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very very bored off-topic rambilngs

GUEST,emily-o 16 May 01 - 10:17 AM
Murray MacLeod 16 May 01 - 10:22 AM
Bill D 16 May 01 - 10:25 AM
KingBrilliant 16 May 01 - 10:28 AM
Lyndi-loo 16 May 01 - 10:30 AM
Big Mick 16 May 01 - 10:31 AM
catspaw49 16 May 01 - 10:40 AM
MMario 16 May 01 - 10:42 AM
Matt_R 16 May 01 - 10:42 AM
Dharmabum 16 May 01 - 10:45 AM
KingBrilliant 16 May 01 - 10:47 AM
KingBrilliant 16 May 01 - 10:48 AM
InOBU 16 May 01 - 10:49 AM
wysiwyg 16 May 01 - 10:55 AM
InOBU 16 May 01 - 11:00 AM
GUEST,John Gray / Australia 16 May 01 - 11:07 AM
kendall 16 May 01 - 11:08 AM
Bill D 16 May 01 - 11:23 AM
Big Mick 16 May 01 - 11:25 AM
Kim C 16 May 01 - 11:26 AM
Giac@Brian's 16 May 01 - 11:27 AM
catspaw49 16 May 01 - 11:33 AM
Lyndi-loo 16 May 01 - 11:40 AM
Big Mick 16 May 01 - 11:43 AM
Lyndi-loo 16 May 01 - 11:48 AM
InOBU 16 May 01 - 11:52 AM
wysiwyg 16 May 01 - 11:58 AM
InOBU 16 May 01 - 12:00 PM
Matt_R 16 May 01 - 12:07 PM
fat B****rd 16 May 01 - 12:18 PM
mousethief 16 May 01 - 12:19 PM
LR Mole 16 May 01 - 12:33 PM
Pseudolus 16 May 01 - 12:52 PM
Boab 16 May 01 - 12:56 PM
Kim C 16 May 01 - 12:59 PM
Robby 16 May 01 - 01:10 PM
mousethief 16 May 01 - 01:17 PM
Matt_R 16 May 01 - 01:22 PM
Bill D 16 May 01 - 02:28 PM
GUEST,Captain Swing 16 May 01 - 02:36 PM
Bill D 16 May 01 - 02:54 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 01 - 03:04 PM
Dave the Gnome 16 May 01 - 04:46 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 01 - 05:04 PM
Dave the Gnome 16 May 01 - 05:14 PM
GUEST,Karen 16 May 01 - 05:19 PM
MMario 16 May 01 - 05:25 PM
Dave the Gnome 16 May 01 - 05:29 PM
The Walrus 16 May 01 - 05:41 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 01 - 05:47 PM
GUEST,Karen 16 May 01 - 05:57 PM
Bill D 16 May 01 - 06:04 PM
Dave the Gnome 16 May 01 - 06:48 PM
GUEST,Karen 16 May 01 - 06:53 PM
Seamus Kennedy 16 May 01 - 07:00 PM
Little Hawk 16 May 01 - 07:06 PM
kendall 16 May 01 - 07:19 PM
SINSULL 16 May 01 - 07:21 PM
wysiwyg 16 May 01 - 07:22 PM
LR Mole 17 May 01 - 12:16 PM
MMario 17 May 01 - 12:25 PM
mousethief 17 May 01 - 12:32 PM
Robby 17 May 01 - 01:19 PM
kendall 17 May 01 - 01:56 PM
Pseudolus 17 May 01 - 02:01 PM
Kim C 17 May 01 - 03:27 PM
Wolfgang 17 May 01 - 03:30 PM
Little Hawk 17 May 01 - 08:52 PM
pipsqueak 17 May 01 - 09:08 PM
pipsqueak 17 May 01 - 09:27 PM
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Subject: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,emily-o
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:17 AM

*daed*

***

la la la la la

quack

what *is* the problem with french teachers these days???

ho hum.

muh oh.

???syad eseht srehcaet hcnerf htiw melborp eht *si* tahw

kcauq

al al al al al

***

*dead*


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Murray MacLeod
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:22 AM

.ydal, pleh deen uoY

yarruM


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:25 AM

If a hen and a half could lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:28 AM

Two ferrets.
Kris


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:30 AM

It depends on which leg was wooden


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:31 AM

I'll see your two ferrets and raise you a bag of flatulence....

kciM giB


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:40 AM

And of course if you take cranberries and stew them like prunes, they taste much more like applesauce than rhubarb does.

Something to consider.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:42 AM

is the pickle incandescent or fluorescent? Polish, kosher, dill or sweet? need the facts.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:42 AM

Well SOMEONE is a cynic!


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dharmabum
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:45 AM

No sir,the enlisted men just ride him into town.

DB.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:47 AM

I'll take your bag of flatulance and squeeze it between my ample thighs until it bursts - bang-pong.

Kris


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: KingBrilliant
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:48 AM

.......
It worked on the ferrets - never had no more trouble from them...

