Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW

Subject: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:10 PM

KEV MCGRATH IS FEELING CONCERVATIVE - STOP - NEEDS DRINK - STOP - ALL ENGLISH MUDCATTERS TO HARLOW AT ONCE - STOP - BRING WHISKEY - STOP- POUR IT INTO KEV!!! DON't STOP!
Hurry!
Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: GUEST
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:12 PM

H e feels what ?Could you spell that in English!

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:15 PM

Quote from Kev " I've been thinking, and I've decided that in fact I'm conservative by temperament" Sorry for the spelling, friends here know I have a learning disability, and there is no spell check in this programm..... NO TIME FOR DETAILS, MAN GET HIM A DRINK!!! - ,br> Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:36 PM

Glad you mentioned whiskey Larry,'cause thats what conservatives drink. Good Bourbon or Single Malt Scotch.
Unlike liberals who sip white wine or some fru-fru mixed drink that's half fruit juice and has a little parasol in it.
Bourbon and Branck Water or Scotch on the rocks. That's the stuff!
Welcome aboard McGrath!

troll ROTFLMAO!

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:41 PM

Ah Troll! Another thing we have in common.
Back when I had a liver, I could think of no better time spent, than in the company of a good whiskey (see the movie tight little island for my attitude about that which made life sweet). I (by the by) agree, Liberals do not committ to the important things in life, which is why they get in the way of revolutions. We reds drink with the same degree of conviction we live, and the same degree of conviction we recieve from judges who, employing poor grammer, as the Wobbly said, after the palmer raids... "the judge spoke poorly, he employed sentences that were over long!" Ah yes, give me Whiskey and a new liver, and I will be happy again, no matter who is president, priminister or God!
For Christmass, have a whiskey and describe it to me, ol pal,
Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: catspaw49
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:46 PM

Ah Christ, now I'm in deep shit too............Prior to the point where I decided I needed a liver, bourbon and branch or Jack straight up were my drinks of choice.............Oh gawd no............AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHH............. I feel a need to make a pilgrimage to Goldwater's grave..............send help quick.................

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:49 PM

Spaw, I'm sendin' some Elijah Craig and some Maker's Mark. Stay away from that Tennessee stuff! Then if you need a julep recipe, my favorite is the long one that ends with throwing away all the fixin's and drinking the Boubon.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:50 PM

I know how to spell Bourbon!

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 09:54 PM

No Spaw, You have to get serrious for us to worry that you are in serrious need of a drink... I have to start to spell, Troll has to become a commie... Hey isn't it about time for another round of the Mudcat 12 days of christmass?
Larry ,br> Oh... and Guest has to start signing his posts....

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 10:04 PM

Larry, I've been dry for 19 years, 4 months and 22 days and I haven't had one today. However, a good cup of coffee seems to work pretty well these days, so I'll have one on you and you can reciprocate with whatever your libation is on me.
The truly funny thing is that my wife is politicaly-shall we say-pink? Yes, I think we shall.
Our one inflexible rule is that we NEVER discuss politics. Her whole family is that way. Makes for interesting times when we visit some of her cousins. I just nod my head and smile.
Her grandfather was a friend of Trotskys; went to University with him. As I said, interesting times.

troll

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Sorcha
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 10:07 PM

Sending white wine to Harlow.....speedily. Can't drink bourbon, never had branch. How is it alone? How about we send Wine Coolers? Is there a more liberal drink? Quick, quick, this is like Kendall suddenly liking something other than Story Ballads...........HELP!

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 11:22 PM

BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

troll

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Ebbie
Date: 18 Dec 00 - 11:46 PM

I think 'branch' is simply water- of course, water of the best kind... What and where is that?

Ebbie

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:49 AM

Sorry, it would take more than this, dire as it is, to get some of us folk to willingly vist Harlow.

That'll get him to post here.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:51 AM

I thought for a moment the emergency was that Harlow may have run out of roundabouts?

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 02:53 AM

Is Harlow THAT bad? No wonder he always seems in such a mood.

troll *BG*

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: The Shambles
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:00 AM

I wouldn't say that Harlow is bad but..............

If they had to administer an enema to the UK, that is where they would place it.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Jon Freeman
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:40 AM

What's a liver?

Jon

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:53 AM

Kevin, you're a sorry excuse for a wretch when you have to send another man out to beg for your drink. Despicable!! Larry, I'll have a jar with you any time, but Kevin, chiggers can't be boozers. Catspaw, what the hell am I talking about?

All the best.

Seamus

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Ella who is Sooze
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 04:44 AM

ha! InObu... having dyslexia myself.... I knew exactly what you were on about... as I read it as you intended it to mean....

Hee heee... I get myself into awful trouble sometimes, reading things the wrong way...

Hey... forget whisky and all the other stuff....

Try blue Aftershock - absolutly disgusting, but numbs EVERYTHING - and gets you on the wobble after one.... 40% proof and blows your socks off... and the pink Aftershock drink tastes like an alcoholic Benylin.... erm not that I like Benylin you understand...

Ella

Ella

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 04:52 AM

Any discussion that gets people offering me drinks is worth starting. To clarify my views about these things, I'm agin any unnecessary changes. And I think that unfortunately there are an awful lot of awful things that need changing.

The aim of revolution/reform is to achieve a world where a decent person can be against change.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: mkebenn
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 07:37 AM

Mary, straight Jack is a fine thing, but I agree that Maker's Mark is the next best thing to good "shine" Mike

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Bagpuss
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 08:36 AM

The question is, should we send him beer - the good old working class socialist's drink? Or would he prefer to be a champagne socialist?

