Subject: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Oct 18 - 12:58 PM I bet many people on here have either made a hilarious typo or received one. Auto-correct phones make them much more common. Here's one, printed on the Christmas hymn sheet for the village carol service:- "Thus spake the seraph and forthwith Appeared a shining thong..." I expect that cheered up the shepherds no end. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:10 PM I used to have a job at an antiquarian bookshop in Boston, most of which consisted of typing transcripts of historical documents (back in the bad old days of - for me, as a junior employee - manual typewriters and carbon copies, so no quick fixes). Tied for first place as my personal best are: The Dike of Norfolk (Duke) Westmonster (take a wild guess) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:49 PM My eight year-old pupils were always putting howlers in their written work. One little girl, in a description of 'A Walk In The Countryside' wrote:- "The fields were humming with incest." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Oct 18 - 01:50 PM I love 'The Dike of Norfolk' Bonnie! Hee hee! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:16 PM Manchester Evening News Football Pink, circa 1958: "...and Charlton got the ball at the edge of the area and shit hard into the back of the net." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Dave the Gnome Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:19 PM I kept a clip for years advertising a device that removed unwanted hair from nose and ars. :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:23 PM Texts produced from scans can be fun. I was looking for information about an artist named Cockburn, and found an article online in which Cockburn was written as Cockbum throughout. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:24 PM Radcliffe Times, some time in the 60s, a man was convicted, following a shunt, of driving without due car. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 05 Oct 18 - 02:29 PM I made my Year 7 class copy down the title of the work from the blackboard where I'd chalked it. I hadn't noticed the little gash in the blackboard's fabric. When I took in the work to mark it I found that every single kid in that class of thirty had written the title ENER/GY. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:02 PM In an estate agency brochure for a house we went to check out when we were house-hunting a good few years ago - "The master bedroom has the benefit of an en-shite shower". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:04 PM Hahahahahaaaaaagh! These are so funny! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Dave the Gnome Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:06 PM I saw a bungalow advertised in the Rosendale valley. With Panasonic views :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: frogprince Date: 05 Oct 18 - 03:24 PM Once, long ago, a friend was a seminarian and was serving an internship pastorate in a small church in Wisconsin. The church placed an announcement in the local paper for a pot luck dinner. They weren't entirely happy when the paper got one letter wrong. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Tangledwood Date: 05 Oct 18 - 06:12 PM A PNG newspaper regularly ran an advert for a non-stick frypan that was "turflawn coated". Somehow I don't believe that was an accidental typo however. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Joe_F Date: 05 Oct 18 - 06:31 PM There is folklore in England to the effect that during Victoria's reign the Manchester Guardian reported "Her Majesty cut the ribbon and passed over the bridge" with i for the second a. If that actually happened, it must take the prize for the amount of embarrassment caused by a typo, and it also deserves high marks for bizarreness. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: keberoxu Date: 05 Oct 18 - 07:18 PM Don't know if the New Yorker magazine does this still. But back in the day, they would scare up typos and bloopers, short ones, and run them, adding brief wry commentary. I have never forgotten: Marlon Brando, the Tango-dancing Godfather, blah blah blah and the house he lived in, 'with a breathtaking view of Beverly Sills.' Comment: 'Gee, and we thought Marlon had kind of quieted down.' |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bonnie Shaljean Date: 05 Oct 18 - 08:36 PM Not a typo but a calligraphy howler: A friend of mine, a talented musician who’s also good at ornate lettering, was making his own poster for an upcoming solo concert. It grandly proclaimed LUTE RECITAL followed by the usual info concerning date, time, venue etc. The problem? He left the “I” out of Recital. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 05 Oct 18 - 09:35 PM Udderly smooth skin lotion |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Rapparee Date: 05 Oct 18 - 11:07 PM I saw an ad offering a crockpot for "2 people/2 pound roast". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 06 Oct 18 - 05:39 AM As i have trouble hearing some voices on tv I use subtitles a lot: they are a constant source of amusement, as they depend on automanted voice to text a lot. I can't recall a particular one but commend them to anyone who enjoys this sort of thing. RtS (Modesty forbids mentioning this year's guidebook best: "The beach has trees growing our of its backside" and my gleanings from Greek menus that appear in my annual BS Postcards...) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 06 Oct 18 - 09:37 AM Ah, subtitles are always causing hilarity Roger. I saw this one on the Good Housekeeping website:- (Pig man standing in a barn with several piglets around his feet) "They'll nibble anything, even our willies!