Kris


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:49 AM

and all of this and more can be seen at Hugh O'Lunny's Times Sq. Pub THIS SUNDAY, when Sorcha Dorcha will bring the best and oldest and most well loved non-sequitors in Celtic music! Be there or lay and egg! Lerglohish


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 May 01 - 10:55 AM

Hell of a thing having a creative mind, ain't?

~S~


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:00 AM

Duuno, never tried it?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:07 AM

Because of flatulence my sister was banned from night-flying in the LuftWaffe.

JG / F.M.E.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:08 AM

Bill D I think the answer is...The same length of time it would take a hen to build enough pressure to shit through a two inch plank.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:23 AM

is the line about 'not getting into the habit' a nun-sequitor?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:25 AM

You are sick man, Bill D. It is one of the things I like about you.......


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:26 AM

I sat belonely down a tree...


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Giac@Brian's
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:27 AM

Sequestered nuns? I thought it cloistered.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: catspaw49
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:33 AM

What's your pre-occupation with nuns Bill? I seem to recall some photos of nuns doin' some non-sequiturin'.............I don't think I can post them here even though as I recall, you had something to do with at least one of them! If I post the sites, Mario gets booted because of his firewall at school.

Spaw


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:40 AM

What fun does a monk get? Nun


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Big Mick
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:43 AM

OK Lyndi-Loo, I am going to let you get away with that because you are a female. So that is not exactly the same classification as Bill D, hence not a violation of the contract. So you can be one sick woman. I like that in a woman, too....................LOL.

Mick


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Lyndi-loo
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:48 AM

And I won't even mention the laundry in the convent being full of dirty habits


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:52 AM

After all this Alumbergaige, I would direct you to the Mudcat comics, Cat english words posts, while I am off to make a bit of snarph.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 May 01 - 11:58 AM

Mud-fleuthered.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: InOBU
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:00 PM

Mud-fleuthered. to be added to the dictionary on the mucat comic cat english words post....


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:07 PM

Aren't "rambilngs" where the mulliwumps live?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: fat B****rd
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:18 PM

I gotch your mulliwumps, dangling


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:19 PM

Now we get eggnog in one-quart jars,
since that rooster came into our monastery.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: LR Mole
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:33 PM

...humbled fat and small
A little lady sing to me
I could't see at all.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Pseudolus
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:52 PM

!!!!hseehs

knarF


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Boab
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:56 PM

Aye---yin o' ma legs are baith the same----- Boab


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C
Date: 16 May 01 - 12:59 PM

Awright Mole! I knew somebody could come up with the rest. Once upon a time I knew the whole thing, but that's been a few days.

Wasn't there something in there about a piggy?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Robby
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:10 PM

We had a milk cow, no milk would she give (2x)
One day that rooster come into our yard,
And caught that milk cow, WOW
Right off her guard

She's givin milk now in wax containers,
Ever since that rooster come into our yard.

Can't get it out of my head either.*bg*
Robby


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:17 PM

Walkie-talkie man says "hello hello hello"
With his ballerina boots
You can tell he's always on his toes
Hanging from a Christmas tree
Creeping like a bogeyman
Getting up my nose

Hey diddle diddle
The cat and the fiddle
Piggy in the middle
Do a poo-poo!


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Matt_R
Date: 16 May 01 - 01:22 PM

Damn you Alex, you beat me to it!!!

Can Susan be the boxing Evangelical kangaroo?

Donald Duck, Mickey Mouse and Pluto too.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 01 - 02:28 PM

thirty days hath Septober,
April, June, and no wonder
all the rest have peanut butter
except my grandmother; she has a little red tricycle-

and you know the "one from column A...etc" games we used to play? My favorite way to cuss is to link 2 or 3 non-sequetarian words in polysyllabic splendor:

*RETROGRADE ANTHROMORPHIC ROSICRUCIANS*
*AMBIVILENT THRASONICAL NOMENCLATURE*

(your mileage in this exercise, as they say, may vary)


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Captain Swing
Date: 16 May 01 - 02:36 PM

"What's a leg-over, Mother Superior?", enquired the old Abbot.

"It's a pound, brother Abbot", she replied.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 01 - 02:54 PM

There was an old monk from Siberia,
Whose morals were rather inferior.
He did to a nun,
What he shouldn't have done,
And now she's a Mother Superior


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 01 - 03:04 PM

Rak! N'kima want popo. Want popo now! Not want voo-dum with za-balu, want vando popo! Why no popo in wala! N'kima not happy! Kreegah! N'kima see Matt coming! N'kima ugla Matt! N'kima bundolo Matt! Rak! Gom, Matt, gom!


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 04:46 PM

As I was going to St Ives
I met a man with seven wives.
Each wife had seven sacks.
Each sack had seven cats.
Each cat had seven kits.
Sacks, kits, cats and wives
how many were going to St Ives?

If it takes two men a month to work a fortnight how many bananas in a bunch of grapes?

I've been dying to post those two but, until now, no-one has started a thread daft enough!

