BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 06:11 PM

I think there was a slough of something in The Princess Bride, too.

Happy and grateful are distinct to me but I am also embedded in a culture of assumed xtianity so they don't thank people who actually do things, as in, the surgeon saved my live, thank god, not thank the surgeon, or I just accomplished this thing, thank god, not I'm proud of myself. Dehumanizing all around.

Good meeting with the elder boy today. And yes it's spelled that way because of Wesley "shut up, Wesley!" Crusher. But I hadn't seen him in a while, he's changed his hair and beard, and I didn't recognize him. They said young man here to see you, I looked and said no idea who that is, got a really shocked look from the clinician, looked again... I want to write a ballad of prosopagnosia.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 01:13 PM

Good for you Mrrzy, you've managed a week already!
I'm no psychologist, but I'd have thought just relaxing, finding small pleasures and not thinking too hard can be very healing, before you start to analyse and confront your great griefs.

You sound rather more 'upbeat' and I do hope this continues.
Everyone on here is thinking about you, and sending lots of good wishes.
Big hugs, and dew yew keep a-troshing!
Eliza x

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 12:04 PM

Wasn't it John Bunyan in Pilgrim's Progress who spoke of
The Slough of Despond?

The sooner one can slough off the despond, the better.
Hope the sun shines for you, regardless of gratitude.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Jeri
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 11:59 AM

I tend to think "grateful" is saying I'm glad for it. Nobody else involved. I'm happy you seem to be doing better. Grateful? Praise the continuity of life, and the fact we're predisposed to heal.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 11:19 AM

Getting better again from the slough of FeelNothing that Tim's crisis put me into. And I love the word slough.

Another beef though is that they really need a program for atheists. There is no religion/church/preaching but can't we stop talking about gratitude and start talking about hope and joy? I am not *grateful* for the sunshine, nobody gave it to me, it just is, because physics. I *do* cherish it. The sunshine, that is. And physics, for that matter.

Ha ha get it?

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: robomatic
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 09:30 AM

Mrrzy-

For me, music and The Simpsons make me smile and want to hear want to see.

Make my appendages greedy for more.

I am now greedy to read and hear

how you are.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 26 Jan 20 - 07:17 AM

1 week

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 25 Jan 20 - 12:22 PM

And your internet connection lacks sound.
Sounds like you need earbuds ...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 25 Jan 20 - 07:50 AM

Amergin, remember how hard we laughed at the "electric" fence at the zoo?

Then there are the inconsistencies - Person 1, you have to be in your room during quiet time. Person 2, you just can't use the computers, phones, or TV, but you can be out. 1-sure you can have a bagel during this meeting, 2-no you can't have a bagel in this room. 1-if your nightlight dies bring it back and we'll give you different one (they are rechargeable). Last night my light went out Oh, you can't have another, you have to bring it to us in the morning so we can charge it for you for later. I's enough to drive one crazy!

Ooh JUST got a phone call, Tim only has a 72-hour hold and I know where is is, which is about 5 hours away, bugger. Not that I can go but that means pretty much an overnight trip for anyone who can...

Relief is knowing what the deal is.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 25 Jan 20 - 07:40 AM

Good wishes are nice but sometimes the body and mind just have to throww uuup.
Fighting the urge to 'puke' lasts only so long. Euroope ptooey.
Its not a setback and soon you'll feel better. I'm speaking figuratively of course. Buick... pant pant.
We all do it but few talk about it.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Amergin
Date: 25 Jan 20 - 06:47 AM

Mrrzy, I fondly remember the time we met, many years ago, here in Portland. You're a great person, and I'm sorry you're going through the shit right now.

Anyway, y therapist told me not to focus so much on the big victories, but the small ones, the getting out of bed ones, the brushing teeth ones, the showering ones.

Because they all add up. Take care of yourself...and if things get worse don't be afraid to check out for a while. There's a nice hotel with staff that will give you the help you need.

I have many friends who have used such services from time to time. It saved their lives.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Joe Offer
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 08:08 PM

This makes me smile. Keep doing well, Mrrzy.
-Joe-

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 08:03 PM

Yeah he's been sent somewhere but don't know if voluntary or where

Remember Chutes and Ladders? That one really long chute?

