Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household

Subject: Our's Is Not A Happy Household
From: GUEST,Ina P.(guest)
Date: 19 Aug 00 - 05:39 PM

"Our's Is Not A Happy Household" is a rugby song sung to the tune of the German National Anthem. Does anybody know the words?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Our's Is Not A Happy Household
From: Pene Azul
Date: 19 Aug 00 - 06:16 PM

You can get the lyrics to "Life Presents a Dismal Picture " here (click).

PA

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 02 Feb 11 - 11:02 PM

Or here: Lyr Add: LIFE PRESENTS A DISMAL PICTURE

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: GUEST
Date: 14 Nov 17 - 10:54 PM

I know part of it.

"Ours is not a happy household,
no one laughs or even smiles.
Mine's a dismal occupation,
crushing ice for father's piles.
Sister sue has just aborted,
for the forty-second time.
To the horror of the butler,
Who's the author of her fate."

That's all I remember, I learned it from my father when I was a child (he had a strange sense of humor) and I am now in my 60's.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: GUEST,Peter
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 03:12 PM

Ours is not a happy Family
No ones laughs and no ons smiles
Mine's a dismal occupation,
Crushing Ice for Grandpa's piles.

Jane the under housemaid vomits
Every morning just at eight,
to the horror of the butler
Who's the author of her fate.

Aunty Jane has just aborted
for the 47th time,
Uncle George has been deported
For a most unusual crime.

And alas, that's all I remember, Peter

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: GUEST,Starship
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 03:26 PM

http://pwoodford.net/hashblog/?p=626 Although it is not a 'secure' site, I picked up no attempt to drop viruses, etc. I think they'll answer the question.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: Joe_F
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 06:10 PM

Aliter:

Life presents a dismal picture.
Everything is fraught with gloom.
Father has an anal stricture.
Mother has a fallen womb.
Sister Sue has just aborted
For the forty-second time.
Uncle Max has been deported
For a homosexual crime.

Subject: Lyr Add: LIFE PRESENTS A DISMAL PICTURE
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 11:11 PM

From Bawdy Barrack-Room Ballads by Hugh De Witt (1970), page 58.


LIFE PRESENTS A DISMAL PICTURE

Life presents a dismal picture,
Dark and dreary as the tomb :
Father's got an anal stricture,
Mother's got a prolapsed womb.

Sister Susan's been aborted
For the forty-second time,
Brother Bill has been deported
For a homosexual crime.

In a small brown-paper parcel,
Wrapped in a mysterious way,
Is an imitation rectum
Grandpa uses twice a day.

Jill has chronic menstruation,
Never laughs and never smiles.
Mine's a dismal occupation,
Cracking ice for Grandma's piles.

Cousin Peter's got paresis,
Little Jennie cannot play.
Uncle Joe converses with Jesus,
And says : 'I'm Queen of the May!’

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 01 Jul 19 - 11:29 PM

An additional verse, from Maledicta - Volume 6, Issues 1-2, page v

Grandma has intest'nal troubles
Which are driving us to fits.
Every time she eats, she bubbles,
Every time she farts, she shits.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: Joe_F
Date: 02 Jul 19 - 09:56 PM

Jim Dixon:

I dare say "rectum" was originally "arsehole", so that it rhymed.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ours Is Not a Happy Household
From: Jim Dixon
Date: 03 Jul 19 - 12:30 AM

Joe F: You're surely right! Thanks.