BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Easy Rider
Date: 01 Aug 00 - 09:59 AM

Of course, a guitar is heavy, and a case without its guitar in it is a lot lighter, but I have a visual technique, that works pretty well.

I have a brightly colored, braided, woolen tassle tied to the headstock of my guitar. I also have one tied to the handle of the case. When I place the guitar in its case, I leave the tassle hanging out, where it can be seen.

I can tell which plain black case is mine, just by looking for the tassle on the handle. I can also tell, just by looking, whether the guitar is in its case or not, by the presence or absence of the tassle, hanging out near the head of the case.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Grab
Date: 01 Aug 00 - 09:26 AM

Another 'animal lovers beware' one.

On a sailing holiday in Greece, we'd anchored in a bay and had to use the dinghy to get ashore. I'd rowed my mum and my sister across to the beach, and I was just coming back again with my dad.

We got out on the beach and started pulling the dinghy ashore. All was going well until suddenly I felt the back of the dinghy drop and my dad yelling in some severe terror! I looked round to see him hopping backwards at speed with one foot up in the air, shouting "It's a bloody octopus!"

I went to look at the back of the boat, expecting to find some Captain Nemo monster, and found the creature in question. The octopus had tentacles about 4" long at most. My dad must have stepped on it without seeing it, so it grabbed his foot. As far as adrenaline flow vs. size of threat goes, this must be somewhere well up the league table...

Grab.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Lena
Date: 01 Aug 00 - 04:28 AM

(as I spent the afternoon making ravioli,tortellini and gnocchi...and they were the BEST around)

So,I was about to be kicked back in Europe from the immigration office.Flight moved forward for six months until the last chance to get it before the ticket expired.A few hours before the check-in,I'm packing all my staff and I think about what to put in my handbag.Well,the passport,of course.The passport?!

It was in another house,in another town, one thousand miles away,in another State. (I got it back after a miracle)

Looks like we all miss some 'fridays',at the mudcat,he?!

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Kim C
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 03:47 PM

The first Civil War dress I made, I ended up sewing straight pins into the waistband. I poked them out as far as I could, then cut them off with wire cutters. The pin heads are still in there, five years later.

One time when we were packing to go to a reenactment, Mister brought what he thought was flour. AFter I cooked the bacon and wanted to make some gravy, he brought me the flour bag. I dumped some in the pan to discover it was not flour, but Powdered Sugar. Now I insist on checking the food supplies before we go camping!

So far I have managed not to leave my instruments anywhere, but I reckon my time's probably coming.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Les B
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 03:11 PM

This is a case of gross forgetfulness reported in our local papers a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it doesn't have a happy ending. WARNING, ANIMAL LOVERS MAY NOT WANT TO READ FURTHER !

The first story indicated a cowboy with a pickup and horsetrailer pulled into a roadside steakhouse with a dead horse tied to the trailer and dragging behind. He quickly loaded the carcass into the trailer and drove off. Someone at the steakhouse got his license number and reported it.

About a week later, the paper reported the cowboy had been found. His excuse was that he had been at a local rodeo, his horse had developed "stomach pains" and he had tied him behind the trailer to "walk them off," and had forgotten he was back there! Although the papers didn't say, I suspect alcohol was a factor. It's unclear whether charges will be filed.

I imagine this cowboy will have a hard time getting a job on any other ranches for about the next 20 years. "Yup, there's old Bill, the guy that drug his best horse to death !" Strange world we live in.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: catspaw49
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:36 PM

This thread is in need of some awards to the individuals who are sharing in it. I'd let to nominate Bonnie for "Kinkiest Post" right now. Meebo needs something for "Dullest Mistake".....not enough cheese??? Big deal!!!

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Jeri
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 12:09 PM

So I'm a member of the Yo Yo Ma club! Perhaps I'll get away with "If you love something, set it free. It will come back to you if you have friends who know where you left it."

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: RichM
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 09:17 AM

After dropping or dinging my guitar too many times at gigs, I replaced its soft carrying case with a sturdy protective one from First Quality Music of Louisville, Kentucky.

The case is fine; but its just that much heavier than a regular hard shell that at first, I could not tell by weight if the guitar was in it or not.

So of course, I did go to one gig with no guitar in case!

Just once--- but now I peek inside every time before I leave home...