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 04:43 PM

Oh, Mrrzy, when it doesn't rain, it pours! I'm wishing for sunshine in your life and your son's life, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 04:03 PM

Forgot to add: xxxxxxxx’s

%!!*&#@*! Ipads...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 04:01 PM

Sorry... that wuz me saying Keep us posted

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 04:00 PM

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 03:10 PM

Fuck me sideways yeah right but apparently he called himself in so yay.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 01:56 PM

Oh NO Mrrzy.
No, no, no, no, NO !!

Maybe it's the sun in mad old Aquarius ...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 01:28 PM

Aw fuck me sideways my younger son is back in the ER having another psychotic break

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 01:11 PM

Hahaaaaa Mrrzy! The Crumpet Strumpet eh? Can't wait for my husband to come home from his work so I can tell him. He'll laugh his head off I'm sure!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 01:05 PM

You could try my crumpet favourite: good orange marmalade with a topping of mild cheese. It may not help nutritionally, but it might help you to feel good.

Hugs from Helen

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 12:30 PM

Ooh, a crumpet strumpet! Totz approve.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 24 Jan 20 - 04:12 AM

We weigh about the same Mrrzy, roughly eleven stone. And about the same height too.
I don't reckon it's necessary to eat large quantities of grub if you don't feel like it Just make sure you get the essential combination of proteins, vegetables and fruit, a bit of carbohydrate and...dozens and dozens of crumpets dripping with butter.
Oh, wait. Ignore that last one!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 23 Jan 20 - 10:10 PM

Food and sleep, those are two of the biggies.
The meds, now, that's between you and the caregivers/doctors.
Anyway,
the sooner you are sleeping and eating -- no particular order --
with some relief for what you feel,
the better.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jan 20 - 09:13 PM

Actually the food is not bad, wish I wanted to eat it... At 5'3" I had been at about 160lbs for at least 10 years, down from a max of 214 in the 90's; propanolol last summer made me put on 20 lbs in 6 weeks so I made them take me off it (the propanolol, that is), and then just could not lose it (the weight, that is) - I weighed 179 on Dec 19, and when I checked in here on Jan 19 I weighed 161, and now I weigh 157 4 days later. Not a healthy variation.
Brits, divide by 14 to get my stones. Ha ha ha.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 23 Jan 20 - 04:00 PM

Hope you are comfortable Mrrzy, and that the food is nice etc. Perhaps the rest and change of scene, and time to reflect gently about all your difficulties will help you to feel better, and able to cope with life.
We're all thinking about you, and wishing you well.
Sending a huge HUG!
Eliza

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 23 Jan 20 - 03:52 PM

Still here

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: leeneia
Date: 22 Jan 20 - 09:06 PM

I'm thinking of you, Mrrzy, and wishing you well. My sympathy on the death of your father.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 22 Jan 20 - 08:49 PM

Sad by osmosis is a new phrase...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Jan 20 - 03:32 PM

Luvs

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Jan 20 - 09:23 AM

to be or not to be.
To bear the bullets
and blunt bludgeons
of the ignorant and
by opposing them all
win
do I want to grow
do I want to live
do I want to love

Love?
It is your 1 duty

What is love 2 u?
Is it a policeman who stops his car to investigate
a vagrant awake on the street corner dieing
A friend says I'll share my wine with you
The government says I will help you
The doctor says I will cure you
The son says I'll give you $
And the church gives a meal
The church is investing
the vagrant is thinking
I do not want to be alone
I want to see things I love
I want to remember the things I love
The poetry of a woman crossing her legs
The passion of pondering an impossible mystery
I will forget the false equivalence to my parents
I never really was alone but I chose to not see all the help?

The vagrant dies anyway
but not for decades
in a brand new life
thats the deal
take it or
leave it?

