BS: It's poo time again!

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: keberoxu
Date: 17 May 18 - 01:10 PM

Results normal.
Next test in three years.
Over and out.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:24 PM

I've just had a deja poo...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: keberoxu
Date: 08 May 18 - 04:19 PM

There's an echo in here. I heard something twice.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 08 May 18 - 02:34 PM

..better not mention trumps then...

another family favourite word when I was a kid...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 May 18 - 02:12 PM

For one thing, it is highly disrespectful towards Winnie the Pooh, whom I hold in high regard.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 May 18 - 02:12 PM

For one thing, it is highly disrespectful towards Winnie the Pooh, whom I hold in high regard.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 May 18 - 01:45 PM

Joe sez: Yeah, my wife uses "pooh" also. Makes me gag

Dave the Gnome sez: Would you care to rephrase that Joe? :-D

Joe replies: Nope. 'Twas intentional....

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 May 18 - 01:23 PM

Me grandad were a Salford lad through and through.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 08 May 18 - 01:19 PM

..and mine..
My mum's side of the family were evacuated from Brum during the war,
their extended family eventually settling in Scrumpyshire...

It was a firm favourite word of my grandad and my uncle [his bro in law]..

Is cack regional to the midlands...???

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 08 May 18 - 01:13 PM

Cack was my grandad's word for it. Very onomatopoeic.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 08 May 18 - 10:02 AM

Snort pepper... I massively violent sneeze should clear both simultaneously...!!!

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 May 18 - 08:45 AM

'Bunged up' is the one that I suspect causes a lot of confusion. Is the patient suffering from a head cold or constipated?

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 May 18 - 07:05 AM

Somewhere I've got a little book produced for doctors, especially those from other countries, giving all the terms that Englishpeople are liable to use. "In the club" or "up the duff", for pregnancy, for example.

And it’s careful to identify the expressions doctors need to understand, but which it’s better for them not to use. That's to guard against having a doctor say things like "how is your pissing, Mrs Jone?"

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Mr Red
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:43 AM

as long as you don't share the pooh...........








I'll get my kit.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:26 AM

It's also amusing the words we feel obliged best to use
when discussing such functions with doctors and nurses..

I can't think of any other time or circumstances when I'd call a turd a 'stool' or 'faecal matter'...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:25 AM

Yeah, my wife uses "pooh" also. Makes me gag

Would you care to rephrase that Joe? :-D

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 08 May 18 - 05:16 AM

Fortunately my wife shares my views about the word. Or maybe it’s me who shares her views.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 08 May 18 - 01:04 AM

Yeah, my wife uses "pooh" also. Makes me gag, but I think it must be a wife thing that comes with the marriage certificate...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 07 May 18 - 11:42 PM

There is a word even more crap than poo... 'poop'...!!!!!

'Poo' is the new infantile Orthodoxy imposed by folks in authority like my mrs
who work in education with primary school children...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 07 May 18 - 08:15 PM

"Poo". I hate that word. Call it shit, call it crap, call it faeces, call it whatever family term you like - but "poo" just irritates me. And yet it's the word they always use when the BBC gets round to mentioning it.

I always make a point of asking for the test kit; they seem to have a policy of not sending it automatically once you pass a certain age. I don't think that's anything to do with you being less liable to get bowel cancer, I suspect it's rather that you seen as more disposable.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Joe Offer
Date: 07 May 18 - 04:46 PM

Keberoxu, I'm glad you used care in delivering your "sample."

My ex-wife used to work in a medical clinic where patients would regularly drop urine samples through the mail slot in the front door (despite instructions to the contrary). What do you do with the mail when a bottle of urine breaks on top of it?

-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: keberoxu
Date: 07 May 18 - 03:48 PM

Yes, the kit has sat in my apartment for all those months (my earlier post to this thread). Still valid, though, the expiration date is a long ways away.

So now have kept my personal promise to post to this thread
once the dirty deed was done.

Did it this morning, the first time I have used that
"ColoGuard" kit which one's doctor must prescribe
and then direct the company to send directly to the patient.
Followed all the directions to the letter.
Then, for my own peace of mind,
drove the parcel myself to the great big UPS Customer Center in the suburbs, where the nice man in the uniform
knew exactly what to do ... didn't cost me at all, the shipment.