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Whistle Stop
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 08:51 AM

A few months ago there was a story on the news that the great Yo Yo Ma had left his Stradivarius cello in a New York City taxi. It was recovered, fortunately. The rest of us shouldn't feel bad.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: kendall
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 08:21 AM

I left a show I had performed at in a town 60 miles from home. It was dark and raining. I sat my Taylor down on the asphalt of the parking lot, unlocked the car, my friend and I drove away. When I got home, I missed the guitar, so, I called the police in that town. They sent a cop to look for the guitar (try that in New York!) but, they called back to say, "No sign of it." I knew it had been run over, or stolen and wrote it off. The next day I got a phone call from the promoter of that show saying he had my guitar. I didnt leave it in the parking lot, it never left the building! Just as I was leaving that show, one of the performers was having a spell of some kind, and I was so distracted, I forgot I had laid the guitar down, and just left. Someone opened the case and looked at some of the notes inside, knew it was mine, and I got it back.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: InOBU
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 07:33 AM

Genie and I were at the home of the Popular Halfwit, in Devises, Wiltshire. I was craving a taste of the old Scrumpy, and Half said that the real good Scrumpy was in the worst pubs... rough neiborhood (In DEVISES! said to a New Yorker... who worked in the ship yards in Bed Sty... went to school in Harlem... lived on the lower east side...) Well we go to a delightful pub and have some great scrumpy and afterwards are walking up the road. SOmeone is running after us... the popular halfwit tells us not to turn around, just keep walking faster, now the fellow is shouting something... as he gets closer we hear... "Oy! Misses! Ye left yer 'andbag!" Sure enough, he was running after us with Genie's handbag, wallet, all our money, plane tickets, pasports, all intact.
God Bless the bad parts of town, eh?
Larry

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Thomas the Rhymer
Date: 31 Jul 00 - 01:05 AM

No honey, I know EXACTLY where we are, and where we're going, who do you take me for any way, I've been a woodsman since i was this tall, (I held my hand one foot below the top of the 4 foot shrubs we were crashing through)...what do you mean! i've been in these woods before and i know them like the back of my hand... YES, honey... this is this way... see those brambles over there? (standing waist deep in briars) their place is just past that ridge... I am not, honey are you coming with me or are you gonna just go back without even seeing if this shortcut of mine saves time (niether of us wearing watches,...hours have passed)...OF COURSE WE AREN'T LOST HONEY!!!! its just a little bit further, i recognize those trees and LOOK!,there's a house and a road and ....................NO HONEY, that COULDN'T be OUR house, we just left..........(to go visit friends).

We never made it to the party...

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 11:23 PM

My ex-husband never let me forget the time when he and I were swimming in the lake. We were horsing around in the water and I was riding on his back until he through me off when I peed on him.

Bonnie

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Mbo
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 11:18 PM

My sisters NEVER let me forget the time I stuffed a pebble up my nose when I was 3 years old, or the time I only put half a packet of powdered cheese on the microwave popcorn, now known as "The Cheese Incident."

--Matt

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 11:17 PM

Jeri, I once gave a friend a T-shirt with a silly, appropriate cartoon picure and just the first letter of each word to a sentence describing the stupid event.

You could have a shirt with a picture of a fiddle, and use kat's slogan; twwmhc...faf

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: GUEST,Barry Finn
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 11:06 PM

Lasagna, never ruined it, cause I've never tried cooking it but spaghetti. We had just put out from Maui going to L.A. & the skipper says to us, looking at me in particular being the greenest hand, don't be using any salt for cooking purposes there's enough of it every where & don't be using the fresh water to cook or clean with use sea water then rinse. It was my turn at the stove & I planned a great sauce for the spaghetti. Served it up with pride. Now mind you most of the others had been sea sick for the first few days out & were pissed that I was so green & chowing down like a one eyed cat. Well they were all there in the cockpit with a good drink in hand ready to suck down some tasty pasta. What a shock when they all started gagging & spitting, I thought I must've some how put poison in the sauce. When their voices finally came squeezing up through their throats they were asking (screaming) why the hell was the spaghetti so salty. For 30 days & 30 nights (that's how long it took us to make L.A.) I heard nothing else. I haven't used salt since then, over 20 yrs.
Hi Jeri, I can't begin to tell you what I've lost, forgot or did or didn't do.
Myself & a roomate were getting ready to hike the Appalacian Trail with a 3rd friend. We figured we'd do Mt. Washington & the rest of the Presidental Range for a week just to make a check list. We started hiking up & it started getting dark. I says, Allen did you bring a flashlight, nope, me neither. Two hrs. later when we're about to settle down, hey Allen, you got some water, nope, you guessed it, me neither. We decided then not to try the big hike, no sense killing ourselves.
Did I tell you about the time I lost my only set of footwear trying to cross into Canada via the wilderness because we were so broke customs didn't want our lives on their hands. Or the time when the Coast Guard tried to rescue us from sinking in Buzzard's Bay, we where doing just fine without them, sitting out a storm until they deceided to write us up for breathing & in the process broadsided us & then seperated our samson post from it's resting place & sent it into the air like a toothpick. Or the time..... Jeri, where'd ya put that fiddle? Barry