Life to me personally is all questions
and wishing I had more 'do overs'
Answers? Shit if I know
except for the 1 duty

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Monique
Date: 21 Jan 20 - 02:38 AM

Mrrzy, rien ni personne ne vaut/ne mérite que tu y/lui sacrifies ta vie. On n'en a qu'une, prends-en bien soin et un petit coup de pouce pour t'aider. Accroche-toi bien!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Jan 20 - 12:43 AM

Mrrzy - sending love from afar. Good to see you again.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 10:00 PM

Hey, Mrrzy, I have high hopes for your recovery. Seeking help is a very big first step. I hope the rest are smaller!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Helen
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 08:48 PM

Ah Mrrzy, great to see you here.

Some people know what They want in life,
And some people know how to get it.
Some people need some encouragement
And some people will help Them to get it.


And here we all are!! :-)

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: meself
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 07:09 PM

Hang in there, Mrrzy - we need you here!

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 06:13 PM

Hahaha Mrrzy, you did say something in your message about the 'singular They' but I didn't quite understand (silly old lady!) So sorry about that.
Glad you are able to access Mudcat and read our encouraging words.
We're all thinking of you and wishing you well.

Keep a-troshing bor! And dorn't yew let the bottom drarp owt!
(Norfolkspeak for 'hang in there mate and keep everything steady')

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 05:56 PM

Thanks all, and keep right on giving me reasons to thank you. Short answers now, but they will get longer.

And I totz forgot to remind (inform?) Senoufou about the They thing.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Joe Offer
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 05:09 PM

Mrr, all I can say is that I appreciate you very much. Your wisdom and your goodness shine through bright and clear.
With love,
Joe

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Anne Lister
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 04:49 PM

Mrzzy, I hope you are reading these messages. Sending you huge love and concern and wishing there was more I could do. I don't read the threads here very often these days and I'm so sorry I didn't catch up with this before. Many hugs, much love and I hope these messages give you some support.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: WalkaboutsVerse
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 03:12 PM

Mrrzy: in my opinion, you should never ever commit suicide - a good friend (plenty with positive thoughts just above) or a good break can be just around the corner and change your mindset completely. Carry on, please...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 03:00 PM

Jeeze Louise He has had as challenging a life as one can have.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Charley Noble
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 12:57 PM

I do hope you recover and come back to post, although Mudcat is the least of your concerns. But we're here.

Charlie Ipcar

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 12:41 PM

Seeking help was the right thing to do, and keeping your friends apprised of your situation was a kind thing to do. You've got this managed.

Get well and stay whole.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Bonnie Shaljean
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 12:18 PM

O gosh - I’m so sorry to read this. Mrrzy - sending much love from this corner of the world. You’re one of my favourite Catters. Hang in there and stay with us.

Bonnie <3

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: keberoxu
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 12:03 PM

No hard feelings, pfr -- just the opposite --
yours is the voice of experience,
reflecting the opposite side of one same coin.
And behind your 'hardened' attitude is real depth of feeling.
That means that your words and sentiments have weight here.

Thanks for sticking your neck out, pfr,
and we know you have Mrrzy's back.

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: Pete from seven stars link
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 11:50 AM

I recall that Mrrzy’ dad was killed in tragic and violent circumstances . Also that accommodation had been precarious. Wishing Mrrzy peace

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: punkfolkrocker
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 11:38 AM

I will now probably appear hard hearted and unsympathetic .. but...

I have long painful experience of my sibling's decades of emotionally blackmailing our parents
with suicide attempts..

A question still hangs over how she ultimately passed...

..and another relative with no apparent suicidal tendencies at all,
who suddenly flipped without warning and killed himself.

So my hardened attitude is either make a good job of it causing least heart break
and inconvenience to other folks,
or ask for professional help asap...

Mrrzy - you have chosen the most positive option,
and I sincerely wish you good health and well being..
and continued progress in managing your problems for many years to come..

Stay on top of it mudcat mate...

Subject: RE: BS: Thoughts for Mrrzy
From: EBarnacle
Date: 20 Jan 20 - 10:55 AM

The thing to remember is that hard times pass but we have to persist through them. there are many here who value you and wish you well.

HARD TIMES ARE LIKE KIDNEY STONES, THEY TOO SHALL PASS even though you will be in pain while it happens. Get past it soon and stay with us.