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Song Challenge! Part 18

Áine 21 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 01:44 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 01:45 PM
Sorcha 21 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM
MMario 21 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 04:58 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 05:24 PM
Áine 21 Mar 00 - 05:26 PM
Lin in Kansas 21 Mar 00 - 06:08 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM
Barky 21 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 08:41 PM
MMario 21 Mar 00 - 09:05 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 10:03 PM
Áine 21 Mar 00 - 10:23 PM
Amos 21 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM
Mbo 21 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM
Barky 22 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM
Hyperabid 22 Mar 00 - 12:00 PM
Hyperabid 22 Mar 00 - 12:01 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:07 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:33 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:37 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 12:43 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM
Mbo 22 Mar 00 - 01:07 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM
Áine 22 Mar 00 - 02:16 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 02:35 PM
MMario 22 Mar 00 - 02:55 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 03:01 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 05:15 PM
Bradypus 22 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM
Áine 22 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM
Bradypus 22 Mar 00 - 07:13 PM
Amos 22 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM
Lin in Kansas 22 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM
ceitagh 22 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM
Eluned 22 Mar 00 - 10:57 PM
Áine 23 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM
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Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:29 PM

Now for the custard throwing seals -- or something just as good! This Challenge! idea comes from Amos (and we all know what a little devil he is...):

Beelzebub Bytes!

Forget about viruses and malicious hackers; the real threat these days is far more insidious. Your home computer may have the Devil in its data, say Reverend Jim Peasboro of Georgia. "... the Computer Age has ... opened yet another door through which Lucifer and his minions can enter and corrupt men's souls."

Rev. Jim says he became aware of the problem from counseling churchgoers. "I learned that many members of my congregation became in touch with a dark force whenever they used their computers," ... "Decent, happily married family men were drawn irresistibly to pornographic Web sites and forced to witness unspeakable abominations." "Housewives who had never expressed an impure thought were entering Internet chat rooms and found themselves spewing foul, debasing language they would never use normally," he declared ... One woman ... confessed to me, 'I feel when I'm on the computer as if someone else or something else just takes over.'"

The minister said he probed one such case, actually logging onto the parishioner's computer himself. To his horror, an artificial-intelligence program started spontaneously. "The program began talking directly to me, openly mocked me," he said. Then the device went haywire and started printing out what looked like gobbledygook.

"I later had an expert in dead languages examine the text," the minister said. "It turned out to be a stream of obscenities written in a 2,800-year-old Mesopotamian dialect!" The minister estimates that one in ten computers in America now hosts some type of evil spirit. The Reverend advises anyone suspecting that their computer is possessed to consult a clergyman, or, if the computer is still under warranty, to take it in for servicing. "Technicians can replace the hard drive and reinstall the software, getting rid of the wicked spirit permanently," he says.

However, there is some good news -- Only a PC built after 1985 has the storage capacity to house an evil spirit, the minister explained.

There ya go! So, grab your mirrors, salt and wooden stakes and GO FOR IT, CHALLENGE!RS!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:44 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O I take delight in playing with my Whammo And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:45 PM

LOL!!! I had forgotten that one. Evil spirits need high storage capacity? How do you reckon, Reverend? STORAGE capacity ?-- one kilobyte for good, two kilobytes for evil? Sheesh....the convolutions boggle the mind! Now, if it were memory capacity he was talking about I could understand how an Evil circuit would require a minimum number of swicthes in order to get complex enough to be evil....but storage? Naaaawww....

Some take delight in cruising for porno
Others take delight in cruisng round the Horn-O
I take delight in playing with my Whammo
And irking all the devils who reside within my RAM-O.

Musharingumdurrumdaaaaaa....

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Sorcha
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 01:55 PM

This needs some thought............I'm boggled by this one!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 02:12 PM

LMAOWROTF!!! (note foul, debasing language) It would be even funnier if was tongue-in-cheek, but I have the horrid feeling the guy was serious! I live in Kansas, belly-button of the rabidly religious right ("right rabidly religious?"), remember?

