BS: Irish jokes!

Subject: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:45 AM

An Irishman was smoking outside the door of a UK pub.
A policeman approached him and said that he had to be at least 6feet from the premises he was drinking in when smoking.
Paddy said "It's okay, constable. I'm drinking in the bar across the street."

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 04:39 AM

Let's see how far this racist attempt at a wind-up gets before a forum fairy puts it where it belongs
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 05:42 AM

Hahaha Jim, you beat me to it!

Bonzo, those sort of jokes are avoided nowadays. We Irish (well, I'm half Irish) don't appreciate being mocked as stupid and thick.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Ernest
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 05:59 AM

copied from the 2017 joke thread:

"Date: 06 Apr 17 - 12:09 PM

German industrialist in a bar sstands up to walk ot and falls flat on his face
The barman looks up and says "Schindler's pissed"
Jim Carroll "

So you are a racist, Jim?

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 06:14 AM

The barman looks up and says "Schindler's pissed"
can you explain what is the slightest bit racist about that? - in the mind of a racist maybe
IN YOUR HEAD....
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jos
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 06:18 AM

The joke would be just as effective, maybe more so, without the drinker being Irish. To remove the racism, and avoid accusations of 'gender bias', it could be:

'A group of people were drinking outside the door of a UK pub ... A police officer approached them ...'

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 07:00 AM

My protest was based. not so much on the joke, which was not particularly funny, not particularly offensive, but on the intention it was put up
Bozo is a somewhat mindless wind-up merchant whose 'very small brain' restricts him to making outrageous remarks to get people at each others throats
Racism is popular ploy with him, as is a fatuous dispay of assumed superiority
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 07:31 AM

Well, if Bonzo likes winding people up, there's no reason why he can't do it. It's a rather easy game to play I would have thought.
And we're not at each other's throats (not yet anyway!)
Jos is right, one can remove the 'Irish' and 'man' from the joke and make it PC.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 07:42 AM

The joke bit of it has already been removed...

:D tG

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 08:12 AM

interesting!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:08 AM

We have B'zo who enjoys winding people up, and then, we have people who enjoy being wound up. Seems consensual.

The first "Irish" joke has nothing to do with "Irish". The thread title was intended to poke vulnerable people, and was slightly successful.

The joke wouldn't have been less funny as:
A person was smoking outside the door of a pub.
A police-person approached them and said that they had to be at least 6 feet from the premises they were drinking in when smoking.
The person said "It's okay, constable. I'm drinking in the bar across the street."

(I took the liberty of fixing the gender specificity. You're welcome.)

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:16 AM

The title that Bozo chose for the thread says all that needs to be said about his objective
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:18 AM

And the fact that you were the first to respond, lets him know he hit his target.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Georgiansilver
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:44 AM

Senoufou... this ones for you!.
Two English guys walk into an Irish pub. One goes to the bar, orders drinks and says to the barman 'Hey Mick, did you know that your Saint Patrick was an Englishman' ?. The Irishman being wise, played it down by saying ' To be sure sir, I didn't know that!'. English went back to his seat and told his friend he had tried to wind up the barman but had failed. 2nd Irishman goes to bar half an hour later. Says to the Irish barman, 'Did you know that your Saint Patrick, was the thickest idiot that ever lived'~? The wise Irish barman replied ' To be sure sir, your friend already told me that!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: meself
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 11:05 AM

Would anyone mind if I start a thread about jokes about Black people? I remember some from my childhood - they seemed funny back then ....

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 11:37 AM

If you did that, people might have the same opinion of you that they have of Bonzo.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 12:10 PM

"And the fact that you were the first to respond, "
Thought I might nip it inthe bud
Mea culpa
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:22 PM

Well I dived in as well, just after Jim.

Georgiansilver, don't forget I'm half English too! hee hee

I well remember in my Uni days giggling like anything at various very rude 'Rasta' jokes. (Wasn't his lady friend called 'Liza?) and watching the Black and White Minstrels (who were boring but my parents liked the old songs)
Nowadays, stereotype-jokes are avoided, and perhaps it's for the best.
I like a good laugh, but I'd never want to offend or upset anyone.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:35 PM

My favourite foreigner joke, harmless to boot!

I was at the Olympics and I met a bloke carrying a very long stick.

"Are you a pole vaulter?" I asked him.

"No, I'm a German, but how did you know my name is Walter?"


(It's a shite joke unless you pronounce "Walter" in German, by the way)

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:43 PM

Perhaps I should have just posted a gypsy joke!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:47 PM

40 gypsies arrive at the gates of heaven and St Peter walks up to them and says "there is only room for 12 of you so discus with each other who is coming in".