Bagpuss

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 08:46 AM

Beer is the day to day workers friend. Champain, once or twice a year, but in emergency, Whiskey is the thing. As Turlogh O'Carolin said, it gives wisdom to the stupid, words to the dumb, sight to the blind... and it is made in our magical Celtic glens hills and bathrooms. In sufficent quantity, it can make a red out of our Troll. This is why I leave a bottle under every old stone bridge, hoping that I might find our Troll's bridge, and soften him up a wee bit.
Here's too us, whos like us... Damn few - Slante
Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 09:09 AM

I don't live under a bridge larry. I live in a nice comfortable cave in a quiet middle-class forest.
***bridge! Do you believe it? I mean ,really...**

troll

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:04 AM

Ah... I see, cave Troll rather than Bridge Troll, there is hope for you yet, Instead of Nannygoats, what do we offer up to cave Trolls? - Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: A Wandering Minstrel
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:30 AM

Hobbitses! precioussss!

(Glenfidich_drinking liberal)

Minstrel

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Extra Stout
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:58 AM

A branch is a spring or creek. McGrath needs Jameisons. In the absence of halflings, cave trolls have unclean tastes, according to Ibsen in "Per Gynt", fortunately, those were mountain trolls, not forest trolls so we don't have to deal with that. The Mudcat troll seems an eminently sensible fellow.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 11:42 AM

Mead's the stuff! At least I hope it is, I just won a bottle in a raffle, all the way from Slovenia.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Hollowfox
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 11:55 AM

'Spaw, I'll worry about your pilgrimage to Goldwater's grave AFTER I find out what you intend to do there, especially after drinking.
Mary, that Tennessee stuff isn't bourbon, it's sippin' whiskey, so that makes a difference. Hint: to bring out the sweetness in Jack Daniels, the less oxygen that touches the liquid the better, and water is a contamination. Sake, however blends surprisingly well with it; I call it a Jack Daniel-sama. This was discovered at a very interesting wedding reception, and yes, it was a surprise to me, too.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 01:33 PM

Lucky man Kev! I used to love the odd glass, flagon or horn of meed. Drink in in good health! Cheers, Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: catspaw49
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 01:38 PM

Holy Keericed Hollowfox!!!!! You mixed Jack with Sake? And you actually can remember where you did it? Tell me, do you also cut 151 with Ouzo? I stand in awe......

Spaw

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 01:55 PM

Mead! Nectar of the Gods. You can get a pretty good mead in England called Archbishops.
151 cut with Ouzo. Now THERES a libation to separate out the amatures in a hurry!

troll **looking longingly at the jar of honey**

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: InOBU
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 03:41 PM

Hey Troll! Living in a cave - craving honey... sure you are a troll and not a bear? Go over to a mirror and let us know, Troll... grean tint to the skin, leathery wrinkled shin, big nose, high balding forehead, stooping posture, scraggly beard, often wearing sagging leaderhosen... Bear, all covered with hair, brown, white or black, sometimes tinged with grey... round ears, large teath, oft inclined to look puzzeled... Let us know the results.
Larry

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 05:08 PM

Larry, plastic surgery can do wonders but the beard is still scraggly and I wear shorts almost all the time. Foundation takes care of the greenish tinge and a good moisturizer is essential for keeping the skin supple. The military took care of the posture.
The reasonfor stareing at the honey was, of course, that mead is made from honey.
Oh that I could once again sup a horn of mead. But those days, alas, are gone forever for I have reformed and nought stronger than good coffee may now pass the lips that once did down great foaming tankards of ale and flagons of wine, whisky and rum by the cask and sherry-ah, sherry....I'm going back to my cave now.

troll

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Nynia
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 05:28 PM

OK Kev, I don't give out this info very often but...... I think i'll give you a large glass of Middleton. It's an Irish whisky and matches or beats any Scots single malt that I know (that's not an easy thing for a Scot to admit) But if I see you add a mixer you're a dead man.

Nynia

:-)

-)

)

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 06:16 PM

This virtual drinking is all very well, but...

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Lanfranc
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 07:16 PM

OK Kevin, name the pub and I'll meet you there tomorrow evening!

If nothing else, we can put together a thread that calls down the curse of the damned on those who have the temerity to criticise Harlow on the basis that it has too many roundabouts.

For future reference, any enema administered to Britain would have to be inserted via Slough. Betjeman was right all along.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Mrs.Duck
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 07:36 PM

I went to Harlow once!

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: Troll
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 09:57 PM

In heavens name, woman. WHy?

troll

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: John Hardly
Date: 19 Dec 00 - 10:14 PM

...alas,

Goldwater died a liberal--lib-er-ated by hiz wooman.

better find another grave on which to pree--form yer drunkin con-version!

JH

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: The Shambles
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 02:45 AM

Harlow memories 1.

I once returned a book to the Harlow public library. It was my first (and only) visit to the library and I must of been thinking of something else at the time, for having had the book stamped. I then picked it up again. As I went to leave, I must have walked through a sensor, for a siren wailed, lights flashed as if I had been caught in the act of robbing Fort Knox.

It did have a library however and a well-stocked one. Despite my efforts to un-stock it.

Subject: RE: Help: EMERGENCY IN HARLOW
From: CarolC
Date: 20 Dec 00 - 06:49 AM

And to add a musical note to this most enlightening discussion...

Planxty Jack Daniels