BS: In Praise of the Turnip

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 08:03 AM

Shortly after George Floyd's murder LeBron James posted a split screen photo with the cop kneeling on Floyd's neck on one half and Colin Kapernick kneeling on a sideline on the other with the caption "That's Why".

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 07:33 AM

Its like when Ceasar declared himself an Emporer God but Trump said it without words. Ceasar was stabbed in the Rotundra which I hear is a very painful spot to be stabbed. This time the Senators are on Trump's side.

The irony doesn't stop there. When Kapernick took a knee on the football field I never expected a policeman to take a knee to murder. There are also cops who take a knee in solidarity with protestors.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 06:48 AM

He's losing ground with evangelicals so he had peaceful protesters attacked at the very same moment he was saying he was allied with them, all for a photo op in front of a church with a bible for a prop. Before he even took office I was thinking he could start a civil war with his hateful, devisive rhetoric and now it seems he's brought us to the brink of one just to further his own interests.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 06:22 AM

We have had Presidents who soared like eagles, we have even had chicken hawks but never before have we had such a big fat Tweety Bird.

Yesterday Tweety Bird posed like the statue of Liberty with a church as a backdrop. He held the bible above his head where the torch would go and in the other hand where a book should be be held by the heart, his arm hung limply by his side.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 05:57 AM

The bishop here agrees with you John

For more bang for the buck I have submitted to DARPA my prototype of semi lethal "super ball rubber bullets". Once fired they don't stop bouncing around for 30 seconds. They can go around corners and injure multiple targets in one shot. I got an endorsement from Steven Miller who said I am in the spirit of the Trump Presidency. :^/

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 02 Jun 20 - 04:33 AM

The photo of him standing in front of a vandalised Washington DC church holding a bible, makes me want to throw up. Everything's a photo/re-election opp. God how that man disgusts me!

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 08:40 PM

folk song Tom Leher . lyrics no

I'm for law and oder
and shoot any who loot
If you have no receipt for that Shea Oil
Girl you're gonna get shot

I'm for law and order
more than anyone else
If you're black you have splainin to do
Not white? go fuck yourself

I'm fer lar an ardor
I dont rap or even bust rhymes
And even though I throw a couple extra lyrics occaisionaly into a line
I'm great all of the time

I'm 4 chan law and order
I worship the KKK
We have a quota on all black lives
They say I'm not OK

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 05:47 PM

Surely that's Mr. TurdNip?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 01:17 PM

Mr Turnip got scared last night. For an hour he hunkered in the nuclear bunker deep under the White House as demonstrators pushed over Barackades in Lafayette Park which is like his front yard.

Today he is frustrated in his inability to find Govenors willing to issue shoot to kill orders and is calling them WEAK Weak weak.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 12:25 PM

Trump has stage-managed the perfect storm - the health, reputation, and economy of the nation are in a temporary shambles and his name is stamped all over it.

This is the illustration of a "hot mess."

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 10:12 AM

You're also the author of our current economic disaster due to your late and ineffectual response to the virus. I hope all Americans are keeping score.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 09:44 AM

Thank you, President Shitbird for fanning the flames of racism for political gain. I know you didn't invent racism but your hate mongering is in large part responsible for the violence that is now tearing our nation apart. And in all this turmoil let's not forget that your politicization of and gross ineptitude in handling this pandemic has exponentially raised the death toll.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 01 Jun 20 - 02:33 AM

excess deaths.
which includes deaths by proxy, vulnerable people too afraid to go to hospital for other complaints.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Thompson
Date: 31 May 20 - 06:49 PM

The Financial Times, which has been playing a blinder in keeping a statistical watch on Covid-19's track of devastation across the world, has finally come to the conclusion that none of the usual methods of comparing countries works.
They are now comparing countries' figures using the only figure that can't easily be juked, at least by a relatively honest government: the figure for deaths-above-normal.
This means that countries that say "Might've been Covid-19 or might've been pneumonia" and exclude deaths on that basis can't dodge the figures.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 30 May 20 - 05:09 PM