A little while later St Peter goes back to God - "they have gone" "what!? all 40!?" God shouts out in rage and St Peter replies "yep and so have the gates"

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Iains
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 01:52 PM

No doubt the touch paper is now glowing!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:02 PM

Yes! Stand well clear...!!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Ernest
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:02 PM

Jim, it must be in your head...

you are trying to tell me that a joke about a drunken Irishman is racist while a joke about a drunken German is not.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:04 PM

A man with tall trees in his garden decided to have them cut down, so he put a notice on his gate - Tree Fellers wanted. An hour later 3 Irish men walked by the notice and knocked on the man’s door. When he opened the door, one of the Irish said “you’re looking for tree fellas so here we are” !!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: meself
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:06 PM

There is nothing remotely "racist" about that German joke, Ernest - as you well know.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:06 PM

Hoops, people. It's not compulsory to jump through them.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:08 PM

"you are trying to tell me that a joke about a drunken Irishman is racist while a joke about a drunken German is not."
Of cours it's not if the nationality of the character has no bearing on the joke
Do you really not know who Oskar Schindler was?
It's a ****** pun - "Schindler's List" - Schindler's pissed
Not as funny when you have to explain it to eeits
Jeeze
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 02:50 PM

"Hoops, people. It's not compulsory to jump through them."
No - but it's fun - for a time
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 03:25 PM

Oh show me a hoop and through I leap! What is life if one can't jump through some hoops?

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 03:46 PM

You must be fitter than me, Sen! ??

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 03:54 PM

Heh heh Backwoodsman. Nah. My husband says I'm very out of condition, due to far too many crumpets with butter. And there isn't a hoop large enough to go over my...er...rear end.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 04:26 PM

LOL! That conjures up quite an image... ????

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Joe_F
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 06:33 PM

Pat, a strapping young Irishman, goes to a construction site & inquires about a job that he has seen in the want ads. The foreman frowns: "This isn't a job for common laborer. You have to have the knowledge. You have to know a joist from a girder." "Sure and I have the knowledge," says Pat, "Joist wrote Ulysses, and Girder wrote Faust."

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: mg
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 08:28 PM

I did not find the first Irish one offensive. I find the reference to Schindler's list offensive...I can't bring myself to chuckle at the Holocaust.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 10:50 PM

An old one, but a good one: Leigh anois go curamach ar do scrudphapeir na treoiracha agus na ceisteanna a ghabhann le cuid Á.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Rapparee
Date: 01 Feb 18 - 11:12 PM

Bhí Pádraig agus Michéal sa teach tabhairne ag ól agus bhí siad go maith. Bhí siad ag feachaint tríd an bhfuinneog ar an teach transna an bhóthair. Teach flapachain b'ea é.

Thánig duine nó béirt, ó am go ham, agus tríd sa doras t¡ leo. Ansin chonaic Pádraig an tUrramach Protastantúnach ag teacht agus isteach sa teach leis.

"An bhfuil sé gan náire, fear Dia mar sin?", arsa Michéal.

Ansin tagann Raibi Giudach agus isteach sa theach leis.

"An bhfuil sé gan náire, fear Dia mar sin?", arsa Pádraig.

Ó bhí sé ag éirí deanach, d'éirigh Pádraig is Michéal, d'fhág siad síneadh láimhe, agus amach leo.

Ansin chonaic siad an sagart ag teacht agus isteach sa teach leis.

"Is trua sin", arsa an bhéirt. "Is doigh liom go bhfuil duine de na caíliní bochta istigh tinn. Tá an sagart ag dul a cuir Óla Dheanach uirthi."

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: DMcG
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 02:16 AM

Brilliant, Rap, that really made me laugh.

And I don't understand a word of them.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 02:53 AM

Aaaaggghhhhh!

The Schindler joke is neither racist nor anything to do with the holocaust. it is a pun. A play on words. List/Pissed.

As I often comment, it seems some people speak a different English to others. If nothing else this thread may help to highlight that fact.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Bonzo3legs
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 03:16 AM

Who is anyone to pontificate that a joke is racist??? The whole point is to make people laugh.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 03:30 AM

" I find the reference to Schindler's list offensive..."
Maybe not - many people don't like 'dark humour' yet it's common enough, among soldiers particularly - I happen to like that sort of humpur - I've put numerous ones up on the joke threads
Basically, it's not about the Holocaust anyway, it's about a film title - Thomas Keneally's book on which the film was based is entitled Shchindler's Ark
Whatever the joke is, it is not racist.
Racist humour is designed to take the piss out of entire races or ethnic communities by presenting them a stereotypically, dirty, stupid, dishonest, treacherous..... In the case of Irish jokes, stupidity and cultural backwardness is the recurring theme, SEE HERE
The Schindler joke does none of those things
There are thousands of jokes about nationalities, some of them deliberately racist, others complementary - the best satire is based on it
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Doug Chadwick
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 04:37 AM

Just to redress the balance:-

A man goes into a pub in Ireland and asks for a pint of Guinness. "Guinness?" says the barman, "Do you know how long that takes to pour? I've got other customers waiting".

