Subject: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Jock Morris Date: 25 Jan 01 - 07:18 AM The Tavern has been quiet for a while, but I'm in the mood to celebrate. Resigned this morning from a job that's been stressing me out for too long; new job starts in a months time. First round is on me! Scott |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 07:31 AM Cheers Jock and congrats. Mines a GlenMorangie - madeira wood preferred but any'll do. I'm getting a bit fed up of office politics myself and thinking of going back to contract work (Unix SysAdm/Consultancy type stuff). Any comments? DtG |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 08:36 AM Always glad to stop in at the Tavern and hoist a few... At the end of the day I like a little time to raise up me glass and sing! Say! Has someone been redecorating? I don't remember that copy machine next to the Bar...Is there someone underthat pile of printouts? I thought I saw it move... Hey! Lookee this! It's 1,455,921 copies of Child Ballad 273A. Sorcha musta been here. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Jock Morris Date: 25 Jan 01 - 09:00 AM Haggis, neeps and tatties on the menu tonight. All single malts are half price as well in honour of the bard. (Hic!) Scott |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 09:54 AM Single Malts half price???? I'll have two then;-) Is there any Clutie (sp?) dumpling for afters or is that only at Hogmanay? Pile on the neeps and tatties and I'll have an extra piece of Haggis anyway... Is it true that the Haggis has one set of legs shorter than the other for going up hills and is easiest to catch when it overbalances on the way down btw??? Wow - that GlenMorangie is good - I think I'll be seeing that pile of papers move soon.... DtG |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:12 AM Are you Do you think I've had much to drink too? I you would have to know verner over-dulgin! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:15 AM You must be drunk - you look all blurred.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:16 AM You must be drunk - you look all blurred.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:18 AM See - you are seeing double as well... Talking of which, I'll try the Bowmore next. Cheers.. Mmmmmm - liquid wood smoke.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Les from Hull Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:22 AM Oh it's Burns Night is it. I'll get the ointment. Les |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Morticia Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:26 AM Well done on your escape, Jock, I just did something similar and know I did the right thing....hope it works out as well for you. And now that I'm here I may as well have a wee drop of the Glenlivet to warm me up. ........MMario, there is something moving under that pile of paper....and I can see a telephone cord running in there too.....do you suppose we should go in and look? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:27 AM I'm not sure it's a telephone cord... Could be a tail..... EEEKKK |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Les from Hull Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:35 AM Wee sleekit cowering timorous beastie! Not the telephone cord but Dave the Gnome. I'll have just a small double now that I've popped in, and raise it to Jock's new job. And seeing that all single malts are half price, I'll have a Bushmills 12 year old. That's whiskey with an e. Les |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:38 AM Oh, a drink would be lovely. I've just been accused of opressing the working classes, and then of being brainwashed by the bourgeois (see - I have difficulty spelling bourgeois, so I can't be in it!) because I am a student - strange logic indeed - by a strange bloke picking a fight who was subsequently arrested when he turned on someone else. It was quite entertaining. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:39 AM pint of Smithwicks please, and a round of peanuts for all those at the bar (except those with severe peanut allergies) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: AggieBethie Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:40 AM Can underaged people come in? I promise I won't drink (much :-) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:46 AM AggieBeth - the Tavern comes complete with a VERY fully stocked bar - everything from chocolate milk to frozen cinnamon mocha double expresso ice cream waffle sandwiches. Name yer poison! It all goes on Bert's charge card. (A long standing tradition here at the Tavern. We haven't managed to max the card out yet.) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: The Sugar Dog (inactive) Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:47 AM Huh, dog door lil froze today, but Ah reckon Ah fin' some other way in if Ah has to! Snuffle... trit trot... hoo-ee! Back door open up fahn! Ah in! Ah trit trot mahseff over by the recliners, be all set. Uh huh, get me a pitcher uh Rusty Nails, couple two three glasses an' a clean bowl, settle in... whatchoo make em with this tahm? mm, mm, MM!! ~Sugar Dog |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:54 AM I didn't see that Fibula!!! Someone starting a fight in here??? Send him over here, a bite on the kneecap from a Gnome can soon put people off causing trouble... Another Bowmore while I'm here, pleeeeshhhh. An' a pint o'heavy to chase it seeing as it's Burnsh nighghgt DtG |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: AggieBethie Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:54 AM Hmmm... lemme think... I'll start out with a banana and mayo sandwich on toast with a glass of mead to chase it down. Any shot suggestions? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:55 AM I didn't see that Fibula!!! Someone starting a fight in here??? Send him over here, a bite on the kneecap from a Gnome can soon put people off causing trouble... Another Bowmore while I'm here, pleeeeshhhh. An' a pint o'heavy to chase it seeing as it's Burnsh nighghgt DtG |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 11:02 AM Hmmm, the gnome maybe should cut back a bit! He's double deja-vueing! And that paper pile DID move! Someone hit it! Or offer it a drink, something; before we all suffer the death of a hundred thousand papercuts! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 11:03 AM I've defffinitely gor 'iccupupupupup'sis. Musht be the Haggis. Can't be the whiskykyky -HIC-. Ohhh dear, better have a nuther one... I'll try The Glen Livet thish time - an a Gwinisssssh chaser.... HAHA - saw the paper move again!!! No-one caught that Haggis yet???? hehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehehe DtG |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Jock Morris Date: 25 Jan 01 - 11:07 AM Pint of Fraoch heather ale for me please, oh and a 25 year old Macallan as well! Anyone up to doing the immortal memory or the toast to the lassies? Scott |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Morticia Date: 25 Jan 01 - 11:11 AM From under the piles of defunct VAT reciepts creeps Reginald Molehusband......terror of the tax-manipulating public....oppressor of the creative accountant....love-slave of the fearsomely large Mrs Molehusband."It's not my fault" he whined in strangulated Thames Estuary accents "the office said we had to embrace new work-styles and rationalise our property budgets by working from home......but the missus won't allow me back in during the day" |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 25 Jan 01 - 11:39 AM Annnyyywayy - musht go. Got to get home and pretenenen' I've been in the oshife all day.... D'ya think she'll notish... hehehehehehehe I'll have one for the road, no - make it a Macallan this time. Anything with it.. OK another Macallan hehehehe Right she you folklklkels. Here's to us, wha's like us. There's nae many, their all deed... Lang may yer lumbs reek.... (The Gnome makes a break for the door, trips and lands head first in the pile of paper. Sounds of manic giggling escape as the soles of his boots disappear under Child ballad #7346.333recurring...) |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave Wynn Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:47 PM Hello....Performing Rights Society.....could I hear more than one person singing just now.....May I come in..............? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Les from Hull Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:56 PM No, it's just that there's a very unusual echo in here. I know you don't often get echoes that do harmonies, but there you are. You'll just have to take my word for it. Besides, how long has the PRS been represented by a small dog (once played by Tim Brooke-Taylor in ISISTA)? Les |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Kim C Date: 25 Jan 01 - 12:56 PM Whiskey Cat had a li'l food poisoning last weekend so I better take it easy for starters... maybe haggis tomorrow... I think I'll start with a hard cider today. Mmmmmm! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave Wynn Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:03 PM Oo sez I'm a small dog. Just coz I'm called "Spot" dunt mean I'm small and walk funny. I could be a mastif or a dane and why can't a dog be a PRS agent. I got ears ain't I. Might come in a bite a few just for laffs.... Spot (the possibly large and unfriendly) dog |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Les from Hull Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:09 PM Well Spot, you must be small if you've only got room for one spot. Never mind, I'm always kind to dogs. I'll just get an clean ashtray from the barperson... Les |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,LEJ Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:10 PM Not a Scotch drinker myself, but I'll have a shot of whatever the Scots recommend in the Single Malt variety....and then chase it with a Carlsberg.
It don't matter what the people are thinkin' |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 01:17 PM shhhhurr. Just twiddle tha' liddle ka-nobby thing. NO! The one on the DOOR!!!! The one on the DOOR! Uhmmm- donno if no-one's told-told youse thhissh - but you look a lot like, well, like a dog. (hic) wanna glash of sumfin? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: wysiwyg Date: 25 Jan 01 - 03:35 PM Dogs!!! Two dogs and a cat!!! ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Bert Date: 25 Jan 01 - 03:43 PM Well seeing as I'm still picking up the tab, slide that half gallon of Meyer's Rum this way, along with a pint glass. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:02 PM and we all appurcitate it, bert! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:46 PM An it's alright to puke in here too. Just makes the place a little more fuggadelic. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 25 Jan 01 - 04:49 PM whattaminit! when did THAT rule get in? I thought that was only in the back garden! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Kim C Date: 25 Jan 01 - 05:24 PM no, no, I had enough of puking over the weekend, thank you... blech... another cider, please... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Bradypus Date: 25 Jan 01 - 06:03 PM Talisker, please. Just let me sniff it for a couple of minutes - wonderful stuff.