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: DMcG Date: 06 Oct 18 - 10:32 AM Subtitles: one I remember on a financial report said: The government has released its latest boring figures... I think they meant 'borrowing', but maybe not. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: keberoxu Date: 06 Oct 18 - 07:22 PM I was over at a serious thread trying to type "investigation" and it came out "infestigation." Not the spellchecker, just lil ol' me. I kind of like that one, "infestigation." Especially since it pertained to Trump's Kavanaugh. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bill D Date: 07 Oct 18 - 04:17 PM Not exactly the same type of typo, but close caption TV can give you some jaw-dropping stuff when it's being done on autopilot... I was watching a program on the Nazi doctor, Joseph Mengele,... in about 15 minutes the poor, confused program guessed at the word "Mengele" maybe 20-30 times and never did get it right. A few attempts were not even close to being words..in German or any other language. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 07 Oct 18 - 04:39 PM They mangled Mengele! ;-) Good to see you back, Bill. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 07 Oct 18 - 06:53 PM I found two typos online: Someone on the autism spectrum said to have Asparagus Syndrome And people seeking old school chums using Fiends Reunited. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Acorn4 Date: 08 Oct 18 - 04:10 AM In the daily notices of a school I worked at:- "A nice old lay in the village would like a couple of students to help with her garden." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 08 Oct 18 - 07:32 AM Hahaha Acorn! She'd be known here as 'The Village Bicycle'! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 08 Oct 18 - 12:12 PM Obituary Beloved Cunt Helen Crabtree is survived by her loving niece and nephew. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Joe_F Date: 08 Oct 18 - 09:20 PM Not exactly funny, but as a copyeditor I once saved the readers of a biology journal from seeing "viral counts" without the o in an article on modeling the spread of AIDS. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Peter the Squeezer Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:16 AM Back in the 1980's, the Guardian (UK) was so renowned for typo's that it was known as the Grauniad. I recall a report from around 1986, dealing with a footballer from Portsmouth(?) who was GOALED for drugs offences. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: BobL Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:47 AM Likewise, on the Political Leanings thread, our Mr. Carroll had an oops with what should have been "cultural" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Tiger Date: 09 Oct 18 - 09:14 AM Police log in our local paper mentions someone arrested for "driving unreasonably fat" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: j0_77 Date: 09 Oct 18 - 01:48 PM Wag writes on keep fit ad .. Planet Fatness... |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 09 Oct 18 - 03:45 PM Here's one from nearly a decade ago from 'About.com: London Travel': "2009 is the 500 year anniversary of King Henry VIII's accession to the throne. He was proclaimed king on 22 April 1509 and crowned king on 24 June 2009 so celebrations are going on throughout the year." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 09 Oct 18 - 04:06 PM Am I the only one to wonder why there has grown up, in recent times, the strange practice of using the rather clumsy "X - year anniversary" instead of "Xth anniversary"? |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 09 Oct 18 - 04:42 PM I don't like it either, Backwoodsman - it is especially pointless as the word 'anniversary' refers to the turning years. Nor do I like, 'at age X' instead of 'at the age of ...', which sounds as if the speaker is recounting the results of an experiment involving subjects [people] at different ages. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Mr Red Date: 11 Oct 18 - 03:47 AM en-shite shower that would be the bidet then? I still have the newspaper clip from 35 years ago. A job's vacant ad. "Worcester Screw Specialists.................. contact R W Makepiece" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:17 AM Tiger, I wonder if I'm guilty of 'driving unreasonably fat'? |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bill D Date: 11 Oct 18 - 04:37 PM re: My post above about closed captions and Joseph Mengele Here are a few of the odd attempts by the low-budget auto-caption program. Megalith Indiana Mandela MyBelly My Gala My Daily Mingella My gathers Mungle Men gather... I quit copying about then.... the program was an hour, and they used his name every couple of minutes. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jon Freeman Date: 11 Oct 18 - 07:15 PM I've given it before but telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 12 Oct 18 - 04:14 AM The Los Angeles Times printed an article about Ralph Lamb, the 'cowboy sheriff' of Las Vegas, stating '...butt cracks appeared in his public persona...' |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM "...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever." I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ???? |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:20 AM "...telling someone on ICQ that I had a hard dick (intended word being disc) problem was not that clever." I wouldn't regard that as a problem. Now, the reverse I would regard as a problem! ???? |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 14 Oct 18 - 03:21 AM Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: HuwG Date: 16 Oct 18 - 07:50 AM From a few years ago: A Leicester City player faces a four-match suspension after being sent off for a second booable offence ... |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bill D Date: 16 Oct 18 - 03:57 PM A newspaper clipping years ago about Bryan Bowers stated "Bryan Bowers, renowned master of the Idle harp will appear at..." (yes, was supposed to be autoharp) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 16 Oct 18 - 04:57 PM "Don't know how the double-post happened there - I only hit the 'Go' button once!" You must be happy though, John, like a dog with two dicks, in fact...:-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Backwoodsman Date: 17 Oct 18 - 12:11 AM Ha! Not sure Steve, I think I've been hit by Jim-Syndrome! (Sorry Jim, couldn't resist!). |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Bruce from Bathurst Date: 19 Oct 18 - 02:31 AM Our local newspaper here in rural Australia throws up some fine typos. A few years ago it announced the arrival of the "Earl and C***ess Bathurst" who were here from England to visit our town (which takes its name from some long gone ancestor of the present Earl). Main headline, front page, complete with photo! Unsurprisingly, the Countess didn't stay in town for very long. Marginally less offensive was a more recent announcement that "Church Street will be temporarily closed ... to allow the conduct of Beatification Work to continue". (Yes, there were capital letters.) Church Street runs alongside the Anglican Cathedral, so you can be sure there ain't no "Beatification" going on there. Sadly, the slow demise of serious print media in this country claimed sub-editors among its earliest casualties. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 23 Oct 18 - 10:59 AM anti sementism sounds like a form of birth control |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: SamStone Date: 24 Oct 18 - 12:35 PM Donald Trump...'nuff said |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jim Carroll Date: 25 Oct 18 - 11:41 AM Not a typo - but deserving to be one I drove an elderly woman neighbour to our local market town to do som business As we were leaving the town to return home, I decided to call into the local bookshop, sh I left her sitting in the van When I returned, I asked her if she was ok -she replied, "I've been fascinated watching all these young schoolgirls walking about with mobile homes clutched to their ears" Jim Carroll |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Gurney Date: 28 Oct 18 - 12:54 AM Also not a typo. For Halloween I put a notice at the drive.... Broomstick Parking Only! Offenders Will Be Toad. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 28 Oct 18 - 06:48 AM I have just seen an example of eBay feedback from someone who had bought a salt dish. It said "the bowel is too big!!!!!!!!!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 03 Nov 18 - 04:18 AM One of my nieces (a veritable pedant if ever there was one) has told me she's heard the following among her friends:- a damp squid a red heron the truth of the pudding |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 03 Nov 18 - 06:27 AM I've come across those damp squids several times - maybe squibs have been banned by "health 'n' safety", so young people have never heard of them. (And of course there is the ubiquitous toothcomb.) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 03 Nov 18 - 12:37 PM And "I have never stepped foot inside that place." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jos Date: 03 Nov 18 - 02:10 PM Around the time of the last election I heard a labour party spokesperson (I can't remember her name) talking about candidates "knocking on doorsteps". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: ripov Date: 04 Nov 18 - 07:34 PM A search for a body believed to buried in several tons of concrete is taking place in Birmingham. According to Bing - "A team of a dozen officers armed with shovels and garden thoughts are thought to be conducting the search". Officers and shovels had better be of best Black Country steel! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: C-flat Date: 05 Nov 18 - 08:31 AM I once knew someone who regularly used "Canine" pepper in her recipes. She was also known to use the expression "it's a vicious circus.." which conjures up disturbing imagery. My brother once fired off a very angry e-mail to a supplier complaining about the dreadful service provided and utter lack of competence displayed by those dealing with his complaint. No matter how cross us English get we do always try to sign off politely with a "Regards" or something similar. If you've never noticed, the "g" and the "t" on a typical "qwerty" keyboard are in close proximity, causing my brother to sign off his feisty complaint with the word "Retards". Kind Regards C-flat |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jim Carroll Date: 05 Nov 18 - 08:43 AM A local town here has the long term reputation of being disreputable and rowdy A few years ago the Council erected a sign on the road going through reading 'SLOWLY THROUGH TOWN" - Immediately the local graffiti artists got to work blanking out some of the letters. leaving it reading "LOW ROUGH TOWN" Jim Carroll |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Nov 18 - 10:01 AM My sister up in Scotland lives not far from a village called Longforgan. The local council has got very fed up with replacing the vandalised sign when the 'g' has been painted over yet again. I've told this on another thread in the past, but it still makes me giggle. A Mrs Malaprop friend told us all sitting round the table during the interval of village bingo that her husband was decorating their hallway and was going to put up a dildo rail. We stared hard at our cups of tea and tried to compose ourselves, with varying success. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 05 Nov 18 - 10:02 AM Sorry, I meant when the 'f' has been painted over. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Jim Carroll Date: 05 Nov 18 - 01:23 PM Not a typo, bu there's a hamlet on the Scottish Borders named Talkin Head Jim |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: keberoxu Date: 02 Aug 22 - 02:53 AM So I was merrily amusing myself with online astrologer reports, and this one showed up: "Did you see the full moot? A supermen, it is orbiting close to earth and 14% bigger than usual. " Hmmmm. New moot, half moot, full moot . . . |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: G-Force Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:03 AM I used to work as a technical translator, so I spent much of my day typing, or mis-typing. Certain words would frequently come out wrong: 'purposes' would often be 'puspores', and as for 'shut-off device' I'll leave you to guess ... Our local football team went on a charm offensive once, but the local paper's attempt to describe their 'genial waving' came out as 'genital waving'. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:05 AM There is someone not amused by typos but enraged. Paragons of perfrction are not alike. Some are nice people. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Georgiansilver Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:11 AM My favourite typo was when a comma was omitted from a Newspaper headllne in the UK, during the Second World War. It read 'Eighth Army push bottles up Germans! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 09:36 AM A typo is not the same thing as an ignorant error, Donuel. I've heard many an excuse here made for the latter via a claim that it was the former. No names, no pack drill, old chap. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 22 - 09:49 AM There he arrogantly goes again when its not even about him. I am reminded of the ire of a terrorist who provides no proof or evidence for their hatful accusations. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 10:41 AM But it's true. By the way, I'll accept "hatful" as a typo. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 22 - 01:05 PM the funny part is no one cares what you claim without evidence, links, trust or verifvacation. -correction- big lie believers might believe you but still wouldn't care. Let me push forward this clue; Your authority declaration to students was one thing, adults are another. See, this clue push bottles up Steve |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Roger the Skiffler Date: 02 Aug 22 - 01:06 PM Many of the keys on my computer have worn blank so I'm always having to check for typos, not being a touch typist! RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:29 PM What a sad case you are, Donuel. Don't those mushrooms grow in August? As for those typos, autocorrect is my worst enema and, as for spellcheckers, they can go straight to he'll! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Dave the Gnome Date: 02 Aug 22 - 04:50 PM The inventor of autocorrect died last week. His funfair is on fried egg. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Ytpos From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 22 - 05:41 PM Yes I am a believer of sharing intellectual wealth. A democracy of the human mind if you will. That makes you a terrier ist against progressive motives, inventions and possibilities. Yessiree I take pride in what you think should be shamed. However there is always the possibility you are just phishing in your desire to harm or hurt people cuz they hurt little stevie years ago. I come to query Steven not to praise him. Whatever happened in your military service and PHD ABD is your business. As your boss says "Thems are the breaks". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 06:35 PM You're barking. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 02 Aug 22 - 06:48 PM And you are cofefe. Stick to the topic duckhead. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 07:13 PM Rather like you sticking to the topic in the joke thread? Bwahahahahaghaha! (Aaargh! I just did a typo!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 07:57 PM The Guardian, infamous for its typos, once referred to Beethoven's Symphony no 3 as "the Erotica." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 02 Aug 22 - 08:17 PM Dunno whether it still applies, but Jeremy on his website TheSession put in software that detected swear words and automatically replaced them with a euphemism. It worked but it did lead to an absurdity or two. For example, if you tried to type the name of the English town Scunthorpe, it came out as "Seejithorpe." Likewise on Chiff and Fipple, if you typed "bastard" it came out every time as "basmati." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: MaJoC the Filk Date: 03 Aug 22 - 02:18 AM > basmati I prefer the euphamism "bar steward". Works well in speech too. .... oh, and I read "Bwahahahahaghaha!" as "I'm so evil that I gag on my own cackling". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Steve Shaw Date: 03 Aug 22 - 03:26 AM "Funking bar steward" takes it a step further... |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Senoufou Date: 03 Aug 22 - 04:17 AM Not exactly a 'typo', but I've seen 'Chester Draws' quite a few times online. A 'Malapropism' I think. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Typos From: Donuel Date: 03 Aug 22 - 07:58 AM malapriapism? |