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Amos
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 10:21 PM

My first Gibson was a beautiful thing which a dear sister bought for me (new!) as a gift in 1972 and handcarried to Copenhagen where I was working. I had a great evening playing it, loved it, and we stayed up late drinking on someone's boat. Took a cab back and had to put it in the trunk. Months later I was still haranguing that damn cab company, but of course it never showed up. Sigh. But twice I have had a wallet with everything I needed to exist in it returned to me from miles off by honest people. One guy had to stop on the freeway to retrieve it for me 'cuz it was on the car's top when I drove up the ramp. Now that's going the extra mile!

A

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: kendall
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 09:43 PM

Back in 1961 or 62, the vessel I Captained was in the boat yard for a re fit. She was put into the water by a travel lift, a rig with slings which actually picks them up and l;owers them down gently. Just as the boat was almost clear of the wharf, the front sling broke, and I had a major row with the owner of the boat yard. The same thing happened on the way IN. Only that time it was the rear sling. Anyway, we finally got out of that place, piled all the gear aboard, got under weigh, was nearly out of sight of land when I realized that I hadn't brought my guitar aboard! I brought her about full speed ahead, and, sure enough, there was my old Gibson J-45 laying there on the wharf with not one soul around.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Mrrzy
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 08:42 PM

As someone who's put salt in my first cup of coffee a morning after a night before... bleeeaargch!

And Did You Know (blicky, anybody?) that you can make lasagna with raw lasagna if you do it in the microwave and add a little extra water? Works a treat and the meat (or whatever) juices really get through the noodles, you don't have to do separate assembly steps, and it takes about 2/3 the baking time.

Stupidest thing I ever did, according to my family: We were picking up my sister from college for the summer, I was about 11; I left my carryall on the top of the car (of course!) as we left Middlebury, VT to drive back to Boston. As we got there, I realized it had all my toiletries, and (remember this, Best Beloved, like the suspenders) we were supposed to leave to go back to Africa the next morning. I was just being delighted at having managed to lose my toothbrush... when everybody kind of all together realized it had also held my PASSPORT, TICKET and HEALTH CARD - which meant that not only might we have to get me issued a new passport, which can take months, but (to MY personal horror) - I MIGHT HAVE TO HAVE ALL THOSE SHOTS AGAIN!!!
Happy ending, which in family lore saved Daddy from killing me (when he died over a decade later, he was the only family member who still didn't think this story was funny!): Not only was there a message waiting from my sister's roommate when we arrived in Boston that the bag had been immediately found (luckily it did NOT stay on top even out of the driveway), but the person with whom we were staying had a friend who had private plane, and he flew ME (Whee! Dad was furious, Mom was getting me out of the way) to Burlington, where roomie handed the bag through the window and we flew back. It was great fun. And for years we all laughed at how poor dad still didn't think it was funny...

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Jeri
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 05:45 PM

Found Live's Most Embarrassing Moments. Thing is, the fiddle abandonment wasn't actually embarrassing, because when I left, everything was fine. Of course, there's always next week...and the week after, and...

For the T-shirt, I like "One fiddle shy of a jig." (Sounds like a band name or a CD title.) I like Mooh's soaring eagle idea. Well, I actually like them all, and I thank everyone who made a suggestion. How does "Have fiddle will travel. Don't have fiddle, will travel farther" sound?

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Gary T
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 05:26 PM

Well, Jeri, all I can say is "Nope, never did anything that stupid! Mind if I tell my friends?"

(Okay, that's one, there's room for 58 more, but remember, NOT 60 of us!)

Back to reality--hell, I can't even remember them all. Years ago, left my guitar, in its case, in my VW van parked on the street while I spent the evening in a bar. Came out to find the side door open, guitar and case gone. Then a couple years after that left my next guitar and case in the back seat of my car. Parked it on the street overnight. Next morning, broken window, guitar and case gone. Can you say "slow learner", boys and girls?

