BS: The ladies' companion

Subject: BS: The ladies' companion
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Jul 19 - 05:05 PM

Haven't heard the term in this context before......"ladies' companion"

Could be an interesting subject for a song.

[incomplete address}... the link is here

long addresses sometimes wrap to another line and are hard to copy... and wow, it's ivory!

a clone

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: keberoxu
Date: 31 Jul 19 - 05:10 PM

the link didn't work for me.


Lydia Pinkham's bottled stuff?

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Jack Campin
Date: 31 Jul 19 - 07:49 PM

Googling "antique dildo ireland" will find several versions of the story.

Doesn't seem to have seen service with anybody really famous in Irish history.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: JennieG
Date: 31 Jul 19 - 10:40 PM

Sorry about that! It worked when I put it up.

As Jack says, google is your friend. It's quite amusing......never heard the term "ladies' companion" before.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: leeneia
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 12:45 AM

No? When I was younger, it was common for an elderly woman to have a companion, a middle-aged woman who might drive, shop for groceries, etc. My 80-year-old piano teacher had a companion.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: JennieG
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 02:03 AM

Different context, leenia!

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 02:32 AM

I once invented a recipe for doughnuts flavoured with dill

You can guess what the recipe was called.


FWIW ground dill has a very nice aniseedy flavour. Despite the humour - it was a very successful result.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 01 Aug 19 - 02:34 AM

"Lydia Pinkham"
Aka 'Lily the Pink', inventor of Scaffold's 'Medicinal Compound'

Unexpurgated version:
The Duke of Windsor had influenza,
He found he could no longer shag.
He took a dose of Medicinal Compound
Now forty kids all call him "Dad"
etc.
Jim Carroll

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: keberoxu
Date: 03 Aug 19 - 06:32 PM

I always thought the key phrase
for the Lydia Pinkham product was

"36 proof alcohol content" . . .

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Mrrzy
Date: 03 Aug 19 - 10:09 PM

Love that song. Now they've tied her to a tree...

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 02:49 AM

My Uncle Willie, he had a seizure,
Each time he tried to have a pee.
But after a dose of Medicinal Compound
They had to pipe him out to sea.

Used to know severels more verses - perhaps a dose of.... might bring them all back
Jim Caarroll

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: keberoxu
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 09:51 AM

About the OP:

it reminds me that
Fleetwood Mac titled a double album "Tusk" ...

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Mrrzy
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 11:11 AM

In the days when they called dildoes Ladies' Companions I would have thought they would not be writing about dildoes at all!

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 12:12 PM

To dildo, or dildon't.. that is the question...

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 01:06 PM

My friend Billy
had a three-foot willie
He showed it to the woman next door.
She thought it was a snake
So she hit it with a rake
And now it's only two foot four.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 01:13 PM

'Pegging' is apparently becoming popular amongst latest trend following heterosexual couples...

no thanks.. not with my piles...

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 01:17 PM

Ah, life is just a bowel of cherries...

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 04 Aug 19 - 09:03 PM

when i saw the subject, I thought this thread referred to this

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: JennieG
Date: 06 Aug 19 - 04:40 PM

Probably depends how companionable you want to be, Sandra.....

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Aug 19 - 05:16 PM

Sandra... and at one time an 'etui' was kept by the head housekeeper, often on a special belt. Needles and such were usually expensive and were hand made. When a servant girl required a needle, it would be 'loaned' to her by the housekeeper and carefully noted. Losing a needle probably brought a fine or loss of wages.
I used to make etui out of wood on a lathe...nothing like the ornate ones on your link, but merely a wooden tube with a fitted cap. Since very few people need needle containers, I sold them as pill cases. I still have 4 of my own... one is in my pocket at all times, and when traveling I use 2-3 to sort various pills for morning & evening.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 06 Aug 19 - 07:02 PM

I collect needlework tools & have a number of etuis.

speaking of precious needles, decades ago I attended a function at a community centre run by post-war Baltic migrants, unfortunately I can't remember their nationality. In the display cabinet was a wooden needle & a length of lint bandage that had been embroidered using this hand-made needle & threads drawn from the bandage by the wife of the President when they were exiled to Siberia by the Russians after the war.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 08 Aug 19 - 03:00 PM

John willmott, Earl of Rochester's take on the subject
Jim Carroll

Signior Dildo [c. Dec. 1673]
The occasion of this satirical lyric is the marriage of James, Duke of York, to Mary of Modena. After a proxy wedding in her native Italy, the new Duchess and her entourage crossed the Channel on 21 November 1673 to Dover, where the Duke met her and repeated the marriage ceremony. The ducal party reached London on 26 November.

