BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 14 Apr 23 - 07:47 AM

I intend to bring my Republic of Ireland passport as ID.

I have a UK one, and UK driving licence at al, but somehow the Irish one feels most appropriate.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 14 Apr 23 - 05:57 AM

"The irony, or course, is that polling officers will prefer to suppress people's legitimate right to vote on the grounds of their ID not being sufficient - eg their passport being near expiry,'

My passport is 9 years out of date but I will be taking it with me.

Photo ID you'll need

++ The photo on your ID must look like you. You can still use your ID even if it has expired.++

If they don't allow me to vote i will ask them for some form of receipt which states that fact. I have not seen any info about that though.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 14 Apr 23 - 05:04 AM

it probably won't as tories tend to have a higher proportion of postal voters. The irony, or course, is that polling officers will prefer to suppress people's legitimate right to vote on the grounds of their ID not being sufficient - eg their passport being near expiry, whereas with postal votes there is no way of knowing if a single householder decided who the rest of the household is voting for, and has coerced the voters to sign the ballot as their are less checks at post boxes than there are at polling stations. Surely, we need to ensure that polling officers are stationed 24 hours/day at every post box, a polling shelter at each box in case it is raining, and for voters to provide ID before completing their postal vote. At least that way we can be satisfied that the actual voter will be voting without interference behind closed doors.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 14 Apr 23 - 02:47 AM

I see Truss is now blaming Biden, the establishment and "woke politics" for her downfall. Google it. Plenty of reports. Politics is getting really sickening to me. Not only do we have inept or corrupt bodies ruining the country, they are also gutless and unable to admit their own failures.

On another subject, I have, for the first time, registered for a postal vote. I just can't be arsed waiting in line for polling staff to explain to all those who have not got ID why they cannot vote. I do hope it backfires on the Tories an that the blue rinse brigade who love Bozo so much have no ID as well.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK polemic topics - 2
From: Donuel
Date: 07 Apr 23 - 08:43 AM

The absurd support of Trumpism, extreme rightism or Thatcherism need not go as far as Germany's final solution and Holocaust. But it could.
The pendulum of societal norms can get small incremental pushes from victimization and hate politics.
Given enough pushes the pendulum can go so far right that it goes up and all the way around full circle.

Decency and goodness are not automatic safeguards to stop the pendulum from spinning all the way around. Decency is fragile. Goodness and love are invisible aromas while hate is incendiary and full of smoke. In this time when three major religions are preaching self-reflection, and that God's love is supremely powerful, they are only hopes of faith.
Daily good deeds and condemnation of evil are both required to create change. I can see how the unfair distribution of resources are a greedy evil and that royalty is a symbol of that wanton greed.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Apr 23 - 05:36 PM

God, all this bloody nonsense about what Camilla (she who connived in years of cheating on Diana) should be called. I give not a shit. Far more interesting is the Guardian's exposé of the finances of the royals, not just recently but down the centuries. Taking millions from us every year in benefits payments (what else would you call it?) and simultaneously milking us to death via their two major duchies. Go on, have a read. Appalling.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 05 Apr 23 - 03:54 PM

I fear that distance may be lending enchantment to the view there, Dave. In many regards, this lot are the legacy of Thatcherism. Don't forget what the latter did: turned the utilities that should never have been privatised into the Wild West, selling super-cheap shares to red-wallers to make them into Tory-voting mini-capitalists, freeing up the City and the banks so that they could do what they bloody well wanted to make themselves super-rich, creating illusory booms, and, less than three decades down the line, and connived in by New Labour, sending us all (except them) in 2008 into hellfire for a decade. Oh, and destroying whole industries and communities along the way.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 04 Apr 23 - 03:05 PM

As much as I detested him, Thatcher, Tebbit and the rest of the motley crew, I would have them back tomorrow if they replaced this load of con merchants.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 04 Apr 23 - 09:17 AM

...And when I heard Cameron on the World At One eulogising about him (mostly) and justifying his errors (hindsight), I threw a whole boxful of pingpong balls at the wireless. To think that he was "running" this country a few years ago. If anyone needs to disappear permanently into a great big hole, it's Cameron.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Apr 23 - 05:50 PM

To compound the agony we now have Norman Lament eulogising about him on Newsnight. I wonder whether I can find a channel with Bugs Bunny on it...