I can't resist this one...will send my entry as soon as I can get my guffaws under control! Thanks, Amos--great pick!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 03:50 PM

Barky -- you go, girl! You should be able to do this one proud....

Everyone know the devil-in-the-computer problem only applies to WIntel machines. Demons hate Macs. There's too much saintliness in the ROM chips and it makes the place uninhabitable. I knew there was a good reason for choosing Macs!!! LMAO.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:36 PM

COMPUTER YOU"RE THE DIVIL

Computer you're the divil, you're leading me astray
On the 'net and forum, and into cyber-space
You're a faster, smarter, vid-center
You're three-dee stereo!
Computer you're me darlin' saved or damned-oh!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 04:58 PM

Okay, here goes--

There's no tune to this one, but "Trouble in River City" might work???

THE REVEREND JIM AND THE DATA DEVIL


Now listen Brothers and Sisters, listen hard to what I say—
Lucifer's secret ain't so secret any more!
He's got a real head o' steam up, and he's headin' out your way—
Comin' in by Windows and the door!

If you wanna save your souls from Hell you gotta pay attention—
The Prince of Darkness can be awful sneaky!
He has tempted you poor sinners in lots of ways I hate to mention—
And now he's made your hard drives leaky!

CHORUS:
With his hand upon his Bible and his thoughts up in the stars
Reverend Jim fights the good fight every day!
His heart's in the right place, and his head is up his arse
Down in southern Georgia, so they say!


There's a dark and horrid force a-risin', you gotta guard against it well—
Foul corruption and debasement they abound!
Mrs. Johnson's talkin' dirty, Mr. Roberts thinks it's swell—
To stare at nekkid pictures he has found!

Sister Maggie Mae, she tells me, "Rev, this is really horrid—
Suddenly my family's Demon Spawn!
My hubby's scouting porn sites, and droolin' on the keyboard—
And the dog's out screwing cats on the lawn!"

CHORUS:

This here's not a force to fool with, it's evil and it's vicious—
In your computer it will find a place!
It skulks in through the ether; it's vile and it's pernicious—
It takes over all your PC's storage space!

It's a Mesopotamian demon, so a language teacher told me—
Press the switch and listen to it curse!
It talks in tongues and gibberish in a dialect of old—gee—
We know the only ones can do that are in church!

CHORUS:

You got to wrestle, Brothers and Sisters, be fast and hard and mean—
Replace your PC's guts within the hour!
Rip out its filthy innards, and wipe your hard drive clean—
Check for 666 on the tower!

And once you've done all that, then just give me a call—
And I'll bring over salt and a cross!
Then we'll hit our knees a-prayin' and storm the gates of Heaven—
And show that evil spirit who's the boss!

CHORUS:


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM

Oh no....Aine, these Challenge!s just keep getting WORSE and WORSE!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:24 PM

Oh, Lord, Mbo!!! Try to develop a sense of humor, will ya?

Aine, you made my day!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 05:26 PM

MMario -- That's a fantastic beginning! Please keep on going, OK?

JL -- I thought I was gonna die laughing!! The rest of 'em is gonna have to think hard, 'cuz I do believe we have a brand new Guinness Crest winner there! Ouch, my sides are killing me!!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 06:08 PM

Thanks Aine!

Kinda reminds ya of one of those Brush Arbor Tent Meetings that used to show up all over the Texas Panhandle when I was a kid, don't it? Rev. Jim woulda been right at home! (Hey, maybe he was...?)

And Amos, don't get too cocky about Macs not having demons--Lucifer loves a challenge! (Saintly ROM, indeed!)

Lin (whoisstillgigglingmadlyatthementalpictures!)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM

Alright, alright...

(Tune, Devil's Radio by George Harrison)

Curse him, curse him
Curse him, curse him

I heard a voice last night
Sayin' words that demons speak
Coming from the depths below
Of my Devil's Presario

All hours of the day
On ICQ and more
Evil words back and forth they go
On my Devil's Presario

Oh yeah, curse him
Curse him, oh yeah!

Um....ok so this isn't working well. I'm gonna stop and try something else later.