Of course, the kit people are going to bill me. That's expected.
Then the results will get to my physician
on time for the next annual checkup. Think "normal."

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 05:46 PM

?????

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 05:35 PM

Well what he saw wasn't "the most common." Keep digging.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 04:48 PM

This may no longer be correct, but an old guideline informing my poo inspections
is to look for darker coloured blood potebtially indicating more serious problems...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 04:01 PM

The most common causes of visible rectal bleeding are hemorrhoids or anal fissure. Some other conditions that cause rectal bleeding are polyps, colitis, diverticulitis and rarely colon cancer. Of course any sign of rectal bleeding should be investigated.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 01:39 PM

"Useless, note the word occult in the name of the test."

It would be very nice if you desisted from disagreeing just for the sake of it. As a matter of truth, the person I mentioned who passed the test who then was diagnosed a few months later discovered the problem precisely by looking down the loo. He's alive and well today because he looked down the loo. That's how "useless" it is. Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 01:13 PM

Years ago I had a couple of "sigmoidoscopies" (lower regions only). All seemed fine. Then got under a good health plan (KaiserPermanente) and did the standard "send in your sample" bit a couple of times. Finally, several years ago, they called me to schedule a full colonoscopy.... 2 days of drinking stuff to clean me out "from the top down" rather than "from the bottom up", then to their team for the procedure.
It was explained that "it would be pretty uncomfortable during the procedure, but that I wouldn't remember it afterwards.(some sort of new drug).... It was also explained that IF they see anything suspicious, they would take small 'snips' for biopsy.
Well, the memory thing worked fine... I had no memory of the actual procedure. They did snip several 'interesting' spots for examination, and gave me actual pictures of the offending spots.... which turned out to be only 'possible future concerns'. I thought I was home free........ then next day, near bedtime, I used the toilet and found blood! Off the the emergency room in the middle of the night!
"Hmmmm... they said," We'd better monitor this. You will probably need to be admitted." and thus began the longest night I ever spent, lying on a gurney in the emergency room, hooked up to an IV drip and needing to pass a buildup now & then.....except that it was a quiet night in the E.R., and they mostly didn't check on me....except for early on, one young man, probably practicing writing a paper on "degrees of pain", who decided to "do a rectal" to see IF I actually had a problem. He put on a glove, and I'm sure no lubricant, inserted his finger in a manner which left me gasping with discomfort. "Yes," he said definitively, "there's blood there, all right." After him, they just ignored me until morning. Turned out they couldn't find a room for me until shift change when the day staff could do it!
   So.... I was taken up to a room, where I was given a bedpan and passed enough blood clot to pique their interest. I was then sent to a specialist in some deep basement labyrinth where they had me drink radioactive stuff and lie VERY still for an hour while a huge machine hummed and took pictures of my nether regions from every possible angle. (the technician actually played classical music.. a string quartet... to pass the time)
   Back to my room, I was given a sleeping pill for my 2nd night, but was waked twice for blood transfusions! Yes, there HAD been "blood there all right"
    Finally, late afternoon on the 2nd day, they decided I had stopped bleeding and was allowed to go home.... but after calling my wife to come get me, I waited for the required wheelchair person to take me to the lobby... and waited... and waited... Finally, I wandered down the hall till I found a nurse who put in a call to 'patient services', and I got out of there!
    When first scheduled for the colonoscopy, they said the if there were NO problems, I'd not have to do it again, but if they found 'items of concern', I'd be asked to repeat it "in a few years".
    IF they call, I'll say, "Sorry, I can't afford it." They will say, "There's no charge for the procedure... it's covered in your health plan." I will reply, "You cost me 2 days of prep, 2½ days in the hospital, 2 days to get back to semi-normal, all of which meant loss of work time... and a $250 bill for the hospital stay!"

   I **think** that if they want to do this again (soon now, I'd suppose) I will ask for a written promise to NOT do any snipping and merely inform me if there are any 'areas of interest'... and we will discuss my options!

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 06 Jan 18 - 08:54 AM

I know someone who passed the test who was diagnosed with bowel cancer a few months later.

The chemical fecal occult blood test picks up a daily blood loss of approximately 10ml.

a) A tumor may not be bleeding.
b) A tumor may be bleeding but not enough to detect.

Still worth looking down the loo every now and then.