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 03 Apr 23 - 05:40 PM

So, Nigel Lawson has gone. I for one won't be shedding a tear. If ever there was a man who was wrong about everything: Europe, privatisation, deregulation of the finance sector, creating the economy of the spiv, brexit, climate change... We shouldn't speak ill of the dead so I'll stop right there.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 02 Apr 23 - 03:41 AM

Those things haven't gone, SPB, just changed

Workhouses=zero hours contracts
Bad healthcare=privatisation
Slavery=abuse of immigrants
Child labour=see slavery
European facsism=see Tory party
Berlin wall=Brexit
Gallows=Rwanda

Etc.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 01 Apr 23 - 12:45 PM

Are you suggesting that we should never attempt to make changes? Do you miss workhouses people dying of treatable conditions because they couldn't afford healthcare, slavery, child labour, European fascism, the Berlin Wall, people sent to the gallows for petty crimes, slums etc ec?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 01 Apr 23 - 07:34 AM

Doing 'something about it" is not important

Doing "something about it THAT WILL POSSIBLY WORK".is a different matter

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 01 Apr 23 - 05:30 AM

Better facilities for young people, better policing, striving for greater equality, educashun (well if you can misuse "alternately" I can misspell "education"!)

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 01 Apr 23 - 04:54 AM

Tut-tut Nigel! Bad language being used by the pompous, self-righteous nit-picker who had the temerity to excoriate me for doing exactly the same thing!

Wot a f***ing hypocritical plonker!

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 09:23 PM

Steve:
Well number one, spot the shitmakers. Number two, make sure you've got the right culprits. Number three, prove it. Number four, force the jackets on them. Number five, make them do what you want, arbitrarily and without legal backing. Shades of Dixon of Dock Green feeling the villain's collar and the villain meekly saying, OK, it's a fair cop, guv. I've just spotted a cuckoo in the clouds. Next stop, bunches of vigilantes. Maybe a posse or two.

Alternately, assume that you can do F*** all about it, and allow it to continue.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 01:39 PM

Sorry, not Watson. He did join the shadow cabinet but he never missed an opportunity to brief against Jeremy. I did have plenty of others to choose from, of course.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 01:35 PM

My fat finger hit the send button prematurely when I posted this before, plus I got my italics in a mess. Please ignore and consider this version instead.

Ahem:


This is a below-the-line comment on a Guardian opinion piece written by Andy Beckett (the part in bold is a quote from Beckett's article):

'A leader who effectively expelled his predecessor from Labour in parliament despite Corbyn’s 40 years of dedication to his constituency and 10 consecutive large local majorities.’

To say this is a mistake doesn’t do justice to the enormity of the damage this will cause party and country.

What the country needs, above all else, is unity - unity of purpose and unity of vision.

It’s bad enough that Keir didn’t support Jeremy through the expensive [extensive??] character assassination deployed against him by the right wing press.

Jeremy Corbyn is not an antisemite.

To deny him the chance to stand for Labour furthers this outrageous injustice yet more and ostracises swathes of loyal supporters, many of them the abandoned young who found a natural home under Jeremy’s leadership. These are neither ‘extreme’ nor the ‘loony left’ as the tabloids would also have us believe; they are, like our founder (after whom Keir has the honour to be named) simply socialists and socialism should be our raison d’etre - our vision, not the unmentionable word it has become under Keir’s leadership.

The right wing of the Labour Party (a relative term) threw Jeremy under a bus by refusing en masse to join his shadow cabinet: arguably, they thereby threw the country under a bus by helping to condemn Labour to inevitable election defeats. Your Yvette, your Nandy, your Watson & co., assisted ably by that horrid cabal led by John Mann and the highly disreputable Margaret Hodge with their dishonest and confected antisemitism campaign, did more to ensure that than the Tories and the Mail could ever do. Of course, that's exactly what they wanted. No price was too high to pay for getting the lefties out and refashioning the party in their own expedient image. What was once a proud, left-wing party that rebuilt this country after the war in the face of Tory opposition is now a party in which, if you say that you're a socialist, you're in danger of being booted out.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Geoff Wallis
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 12:52 PM

I was extremely fortunate to have Jeremy Corbyn as my MP for almost thirty years. It would be extremely hard to find a more decent person and one more honest and committed to improving the lives of his constituents. Starmer's not a true socialist and his desire to punish Jeremy Corbyn is utterly reprehensible.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 12:36 PM

My mistake. I thought he had been expelled but it seems not yet. If he stands as an Independent candidate in the election he will be expelled.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Backwoodsman
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 12:25 PM

”I was not surprised by the decision to not let Corbyn stand.”