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:05 PM

Mbo: How about "The Devil Got In My Backup"? I'm fighting a bug fever just today so I may not get one in on time...


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Barky
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:14 PM

I think only angels like Macs, because Macs are too pretty for the demons, and angels like me deserve pretty things. (Like iBooks.... hint...... hint........)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:29 PM

B: So where's your song? A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 08:41 PM

Angels, hee hee! I must be earning my wings then, because I'm SLOWLY getting the hang of using Macs. The bell will ring eventually! CLARENCE I'M COMING!!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 09:05 PM

Computer you're the divil will be continued, but probably not for a while....trying to get ready for a road trip which will keep me away thursday eve until probably tuesday....and I KNOW if I try to do up the verses for the chorus I'll submerge and never get to North Carolina!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:03 PM

OK, here we go again...

(Tune, The Devil Danced In Empty Pocketsby Joe Diffie

Well I was staring at my monitor screen, just the other day
"Command and Conquer" is by far my most favorite game to play
But suddenly I heard a sound which made my blood run cold
The devil started speaking, and havoc started wreaking, on my poor PC's soul

CHORUS
Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!

Well I was down at the Mudcat Caff, checking out the DT
As I strolled along, I found a song tailor made for me!
And as it printed off, I gave a cough, for I knew it weren't the norm
Cause it printed a whole ream of phrases quite obscene in Sumerian cuneiform!

Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!

Now they say the Net is God sent, you bet--the most useful thing since the nail
But I can't see the Maker, just that rotten soul-taker, now I can't even check my mail!

Now the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time
He corrupts my files with his wiles, and won't let me go online
And as he raises cain on my daisy chain, all I can do is whine
Oh the Devil plays inside my modem, and he has a hell of a time!


--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 10:23 PM

That's one of your best there, Mbo! Way to go! Any chance we can get a 'blues' song out of you on this one??

MMario -- Remember the Official Mudcat Songbook Policy for Late Submissions -- Anything, Anytime! We'll all be expecting a masterpiece when you get back . . . hee hee hee . . .

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:27 PM

Mbo, you just get better and better! I love that -- you oughta record it for a week from Wednesday!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 21 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM

I'll sure try, Amos. I got a surprise for tomorrow night, though! ;{>

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Barky
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:44 AM

OK: Someone in the Barky/Amos family isn't looking forward to Wednesday, and it's not Amos. Who could it be?

~Barky


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:49 AM

But why not, dear girl?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Hyperabid
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:00 PM

Ah the fire and brimstone scent of a bible being bashed…

Every word you type

To the tune of Every breath you tale

V

Every word you type
Every link you hype
Every site you see
They belong to me
I am watching you

V

Every single day
I wait to make you pay
Try to make you stray
If you're straight or gay
I'll be tempting you

C

Oh can't you see
These things were made for me
How your will may break
With every link you take

V

Every time you're mailed
Morality's assailed
'Cos you're dumb enough
To dial up this stuff
My will will prevail

Bridge

Now you're on I will send stuff in bad taste
Direct you to porn sites in a lustful haste
Won't be long before your soul's in my embrace
I am waiting for you through a tease

La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah
La-nah-nah-nah

C

Oh can't you see
You now belong to me
Doomsday's bound to be
'Cos you've bought a PC

V

Every single day
You parish tilts my way
Except for one priest
You're all for the beast
He is watching you

He is watching you

(Rallantando) He is watching you

(Sound of demonic laughter)

Hyp


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Hyperabid
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:01 PM

Sorry tune should be Every breath you take by the police

Hyp


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:07 PM

Hyp, that's hilarious! This Challenge is really rich! I have about three I want to write for it but am having trouble finding time. Hope this one runs through the weekend... Goddess, hear my prayer, and I will sacrifice a set of old used silk-on-steels....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:08 PM

Hyp--

LMAO!!! I can just hear someone like Tom Jones doing this song--Love it!

Aine, for some reason this challenge really hit my funnybone--could it be my PC is already infested? Can I submit another one, huh, huh, can I, huh, can I pleeeeze?

