Gretel (Have Guns)." In the stories, each of the young protagonists (and one grandmother) is transformed from a victim into a hero with the help of a gun.

Article Here

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 02:03 PM

As I remember, in Little Red RH a "hunter" or "woodsman" came in, cut off the wolf's head with an axe or otherwise killed the wolf, and Grandma jumped out. Everyone lived happily every after (except the wolf).

Pretty gory story.

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 02:38 PM

Those might be a bit of a laugh to look at,
but might invite accusations of unoriginality and plagiarism
as daft hollywood low budget cult & bigger hollywood movies have already done this to death and beyond...

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 04:01 PM

Well, at least they didn't kill that poor wolf. They just tied it up and disposed of it in what I assume was an ecologically sound manner.

Geez, I have grade school age nephews and nieces who can write better than that.

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 04:13 PM

Read it...

they missed the bit when Red and her granny were so stoked up with adrenalin after pulling guns on the wolf
that they started drinking granny's home brewed fruit schnapps
to celebrate and calm their nerves...

Several hours and bottles later Red and Granny started to bicker over a petty long forgotten family dispute,
and after a few more drinks the row escalated until granny blew Red's head apart
redecorating the cottage fireplace and ceiling...... 😜

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Jack Campin
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 08:12 PM

When are they going to get round to updating the Passion story from the Gospels? Jesus really spent those forty days in the desert practicing at a firing range.

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 08:59 PM

Right. And when the crowd came for him that wasn't a ear that was cut off -- JC and the boys pulled out ARs and let 'em have it, but they ran out of ammo. I can take this into real blasphemy from here....

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: LadyJean
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 11:43 PM

Roald Dahl wrote a book called "Revolting Rhymes", in which Little Red Riding Hood shoots the wolf and makes it into a coat. I think she does in at least one of the three little pigs too. But Dahl was being funny.

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: JenBurdoo
Date: 26 Mar 16 - 11:56 PM

Didn't both of those stories end with the kids dispatching the villains on their own, with their own wit and courage, and without the help of a gun?

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 01:00 AM

James Thurber wrote a very short piece about Little Red Riding Hood, and this link has that short piece and the Roald Dahl poem as well.

(Moral: It is not so easy to fool little girls nowadays as it used to be.)

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Bugsy
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 03:31 AM

OOOOOOOOOH! For FUCK's SAKE!

Bugsy

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 05:09 AM

I can't even look!

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Charmion
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 01:13 PM

Where are the doctrinaire feminazis when we need themÉ

If I recall correctly, Gretel is the hero of Hansel and Gretel. She keeps Hansel alive by advising him to postpone his date with Baking Day by offering a chicken bone when the witch wants to feel of him to see how short his flesh is, until the day Gretel can get in there and stage the great Cage Break. Then, under Gretel's capable leadership, the children lure the witch into the bakehouse, shove her into the oven and slam the door on her, resulting in an extra-large batch of Long Pig Barbecue. The story should be called Gretel and Hansel, in my admittedly arrogant opinion.

Little Red Riding Hood, channeling her inner Goody Two-Shoes, follows the advice so often given to children to "find a grown-up" and delegates the wolf-killing task to the Woodsman (or Huntsman in some versions), who then capably does the deed.

The presence of firearms in either story would deprive the protagonist of an opportunity to demonstrate grrrlpower. That would be bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Sick. Really Sick [NRA Fairy Tales & Guns]
From: Jack Campin
Date: 27 Mar 16 - 01:30 PM

The NRA version of Cinderella would presumably have the sisters shooting themselves in the foot.