I’m not surprised by the decision either, but I regard it as a big mistake. In a Party which is supposed to be a paragon of democratic virtue, it seems to me that MPs of widely-differing views is a benefit, not a disadvantage. If for no other reason than that JC is an excellent constituency MP, he should be eligible to stand for re-election.

”I assume that his expulsion from the party still stands.”

Has he been expelled from the Party? My understanding is that, whilst he lost the Party Whip and has been barred from standing for re-election, he is still a Party member, but I could be wrong on that. Please correct me if I’ve got that round my neck!

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 31 Mar 23 - 11:07 AM

I liked this below-the-line comment on the same piece:

"Just surprised go see comments actually open on this, no articles about the Corbyn expulsion have been open to comment for days, not even Steve Bells excellent cartoon a few days ago."

It amuses me to see what The Guardian allows readers to comment on.

I was not surprised by the decision to not let Corbyn stand. I assume that his expulsion from the party still stands.

I am more surprised at the involvement of the central party in the selection of candidates to stand in elections. Telling 19 Leicester councillors that they could not stand again in the forthcoming local election, does seem a little strange. As far as I am aware, those 19 had not been expelled from the party before they were told they could not stand as a Labour candidate.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 30 Mar 23 - 06:26 AM

'Course, that's a day out of date now! Never mind. We had the uselessly unconvincing Rachel Reeves to "entertain" us this morning. Woe are we.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 05:48 AM

And we had Dominic Raab this morning, rattling on about the housing of "illegal immigrants" (talk about putting everyone in the same box, "illegal" or not...) in hotels as an "abuse of taxpayers' money." The interviewer, Justin Webb, tried to pin him down about whether he had a barge, but that piece of racism completely bypassed him. This is the same Dominic Raab who wasted a million pounds of taxpayers' money in a nine-month period (when he was foreign secretary) chartering private flights to take him all over the world when he could have used scheduled flights. Lovely man, eh?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 04:47 AM

Glasgow cruise ship contract ends

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 04:45 AM

Mooring during covid is a bit different. There were lots moored around Weymouth, for example. But they were moored as effectively 'empty' ships, not 'full and working' ones. I gather some were also docked in Glasgow and Edinburgh to host some Ukrainians, so it is not impossible, of course, but the problems and costs should not be underestimated.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 04:21 AM

Cruise vessels were moored up during the covid period. Some moored here in Dover for short periods. They would not be able to moor in working harbours now of course.

Here’s what's happened to the cruise ships anchored in the Firth of Forth

Cruising is Out, But Enthusiasts Can Still Visit Laid-Up Cruise Ships

There will still be costs as they cannot be avoided no matter how the situation is dealt with.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: SPB-Cooperator
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 03:47 AM

Braverman's constituency, Fareham, is by the sea, and all the costs can be met by Fareham's council tax payers.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 29 Mar 23 - 03:14 AM

So the latest wheeze being talked about is putting asylum seekers on cruise ships.   

To me, this sounds like an idea of the top of someones head that will face huge problems if/when it is implemented. It is possible, of course, but let's think about a few problems.

1. Where is it moored?
If it is in a dock, that ties up facilities that would normally have a different purpose. You don't want it in a place where cruise ships are active, because it reduces capacity. The same applies to industrial ports. Also, no town is going to be particularly happy with this permanently added to their coastline.

ON the other hand, if it is moored off shore, how you get people and from to it is problematical. How is it staffed, for example? It will need fuel for electricity and water purification; how do you restock that? Similarly food and waste management. Then, if it is simply moored a little way from the coast, it will be as unwelcome for the townsfolk as if it is physically docked, but if it far enough out to be out of sight, you amplify all the supply problems.