He gets his pint and offers a 20 Euro note."Have you not got anything smaller? We've only just opened. You're going to take all my change".

After a while sitting in silence, the man asks the barman if they ever have any music on. "Music?" he replies, "this is a pub. It's for drinking. People sitting round listening to music cut into my profits".

Taken aback, the man says "I thought pubs were supposed to be friendly in Ireland".
"Ah well," says the barman, "that's because we are an English theme pub".


DC

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Ernest
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 05:00 AM

ok, I have to explain it again:

In my mind neither the Schindler joke nor the Irishman joke are racist.
Only according to Jims initial statement (second post of this thread) they are.

As Jim stated later on: "Racist humour is designed to take the piss out of entire races or ethnic communities by presenting them a stereotypically, dirty, stupid, dishonest, treacherous..... In the case of Irish jokes, stupidity and cultural backwardness is the recurring theme2". This also doesn´t apply to the thread-opening joke - on the contrary, the Irishman in question gives the policeman a clever answer.

Did anyone understand the irony in my first post?

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 05:22 AM

Did anyone understand the irony in my first post?

I guess not. Like jokes, if you need to explain, it is not worth telling.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:12 AM

"gives the policeman a clever answer."
Clever - Really???
Sound's pretty stupid to me
In context of who posted it, I have little doubt iof what was intended
His reputation goes before him
Pleaed we are in agreement about the Schindler Joke
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Senoufou
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:19 AM

I think, rather than the using the word 'racist' quite so much these days, the expression 'in poor taste' fits the situation better.

To me, jokes about Schindler (who like it or not was involved in saving Jews from the death camps) are in poor taste. So are jokes implying that the Irish are thick, and mocking their accent etc.
There are jokes about the elderly, about 'blondes' (ditsy etc) and they could all be said to be in poor taste.
They could still make one laugh, but if they upset someone, then better not use them.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: mg
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:36 AM

we are not in agreement about the schindler joke.

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 06:47 AM

But it is not a joke about Schindler. It is a play on words on the book and film Schindler's List.

An Englishman, an Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a pub. The barman said 'Is this some kind of joke?'.

This is not a joke about Englishmen, Irishmen, Scotsmen or barmen. It is not racist even though it mentions nationalities nor is it it sexist because it does not say English person etc. It is not stereotyping, it is a joke about a joke. I am sure someone will take offense though...

Ernest. Did you ever hear someone say 'Oh yes, he is a very clever person' and fully understand that it was not their intention to praise them?

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 07:19 AM

"we are not in agreement about the Schindler joke."
You think it's racist then?
Explain why
'in poor taste'
I agree Sen, all 'dark humour' is in poor taste Sen - that's why some people find it funny
There' a whole psychological science around why people feel certain things funny
MacColl and Seeger recorded jokes from miners for the programme 'The Big Hewer', at least half of them were about pit accidents and lung diseases.
A typical one from the North east was about the 'Bevin Boys' - young unemployed schoool leavers who were put to work in the pits during WW2 - remombered among miners for their inexperience.
It was the practice in the pits that if a fatality occured, the men would be given a day off in respect for the deceased
"Two of these Bevin Boys were sent down to help look for survivors after a pit-fall - they discovered two dead miners in the rubble.
One said to the other, "Tell you what, let's take one up now and leave the other till later, then we can have two days off"
The miners on the recording found that hilarious
There are dozens of these on a tape I was given by Ewan.
Trench humour even appeared in cartoon form during WW1 - I got dozens of 'dark jokes' from a WW1 veteran, the first time I ever went out with a tape recorder
Some of the Norfolk fishermen gave us jokes about sinking fishing boats
Folklorist, Gershon Legman, devoted a whole section of one of his book to necrophobic sex
I hear many from Jewish friends when I lived in Manchester
Maybe I might have found them offensive when told by non-Jews, but as jokes, they were a very strong part of Jewish culture among those I knw
All this is 'dark' stuff and not to e=everybody's taste - I think it is described as "survival humour" - a way of coping with dangerous occupations and situations - not to everyone's taste admittedly
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: Irish jokes!
From: mg
Date: 02 Feb 18 - 07:22 AM

i do not see how you can tolerate the schindler joke and get all offended about something i find innocuous in the irish one ..and i am of irish descent. i would not call it racist but rather just horrid in general.