Useless, note the word occult in the name of the test.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: wysiwyg
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 10:37 PM

US docs are coming along nicely on the home testing approach, where lowish risk factors warrant, as a first screening method. There's some good info out there on how colonoscopy has become quite the racket, so some folks are declining the invasive approach when it makes sense. In my case cost was a factor. The smear test is no ickier than dealing with a sick cat or a pooping baby and largely requires forethought more than courage.

~susan

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 07:02 AM

Still worth looking down the loo every now and then. I know someone who passed the test who was diagnosed with bowel cancer a few months later.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Stanron
Date: 05 Jan 18 - 06:18 AM

It gave me a new view on poohsticks. Just got my results back, normal. That's it for the next two years.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 08:25 PM

There's only one awkward geezer here, pfr. I'm moving on. Well, bobad has actually been two awkward geezers at once in this forum, but this isn't the time or place... over and out!

Let's just keep talking shit...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 07:56 PM

Nah, it's just Shaw and his overblown ego, can't ever admit to be wrong about anything.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 07:51 PM

Proof that 2 awkward old geezers can sit on a park bench, see a random turd on the pavement, then immediately start a row about it...!!!

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 07:39 PM

Lol, Shaw comes out of left field with a totally irrelevant comment that has nothing to do with the discussion and gloats as if he has scored a point. Always trying to count coup eh Shaw.......pathetic.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 07:15 PM

Wiki:

"The Canadian Cancer Society recommends that men and women age 50 and over have a FOBT at least every 2 years."

Just sayin'. Over and out with you on this one.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 06:49 PM

HERE ya go, inform thyself.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 06:30 PM

If you say so. The jury's out on your "more sensitive screening test" over the older occult blood detection test as a mass screening method. The last I heard, Canada was recommending the same screening system, more or less, as the UK.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 06:14 PM

Someone mentioned aspirin: not talking about it being possibly protective, but in his case led to earlier manifestation of symptoms, as his early malignant lesion bled sooner than it might have done, had he not been on aspirin.
Oh yes, I've also been there, had the upper and downer, all clear, thankfully, but who has made the T-shirt?

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 06:11 PM

Note I said there is a more sensitive screening test that, if you care to investigate (you are after all a scientist lol), has greater sensitivity and specificity than the one that requires three samples, therefore is more reliable (which means fewer false negatives and/or positives).

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 05:55 PM

"Three stool samples" drastically reduces the chances of false negatives.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: bobad
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 05:27 PM

What happens in States and Canada?

Canada has had universal health care since 1966. There is a more sensitive screening test in use here that requires only one stool sample.

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 03:40 PM

An arse like a half-chewed blood orange, as one of my fellow sessioneers once described his personal issue...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 02:53 PM

"We are so lucky to have it available for free, and delivered to your door automatically when you hit 60 and every couple of years onwards.
"

I'll be 60 in just over a year... something to look forward to then....


..actually I've already had most of the invasive internal inspections, examinations, tests, etc, at regular intervals since I was a kid..
A history of irritating bowel problems - so far benign;
but bloody uncomfortable, even excrutiatingly painful, at times......

As a child my arse looked so bloody from thrombosed piles, you'd think I'd been to public school, or a choir boy....

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 02:45 PM

I suppose if she was feeling a bit flush she could change stools.

The nurse who shaved me prior to my snip was a young pretty thing.

"Will you just hold it out of the way please" she asked

"No need, it is doing it all by itself..."

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 02:37 PM

I spoke to one of the people who analyse the samples a while back and asked her if she enjoyed her work.

"Not really," she replied, "Most of the time I'm just going through the motions..."

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Keith A of Hertford
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 02:14 PM

We are so lucky to have it available for free, and delivered to your door automatically when you hit 60 and every couple of years onwards.

What happens in States and Canada?

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 11:25 AM

Well I've had two colonoscopies and the question of anaesthetics never arose...?

It's amazing that you can be given permission to fart at will into the face of a nurse eight inches away...

When I had my vasectomy done the most gorgeously beautiful nurse in the whole wide world was in attendance. Not actually taking part in the procedure, just there to admire, I suppose...

Or not...

Subject: RE: BS: It's poo time again!
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Dec 17 - 09:09 AM

It was discovered that people who take aspirin regularly had half the incidence of colon cancer.
I had the full schmear of a swallowed camera pill and scopy.
The premiere of the movie got 27% rotten tomatoes.