2. How much does it cost?
If it is moored off shore, the fuel costs to produce pure water will be many times the cost of using a normal water supply.Similarly getting all other supplies to the ship will be multiples of the cost incurred by mooring on-shore. Equally, the logistics of getting asylum seekers on board and off more or less constantly will not be trivial.

Then cruise ships are designed to be economically efficient when they are full. No cruise ship with a capacity of 5000 will run at all effectively if there are only 500 'guests'.   That means when you first start operating you need to fill the ship immediately and then you have little or no capacity to add more.


3. How is it staffed?
Again, this is not too much of a problem if the ship is docked, but a huge logistical problem if it is not. I would expect you would need a staffing model similar to working on an oil rig.

4. How is it maintained?
The ship will need to meet and maintain all the regulations for a ship. For example, the evacuation procedures will need to be maintained and practiced regularly. Then the physical structures must remain seaworthy. All more costs.


So, in practice, I think the most viable option is to have the ship permanently docked.   But, as I say, that ties up facilities, and that will have a substantial cost as well, both financially and politically.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 11:00 AM

Like I said, not easy to put into practice.

It can also be said that those who live in towns and those who live in the country, have different experiences when it comes to anti social behaviour. They both might well prefer an alternative punishment instead of prison though.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 10:50 AM

Well number one, spot the shitmakers. Number two, make sure you've got the right culprits. Number three, prove it. Number four, force the jackets on them. Number five, make them do what you want, arbitrarily and without legal backing. Shades of Dixon of Dock Green feeling the villain's collar and the villain meekly saying, OK, it's a fair cop, guv. I've just spotted a cuckoo in the clouds. Next stop, bunches of vigilantes. Maybe a posse or two.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 10:39 AM

The idea of people being made to clear up the shit they have caused appeals to a lot of people, both those who vote tory and those who vote labour. Not so easy to put into practice though.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 10:19 AM

This idea of instant punishment reminds me of Blai's idea of marching offenders to the cashpoint. Alistair Campbell says be tried to dissuade Blair from saying that because it was unworkable, but these sorts of ideas are appealing to people who don't stop and think "What are the problems with that?"

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 09:13 AM

We could always make shorter knives. Sorry, I'm in super-cynical mode today. Aims may be laudable but they're still aims. Ah, what's this, a newsflash. I see we've got Humza. Unban everything again!

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 08:16 AM

"Let's face it: this is a pre-election Tory tough-on-Laura-Norder stunt, and Labour have to go along with it, led by the nose, in order to not look weak."

I thought Labour were already leading on it, promising to halve knife crime incidents, as well as reduce crimes against women. Promise? Not sure how that will work out. They are laudable aims though.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 07:44 AM

Well I've seen plenty of rubbish fly-tipped but I've never seen anyone fly-tipping it. If I wanted to fly-tip I'd make bloody sure no-one was watching first, a bit like those people who let their dogs shit on the pavement (Now stopping that WOULD be something useful!). Let's face it: this is a pre-election Tory tough-on-Laura-Norder stunt, and Labour have to go along with it, led by the nose, in order to not look weak. A bit like stop-the-boats. Isn't politics fun. Anyway, Kate Forbes for SNP leader! Ban everything! March those kids to the Wee Free! That'll learn 'em to not be antisocial!

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Senoufou
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 07:29 AM

Our Norfolk roads are a disgrace, littered with loads of chucked-away rubbish. People just seem to throw their cans, take-away bags etc from their car windows as they drive along. Also, we've noticed a lot of fly-tipping (huge plastic bags of rubbish left in lay-bys). In the past, a van used to collect all this up (two council employees) and take it off to the tip, but we haven't seen them around in ages.
I like Dishy Rishy's statement about catching the messy litterers and tidying up the country, but I can't see it coming about. The Police are now very thin on the ground.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 06:18 AM

So apart from banning laughing gas they're going to force shouty teens to pick up litter in hi-viz jackets and make graffiti artists clean it off again. I think they should bring back the birch, bring back conscription, bring back the stocks and bring back ducking stools. Or save all that bother and just cut off their goolies.