We take an annual 3-day canoe/camping trip on an Ozark river, carrying all our gear so we can camp overnight on the riverbank. One year one couple, who had been doing this with us for years, went through this exchange at the first night's camp:

"Honey, where did you pack the tent?"

"I thought you packed it."

"No, I didn't pack it, I thought you packed it."

They slept under a tarp on that trip. Fortunately, the weather made that a pleasant thing to do. Unfortunately, it's been over 5 years ago and I doubt they'll ever hear the end of it.

For your t-shirt--"I always know where my fiddle case is."

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Little Neophyte
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:55 PM

Mooh, I once did that too. I mistook the salt for the sugar and made horrible tasting chocolate chip cookie dough. I couldn't figure out what was wrong with the dough so I doubled up the batch making the same mistake.
The only thing that was missing was a little brother like you who would eat the stuff.


I once took my banjo to my friend's home who lives on an island in Temagami. One early morning we had to boat back to the mainland. It was so foggy that what usually is a 1/2 hour trip took us 2 hours of slowly making it through the fog. Once we got to the mainland I realized I left my banjo on the dock!
We had to do that slow 2 hour trip back and forth again because the fog still hadn't lifted.
She still teases me about it.

Bonnie

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: GUEST,Bob Schwarer
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:24 PM

Discharged from the Army in '53. So glad to be out I ran off without my discharge papers. But I went back and got them. Some things are important.

Bob S.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: AllisonA(Animaterra)
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:12 PM

Me! Me! I can ruin lasagna!
Now, I'll compete with Sorcha for best apple pie.. except for the time I forgot the sugar.
I've forgotten to add the chicken to chicken soup, the salt (or oil) to homemade bread, there are recipes in my files with reminders in 2-inch letters in red ink: DON'T FORGET THE ******!!!!!

But I also have an old camera tale with 2 endings. I was hitch-hiking thru England in 1978 and was in the Lake District. Had my beloved Olympus OM-1. Left it in the car that had dropped me off in the middle of 2 villages about 10 miles apart. Got to the youth hostel, found I no longer had beloved camera. An hour later, the young couple from Kendall brought it to the hostel- they had gotten home, found the camera in the back seat, remembered the name of the hostel, and drove all the way back to deliver the camera!
Took many lovely pix with that thing. Came home in May; 2 days later went to the theater in Boston. Left the camera on the seat. Never got it back again.(The second happy ending is that my dad then gave me his beloved OM-1 and I still have it!)

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Mooh
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:09 PM

One of my sisters once made chocolat chip cookies with salt instead of sugar, and though that hurt enough, I was the only one who'd eat them. I was very young, but my dunce cap was already showing wear.

For your t-shirt, "I may not soar with eagles, but I won't get sucked into a jet engine either."

Peace, Mooh.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: GUEST,Banjo Johnny
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:07 PM

Man, that baby on the Long Island Expressway story is the topper! Sounds like the makings of an Urban Legend. That is why I never put thing on the TOP of my car -- only on the front hood where I can see them before I take off. (I believe the Brits call it the "bonnet".)

Still, I am known in my family for entering a room and saying, "Now what the hell did I come in HERE for?" == Johnny

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: SeanM
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:07 PM

I will!

For some reason, I've never managed to make anything beyond mediocre lasagna. It always comes out too wet, too dry, too bland... SOMETHING.

Canneloni, Manicotti, Ravioli - no prob. Lasagna still eludes me.

M

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 04:00 PM

Seven cheeses in mine. I say it is the best because everyone else who has ever said theirs is the best has endorsed mine as superior after having some. I am sure I would yield also, being an honest girl, if I encountered any better.

And I get to say mine's the best cuz I said it FIRST.

But I do make the second-worst chili, and if you are going to be in or near Niles, IL let me know and I will warn you where the worst one is.

Well no I did make a good one once, with black beans, venison, and smoked chilis. !Caramba!

!S!

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Bernard
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 03:56 PM

Good point! Come on, now, who admits to making the worst?

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: catspaw49
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 03:50 PM

Just curious...........

Why does EVERYONE think they make the BEST LaSagna?