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:23 PM

GOOD ONE HYP!! Ha ha!

The Devil's got my Gateway
And he haunts my internet
The Devil's got my Gateway
And he haunts my internet
Folks say he's got more power here
Than in my TV set

I was on my e-mail
Just the other day
I was on my e-mail
Just the other day
But all I gots were messages
Sayin' things only Satan'd say

I went onto a website
To buy a new horn
I went onto a website
Just to buy me a new horn, Lord
But when the page it opened up
It weren't nuffin' but porn

I tried to ICQ my man
About our gig down at the pub
I tried to ICQ my man
About our gig down at the pub
But all the names on my active list they changed
To Satan, Old Nick and Beelzebub

Now my preacher man he told me
The Devil's in the Internet
Now my preacher man he told me
The Devil's in the Internet
Mephisto's behind it all
And he's trying my soul to get

Now all I see all day on screen
Is the flame and the sword
Now all I see all day on screen
Is the flame and the sword
So I took myself a sharpened stake
And drove it through that motherboard!!!
DA DA DA
DA DA DA
DA DA DA
DAT DAT DAT DAAAAAAA! UH!

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:33 PM

Hee hee! Great stuff, Mbo.

Lin, you can, according to tradition, submit multiple entries on a single challenge.

See Section 3.2.4 of The Gaelic Goddess Process Manual for the Management of Insane Creativity in Virtual Communities which printed itself out mysteriously on a laser printer belonging to a convent of salubrious Mennonite nuns in Akron, Ohio at dawn on Saint Patrick's Day two years ago and has since been circulated in samizdat style amongst sensitive geeks everywhere.


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:37 PM

Oh, what the heck, I think I will--It's such a tiny little bit of plagarism, I feel sure no one will notice. (Where'd that evil chuckle come from? BatCat, was that you?) This is my last one, honest, I promise...unless of course, it's too late for my PC's innards already...what the heck is that playing on Real Audio? Weird accent, sorta Mesopotamian...? Nah, can't be.... Agggghhhhh! Was that a naked possum that just flashed across my screen? Ackkkkkkkk!

Lin (who is getting more nervous by the second...)


WHEN THE DEVIL AND THE KID MET UP
(To the tune of—aw, you know already)

Well, the Devil went down to Georgia
He was workin' on a hacker's deal
He was on a roll stealin' PC's souls
Makin' virus scanners reel.
When he came across this young man surfin'
On the Web for interesting spots
And he slid in the wires and turned on the fires
And gave that kid the hots.

Ole Devil twisted and the kid's hand jerked
And without any hesitations
Next thing he knew he was witness to
Unspeakable abominations!
Buns and boobs and raunchy scenes
He'd never imagined before
Flashed across his screen while he turned pea-green
And his jaw dropped to the floor.

Devil whispered soft, "I can show you where
A million of these are.
You can spend your days in a horny haze
With porno movie stars!
All you have to do is buy a new drive
With a gig of storage or two
Load this small pro-gram that takes over your RAM
And let it talk to you."

But the kid was brave and he heard the lure
In old Satan's silky tone.
Though his brain was steamin' from mad wild dreamin'
And his groin was molten stone,
He yanked that plug from the surge protector
Picked up his PC and ran
Straight out of the house (draggin' the mouse)
And tossed it in the can.

The Devil bowed his head
Because he knew that he'd been beat.
And he laid a golden CD
On the ground at the young man's feet.
He said, "You've won this round for sure,"
Then he grinned an evil grin.
"But watch out boy, there's more'n one ploy
To lead you into sin."

The kid picked up the gold CD
And he spun it in the sun.
He told Old Scratch to take a hike
And find some other fun.
Then he broke that CD across his knee
And handed the pieces back.
Said "Take your minions with you Devil,
I'm switchin' to a Mac!"


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:40 PM

Oh, JL! That is effin MASTERFUL!!!! You is a CHAMPEEN!! I love it to pieces!!!

