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BS: OK, I'm Bored, So...
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Subject: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 12:49 PM ....so isn't it time to discuss MEN's body parts? Names for them, and so on? Or has that already been done? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Dale Rose Date: 28 May 00 - 01:06 PM I really am tired of all this. Sorry to offend, but I think it has gone on long enough. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,Professor Iris Date: 28 May 00 - 01:12 PM Any chance you could actually use whatever remaining grey matter between your ears is left, and think before starting a thread like this? (Let this one die folks.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 28 May 00 - 01:23 PM Professor: I went back and read some of your other comments.. It seems like is good enough for you... Praise while this thread isn't exactly normal for you or the Cat..I say WHY BE NORMAL...Lets have FUN folks... In our house we refer to THE part as "PEPE.". and when our boys are acting up we call them "PEPE BOYS.".. there I said it.Professor.. and I still have quite a bit of grey matter left thank you... |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 28 May 00 - 01:24 PM That should have read nothing is good enough for you.... sorry... |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: JamesJim Date: 28 May 00 - 01:27 PM Praise, if you are this bored, you need to be taking anti-depressants. Write a song or poem (about the male anatomy if you like). That might help. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 28 May 00 - 01:28 PM i'm not sure if anyone knowes or not but the Professor has directed people to some very strange sites.. some in fact that aol will not allow... interesting Professor.. now about the grey matter... KGH |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Megan L Date: 28 May 00 - 02:51 PM Well done Kelt there are more than enough threads to choose from so if someone wants to be sanctimoneous let them go to one of the other threads. Praise you need help, whats the problem? Festival starvation or overload? both can have very serious consequences for avid catters. Mind you I'm just glad to find other saints who have to occassionally trim their horns to stop them showing above the halo. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 03:26 PM Actually, in my boredom I just wondered whether the same good free fun would be had over this topic as was had by both genders over breasts. I am enjoying the responses, BTW, including the little diagnoses by people who do not know me at all! ~S~
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,Champion the Wonder Horse Date: 28 May 00 - 03:40 PM Not in the biblical sense, no. But I can bounce you up and down on my lap. That should give you something to brag about. Do it to me bay bee |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: TheOldMole Date: 28 May 00 - 04:22 PM Wow, Praise, no one seems to like you much, do they? Well, I like you, and I think it's a perfectly good subject for a thread, and the good news is, no one has to participate if they don't want to. Back around 1971, I was working for an anti-war activist magazine, and we ran an article by Andrea Dworkin about the political implications of sex with men. She wasn't opposed to the concept of sex with men, but she felt that the erect penis was a symbol of the oppressive patriarchy, so she argued that women should only have sex with men whose members were limp. It occurred to us, at the time, that there were a plethora of nicknames for a male organ at full extension, but there really weren't any good ones for a limp one. We decided that a "dworkin" worked quite well. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,The Pastor Date: 28 May 00 - 04:25 PM Perhaps this might solve your boredom problem, Praise? More time spent with one of these little "friends" means less time spent here, with your useless posts, and your little fan club of like-minded revivalist eunichs. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 04:36 PM Ooo-eee! WHY does this generate such a different discussion from the ones generated within the Breast threads???? ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Megan L Date: 28 May 00 - 04:39 PM That easy Praise men are less secure about themselves than women, we are now being asked to positivly discriminate in schools because the poor we souls don't perform well in class. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: TheOldMole Date: 28 May 00 - 04:41 PM Praise...I guess that little shrine of masculinity is still sacred? |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Amos Date: 28 May 00 - 04:55 PM I for one am very comfortable with John Henry. I don't understand what all the fuss is about. But he is very forward-looking and I think he must have experimented with the radical approach attributed to Ms Dworkin. (BTW I have only ever met one person in my life by that name and if it is he who married ANdrea and thus bestowed the name on her, she is just projecting her own disappoionting experiences on others! :>) The reason for the difference in response is that there is a much larger class of people who are open and avid boob-admirers. Where as the number of pecker-watchers in the world may well be as large but it is much less outspoken and much more "in the closet" as it were. Besides, peckers don't get in the way of folk mmusic as much, which is what started the boob thread off. :>) A |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 05:01 PM Or it may be because I failed to link the topic to music. OK, someone said write a song... wotthehell, let's make it a song challenge, then we can not only list all the names we can have a challenge to rhyme them. Hmmm, I started this, so I make the rules. Shall we or shall we not include limericks? I say yes, because they can certainly be sung. However for my maiden effort at a song on this I will not go the limerick route. OK, I'll make it based on what's already been posted here in the thread... quick review...