You ladies all of merry England
Who have been to kiss the Duchess’s hand,
Pray, did you lately observe in the show
A noble Italian called Signior Dildo?

This signior was one of Her Highness’s train,        
And helped to conduct her over the main;
But now she cries out, “To the Duke I will go!
I have no more need for Signior Dildo.”

At the Sign of the Cross in St. James’s Street,
When next you go thither to make yourselves sweet        
By buying of powder, gloves, essence, or so,
You may chance t’ get a sight of Signior Dildo.

You’ll take him at first for no person of note
Because he appears in a plain leather coat,
But when you his virtuous abilities know,        
You’ll fall down and worship Signior Dildo.

My Lady Southesk, heavens prosper her for’t!
First clothed him in satin, then brought him to Court;
But his head in the circle he scarcely durst show,
So modest a youth was Signior Dildo.

The good Lady Suffolk, thinking no harm,
Had got this poor stranger hid under her arm.
Lady Betty by chance came the secret to know,
And from her own mother stole Signior Dildo.

The Countess of Falmouth, of whom people tell
Her footmen wear shirts of a guinea an ell,
Might save the expense if she did but know
How lusty a swinger is Signior Dildo.

By the help of this gallant the countess of Ralph
Against the fierce Harrys preserved herself safe.        

She stifled him almost beneath her pillow,
So closely sh’ embraced Signior Dildo.

Our dainty fine duchesses have got a trick
To dote on a fool for the sake of his prick:
The fops were undone, did Their Graces but know        
The discretion and vigor of Signior Dildo.

That pattern of virtue, Her Grace of Cleveland,
Has swallowed more pricks than the ocean has sand;
But by rubbing and scrubbing so large it does grow,
It is fit for just nothing but Signior Dildo.        

The Duchess of Modena, though she looks high,
With such a gallant is contented to lie,
And for fear the English her secrets should know,
For a Gentleman Usher took Signior Dildo.

The countess o’ th’ Cockpit (Who knows not her name?
She’s famous in story for a killing dame),
When all her old lovers forsake her, I trow
She’ll then be contented with Signior Dildo.

Red Howard, red Sheldon, and Temple so tall
Complain of his absence so long from Whitehall
Signior Bernard has promised a journey to go
And bring back his countryman Signior Dildo.

Doll Howard no longer with’s Highness must range,
And therefore is proffered this civil exchange:
Her teeth being rotten, she smells best below,        
And needs must be fitted for Signior Dildo.

St. Albans, with wrinkles and smiles in his face,
Whose kindness to strangers becomes his high place,
In his coach and six horses is gone to Borgo
To take the fresh air with Signior Dildo.

Were this signior but known to the citizen fops,
He’d keep their fine wives from the foremen of shops;
But the rascals deserve their horns should still grow
For burning the Pope and his nephew Dildo.

Tom Killigrew’s wife, north Holland’s fine flower,        
At the sight of this signior did fart and belch sour,
And her Dutch breeding farther to show,
Says, “Welcome to England, Mynheer Van Dildo!”

He civilly came to the Cockpit one night,
And proffered his service to fair Madam Knight.        
Quoth she, “I intrigue with Captain Cazzo;
Your nose in mine arse, good Signior Dildo!”

This signior is sound, safe, ready, and dumb
As ever was candle, carrot, or thumb;
Then away with these nasty devices, and show        
How you rate the just merits of Signior Dildo.

Count Cazzo, who carries his nose very high,
In passion he swore his rival should die;
Then shut up himself to let the world know
Flesh and blood could not bear it from Signior Dildo.        

A rabble of pricks who were welcome before,
Now finding the Porter denied ’em the door,
Maliciously waited his coming below
And inhumanly fell on Signior Dildo.

Nigh wearied out, the poor stranger did fly,        
And along the Pall Mall they followed full cry;
The women, concerned, from every window
Cried, “Oh! for heavens’ sake, save Signior Dildo!”

The good Lady Sandys burst into a laughter
To see how the ballocks came wobbling after,        
And had not their weight retarded the foe,
Indeed’t had gone hard with Signior Dildo.

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: meself
Date: 08 Aug 19 - 03:32 PM

Methinks the good Earl had too much time on his hands - I got half-way through that .... Thanks, though, Jim - it's a curiosity!

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: JennieG
Date: 09 Aug 19 - 08:45 PM

Very appropriate, Jim!

Subject: RE: BS: The ladies' companion
From: Jim Carroll
Date: 10 Aug 19 - 03:05 AM

"too much time on his hands"
More than "time" I would think !
Wilmott is well worth dipping into, for those who haven't
Jim