I want you to make an mp3 of it and send it in to the Radio program for max to play! Can ya? Huh??!! Puleeeeze! GOD that is good. Tight and bright and just right. Way to go!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:43 PM

Only on prob JL...not to be picky or anything, but there's not prechorus and chorus like in the original. You want I should supply the missing piece?

--Mbo


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 12:50 PM

Mbo, that's terrific! Also love your earlier song--I fell in lust with Joe Diffie over If The Devil Danced In Empty Pockets--struck a chord, so to speak. I take back any negative comments I may ever have made concerning your sense of humor (you didn't notice? rats! another apology wasted! Oh well...)

Amos! Where can I get a copy of the GG's Manual for future reference? Wait--never mind--just found one on my printer--musta been sitting there since, oh, St. Pat's Day. Now, lessee, Section 3.2.4....

Lin

P.S. What in the world is samizdat style? (Duh....)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:03 PM

Geez, thanks, you guys--guess something just inspired me and "made me do it"--(were those footsteps? Sorta sounded like a cow, or a goat, or something--weird!)

Amos, I'd love to do an MP3, but I dunno how, being technologically challenged--could I talk you into doing it if I ask really nice?

Mbo, if you insist on completely (as opposed to just mostly) stealing the song, please feel free to add the missing bits--

WOW! Aine, this is being SO MUCH FUN!!!!

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Mbo
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:07 PM

JL.."Stealing"? FEAR NOT! This is parody writing! It's highly encouraged, and better yet, we are free from copyright infringements too!

--Mbo (glad ye like Average Joe...he's so cool!)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 01:31 PM

Samizdat is a Russian word describing how, in the days of Soviet oppression, essays and newsletters offering independent thought, a very dangerous rhing, would be circulated by people from hand to hand, sometimes copying them in their basements on typewriters, or mimeoing them -- it has crept into circulation to mean underground distribution of politically risky stuff.

I would be proud to put your song on tape, JL. I'm not polished, but I can stomp 'em in my old gravel voice. I'll have to wait for weekend. I need to look up the tune. I'll put the mp3 on a website where you can go download it at your leisure.

If Mbo is going to flesh out the song, he can just post the revision here. Welcome to the Whacky Folky and Jokey Poet's Society.!!

Warm regards,

A


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:16 PM

My, my, my, my, my, my, MY!!! I'm off larning a new song and here y'all are just havin' too much dang fun!!

Amos -- Upon reflection on and reference to Section 13.6.6.6 of The Gaelic Goddess Process Manual for the Management of Insane Creativity in Virtual Communities, it seems that lengthening of any Challenge! is allowed upon the whinging, begging and offering of gifts to Herself by any Challenger! So, we'll just leave this open to the air until you have time to send in your entry. Besides, I'm having trouble coming up with something as good as the rest of y'all! Dang!

It's great to see y'all gettin' together and helping each other out -- The Spirit of the Mudcat lives and thrives!!

Write on, my Challenge!rs, Write On!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:35 PM

You're terrific TGG -- I'm grateful. You give good divinity! :>) (blush).


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: MMario
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 02:55 PM

Amos? you got fudge? *preparing to pout, and that AIN'T a pretty sight!*


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 03:01 PM

Dang, man -- here, have some! Wipe that pout off yer mug! I'd hate to be responsible for a huge low pressure area over your part of the country!!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 05:15 PM

Oooooo, fudge! Got any chocolate marshmallow?

Amos, that would be too cool if you're willing to record the song for me! (and I think you have a great voice, from what I've heard on Mudcat Radio). For the tune, would this help?

Click here

And many thanks for the explanation of samizdat--I'm always tickled to learn new publishing lore and/or history; books are my thing.

Mbo, if you opt to add to When the Devil Met the Kid, be careful--if your mouse starts to move on its own, don't look, just run! (I don't want to be responsible for any permanent traumas or loss of innocence!)

Aine--Section 13.6.6.6? How come that's not in my copy? (Hmmmm--there does seem to be a page gap there, though...?)

Lin (who is going to try to get some work done sometime today)


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Bradypus
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 06:50 PM

So much good stuff here already. For my offering, never mind the quality, feel the length.