Chili fits in here too.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: wysiwyg
Date: 30 Jul 00 - 03:44 PM

Dinner party, put the frozen lasagna (I make the BEST, and had hyped this bigtime) in the oven, sat down to sip wine and have a few tokes with guests... an hour later, gee, shouldn't it smell like dinner by now? HADN'T TURNED ON THE HEAT. Hahaaa.... or so it seemed to US.

Locked infant son in car twice with keys inside car, dead of winter, in a bad Chicago neighborhood.... had to leave him there to go for help... TWICE I tell you.

Lost $200 grocetrry money while otherwise dead broke, but God knew about it and all of a sudden neighbors started giving us food, though we had not told a soul, includsing venison, produce, the whole thing. Never ate so well on so little!

Still lose my car keys when I am getting a cold, which makes me rest and stay home, and my calendar whenever I am too overscheduled and should not do so much. They always turn up after I have rested!

Hey, what was the other thread full of these funny embarrassing stories? There were at least two threads weren't there? One has the story of my pants falling down in Boston traffic.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 04:12 PM

Well, I feel almost normal now! Sinsull, isn't it funny how there are so many exceptions to the rule? Lost my wallet twice. Once was when I took a trip in college and left it in a New York City liquor store. The guy who'd been behind the counter chased me a couple of blocks to return it. Another time, I was in high school and had just sold a horse. Not a fancy horse, just a plain old $225 horse. The money was in the wallet. Another kid found it and gave it back intact. I tried to give her some money, but she refused. Once, somebody mailed me my driver's license after I'd lost it on a trip. There was no return address on the letter, but a little hand-written note saying "I found this on ____ St, and thought you'd want to get it back." I've had tough looking kids of various races run after me to give me the $5 that fell out of my pocket. I suspect there are a lot more honest people out there than we assume.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Bill D
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 03:25 PM

when my wife (Ferrara) was waiting for her heart transplant, we had a wheelchair to ease the strain when going to check-ups at Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore...after one check up we came out, went to the van, I got her in, loaded the wheelchair, and started home, planning to stop at friends house to visit & rest for awhile...got out, unloaded the wheelchair, and looked in vain for the detachable foot rests, which I had left under a tree in the hospital parking lot!...Only took me an hour to go back for 'em....

(have this sort of new joke in the house as we age, our failing memory (CRS syndrome) is a valuble aid in our exercise program....the more you forget, the more running up & down stairs you do...*wry grin*)

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: campfire
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 03:02 PM

Not as important as a baby, but:

Some of my father's neighbors were preparing to leave their lake home after the weekend. Large family (including a baby to pack), traveling in two cars, thunderstorm while they were getting ready to go, etc. etc. They drove two hours home and when they got there realized each thought the dog was in the other car.

After they made a midnight call to my father, we found her, safely locked inside the cabin.

There's a happy ending to this story, too. We were told where to find a key, and since I was leaving my father's the next day and had to pass almost through their town on my way home, I dropped the forgotten pup off on my way.

campfire

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: SINSULL
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 02:29 PM

Great NY cab driver story. I had just moved back from Chicago and of course left my purse with a few hundred in cash, wallet, credit cards, etc. in a yellow cab. I cancelled all the cards, got a new driver's license, and went through the trauma of hoping no one used my keys to break into my car or home. A few weeks later I got a call from a very irate woman. Her son was the cab driver and he had traced me through my library card to a Chicago address which led him to my previous company which led him to... until they found me. I picked up the bag with EVERYTHING in tact. She gave me a long lecture on how her son was the exception to the rule and how hard he had worked to find me. I gave him the cash. He gave me a warm and fuzzy - people are good.

Another true NY story:
A few years ago, a LI family went on a picnic with a carful of aunts, uncles, kids, picnic baskets, etc. Along the way they had a flat. Everyone got out of car on the LIE and the tire was changed.
When they arrived at the park, they suddenly realized that their baby and infant seat were gone. While rearranging everyone for changing the tire, the baby in the seat was placed on the roof of the car and forgotten. Instant panic!
Meantime, a man driving along the LIE saw a perfectly good infant's seat lying on the side of the road in the grass. He pulled over and found baby and seat. The baby was unharmed - nothing good sits for long on the LIE including broken down cars. All were happily reunited. Makes leaving a fiddle behind look almost normal, doesn't it?

