Subject: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 13 Aug 21 - 10:24 AM In the Daily Mail (I know, I know) I saw this: 'My last bird watching trip was rather disappointing. Egrets, I saw a few. But then again, too few to mention.' This made me laugh because a few months ago a load of twitchers (birdwatchers) descended on our village to catch a glimpse of an egret lurking by the river Wensum. Just thought this might amuse some of you! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Sandra in Sydney Date: 13 Aug 21 - 11:22 AM did they see it? We have a spot on Radio National on Sundays mornings between the current affairs shows. "Tweet of the Week" which is followed by a chirpy noise & the description of the tweeter & it's habitat. 30 mins later someone is announced as the winner & quite often comes from the opposite side of the country from the mystery bird. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Donuel Date: 13 Aug 21 - 11:52 AM I can hear Frank Sinatra singing. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: leeneia Date: 13 Aug 21 - 11:58 AM Hi, Senoufou. That's a good joke. Twitchers aren't bird-watchers, though. Twitchers (called listers in America) are interested in seeing as many types of bird as they can. They keep a list of their "conquests." There seem to be competitive, testosterone-based elements in twitching. (As in the movie 'The Big Year.') Birdwatchers are happy to see birds no matter if they have seen them before. The DH and I are birdwatchers. We would be happy to observe one egret. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 13 Aug 21 - 12:40 PM Ah sorry leeneia,I didn't intend to insult birdwatchers. And I didn't realise there is a different meaning to,'twitchers'. But these people, (yes, mostly men!) seem to go whizzing around Norfolk to take photos of our numerous and uncommon birds (hen harrier, bittern, egret for example.) "Oi reck'n they're furriners, not from Nooooorfolk." I think the Frank Sinatra song ('I did it my way') is often played at funerals. I reckon my husband (if I predecease him!) will have 'The Sound of Silence' by Simon and Garfunkel played, hee hee! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 13 Aug 21 - 12:42 PM And Sandra, yes they did indeed see it. Plus left a load of blooming litter lying around near our bridge! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Dave the Gnome Date: 13 Aug 21 - 01:26 PM I'm pinching that :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Mrrzy Date: 13 Aug 21 - 03:54 PM I confused twitchers with tweakers. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 13 Aug 21 - 05:23 PM One good tern deserves another. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 14 Aug 21 - 03:27 AM Haaghaaaagh Helen!!! Very good hee hee!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Dave the Gnome Date: 14 Aug 21 - 05:22 AM A flock of sea birds ate my crop of marajuana. There was no tern left unstoned. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Jon Freeman Date: 14 Aug 21 - 07:38 AM "But these people, (yes, mostly men!) seem to go whizzing around Norfolk to take photos of our numerous and uncommon birds (hen harrier, bittern, egret for example.)" I guess it depends on the egret, Sen. Going by the RSPB site, the little egret is a reasonably common sight in Norfolk (and I think both on the Broads and parts of the coastline - even I have seen them) these days. I guess the great white egret might be one to get the twitchers out though. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 14 Aug 21 - 07:51 AM You're quite right Jon, it was indeed a Great White Egret. A bit like a stork, and about the same size. Dave, that's really funny too! I'm waiting now for some puns on 'tits'!! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Bill D Date: 14 Aug 21 - 01:02 PM Free suntan lotion at the nudist colony.. Motto: "No stern un-toned". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 14 Aug 21 - 02:49 PM Senoufou, I used to read a little book at the library where I worked. I can't remember the title or the author but it was a blooper-type of collection of quotes from the BBC radio and TV. One of my favourites was someone on the radio earnestly talking about birds and in the middle of the speech s/he said, "Great tits like watermelons". And a song for you: Ibis seeing you in all the old familiar places |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 14 Aug 21 - 02:54 PM In Oz, the black headed ibis is also known as the bin chicken or the bin bandit. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 14 Aug 21 - 04:19 PM This is off topic, but sort of related. I just stood on the verandah looking at the apricot-coloured pre-sunrise sky. I was listening to the butcher birds, the magpies, a kookaburra, another bird that I can't identify with a beautiful clear song, and a couple of other bird types, and watched some of the fruitbats flying slowly back to their roosting spots in the mangrove trees near the creek, next to the harbour. In the last couple of weeks I've realised that one of the most common calls of the Spotted Dove around here sounds like they are saying, "the vaccine, the vaccine, the vaccine...." over and over. A paid advertisement from the health service, perhaps? |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 14 Aug 21 - 04:31 PM "The vaccine, the vaccine, the vaccine" that's really hilarious Helen!! And very topical of the spotted doves! Our local wood pigeons call out "Fooooood! Foooood!" when I sprinkle some bread on to our lawn for them. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 14 Aug 21 - 04:43 PM That's funny. My cat says something similar. She also says, "Out! Out!" when she wants to go outside. Actually, it's more like "ow-w-wt" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Steve Shaw Date: 14 Aug 21 - 05:06 PM The wood pigeons round here (pains in the 'arris, Gawd bless 'em) say "My toe's sore, Betty! My toe's sore, Betty!" - over and over again. Listen again if you don't believe me! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Malcolm Storey Date: 14 Aug 21 - 05:51 PM I thought it was "see two cows paddy"!! Blacktoft yesterday officially quiet according to the warden We saw little egret, grey heron, spoonbill, marsh harrier, sparrow hawk, two or three hundred lapwings, blacktailed godwit, coots, numerous ducks, several snipe as well as a starling pretending to be a small wader! Also lots of different bees and other pollinators, various butterflies and dragonflies. Always worth a visit even on quiet(?) days. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Donuel Date: 14 Aug 21 - 09:08 PM Mine say CHee Burger |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 15 Aug 21 - 03:50 AM Ah Malcolm, that almost exactly describes the wildlife around here too! Being on the river Wensum and having several small lakes as well, we get loads of dragonflies (had a hawker in the front garden only yesterday - not a salesman, a large, dark-brown dragonfly!) and all those birds you mention. Not to mention cock chafers (now there's a cue for a joke!) It's funny how people from different regions attribute different words to the call of the wood-pigeon. Here it's "My toe bleeds, Betty!" which is their dawn chorus. The "Food Food!" is only when I appear later and scatter breadcrumbs for them. Husband hates their racket early in the morning. His personal dawn chorus is, "Ces bloomin pigeons m'amerdent! Eh-boh dah!" (These bloomin' pigeons annoy me. F*** off!" (Mixture of French, 'Norfolk' and Malinke. He's trilingual) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Mr Red Date: 16 Aug 21 - 06:43 AM Egrets, I saw a few. But then again, too few to mention cue raptorous applause |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Dave the Gnome Date: 16 Aug 21 - 07:01 AM I dunno about tits, Eliza but this presenter on Springwatch used an unfortunate phrase :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 16 Aug 21 - 07:59 AM 'deepest shag you've ever had?' Haaaaghaaaaagah!!!! This thread will be censored before long I reckon. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Donuel Date: 16 Aug 21 - 08:14 AM We have always censored reality. Finally we are starting to censor the lie. Here we have egrets, loons and storks. I've met a very friendly stork only a meter away in NC. He must have been too exhausted to fly away. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 16 Aug 21 - 05:16 PM Just wondering. Did you "get" the joke about the ibis? Pronounced "eye'-biss", with a strong emphasis on the first syllable. Oh well, I thought it was funny. :-D |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 16 Aug 21 - 06:06 PM Yes Helen, I did get it and like you thought it was very funny! It makes me think of a person with a blocked nose "I biss you by dear!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 16 Aug 21 - 08:25 PM That's funny. I remember when one of my sister's kids was young and had a blocked nose. She was laughing because he was calling her "Bum". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Malcolm Storey Date: 16 Aug 21 - 08:53 PM This bloke went to the doctors and said "I've a strawberry up my arse" "Not to worry" said the doctor "I've some cream for that" A well known sportsman was being interviewed and the subject of sports peoples superstitions was mention. "So" said the interviewer " and do you have any superstitions?" "Yes" came the answer "I always put my socks on before I put my shoes on" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 16 Aug 21 - 10:46 PM Senoufou, I was just worried that the word "ibis" might be pronounced differently outside of Australia e.g. "ee-biss" or "ibb-iss" and then the joke would have made no sense at all. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Steve Shaw Date: 17 Aug 21 - 05:29 AM Here's one that works ten times better when it's spoken rather than written: In the Olympic park I met a man who was carrying a very long stick. I asked him, "are you a pole vaulter?" He said, "No, I'm a German, but how did you know my name was Walter?" (Best German accent required, natch!) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Malcolm Storey Date: 17 Aug 21 - 07:30 AM About thirty or so years ago I got quite friendly with a German couple whilst on holiday in Spain. The chap had apparently been in Russia during the war. "How was it" I asked "Bloody cold" he replied - so some German's do have a sense of humour! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 17 Aug 21 - 08:36 AM Letter in the Daily Mail:- "Visiting the seaside resort of Felixstowe, I witnessed a terrible incident. A couple having a blazing row started hitting each other with sticks. The husband threatened the baby. Then a policeman arrived, drew his truncheon and belted this hapless man senseless. I stood there open-mouthed. To cap it all, a crocodile arrived and ate all the sausages!" I was actually believing this tale until I got to the crocodile bit! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Nigel Parsons Date: 17 Aug 21 - 10:02 AM "That's the way to do it!" |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Senoufou Date: 17 Aug 21 - 11:52 AM Marvin Gaye used to keep a sheep in my vineyard. He'd herd it through the grapevine. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Malcolm Storey Date: 17 Aug 21 - 07:10 PM We had a friend who we always referred to as Colonel - he was never in the army - just a bit of a nut! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Andrez Date: 17 Aug 21 - 08:23 PM Look at what lockdown does to your sense of humour! - What do you get when you cross a bull with a male sheep? Bullsheep! Better go back into lockdown before the virus finds me oim tinkin :-) Cheers, Andrez |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Mr Red Date: 18 Aug 21 - 02:11 AM True story, and quite a few sessionista fall for it when I show them. I had a beater made for my Bodhran, out of walnut I only take it for the craic |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 18 Aug 21 - 03:41 AM I've been trying to resist telling this joke, but I can't seem to stop myself. Sorry in advance. A man goes to the doctor, naked but wrapped completely in cling wrap/Saran wrap and says, "I'm not sure whether I am going mad". The doctor says, "I can clearly see you're nuts". |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Steve Shaw Date: 18 Aug 21 - 04:41 AM Doc tells a bloke the bad news that he hasn't got long to live. "What! Oh God....How long have I got, Doc?" "Ten..." "Ten? Oh God! Ten what? Days? Weeks?? Months???" "Don't interrupt! Nine...eight...seven..." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Dave the Gnome Date: 18 Aug 21 - 07:23 AM Talking of Marvin Gaye, How do you turn a duck into a soul singer? Put it in the oven until it's Bill Withers |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Steve Shaw Date: 18 Aug 21 - 10:33 AM Doc says to bloke who's just come round, "I have some good news and some bad news..." What's the good news, Doc?" "We only had to amputate half your leg after all!" Ah, that's good! So what's the bad news, Doc?" "It was the top half..." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: MudGuard Date: 18 Aug 21 - 03:10 PM > 'My last bird watching trip was rather disappointing. Egrets, I saw a few. But then again, too few to mention.' Hm, I have read this quite a few times by now. But I don't get the joke. (I got the ibis one, and the watermelon one, but not the egret one) Maybe it is because I am not a native English speaker ... I had to look up the word "egrets" - ok, that's some white bird feeding on fish. Doesn't help to get the joke ... Could someone please explain? Thanks! |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 18 Aug 21 - 03:23 PM Hi Mudguard, Whether we like Frank Sinatra's singing or not, the song My Way is very difficult to avoid. Frank Sinatra - My Way "Regrets, I've had a few, but then again too few to mention..." |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 18 Aug 21 - 03:40 PM I have to say that the egret joke would probably defy the mighty powers of Google search, so I doubt very much whether you would have found it easily unless someone had already posted it on the internet. :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: MudGuard Date: 18 Aug 21 - 06:12 PM Thanks Helen - Sinatra is not "my" music - and I don't know the full lyrics of "I did it my way" ... So it is a pun on egrets vs regrets ... |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Helen Date: 18 Aug 21 - 06:43 PM Not "my" music either. It's just a pun on that particular line. |
Subject: RE: BS: Funny Joke From: Doug Chadwick Date: 18 Aug 21 - 06:58 PM ...and I don't know the full lyrics of "I did it my way" ... Some people have all the luck! DC |