FOREVER YOUNG
May Vlad bless and keep you always.
May your tweets reveal your dark soul
May you never do to others
And have others do to you.
May you build a ladder to the stars
We'll cut off every rung
And may you stay
Forever Lost.
May you grow up to be found guilty.
May you grow up despite the cost.
May you never beat the flu
And see the light of the eclipse.
May you meet someone just like you,
Stand uptight, like a stump
And may you stay
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
May you stay
Forever Trump.
May your hands never grab pussy.
May your feet always be slick.
May you have a strong 9 iron
And never never make back par.
May your pancreas make black tar.
May your sons stay far away
And may you stay
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
Forever Trump.
May you stay
Forever Trump.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 29 May 20 - 05:39 PM

"when the looting starts the shooting starts"
quote by Trump over murder protest, riots and looting over the murder of blacks by police in Minneapolice

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 27 May 20 - 06:36 AM

If you are elderly and plan to vote for Trump, the White House advises you to vote by absentee ballot BEFORE you die of corona virus - not after. 8^7

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 26 May 20 - 10:19 AM

The Art of the Deal (ammended by Michael Cohen

1        Once you have their money... you never give it back.
2        The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.        
2        Money is everything.        
3        Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.        
5        Always exaggerate your estimates.        
6        Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.        
7        Keep your ears open.        
8        Small print leads to large risk.
9        Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
10        Greed is eternal.        
14        The quickest way to find profits is to let them find you.        
15        Dead men close no deals
16        A deal is a deal... until a better one comes along.
17        A contract is a contract is a contract.
18        A Deal without profit is no Ferengi at all.        
19        Satisfaction is not guaranteed.        
20        He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.        
21        Never place friendship above profit.        
22        A wise man can hear profit in the wind.        
23        Nothing is more important than your health.
27        There's nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.        
29        What's in it for me?        Highest Score (DS9 novel)
30        "Confidentiality equals profit>
31        Never make fun of a loser's mother. Insult something he cares about instead.
33        It never hurts to suck up to the boss.        
34        War is good for business..
35        Peace is good for business.        
37        The early investor reaps the most interest.
39        Don't tell customers more than they need to know.        
40        She can touch your dick but never your $.        
41        Profit is its own reward.        
43        Feed your greed, but not enough to choke it.        
44        Never confuse wisdom with luck.        
45        Expand or die
47        Don't trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.        
48        The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.        
52        Never ask when you can take
53        Never trust anybody taller than you.        
54        Rate divided by time equals profit.
55        Take joy from profit, and profit from joy.        
57        Good customers are as rare as bearer bond—treasure
58        There is no substitute for success.        
59        Free advice is seldom cheap.        
60        Keep your lies consistent or for 2 weeks or not..        
62        The riskier the road, the greater the profit.        
63        Work is the best therapy-at least for your employees.        
65        Win or lose, there's always Huyperian beetle snuff.        
66        Someone's always got bigger debts.
68        Risk doesn't always equal reward.        
69        Ferengi are not responsible for the stupidity of other races.        
74        Knowledge equals profit.
75        Home is where the resort is.        
76        Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies.        
77        If you break it, I'll charge you for it!
82        The flimsier the product, the higher the price.        
85        Never let the competition know what you're thinking.        
87        Learn the customer's weaknesses, so that you can better take advantage of him
88        It ain't over 'til its over'
88        Vengeance will cost you everything.
89        Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.        
89        [It is] better to lose some profit and live than lose all profit and die.        