Is there, for honest poverty
|
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Lanfranc Date: 25 Jan 01 - 06:24 PM Just arrived in time to see Joe Offer (or someone very like him) tucking into the last available portion of haggis. Morticia passed me her left over neeps and tatties, but someone had stubbed out a cigarette in it, and there was a pool of yellowish and pungent fluid on the plate that I didn't care to examine too closely. Spot!!! Anyway, I've just selected the "Best of Jake Thakray" CD on the Jukebox, so while Matt R's choice Oasis album finishes I'll have a treble Bowmore and a jug of water please. Oh, yes, a pack of hedgehog flavour crisps, please. No I don't care about the sell-by date - they're traditional flavoured. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Bat Goddess Date: 25 Jan 01 - 06:37 PM Just nipped in to lap a bit of Laphroaig and hoist a glass to Rabbie. I think what's squirming under the pile of printouts might be a flying squirrel -- the one that got away from Creamsicle this morning. So that's where it is. Anyone mind me sitting here in the corner quietly singing "Nine Inch will Please A Lady"? Bat Goddess |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Matt_R Date: 25 Jan 01 - 06:37 PM I'm feeling a bit down tonight, so it's the laid-back acoustic "Oasis Unplugged" album. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Lanfranc Date: 25 Jan 01 - 06:50 PM Matt, Matt, never mind, Jake will cheer you up! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Liz the Squeak Date: 25 Jan 01 - 07:13 PM Ah one for the road please, and make it the M25.......HAAA !!!! LTS |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Sorcha Date: 25 Jan 01 - 07:32 PM Sorcha staggers in, dragging a wagon full of paper. Reams and reams of paper. "Quick--catch that pile!! Don't let it escape!! It may be the only copy of Child # 400 in existance!! No, Dave the Gnome, DON'T EAT IT.....NOOOOoooo. Oh well. Just pull me a pint, and I'll take the night off. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: wysiwyg Date: 25 Jan 01 - 08:18 PM Paper!! I'll give ye paper!! Insurance claim PAPER!! Due tomorrow and NO PRINTER in the house!!! Fockin paper! Crabby enough to kick a Sugar Dog! Bat Goddess, care to join me? I'm ordering up a Whimsicle, maybe there's two of them in the cooler. Nie inches of chilling out sounds just about right. ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Amergin Date: 25 Jan 01 - 10:35 PM Just give me that bottle of Bushmills....I don't care which one, just hand the bloody thing over...thank you...now I'll just go sit here in the corner and drink.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: wysiwyg Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:23 AM Izzat a Sugar Dog curled up at your feet, Nathan? She look tahred. Give those fluffy ears a nice scratch, maybe go curl up with her in the recliners? Bet she like a poem too. Tell her one to get her off to sleep, would you, she been working herseff to a frazz. She keep you warm all night, wake up silly in the mornin' too I bet. ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Matt_R Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:47 AM Have you even had the feeling that your stomach was going to burst? That's how I've felt all day. Somebody PLEASE play some Radiohead. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: blt Date: 26 Jan 01 - 03:28 AM Well, I don't drink alcohol, so I'll just have to check out the menu...hmmmmmm, this thing unfolds like an accordion, and look at all the wierd names on the food list...I don't know what half of them are, maybe some kind of bread...God, I hate to make decisions about what to drink now that I don't drink, I guess I'll just have a decaf double mocha, easy on the chocolate, no whip, with skim milk. Oh, and a piece of that double fudge chocolate cake with a scoop of mint chocolate chip ice cream, thanks. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Amergin Date: 26 Jan 01 - 05:22 AM Ok, I can use a nice sweet Sugar Dog in my lap....Come here, sweetie....let's go sit in one of those comfy recliners....there we go....don't quite have a poem for you at this moment, but I do have this little song....yes, I know that I'm not the greatest singer in the world, but I enjoy it....and that's all that matters, right? Oh come on, you needn't look so alarmed....here how about a nice scratch behind the ears, while I sing? I thought as much...here goes...Oh, sweetie, I don't know what it's called as yet...I gave it a title, but it doesn't quite seem to fit...Hold on while I drain this bottle...ok now I'm ready....
A Sailor's Love
I stand on the deck, looking over the sea
Chorus:
The stars are bright as they dance in the sky,
Chorus:
The night is over and my watch is now done
Chorus:
The day will come, when we stand on the shore Nathan Tompkins |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Jan 01 - 06:13 AM As it is nearly the weekend I'll have a large Metaxas 3-star please. Spot! If you don't get off my leg I'll pour someone else's beer over you. Somebody tie him up to the rail outside with a bowl of water and some pork scratchings to keep him quiet. Let's see if the juke box has Ella and the Inkspots doing Cow Cow Boogie, just love that line: "get hip, little dogies". RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock Date: 26 Jan 01 - 06:30 AM RtS, you're hitting the drink early. Is the sun even over the yard arm? Well, if the tavern's open I'll have a Bloody Mary and a fried egg sandwich (with mushrooms). I got my burgled CDs replaced this morning and have a brand new copy of Jethro Tull's "Heavy Horses" to play once more! This is a good start to the weekend. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Les from Hull Date: 26 Jan 01 - 06:51 AM Poor Spot - why should he have to drink water? Isn't beer good enough for him? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Date: 26 Jan 01 - 08:01 AM Because he's the designated driver (haven't you heard of a dog-cart?)! RtS |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST,Matt_R Date: 26 Jan 01 - 08:28 AM This is the springtime of my loving The second season I am to know You are the sunlight in my growing So little warmth I've felt before It isn't hard to feel me glowing I watched the fire that grew so low It is the summer of my smiles Flee from me, Keepers of the Gloom Speak to me only with your eyes It is to you I give this tune Ain't so hard to recognize These things are clear to all from time to time Talk Talk - I've felt the coldness of my winter I never thought it would ever go I cursed the gloom that set upon us... But I know that I love you so Yes I know That I love you so These are the seasons of emotion And like the winds they rise and fall This is the wonder of devotion I see the torch we all must hold This is the mystery of the quotient Upon us all a little rain must fall...
