BS: Cold Nuts

Subject: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 09:07 AM

There is snow in the wind. The corner shop is selling de-icer and toy sledges. It is very cold.

And yet there was this man wearing tight red shorts going into the Coop.
Could there be a scientific explanation? Perhaps he is hoping to impregnate his wife, or someone else's wife, and he heard that cold testicles produce more sperms.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 09:13 AM

I rinse mine in cold water everyday afer hot soap and water...

So I should be acclimatised ok if my trousers accidently fall down whilst out and about Town this week......

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 09:21 AM

Hahahaha! The poor sperms will be too blooming frozen to swim Al.

My husband has just left for work in his long thermal under-trousers, long-sleeved thermal vest, thick over-trousers, ridiculously thick jumper, a padded, hooded jacket that's more like a duvet, a woolly hat and two pairs of gloves. Does he work outside? you may ask. No, he cleans in a nice warm school, to which he drives in his nice warm car. But he says he has to go across to the other building block (the 'Art Suite'), a walk of about two minutes.
But he does like the snow (novelty factor)

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Charmion
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 10:26 AM

Eliza, you remind me of the Sudanese family that lived around the corner from us in Ottawa. Papa would put out the garbage in the morning with a sleeping bag wrapped around him -- in April!

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 01:55 PM

Close red trousers --
I remember a meditation on close red trousers
from the ending pages of Lady Chatterley's Lover, of all places.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 07:31 PM

Wearing tight red shorts is a bit self-defeating if the objective is to cool one's testicles. The tight shorts would squeeze the testicle tightly against other bodily parts where they would absorb body heat, thereby negating any cooling from a cool environment. To maximize sperm production, one needs to wear loose red shorts.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: frogprince
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 07:56 PM

"one needs to wear loose red shorts."
But the fallout from that can be devastating.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Rapparee
Date: 26 Feb 18 - 08:48 PM

You never heard of a fallout shelter?

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:04 AM

I was down the beach and saw this well hung man leave the sea to walk up the beach. Every couple of steps his 'tip' would bounce on the sand.
He saw me watching, and asked:
"What're you staring at? Doesn't yours shrink when it's been in cold water?"

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:23 AM

Hahahahahaha Nigel!

I've heard that there are salons where men can get what's called a 'crack, back and sack' waxing, to remove all the hairs. I couldn't imagine anything more painful, the poor souls.

Whatever IS this ridiculous fashion for ripping out every single hair from anywhere but one's head? Apparently (so my nieces in their late twenties tell me) one must shave or depilate ALL areas to appear completely prepubescent. That's really sinister in my view.
(And how is one to keep one's bits warm??)

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:30 AM

I wonder did Nigels man coming out the water pass two old ladies where one had a stroke and the other couldn't reach

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:45 AM

As the woman said while watching Trump on tv after an uncomfortable waxing experience:
"Maybe 'Bush' wasn't so bad."

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 05:36 AM

Gaaaaah hahahahaha! The jokes on here are making me spill my tea all over my laptop!

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Big Al Whittle
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 01:31 PM

16 inches predicted in some areas!

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Kenny B (inactive)
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 03:16 PM

Al is that comment due to a Brazilian perhaps? ( private joke)

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Joe_F
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:07 PM

My father would have said, "Where there's no sense, there's no feeling."

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Rapparee
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 08:55 PM

Well, shortly I'm off for 21 days in Hawai'i. As the blizzards hit on March 5 and end ten days later after dumping six feet of sn*w on everyone here, I'll be thinking of you. Yes, thinking of you and I'll raise a glass of Longboard or Koloa Rum to the thought.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 09:28 PM

If I let the nuts get too cold I'd be brain-dead.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 04:05 AM

From: Kenny B - PM
Date: 27 Feb 18 - 04:30 AM
I wonder did Nigel's man coming out the water pass two old ladies where one had a stroke and the other couldn't reach

Reminds me of the woman who went into the cathedral topless.
The archbishop had a stroke.

Then the dean came up and said "You can't come in here topless"
The woman said "But I have a Divine Right."
The dean says: "The left's not bad either, but you still can't come in!"

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 04:08 AM

Hahahahahaaaaa! This thread is getting funnier and funnier!

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 04:09 AM

Cold nuts? I prefer my nuts hot and roasted....


...I'm not particularly interested in reproducing.

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Senoufou
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 04:38 AM

We're snowed in here in Norfolk this morning. All schools are closed and all the main routes out of Norwich are closed too (A11, A47, Ring Road) Husband is relieved he doesn't have to drive through ten inches of snow down tiny Nowhere Lane to get to work. It's very pretty with some weak sunshine making the place glitter. Cold nuts all round I reckon!

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Joe Offer
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 05:29 AM

Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...

Subject: RE: BS: Cold Nuts
From: Rapparee
Date: 28 Feb 18 - 09:57 AM

That's "Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire." Chet had been very, very bad.