Thoughts? - Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid

Subject: Thoughts?
From: GUEST,Ferrari
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 09:03 PM

Just published my first sit down recording of a song I wrote, please let me know what you think!

Cheers :)


The Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid

Subject: RE: Thoughts? - Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 Jul 17 - 10:09 PM

Hi, Matthew -

It doesn't really follow the traditional style that is my preference, so I don't know how valid my opinion can be. It's certainly an interesting effort, and I liked the back-and-forth between the singing and the harmonica. The story told by the song didn't totally catch my interest, but it's a good start.
-Joe-


BALLAD OF OLD BONE AND THE BARMAID
(Matthew Ferrari)

Guitar, Vocals and Harmonica by Mathew Ferrari

The sun is setting, I'm not regretting
The last eight hours I worked and now I'm betting
That tonight will be a night to remember
Was it in January or December?

We went to a bar that my work was near
It was tiny, I thought I had nothing to fear
Well, overall I guess I was right
It was the barmaid that got into a fight

A woman blew in with the cold
A bony thing she was so young but so old
She entered screaming with booze on her breath
Her clothes were ragged and her hair was quite the mess

Barmaid was kind she wanted to help Old Bone
But was reluctant when Old Bone cried "Give me a phone"
Barmaid reached to her purse yearning to return
To the two strapping lads with money to burn

Phone call went bad, Bone got sour
Wasn't even there a quarter of an hour
An old man shook his head after paying his debts
All of this on a quiet street in the west

Old Bone screamed and began to rattle
We had no idea she was preparing for battle
She charged at Barmaid grunting like a boar
Old Bone and the Barmaid rolled on to the floor

To sum it up, to say it all
I watched a tiny barroom brawl
I haven't seen Old Bone again yet
In that tiny bar on a quiet street in the west

Subject: RE: Thoughts? - Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid
From: GUEST,Ferrari
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 12:27 PM

How was the recording? Were the vocals too loud?

Subject: RE: Thoughts? - Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid
From: Joe Offer
Date: 09 Jul 17 - 09:39 PM

Hi, Matthew -

Musically, I liked the song quite well. The voice and guitar and harmonica were all balanced quite well. I hate recordings where the instruments overpower the voice, and this recording didn't do that.

But as I said, the story told by the song did not capture my imagination, and that's a problem.
I watched a few other videos you did. The guitar work was good, but I couldn't understand the vocals at all. Maybe it would be a good idea to take a few lessons from a voice instructor. I did that, and I found it helped my singing a lot.

-Joe-

Subject: RE: Thoughts? - Ballad of Old Bone and The Barmaid
From: GUEST,Ferrari
Date: 10 Jul 17 - 02:05 PM

Thank you, Joe, I really appreciate the feedback. :)

I have some work to do.

Cheers!


Ferrari