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Peter Kasin
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 02:05 PM

I was riding home in a fiddler friend's car from an Irish session. We were driving along when someone else from the session sped up along side of us and began shouting something. We had no idea what he meant. He suddenly drove ahead of us and stopped his car. We stopped, waited to see what he was going to tell us, and watched as he came over and reached for something on the roof of my friend's car. It was my friend's fiddle. How it stayed on the roof without sliding off, we don't know.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: InOBU
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 01:11 PM

When I was a phot journalist, I worked for several years to afford a second Lieca camera (worth about six Nikons) - left it in a cab, ran through traffic after the cab, never found it or could afford another.
Larry "Larry-lost-it" Otway

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Mbo
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 01:05 PM

We once made a cheesecake but forgot to add sugar.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Gervase
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 01:01 PM

Too, right, 'Spaw,
Newspapers are the same - which is why so many good guys play too hard and burn out.
I used to get so depressed by meetups with hacks in odd parts of the world in which the conversation would, within five minutes, turn to "Whatever happened to...?"
It's a factor of an existence where your job is your life, and the hell take the rest. Heck, but it's nice not to be doing that any more!

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:50 PM

Good stories Peter and Gervase............Gervase reminds me of one from my drunken period. Working for the company as a National Accounts rep, I was based in Chicago at the home office, but I still lived in Nashville. I'd spend the weeks either flying somewhere or in the offices and return to Nashville most weekends. Among many people in the corporate game, booze is the main source of entertainment. The company put us up at a motel near the plant which had a bar....The company probably kept this place in business. One weekend when I stayed we took off to I think maybe John Henry's.......wherever it was, we took a motor home which the company owned, figuring we'd sleep whatever it was off in a parking lot somewhere.

I don't remember much else about that night except that we started bar hopping and at some point took cabs since we were too drunk to drive. The end of this debacle came at about 2 AM when none of us could recall where we'd left the motor home. We called the corporate limo service which delivered 6 drunken assholes back to the motel. On Monday afternoon the Chicago police called the company and said the motor home was in an impound lot after being found with the doors hanging open in an alley. I guess, beats me.

None of us got into any trouble oddly enough. We ponied up the charges and picked up the thing and had it cleaned. If there's a moral here, its kinda' pathetic, but true. We were a top group and had National Accounts flying high and it was a sales driven company as many are. If you're performing, they'll tolerate a lot.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Sorcha
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:44 PM

I'm the lady who forgot to add the solid shortening(fat) to pie dough-----it obviously wasn't "right" when it was "done", so I stood and thought about it, and DAH!! the light came on--"No Shortening!!" So.......I did it again and left the shortening out AGAIN. Gave up at that point and did a cake instead. It was not the day to bake pies, I guess.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Peter T.
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:30 PM

In college I used to go up to the Northwest Territories and work in a railway yard. The first day I was ever there, fresh from the south, the foreman handed me a set of keys and pointed me at a forklift truck and said, have you ever driven one of these before? I said no. Oh, well, he says, they just have a complicated stick shift. It'll take you a few minutes, then put those oil drums over there. What he didn't know was that I had never driven anything before (I had no drivers licence and no desire to drive). But did I tell him that? No. I went over to the truck, and decided that now was my time to learn how to drive. The truck was fairly armour plated anyway, except for the big forks. Luckily he had gone away. I proceeded to smash my way around a warehouse, sticking forks into god knows what, and finally, with the forks protruding, ran right over an empty oil barrel. Throughout all this, a crowd had begun to gather, with me looking real professional. Eventually, with everyone in hysterics, the foreman came back, and he walked over to me, looked at me with supreme contempt and said: "F******* college kids." No one ever let me forget it. We eventually became good friends, and I did survive, but no one ever let me forget it. Whenever I got on a forklift (and I got real good before the summer was over), everyone would duck and run for cover.
yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Gervase
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:17 PM

'Spaw,
Wonderful tale. I remember about a dozen years ago, when cellphones were still pretty new in the UK, I had the office "brick" in my bag when I fell among thieves and spent half the night in a bar.
At the end of the evening, needless to say, the bag and me were probably half a world apart, on some scale at least.
Mortified with guilt - and shit-scared of having to pick up the insurance tab - I hoofed it to the nearest police station, where I tried to explain to Pc George Dixon that I'd lost my bag and there was a phone in it.
He looked at me, in my rather dishevilled state, and then looked at the '50s Bakelite number with the curly lead that sat on his counter.
"Er, Sir," he says, with just a hint of a twinkle in his eye. "Have you tried ringing your briefcase to see if there's anyone in it?".

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:12 PM

Hmmmmm..........