UNTITLED REFLECTION ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 05:02 PM Sorry I missed yours in the cross-posting, Mole, Amos, but I am out of verses now! ~S~ |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,Champion the Wonder Horse Date: 28 May 00 - 07:07 PM Good!Whoa there... |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Amergin Date: 28 May 00 - 07:20 PM JamesJim, antidepressants have nothing to do with boredom. Praise, don't let these bastards get you down. I like you. Amergin |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: katlaughing Date: 28 May 00 - 07:25 PM For those whose members may not be as liberated as Amos' John Henry, I suggest you make a visit to ....interesting reactions, here, all 'round, Praise. katwhothinkstheymayallhavebananasintheirpockets,anyway |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: katlaughing Date: 28 May 00 - 07:28 PM Oh, hell, mucked up the link. Try this one: Betty Dodson's site. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 28 May 00 - 07:32 PM I left for a few hours and couldn't wait to get back to this one.. I'm glad to see that some of us can treat this subject like the joke that it should be..OOPS... sorry guys "it" isn't a joke.. By the way a lot of my friends are pecker watchers.. Its really fun when guys wear slightly tight jeans.. right girls..LOL.. we have a good time deciding if there is underwear under there.... KGH |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: SINSULL Date: 28 May 00 - 07:52 PM Gee Praise, this is fascinating. The "Breast" thread went on forever without a peep out of any of the above complainers, at least to my knowledge. I suspect it goes back to the same logic which allows topless but not bottomless bars. Where is Spaw when we need him? Probably compiling a list of astronomic proportions (ooh, a pun). But maybe if you had started the thread with "How many of you have hammered your dulcimer?" or "Innovative methods for pounding your bodhran", the purists would not have objected so to the non-musical trend of your thread. My contribution: Johnson Salami Baloney Banana (for the vegetarians) Dick Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just glad to see me? cahones juebos balls marbles Praise, you owe me one. I've been trying to be more ladylike since the Jon fiasco. SS |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,Champion the Wonder Horse Date: 28 May 00 - 08:05 PM Nobody but Praise would title a thread "Ok I'm bored, So...' Come back to the stable, Praise, and I'll relieve your boredom We can talk about the first thing that pops up, babe. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: MarkS Date: 28 May 00 - 08:14 PM Having once seen Ms. Dworkin, it is no surprise that the members she most relates to are limp. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: GUEST,Champion the Wonder Horse Date: 28 May 00 - 08:21 PM Hey, that's my little sex toy you're talking about!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 10:56 PM *BG* Keep 'em coming folks! ~S~ Well, of course [*BG*]...you didn;t want me to say [tongue in cheek], didja? |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 28 May 00 - 11:17 PM Hey champ... I don't know about any of the others out there But I find that guys who brag are usually all talk.. get my drift...KGH |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: wysiwyg Date: 28 May 00 - 11:52 PM Now, now, KGH, no need to play that lil game!! Names? In verse even? ~S~
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: MK Date: 29 May 00 - 12:00 AM Check out (rent) Monty Python's movie "The Meaning of Life" and observe the scene with Eric Idol as the resident pianist in a very posh dining room. His little rendering of "Isn't It Awfully Nice to Have A Penis" pretty well sums it up. Delightfully executed as well! |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Racer Date: 29 May 00 - 05:56 AM Those first two responses actually kind of surprised me. You'd think that these people were obligated to read and respond to every single post on every single thread. I usually just don't respond to the threads that I don't like. I also don't click on the ones that I know are going to get me riled. That being said, I guess I'll join in the fun. I was just thinking today how much I think of that organ more than any other organ in my body. My heart, my lungs my stomach, and my brain all serve integral functions in the process of keeping me alive. My penis seems to guide me into all kinds of places that I shouldn't be. For some reason, I still trust it to make decisions for me. If I had a heart transplant tomorrow, or had to be put on an iron lung, I would live. I would eventually lead a happy life with whatever condition was forced on me as a result. These thoughts don't scare me that much. However, threaten to cut my dick off, and my legs snap closed so fast you could probably hear it for miles. I still think cathader(sp?) is a bad word. So bad, I can't even think of how to spell it. This has gotten rather lengthy. Twenty years from now, I'm going to look back on my mid-twenties(now) and wonder what happened. I just wanted to be one of the ones to speak candidly about a sensitive area. -Racer |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Mooh Date: 29 May 00 - 07:35 AM Never any complaint about my three inch member, my woman seems to like it that wide. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Helen Date: 29 May 00 - 07:50 AM I really liked the song called Detachable Penis - sung in an amazingly deadpan voice as if it were all very ordinary to have a penis he could take off whenever he wanted. Very clever. I also think it's interesting that the discussion of breasts, in whatever context, raises no moralising discussion because the moralisers are male, and like talking about breasts anyway, although usually only in male company. Men, as was stated above, seem very defensive about discussions about penises, or more specifically, about the one which matters most to them. An illustrative story: I was on a camping trip a few years ago with my partner's workmates and one night, at the communal kitche, there was a group of men and women we didn't know (they came from my home town, acted like it too - beer swilling, rowdy, partying on till all hours, etc). This particular night the group I was with decided to play cards - their usual evening entertainment apparently. The rowdiest of the men from the other group asked if we had a spare set of cards. As it happened one of the women had taken exception the year before to the use of a set of cards with pictures of naked women on the back so she had brought along, as a joke, a set of cards with naked men on them. We had been laughing about them earlier but we all thought they were pretty awful. When the other man asked for some cards this woman picked the naked men set up and threw them to him. He caught them & said thanks and started walking away, looking pretty pleased, until he looked down at the cards and saw the pictures on the back. It was like juggling hot potatoes - he couldn't keep them in his hands, it long enough to turn around and walk back to our table to return them. He was tossing them from hand to hand as if they would burn him, with all the appropriate sound effects as well. He threw them back on the table and almost ran away. If they had been the naked women set of cards the reaction would have been totally different, and no sense of outrage or moralising or any negativity at all. Double standards. Helen |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Helen Date: 29 May 00 - 08:11 AM Ok, here it is: the Detachable Penis song - well it's more of a monologue with a chorus which is sung. Helen Detachable Penis (music: Rick, Murdock, Xefos, Hall) I woke up this morning with a bad hangover and my penis was missing again. This happens all the time; it's detachable. This comes in handy a lot of the time; I can leave it home when it think it's gonna get me in trouble, or I can rent it out when I don't need it. But now and then I go to a party, get drunk, and the next morning, I can't, for the life of me, remember what I did with it. First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it , so I called up the place where the party was, they hadn't seen it either. I asked them to check the medicine cabinet, 'cause for some reason, I leave it there sometimes, but not this time. So I told them if it pops up to let me know. I called a few people who were at the party, but they were no help either. I was starting to get desperate I really don't like being without my penis for too long, It makes me feel like less of a man, and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak. After a few hours of searching the house, and calling everyone I could think of, I was starting to get very depressed, so I went to the Kiev and ate breakfast. Then as I walked down Second Avenue, toward's St. Mark's Place, where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street, I saw my penis lying on a blanket next to a broken toaster oven-some guy was selling it! I had to buy it off him. He wanted 22 bucks, but I talked him down to 17. I took it home, washed it off, and put it back on. I was happy again: complete. People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached, but I don't know. Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass, I like having a detachable penis. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Little Neophyte Date: 29 May 00 - 08:13 AM I have a funny story Remember those big plastic sunglasses, the ones you see a clown wearing. I mean they are really big glasses. Well, for a joke, I put them around my boyfriend's hips so that the nose piece fit just nicely on his penis. It was hysterical. It looked like some cool dude with a long nose and full beard. We developed the picture and had it blown up. Didn't stay on the wall too long, but long enough to get some good laughs. You had to stare at this photo for awhile to realize what you were looking at and when it finally dawned on you what is was, you could not believe what you were looking at! Bonnie |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Pinetop Slim Date: 29 May 00 - 08:49 AM I've heard it called a private, and the little general. Puts a new twist on the idea of pulling rank. Careful what you wish for: fellow walks into bar, pops open his brief case. A man exactly one foot tall pops out and starts playing Mozart. Neat, says the bartender, where'd you get it? By wishing on this lamp Can I try?,br> Sure Bartender rubs lamp and almost instantly the bar is filling up with one mallard after another Through feathers, bartender complains "but I asked for a million BUCKS." So you think I wished for a twelve-inch pianist? |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: kendall Date: 29 May 00 - 09:00 AM There is no double standard here.. to compare boobs with penis' is stupid. The main function of tits is to feed the offspring. The main function of a pecker is to impregnate the female. It's like comparing apples and oranges..no go. Now, to take this to a ridiculous conclusion, the human female bosom is the most beautiful form in nature. However, I have NEVER heard any woman say "My, what an attractive scrotum you have." Same goes for dicks. Lets face it folks, they just dont measure up!! (to boobs) |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Rick Fielding Date: 29 May 00 - 10:48 AM Jeesus H Keerist! (sorry Susan) I go to work on Heather's rock garden for a couple of days and THIS transpires. Sorry I didn't get in earlier. There have been lots of "goofy" threads lately...and I don't remember any line drawn in the sand saying "ok, that's enuff, now let's get back to serious stuff." Being bored is a natural fact of life...starting a humourous thread is a common occurence at Mudcat....oh, and JUST as predictable is the anonymous flamer. I prefer boredom and dorky threads to cowardice. 