|
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Kim C Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:39 AM Amergin can I talk you out of a little of that Bushmills please? Meow? Prrrrrrrrr........... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 26 Jan 01 - 10:53 AM Matt - that's nice - yours? or a qoute? |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Noreen Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:06 PM Any of the Black Bushmills left there, Nathan? My favourite. I seem to remember, not too long ago, sitting in a pub with a Black Bush and a Jamesons in front of me- (I don't think they were both mine),expounding at some length on how surprisingly different they smell... No thanks, Alan I won't eat hedgehog flavour crisps on principle. Any helicopter flavour? No? OK then, I'll have plane. I'm looking for Child#100, I'm sure it can't be much further down this pile... Cheers, bert! Noreen |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:17 PM Noreen, is this it? *plucks a paper at random from pile sorcha brought in, causing pile to collapse into jello pit*
Child 100A |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Amergin Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:19 PM I guess I can share a little with such two lovely ladies....bring your glasses over here and I'll pour you a drop (or two)...just watch out for Sugar Dog....pour thing is exhaustedly sleeping.....Ok, here you go... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: GUEST Date: 26 Jan 01 - 12:54 PM MMario - the song that Matt quoted is Led Zeppelin's "The Rain Song" |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: MMario Date: 26 Jan 01 - 01:04 PM grazie. I do wish the boy would tell us when he is qouting and when he is not... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Noreen Date: 26 Jan 01 - 01:19 PM MMario, No....... *LOL* Thank you so much, and sorry for taking over this bit of the tavern with the scattered papers... You can still read those pieces, Sorcha, through he green jelly, stop fussing! So, MMario, you haven't got the version where the silk-dressed , milk-skinned young suitor is called Johnny from the Isle of Man? Thought not... I'll have to post it... Sláinte, Nathan. |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: wysiwyg Date: 26 Jan 01 - 01:47 PM Mmmmmmmmmm...... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: The Sugar Dog (inactive) Date: 26 Jan 01 - 01:55 PM Lookit the tahm, whut a sleep Ah had me.... fell into dogdrowse wid dee fingers of a poet on my silkyfluff ears... smooth me down deep for sleep... thought Ah might could hear a song in the far places... sweet deep rumbling images a-tumble through mah min'.... Felt somebuddy's sore tummy in the distance call me an' sang a lil doggiesong in de dream raght into the hurt... wish Ah cud recolleck it now... an' here Ah am full wake in de recliner all 'freshed. Where dat Susagirl go, she bettah be workin' dat INs'rance claim up GOOD or Ah eat up the papers! Heh heh hehhh! Ah TOLE her she gotta get her a good new 'puder outta all dat, she bes' lissen herseff up or Ah Sugar-Dog-kick her ass! An' Ah kin do it too, mos' nice, but HARD! Ah fittin' tuh head on out back now, see whassup in de day... y'all do any more good songs you be sure an' record 'em!! ~S~ |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave the Gnome Date: 26 Jan 01 - 02:07 PM A gnomish apparition appears mysteriosly ot of a heap of spoilt child ballot papers.... Is this something to do with an election somewhere... never mind.... Mmmph, Grllllp, Flryng, Yaaaawwwwnnnnn! Ohhh, what day is it? Where is everyone? Any Hagis left? Hello... HELLLLOOOO.... Oh, buggrit. Guess I'll have to go and face the missuss. Still... there is no one around... And there is a whole heap of good scotch there to go off if no-one drinks it... Mmmmmmm Gnome disappears behind the bar. Sound of clinking bottles and corks being popped ensues.... |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Kim C Date: 26 Jan 01 - 02:30 PM Thanks Amergin. Cheers! |
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcat tavern open for business From: Dave Wynn Date: 26 Jan 01 - 02:38 PM Hi Gnome...you want some dog hair? |