New Year's Tavern 2022

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 22 Dec 21 - 12:09 AM

The wombat saves the day! and night, & season ...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: JennieG
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 08:58 PM

The giant wombat unfolds itself from the box in which it has been residing and slowly ambles toward the door of the tavern, bearing aloft a plate of - could it be? - yes, it is! - jello salad, in all its wondrous rainbow glory!

The terrible secret of the box is revealed!

Pushing aside the Covid and all to do with it, wombat decrees the Tavern to be a Covid free zone. No mentions of the plague at all, just joyous fun.

And jello salad.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: keberoxu
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 08:45 PM

This place is so notorious that the
Skifflemassers are talking about it behind your collective backs.
(and heaven help me, I'm listening ...)

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 10:11 AM

One particular bat wonders who gave those pepperoni slices that rapier to brandish...

Having warmed sufficiently, said bat makes a grateful guano deposit between the Ivorian toes, steals a dripping, buttered crumpet from the nearby old lady and flutters over to the bar, where they hang upside-down from the wooden embellishments so the butter doesn't drip all down their nice brown fur, but only up their nose...

A sneeze! Oh, no! The Covid cops start to swoop in with masks, gloves, and sanitizer...

The bat disappears in the scrum, squeaking No! It was the (crunch) butter! Really!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 07:09 AM

Max arrives late with a large sack on his back brimming with home spit Covid tests. Dave the Gnome perks up yelling "Lets test the bats"!
The Auroch brushs the pangolin aside and begins feeding at the jello pit. Squiddy, dangerously over heated, leaves the hot tub and is flopping toward the cool lime green jello.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Roger the Skiffler
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 04:59 AM

I know I'm barred from the tavern(honestly when I booked "Ghislaine's Girls" I thought they were a tapdancing troupe!). Just to say, don't drink from the jello pit. It's been filled with Covid Vaccine.
RtS

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 21 Dec 21 - 12:44 AM

The squid! The squid!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 08:41 PM

From the Pool Room Squiddy squeals, "No, not in the hot tub!" and a giant tentacle sweeps the disinfectants to the floor and well away from the hot tub.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Tattie Bogle
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 08:02 PM

A posse of masked men (or they might be women too?) arrive at the door, brandishing - not pistols - but mobile phones. “ Here are our latest LFT results” they sing in chorus. “Can we come in?”
“Depends whether you mean lateral flow tests or liver function tests” says the mega-bat at the door; “and whether you’ve brought your own crumpets; no sharing these days unless you’ve sanitised first!”

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 09:16 AM

Tossing a prarie oyster in the air, with a blur of rapier swipes, four slices of p o peperroni fell atop a pizza. An impeccably dressed man approached and said "The Kingsmen could use a fellow like yourself".

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 08:53 AM

Heavens, how dashing! cries the bat from the left foot, in a rather obscure literary allusion... And echo answered, Count the spoons!

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 08:45 AM

At the fireplace he draws his rapier and, with a thrust worthy of Errol Flynn, neatly skewers four marshmallows and begins roasting them over the coals.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 07:24 AM

The Gnome opens one eye and mutters incoherently. No, it isn't the drink. It's a Covid test swab down the back of his throat...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Donuel
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 07:08 AM

Two unknown individuals in masks AND Hazmat suits pulling a small wagon walk in.
We have a pizza delivery for a M. Rapper?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Senoufou
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 04:44 AM

A rather plump old lady waddles into the tavern and spots a huge spider's web hanging from the ceiling, its occupant is fat and hairy. She screams blue murder, and the dear little bat flies upwards and gobbles up the spider, to be embraced with great gratitude by the biddy. Her African husband proffers his warm feet and the bat settles comfortably on them to warm his toes.
"Any crumpets?" she asks. "Any Old Speckled Hen ale?" Big smiles as these appear at the table.
"'appy Chreeessmas every bodee!" grins the African. "And God bless us every one!" laughs Old Lady.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 12:38 AM

One of the bats flies towards the door (well, in a lot of directions but averaging towards the door), coughing, and squeaking (or trying to) It's the dust! Not the virus!

But it's cold outside. Getting the coughing under control, the bat stops blowing backwards when trying to fly forwards, which bodes well for later carousing... And heads back into the Tavern, where most motes are moot, having wafted floorward, shelfward, barward and otherwards. Someone is opening windows and checking the outlets for mice...

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 20 Dec 21 - 12:36 AM

eek! poor wombat

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: JennieG
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 11:28 PM

Almost.....the box is bursting at the seams......because it contains no only the giant wombat, but something even more terrible.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 11:11 PM

anyone seen the giant wombat? was the box large enough to contain it?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Ebbie
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 09:44 PM

It's been a long time. As I push the squeaking door open, dust rises and momentarily resembles mosquitoes in the chilly air. I'll get the fires going and then, if the dustmop is in its usual place I'll get to it right smart.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Rapparee
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 09:05 PM

Leaving his steed lightly tied to the hitching post, he loosens his rapier in its scabbard. You never know, he thinks, and who knows what is lurking inside?

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 08:53 PM

There was an Amazon driver lost up one of those small English lanes that I heard about earlier - I think he had a large box with air holes in it in the back of his van. I bet once he leaves that box on the right porch there will be more activity in the tavern. One of the attendees mailed him or herself to the venue. I'd bet money on it.

Subject: RE: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: Mrrzy
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 03:00 PM

Lower your voice, please! comes faintly through the door.

Ok, growls the coachman in a rich basso profundo, how's this?

Subject: Christmas Tavern 2021
From: GUEST,Ghost of Christmas passed/past/passé
Date: 19 Dec 21 - 02:50 PM

There it sits, lonely and the windows draped with cobwebs. The door knocker is green with oxided brass and the gargoyle on the roof is asleep and shivering in the cold night air. From inside come the sounds of a giant squid correcting its young and, of course, the eerie sound of the old pipe organ being played. The resident bats flutter wildly.

Outside the Cóiste Bodhar, gayily decorated with holly and mistletoe pulls up, the coachman descends, and in a deep voice says, "I've come for a drink! Open 'er up!"