'Course when your name is "Rick" you've gotten used to neing called "Dickhead"! Rick |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: kendall Date: 29 May 00 - 11:11 AM Rick, just so you know, Gods last name is not Damn. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: keltcgrasshoppper Date: 29 May 00 - 12:27 PM Well said Kendall.. As far as that double standard goes.. Have always wondered why... we see soooooo many boobs bared for all in movies, ect... but.. we see soooooo few penis..or is that penie... whatever... WHY.. of course I'm sure that the porn sites are full of them..But is it because men are ashamed or embarassed ? I'm being serious here.. Why guys... For the most part men are making the movies yet we only get an occasional" but" shot..Relax guys you talk a great talk but don't want to show us much ...The human body is beautiful male and female...KGH |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Little Neophyte Date: 29 May 00 - 01:20 PM I once went out with a guy who drove an extremely expensive sports car, lived in the penthouse of a luxury condominium complex and was just finishing his residency in ophthalmology because it was essential for him to have a lucrative profession. At first, I thought his need to impress was because he was only 5 feet 5 inches tall but guess what? BB |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: katlaughing Date: 29 May 00 - 02:23 PM Small hands, huh, Bonnie? The deck of cards story is a classic example, IMO, of guys who are worried about liking or even looking at other guys, just as hetero guys, one to another, lest they be mistaken for any possibility of being homosexual. As for movies....well, it has traditionally been men in charge and what do men generally want to see bare-chested women or butt-naked men? Usually when we do get a shot of a male behind it is because a woman has directed the movie, as in Jane Campion's The Piano. kat |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Little Neophyte Date: 29 May 00 - 02:46 PM Yes small hands kat Come to think of it, I think this guy I was dating was even shorter, around 5 feet 2 inches tall. He was really, really short. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Amergin Date: 29 May 00 - 03:21 PM Nothing wrong with being short.. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: kendall Date: 29 May 00 - 03:30 PM Last sat night, I was HALF shot.. that was nice too. |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Little Neophyte Date: 29 May 00 - 03:36 PM Come to think of it Amergin, I think I am way, way too tall |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: catspaw49 Date: 29 May 00 - 03:38 PM Just like the other threads explored the problems of breasts from all angles, the problems of penes (yes, that's the plural...according to Bert anyway from a previous thread) are equally compelling. Like what DO you call it? I mean can anyone say penis without sounding like a complete asshole? People who DO say penis are also the ones who won't say fuck. They'd prefer some euphemism like carnal knowledge. Since the word carnal comes from meat, literally translated that would mean "To know the meat." I suppose that makes sense....especially if you fuck your butcher. So what do you call the thing? Personally I call mine "Joe Smackers" but I mean generically. I'm most prone to use "dick" most times, but there are alternatives: whang, tool, cock, peter (what's with the name thing anyway), pocket flute, dork, schlong, trouser snake, one-eyed frank, spout, etc., and not to mention all the ones used in jack-off lines like.....beat your meat, whip the bishop, pound your pud, bop your baloney, slam your sausage, spank the monkey, wind your crank.....or all those used to reference pissing, ie., 'drain my lizard' or 'shake the dew off my lily'. Men are odd about the damn things too. There is an unwritten, but strictly adhered to, rule that states: You shall not look at any dick other than your own while pissing in a public restroom. Talk about bored, you're standing there whizzing away and staring at the wall. To even glance sideways is akin to asking for an ass kicking---"What are you looking at you pissant rat bastard? You a fockin' homo or what?" Then of course there is size. Although its convenient to be able to pee anywhere, problems do occur. Last week I whizzed off a bridge about 30 foot over the Scioto River. I didn't mind that the water was so damn cold, but it was deep too and the bottom was about 2 foot deep in mud. Took awhile to dry as I reeled it in I tell you, and that damn mud didn't wash off the last couple of feet worth a damn so I had to run it out a second time. Spaw
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: SINSULL Date: 29 May 00 - 04:28 PM Thank God, Spaw finally made it. And he was compiling a list of astronomic proportions. Thanks, Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: OK, I'm Bored, So... From: Steve Latimer Date: 29 May 00 - 04:32 PM I'm currently reading Malachy McCourt's book "A Monk Swimming." He refers to his "Three Piece Set"
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