92        There are many paths to profit.        
94        Females and finances don't mix.
95        Expand or die.        
97        Enough... is never enough.
98        Every man has his price
98        If you can't take it with you, don't go.        
99        Trust is the biggest liability of all.        
100        When it's good for business, tell the truth.
101        Profit trumps emotion.        The Long Mirage
102        Nature decays, but latinum lasts forever.
103        Sleep can interfere with opportunity
104        Faith moves mountains... of inventory.        
106        There is no honor in peverts
108        Hope doesn't keep the lights on.        
108        A woman wearing clothes is like a man without any profits.        
109        Dignity and an empty sack is worth the sack.
110        Exploitation begins at home.        
111        Treat people in your debt like family... exploit them.        
112        Never have sex with the wife's sister.        
113        Always have sex with the boss.        
117        You can't free a fish from water
121        Everything is for sale, even friendship.        
123        Even a blind man can recognize the glow of gold
125        You can't make a deal if you're dead.        
135        Listen to secrets, but never repeat them.
139        Wives serve, brothers inherit.        
141        Only fools pay retail.        
144        There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.        
147        People love the bartender.
151        Even when you're a customer, sell yourself.        
153        Sell the sizzle, not the steak
162        Even in the worst of times someone turns a profit
168        Whisper your way to success.        
177        Know your enemies... but do business with them always.        
181        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.        
183        When life hands you grease, make detergent
184        A Trump waits to bid until his opponents have exhausted themselves.        
188        Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
189        Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.        
190        Hear all, trust nothing.        
192        Never cheat an Arab unless you're sure you can get away with it.        The Ferengi Rules of Acquisition
193        Trouble comes in threes.        
193        It's never too late to fire the staff.        
194        It's always good business to know about new customers
199        Location, location, location.
200        A Trump chooses no side but his own        
202        Suckers are succulent, but sometimes they bite back
208        Sometimes, the only thing more dangerous than a ? is an answer.        
211        Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.        
212        A good lie is easier to believe than the truth.        
214        Never begin a (business) negotiation on an empty stomach.        
216        Never gamble with a telepath.        
217        Always know what you're buying.
218        Sometimes what you get free costs entirely too much.        
219        Possession is eleven-tenths of the law!        
223        Beware the man who doesn't take time for blackmail
227        If that's what's written, then that's what's written.        Star Trek Online
229        Gold lasts longer than lust.        
235        Duck; death is tall
236        You can't buy fate
239        Never be afraid to mislabel a product.        
240        Time, like latinum, is a highly limited commodity.        
242        More is good... all is better
243        Always leave yourself an out.        
248        The definition of insanity is trying the same failed scheme & expecting different results
255        A wife is luxury... a smart accountant a neccessity.        
257        When the messenger comes to appropriate your profits, kill the messenger
261        A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience
263        Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for gold
266        When in doubt, lie.        
267        If you believe it, they believe it.        
272        Always inspect the merchandise before making a deal.
280        If it ain't broke, don't fix it.        
284        Deep down, everyone's bought.
285        No good deed ever goes unpunished
287        Always get somebody else to do the lifting
288        Never get into anything that you can't get out of
289        A man is only worth the sum of his possessions.        
290        An angry man is an enemy, and a satisfied man is an ally.        
291        The less employees know about the cash flow, the smaller the share they can demand.
292        Betrayal can be fired
293        The more time they take deciding, the more money they will spend.        
294        A bargain usually isn't
431        When the shooting starts, let the mercenaries handle it!