By the way, I've seen acres of graffiti in my time but I've never actually seen anyone doing it. Never mind. I'm sure that all those extra Tory cops will be out and about 24/7 with their high-powered bins. And when they're not actually graffiti-spotting they'll be arbitrarily deciding what's antisocial and what isn't. Wheee!

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 04:04 AM

Aye, Rain Dog, that laugyhing one is a gas :-)

More seriously, 3 people I know very well have been forced out of the Labour Party by the infighting over local council candidates. Sadly, when the party should be doing all it can to unseat the shower that are destroying the NHS, they seem more concerned with ensuring all its representatives adhere to Starmer's centrist (read right wing) line :-(

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 27 Mar 23 - 03:18 AM

A Labour national executive committee (NEC) tells 19 sitting Leicester councillors that they cannot stand as Labour candidates in tbe forthcoming council elections.

The tories announce plans to ban laughing.

What is this country coming to?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 24 Mar 23 - 02:24 PM

So if Starmer had published his figures earlier, would that have prompted Sunak to do the same?

Of course you and I live in a country where tax matters are a private concern. We have just seen 2 rich people declare how much tax they have paid. Not sure what the vast majority of the country feel about that.

Have Labour announced any plans to change CGT? I am not aware of any such plans.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 24 Mar 23 - 02:10 PM

No, he did it in reaction to Fishi releasing his, because his numbers looked ten times better than Fishi's and because most of his tax came from what he was paid for going to work.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Rain Dog
Date: 24 Mar 23 - 01:08 PM

Typical government(of whichever party) behaviour when it comes to burying 'bad' news.

Do you think Starmer waited for the same reason?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Mar 23 - 07:03 PM

And call me Mr Cynical, but Fishy Rishi published his tax returns at the exact same time that Boris walked to the stand. What was all that about burying bad news...?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: DMcG
Date: 22 Mar 23 - 06:25 PM

I was supposed to be out all afternoon but the event was cancelled, so I got to watch the entertainment as well.

When he was clearly losing his temper with the first set of questions I thought the whole thing was going to erupt, but after that he managed to keep himself more or less under control.   But it was very striking how the questioners and the chair kept telling him to answer the question and stop waffling, which I am sure he did not like at all.   A few very sharp questions that he had especial difficulty with, such as whether every manager in the country was permitted to have leaving drinks for their staff, which he fumbled for what seemed quite a while before essentially saying 'yes'.

A particular moment of amusement occurred right at the end when having argued all along he could rely on the advice he was given, it was put to him that Downing Street was so big and complex with so many people that no one could have known that, and he heartily agreed, insisting it was a very important point. Not noticing, apparently, that it contradicted almost all his testimony.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 22 Mar 23 - 02:14 PM

Well that was three hours of my life I'll never get back...

I nearly threw something at the telly when he said that loads of people up and down the country had probably also not been complying perfectly with social distancing rules. Well people were forced to see their loved ones die alone as he was raising glasses with his cronies. I couldn't visit my profoundly deaf mum in her room at her home for the last seven months of her life, having to settle for once a fortnight ten feet apart with a perspex screen between us. Mrs Steve and I complied with every rule to the letter, including the mask rule, despite my contempt for it. The bastard.

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Steve Shaw
Date: 21 Mar 23 - 02:47 PM

Nigel, I've often bitterly criticised New Labour for widening the gap between rich and poor, for failing to correct the Tory lack of regulation of the banks and for supporting Bush in the invasion of Iraq. I'm more than happy to bitterly criticise New Labour for cheerfully continuing the Tory Ofsted regime that has done so much to ruin teaching in this country. Fair enough?

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Mar 23 - 02:41 PM

I did not intentionally or recklessly use the word knowingly instead of intentionally:-D

(Yes, Nigel, that is preempting you)

Subject: RE: BS: Brexit & other UK political topics - 2
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 21 Mar 23 - 02:21 PM

I can, at long last, thank Boris Johnson for something. If his defence is accepted it sets the precedent for many others

I did not knowingly or recklessly exceed the speed limit.

I did not knowingly or recklessly take the bottle of 21 year old malt from Tescos without paying

I did not knowingly or recklessly kick my local Tory MP in the nuts...