If you don't know Screwtape and Our Lord Below, I'm sure you'll pick up quickly enough. If you know Screwtape, I hope you'll agree this would be his sort of thing.

Don't have a tune, unfortunately - it came to me as a sort of rap - but if anyone has any suggestions ... Screwtape's New Strategy

Screwtape said to his demons one day

Now listen close to what I've got to say.

Our Lord Below isn't pleased, I fear

Our quota of souls has gone up for next year.

The old ways won't be fast enough

So new technology's the only stuff

Computers now is where it's at

An opportunity for us, so we can wax fat

Just get yourself in your victim's PC

And use that new technology

The computers may be new, but the sins are the same

And we'll soon get good at this computer game

Now Anger's an easy sin to induce

And to make this work here are my views

Just find an important file or two

And corrupt their contents – that will do

Your victim gets angry, and you can grin

That's the first computing deadly sin

If it's Sloth you want, then you've got the tools

Bill Gates provides to all these PC fools

There are games like Solitaire and Freecell too

Get them hooked on those, that's all you've got to do

They'll soon be playing 'just one more game'

While producing nothing – and we're to blame!

For Lust, get your victim on the Internet

It's the best for Lust that's been invented yet

No matter where he goes, in a couple of clicks

You can have him viewing unsuitable pics

Or spam his e-mail to send him links

And encourage his habit, whatever he thinks

For Envy and Pride the recipe's the same

There's plenty of scope in this computer game

For someone or other has a flatter screen

Or a faster cpu, that will turn them green

For Pride set up your victim well

With more ram, fast modem– then with pride he'll swell.

Gluttony is not an easy sin to try

In the PC world – but no need to cry

Though the chips need salt, there are mega bytes

Memory greedy apps will put our world to rights

And as long as we can still inspire greed

For Our Lord Below we'll get the souls we need

For Avarice I've got an excellent plan

To tempt even the most upright man

Just use lots of words beginning with 'e' –

e-commerce, e-startup – then we'll grin with glee

As he reads of others making profits obscene

His love of money means we've got him clean

So you see my plan for this PC age

The new methods of war we'll wage

The methods may be new, but the sins are the same

Seven ways we'll catch them in this PC game

And Our Lord Below with joy will smile

And maybe be pleased with us – for a while!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 07:05 PM

Bradypus -- I hereby decree you the Winner of The El Supremo Golden Cow Chip with Gotcha Sauce! Boy howdy -- angst, humour, relevancy AND rhythm . . . I do believe my oft-repeated 'Well done!' does even come close this time . . . you've skunked us again, ya deeveel!

-- Áine


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Bradypus
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 07:13 PM

Gotcha Sauce - yum, yum!

Sorry I seem to have messed up the formatting this time - the verses have 6 lines each, if it helps.

Bradypus


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Amos
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 08:11 PM

Brady, that is toooo good. Theology-in-Rap-Master th'art, and all lesser rapping theologists must from you take instruction! LOL!


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Lin in Kansas
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM

Good grief, Bradypus! Funny and serious both, and you even remembered all of the seven deadly sins! Well done!!

(Mutter, mutter, mutter, envious, me? Heck no--bet s/he doesn't know the names of all seven dwarves!) **BG**

Lin


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: ceitagh
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 10:54 PM

Bradypus! that was awesome...relevant, funny, *and* semi-literary! C.S. Lewis would be proud....(or maybe not...i don't know what he thot of folk music) :-) And you managed to get all 7 in there too!

pax ceit


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Eluned
Date: 22 Mar 00 - 10:57 PM

LOL!! YOU GUYS (GENERIC TERM) ARE GREAT!!!!

Are they funnier if you use familiar songs? I'm not all that good at this, but I had a thought concerning the tune for "False Knight on the Road", and was wondering if using an obscure tune might make it less fun/funny/catchy....


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Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! Part 18
From: Áine
Date: 23 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM

Eluned,

Ancient, just old, yesterday's or no tune at all -- We'll take it!! Let's see whatcha got -- Sounds like a great idea to me!

-- Áine


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