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 24 May 20 - 08:03 AM

Our Vilevillain and chief celebrated our Happy 100,000 day with a round of very fat and bad golf. He also ordered Condemocrats and Repukingcans alike to crowd together in church this Sunday.
The NYT has a front page like no other in history today.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 23 May 20 - 09:41 PM

I don' know about turnip but gillyweed works.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 23 May 20 - 05:29 PM

In the Telegrope today I read that the Lancet (UK august publication for doctors) that statistics for Hydroxychlorquine & Chlorquine used on 14,000 COVID-19 patients in US hospitals resulted in a 30% ish increase in the probability of death compared to 80,000 controls (not a controlled trial). With various permutations in conjunction with antibiotics it could be worse. And Heart arrhythmia rose more. And in one perm was 400% worse.

You know, we are living in interesting times and there might be a Turnip for the book...........

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: JHW
Date: 23 May 20 - 04:02 PM

In the UK swedes are often called turnips though swede is orangy-yellow and turnip is white and usually smaller. I often use if I've no carrots left. Cooks quickly boiled as small slices or chips (UK) then can be mashed yes with black pepper or served not mashed.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 20 - 05:48 PM

Americans are more familiar with the strategy of Trump lies.
First he makes the the accusation, then refers to the fact that an accusation exists. After that the transition of the accusation being a proven fact grows everyday until the whole lie becomes absolutely true with repetition.
Maybe there is an investigation but no matter what the finding, half will believe the accusation was proved, although it is always been a lie.
Its a bit like crude hypnosis with a couple conspiracy theory variations.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 21 May 20 - 02:29 PM

Surely, all they need is a Spud Gun https://www.amazon.co.uk/Spud-Colours-vary-that-shown/dp/B074RFZK99

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: peteglasgow
Date: 21 May 20 - 12:25 PM

a couple of weeks ago (i think - so much has happened!) the orange one declared he had proof that china had cooked up a virus to sell to the democrats to kill america (or something) have i missed something but has he provided this proof yet? has anyone asked him for it? in the rumpuk we only hear about the crazier things he has done so we probably wouldn't hear about a bit of scholarly and insightful research he has done. it sounded like quite an important claim - what happened?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 21 May 20 - 07:18 AM

Part of the Turnip base is the American Taliban (private AK_47 militias). When they do essential functions that the government doesn't do, the militias gain respect. HOWEVER
Target practice, manuverses and armed storming of the Capital in Michigan to protest stay at home orders does little to help people who are under 14 feet of water from 2 failed dams.
All the guns and all the ammunition does NOT get Michigan on its feet again.

Turnip has said "Liberate Michigan, Virginia and your State. Reopen Today!"
The American Taliban is fading away
because Donald said he will not fund
Michigan in any way.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 21 May 20 - 06:20 AM

Everyone knows that single shot firearms are not as effective as semi-automatic for controlling colorado beetle infestations.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mossback
Date: 20 May 20 - 09:54 AM

Trump Warns Farmers That Gun Control Will Leave Their Potatoes Defenseless

President Donald Trump offered an unusual warning to Virginia farmers on Tuesday, suggesting that their potatoes might be at risk and they will need to be armed to protect those spuds.

“We’re going after Virginia, with your crazy governor, we’re going after Virginia. They want to take your Second Amendment. You know that, right? You’ll have nobody guarding your potatoes.”

Virginia Gov. Ralph Northam (D) fired back on Twitter

    " I grew up on a Virginia farm, Mr. President—our potatoes are fine. And as the only medical doctor among our nation’s governors, I suggest you stop taking hydroxychloroquine."

Yeah, but what about Virginia's Turnips???

Trump really is a complete furking idiot for all seasons.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 20 May 20 - 06:52 AM

Ya got better details than me. I know one thing,
I know nothing.
Please take the lead of not dumbing down posts to its lowest common factorial. I can tell you did not just fall off the Turnip truck.

Red, I was thinking donald is the middle name son of, the son of god.
I would not be surprised if inbreeding is involved. ???

Perhaps donald's grandfathers simply yelled CHrist! everytime they had another kid.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: An Buachaill Caol Dubh
Date: 20 May 20 - 05:25 AM

Did either his father or mother have a sister with that name as well?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 20 May 20 - 02:34 AM

Christ-mass i've ?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 19 May 20 - 06:59 AM

Donald Trump's parents both had the same middle name of...
Christ.
What does that make Donald?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 19 May 20 - 06:40 AM

‘This will kill you’:

I don't refer to black humour. But.................................

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 18 May 20 - 08:21 PM

There actually is a 'In Praise' of Trump thread - last autumn

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Joe Offer
Date: 18 May 20 - 08:12 PM

Every time I look at this title, it looks like "In Praise of Trump."

Could we change it to "In Praise of Rutabagas"?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 18 May 20 - 07:55 PM

Yes Donuel, it's the Darwin Awards grand finale. And the winner is...!!!

The Darwin Awards salute the improvement of the human genome by honoring those who accidentally remove themselves from it in a spectacular manner!

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 18 May 20 - 05:10 PM

Trump is on hydro oxy chloroquine prescribed by himself

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 18 May 20 - 04:54 AM

He has gained 50 lbs. - and lost 50 IQ points?