"One Fiddle Shy of a Jig"

"My Memory is like an Empty Case"

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: katlaughing
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 12:02 PM

For your tshirt, Jeri:

The woman who mistook her case....for a fiddle

Or,

One fiddle shy of a case / One case shy of a fiddle

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: catspaw49
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 11:55 AM

Its kind of a CRS thing...............I can't begin to tell the things I've left somewhere, many without happy endings.

This may sound bad (hope not), but a lot of our foster kids have had a problem with stealing things. As a matter of fact, one of them stole my van!!! But outside of that, and for a lot of reasons, many have developed "light fingers." A buck here, 5 bucks there, and also some larger stuff. I caary a "Day-Timer" which is a leftover habit from my past life, which has all my money, cards, checkbook, etc. in it. Yeah...that's dumb, I know. But in any case, I started hiding it. Needless to say, some would find it and abscond off with a few bucks and I got to the point of putting it in different places almost daily. The inevitable result of that should have been obvious.........I have spent hours trying to find the damn thing!!!

The best part of this boring tale comes from one of my somewhat less bright and more light fingered kids, who always swore, "Honest, it wasn't me!!!" We're heading out "Birthday Bash" and I can't find my DT/Wallet. Yeh, you guessed it.........He went right to the place it was (third drawer, MY dresser, between sweaters) and got it. Still maintained he didn't steal anything, but all the other kids and Karen and I had a good laugh!

Same kid asked me to hold his money from his parttime job so he wouldn't spend it. I would put it in an envelope and hide it and he was happy that he didn't spend it and was "really saving up." Of course he found the envelope and started snitching bucks from it....but he didn't realize that it was his! I let it go on and on, because I KNEW he'd find it and steal from it! One day he asked for his money so he could go buy the new bike he'd been saving for. So we both went to the "hiding place" and the look on his face was priceless!!!! "Gee, *****, somebody stole your money!" says I, with a VERY direct look. His thievery slowed down a bit after that.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: campfire
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 10:51 AM

A friend of mine was leaving a gig and leaned his guitar up against his car to unlock the trunk. Someone called out to my friend from the doorway of the venue. It distracted him just enough that he - you got it - drove away without actually putting the guitar INTO the car. (He did get it safely back, after another several hour round trip back)

Another instance, at an open mike: One woman, who generally plays guitar, had just gotten a flute. She brought it to show people, but never played it that night. At the end of the night, as we were cleaning up, we noticed a flute case left on a table. We all assumed it was hers - nobody else had played a flute that night either. A friend of hers took it home to give to her the next day. Ten minutes after the friend left, the bar phone rang. It was a frantic woman - a different woman - who had been in the bar on her way home from a music lesson or something. It was difficult to assure her her "kidnapped" flute was safe and would be returned as soon as possible - she wanted the friend's address so she could go get it - at 3 am.

campfire

Subject: RE: BS: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Rick Fielding
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 10:46 AM

Well Jeri, my friend payed 2600 bucks for a Larrivee, left the store, hailed a cab, drove off and left the guitar on the sidewalk! No happy ending, I'm afraid. I've arrived at the airport minus my ticket! Fortunately I can grovel pretty good, so I didn't get left behind. We've ALL done stuff like that!

Rick

Subject: Things You'll Never Hear the Last Of
From: Jeri
Date: 29 Jul 00 - 10:20 AM

The grammar police will say it should be "Things Of Which You'll Never Hear The Last." Don't bug me - I've got other things to worry about :-)

So last night I left the session early, not feeling very alert even though I had been drinking cola. I felt I'd left something, but a quick check showed me I had my fiddle case and bag. I went home and eventually went to bed.

I got a phone call a few minutes ago from a friend who had been at the session. "Hi Jeri. Are you missing anything?" I said no, I didn't think so. She said when all the fiddlers packed up last night, there had been a leftover fiddle on a table. (At this point, I was thinking "What a dumbass - who could possibly forget an instrument?!") I told her I was pretty sure it wasn't mine, because I was looking at the case, but I checked anyway. Duh! Duh, duh, duh, duuuuuhhhh! Anyway, the fiddle is safe in my friend's hands until next Fri, and I have a backup. I should perhaps consider having a T-Shirt made addressing this event before I actually begin hearing about it. Any suggestions for what to put on the T-shirt?

Has anyone else done anything like this? (And I don't wanna hear 60 people say "Nope, never did anything that stupid! Mind if I tell my friends?")