Thanks Emily-O (Emilio? Are you Puerto Rican?)

Cheers

Dave the Gnome


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:04 PM

Dave,

I am no math whiz, but I think the answers are:

1. 2,800

2. none


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:14 PM

Wrong on both counts LH - sorry but no prize today! I will have to keep you in suspenders though in case anyone else wants a go.

Keep trying *BG*

Dave the Gnome


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:19 PM

Well, the Saint Ives answer is one but I've never heard the second riddle. Is it a real riddle or did you just make it up?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:25 PM

1 GOING to St. Ives.

and for the second 1/4rth?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:29 PM

Humph... Mmario got it in one. How did you know it took one of the men to drive the steam engine?

Of course it's real Karen - sureal!

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: The Walrus
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:41 PM

DtG

The answer to your second riddle is simple, it's a fish this colour.

Walrus.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:47 PM

Ah, I see...one was going to St. Ives. I get it now. Should've known...

- LH


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 16 May 01 - 05:57 PM

Oh, Little Hawk. How very sad for you! Okay, here's one I know you can do: Tommy Tucker took two strings and tied two turtles to two tall trees. How many T's in that?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Bill D
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:04 PM

eclectic epileptic eccentrics


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:48 PM

2 of course, Karen!

Doesn't really work written but try saying to someone "Constantinople is a very long word. Spell it"

Also there is no way of writing "there are three ways of spelling two" - doesn't make sense whichever spelling you use.

Eeeehhhh. Takes me back to school days...:-)

Cheers

DtG


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 16 May 01 - 06:53 PM

Ssssh! DtG, I KNOW it's an easy one. I'm trying to make Little Hawk feel better for not knowing the old St. Ives riddle. Play along!!!!


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Seamus Kennedy
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:00 PM

You people are talking more balls to the square inch than any two half-eejits I know.

Seamus


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:06 PM

This is really getting pathetic...

- LH


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:19 PM

Higgledy piggledy Benjamin Harrison, served between Clevelands but, other than that idiosyncrasy didn't do much.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: SINSULL
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:21 PM

2 "t"s in "that"
And everyone knew the "St. Ives' answer because it played a bit part in a Bruce what's his name movie.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: wysiwyg
Date: 16 May 01 - 07:22 PM

Here's to you, my rambilng boy....

... and to Waltizng Matilda, too.

~S~


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: LR Mole
Date: 17 May 01 - 12:16 PM

Why, you could be a patron of the arts. Do you follow me?"
"Why, yes."
"Well, stop following me or I'll have you arrested."


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: MMario
Date: 17 May 01 - 12:25 PM

I do believe bruce what'shisname is younger then I am - and I learned the answer to St. Ives before I entered grammer school!!!! whyfor you putting down my mastery of trivia, sinsull?


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: mousethief
Date: 17 May 01 - 12:32 PM

The point of the St. Ives riddle, of course, is that "I met a man" used to mean we were going in opposite directions. Otherwise you'd have to say "I overtook a man" or "I was overtaken by a man."

Nowadays we don't use the word "met" nearly so carefully, so the riddle kind of loses its point as a teacher of grammar.

It's still fun though.


Matt R, please don't damn me. I'm not a torpedo.


Father Charles Goes Down And Ends Battle Battle Ends, And Down Goes Charles's Father.


Alex


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Robby
Date: 17 May 01 - 01:19 PM

One, two buckle my shoe, Have none of us anything else to do?

In the nature of "picky, picky,picky", shouldn't "served between Clevelands" be "served between Cleveland's"? After all there was only one US President named Cleveland, even if he is counted as the 22nd and 24th Presidents.
Robby


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: kendall
Date: 17 May 01 - 01:56 PM

My youngest daughter solved the riddle of St. Ives when she was 6. What is this? The rich don't want it,
The poor don't need it,
It is more evil than Satan
It is stronger than God.
If you eat it, you will die.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Pseudolus
Date: 17 May 01 - 02:01 PM

Take the number 40 and divide it by 1/2, then add 10 and divde by 3......what do you get?

Frank


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Kim C
Date: 17 May 01 - 03:27 PM

Nothing.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Wolfgang
Date: 17 May 01 - 03:30 PM

I get bored and 30


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: Little Hawk
Date: 17 May 01 - 08:52 PM

I tried, and I didn't get anything either...I think it's rigged.

- LH

Kendall - the answer to yours is one of Spaw's gaseous emissions, after a big dinner of pickled eggs & borscht.


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: pipsqueak
Date: 17 May 01 - 09:08 PM

Hello, I'm new here & forgot what I was gonna say !

ps what's the answer to the rich poor thingy ? or have I got to sit here and guess for a week ?

ps


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Subject: RE: very very bored off-topic rambilngs
From: pipsqueak
Date: 17 May 01 - 09:27 PM

Oh it's nothing ! sorry - feeling slightly distracted after reading so many different threads.... I can see it's going to be hard keeping track of things round here. I like that song thread, about digging in the garden.


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