Will Trump replace Dr. Fauci with Jenny McCarthy?

It looks to me that Fauci is playing a razor-edge game. He is probably trying to remain there to protect his staff from a massive cull. When he retires and Twitler is voted out, there is this auto-biography waiting for a voracious public to snap up. And FWIW, and he will never tell, I reckon Comey had a covert recorder going at his first meeting with his Orangeness. Wouldn't you?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 17 May 20 - 08:45 PM

Further comment on quack cures and coronavirus misinformation and confusion

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 17 May 20 - 04:13 PM

Johnson's Antidote, by Banjo Paterson

Some excerpts:

Johnson was a free-selector, and his brain went rather queer,
For the constant sight of serpents filled him with a deadly fear;
So he tramped his free-selection, morning, afternoon, and night,
Seeking for some great specific that would cure the serpent's bite.

.........
It will bring me fame and fortune! In the happy days to be,
Men of every clime and nation will be round to gaze on me --
Scientific men in thousands, men of mark and men of note,
Rushing down the Mooki River, after Johnson's antidote.
It will cure Delirium Tremens, when the patient's eyeballs stare
At imaginary spiders, snakes which really are not there.
When he thinks he sees them wriggle, when he thinks he sees them bloat,
It will cure him just to think of Johnson's Snakebite Antidote.'

.........

And the scientific person hurried off with utmost speed,
Tested Johnson's drug and found it was a deadly poison-weed;
Half a tumbler killed an emu, half a spoonful killed a goat,
All the snakes on earth were harmless to that awful antidote.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Helen
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:52 PM

While searching for more information on another thread I found this:

Andrew Barton Paterson's poem Johnson's Antidote (Paterson is aka A.B. Paterson or Banjo Paterson.)

(Warning: there are some outdated expressions referring to race in the poem but he wrote his poetry early last century.)

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 01:58 PM

Will Trump replace Dr. Fauci with Jenny McCarthy?

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:37 AM

He has gained 50 lbs.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 16 May 20 - 10:35 AM

They keep playing his idiotic and hypocritical quote about testing being overrated on the news shows and it occurred to me the in that clip he recently must have dosed off in his tanning booth because he looks like a reversed image of a red racoon.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 16 May 20 - 07:21 AM

In the ignited states of amnesia people forget that Trump has essentially stolen immigrant children from parents to this day.

This is like Rumplestiltzskin when the woman makes a wish that her dead husband come back to life to see their child. Rumpelstiltskin grants her wish, bringing her husband back for one night, then tries to steal the baby from the mother with an attempt to eat the baby's soul.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 16 May 20 - 06:12 AM

A writer friend of mine refers to the turnip as ‘Trumpelthinskin’. Sounds about right to me.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: John MacKenzie
Date: 16 May 20 - 04:05 AM

You get the POTUS that big business paid for, and that the Electoral College ignored the facts for.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: gillymor
Date: 15 May 20 - 06:59 AM

Another gem of wisdom from the mind of the "stable genius" yesterday -
"And don’t forget, we have more cases than anybody in the world," he added. "But why? Because we do more testing. When you test, you have a case. When you test, you find something is wrong with people. If we didn’t do any testing, we would have very few cases."
And of course the people around him in the West Wing are tested frequently and he claims he is tested daily which he seems to think makes him immune to the virus. How could a POTUS be this
stupid.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Mr Red
Date: 14 May 20 - 01:49 PM

Arseburger's syndrome

President Shitbird's

Yea that figures.

Subject: RE: BS: In Praise of the Turnip
From: Donuel
Date: 14 May 20 - 08:41 AM

A great many individuals with autism are also intellectually disabled.   Those with Asperger's syndrome, in contrast, must by definition have suffered no cognitive delay during their first 3 years of life. 2 This means that they will usually have at least a “normal” IQ. In some cases, their IQ may be very high, even in the genius range. There are, however, different kinds of smarts.
Turnips are as dumb as they sound.