Song Challenge! - Part 56

Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 03:45 PM

I love this Challenge! idea from Amos -- even though I had a great plumbing story to give you (hahahaha) -- So, let's ruffle some feathers around this birdcage with:

Polly Want a Divorce? SHANGHAI (Reuters) - A Chinese housewife is seeking divorce claiming the family's talking bird dropped clues on her husband's illicit affair, state media said on Tuesday.

The woman from southwestern Chongqing city said she uncovered the affair when their mynah began saying things like "Divorce," "I love you" and "Be patient" after it overheard the husband's telephone calls with his mistress, the Xinmin Evening News said.

The woman said she noticed the feathered tattle-tale's strange new vocabulary after she returned from a month-long visit with her parents that started in May. Already suspecting her husband was having an affair, she observed that the bird became particularly talkative whenever the telephone rang, confirming her suspicions, the report said.

Last week she brought the bird to a law office for consultation, hoping it could testify in court.

"Can my mynah be used as witness?" the newspaper quoted her as asking.

Lawyers were not optimistic. "The judges are unlikely to rule against your husband based only on the mynah's words," attorney Wu Di was quoted as telling her.

Go (or flap) For It, Challenge!rs!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 04:17 PM

Okey dokey...

(To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad")

I've been staying with my parents
All the month of May.
I've been staying with my parents
And I just got home today.
Can't you hear the mynah crowing,
Saying the word until he's hoarse?
Can't you hear the lawyer shouting:
"Mynah, say 'divorce' "?

Mynah, won't you say
Mynah, won't you say
Mynah, won't you say "divorce"?
Mynah, won't you say
Mynah, won't you say
Mynah, won't you say divorce"?

Husband's in the kitchen with Mynah
Husband's in the kitchen, I know
Husband's in the kitchen with Mynah
Whisp'ring in the phone so low

Saying: "Let's go fiddle around-o
"Let's go fiddle around-o
"Let's go fiddle around-o"
Whisp'ring in the phone so low!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: mousethief
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 04:26 PM

APPLAUSE! Well done, Sharon The Self-Flagellant!

Maybe if the courts don't grant her a divorce, she can still have her husband prosecuted for contributing to the delinquency of a mynah?

Okay, sorry, I'm off to write a song.

Alex

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 04:30 PM

Mynahs Can'T Testify
(tune: Long Black Veil)


She walks Chongqing, with her mynah bird tale
She visits the judge, and the mynah bird wails
"Nobody knows, nobody sees
Just the telephone and me..."

Two weeks ago, I had just come back
From my parents home, I was not un-packed
I was all alone, just my mynah and me
That bird it said "D,I,V,O,R,C,E"

chorus:

I thought it strange, that a bird should spell
And such a word, bizarre as hell!
Then it said "My dear, please patient be
"we'll just have to wait, for the final decree

chorus

Since that day, when the phone it rings
the feathered tattle tale birdie sings
Each word it says, it has heard before,
From my cheating Husband, so I'm out the door!

chorus

Judge, can you swear in a mynah bird?
The truth in this tale now it should be heard
This bird doesn't lie, I will swear my life
Please make me no longer, that bastard's wife!

chorus


--- Line break fixed. ---

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 04:38 PM

I prufred it ! Honest!

dang html!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,Coal Mynah
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 05:09 PM

The second part is slow 12 bar blues, to be performed similar in style and tempo to "Love in Vain" (Robert Johnson) as done by the Rolling Stones. The Intro you probably know.

Blues In a Mynah Key

Intro

Now the bird heard the bird heard the word
The bird bird bird Bird heard the word

She came back home from the station, with a suitcase in her hand
Well she, back home from the station, with a suitcase in her hand
When she came back home from the station, I was still her lovin' man

Next day when I came home she didn't say a word
Next day when I came home she didn't say a word
She said that she was tired, I blamed it on the bird

She went out to see a lawyer to see if she can sue
She went out to see a lawyer to see if she can sue
She asked me for a divorce, I don't know what to do

I could tell the bird was lonely when I went to work you see
I could tell the bird was lonely so I turned on the TV
What is daytime TV about? D - I - V -O- R- C- E

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 05:25 PM

I saw this one in the paper, and was just thinking of suggesting it. Amos beat me to it - he moves quick. I couldn't resistthis:

Mynah's Lifeguard

"Mynah's life is life in danger
of the silence of the grave.
If he tells just any stranger
How the old man misbehaved.
If the missus chanced to hear ye,
Careless bird you're sure to fail
So keep your mind upon your birdseed
And that beak tucked up your tail."
Union Mynah's sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the master,
And the missus will prevail.

"I've been locked there in a prison,
I've been laughed at for his fun.
What have I to show for talking
since my Mynah's life begun?
Worn out beak and worn out tonsils,
Broken voice and seed that's stale,
You can take your bloody birdseed,
You can stuff it up your tail."
Union Mynah's sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the master,
And the missus will prevail.

"For the truth is, birds with memory
Keep your falsehoods in our mind.
God provides for every Mynah
If he tells the truth in time.
And like bold birds of a feather
Victory will sure prevail.
Mynahs strike, and win together,
If we'll only tell the tale."
Union Mynahs sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the master,
And the missus will prevail.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 21 Jun 01 - 05:44 PM

Marvelous brilliant, McGrath!!!

The whole lot of youse are top-drawer, which is where he shoulda kept the dang bird!!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 04:15 AM

I offer this as a possible future challenge, scope for sentimental song: (BTW the pig was saved by the judge)

The owner of a retired celebrity pig is fighting a legal battle to save him from the foot-and-mouth slaughter. Grunty, a rare Maori kune kune pig, starred in a children's television film and has his own website.

But his fame did not stop an inspector from the Department for Environment Food and Rural Affairs (Defra) from ordering him to be culled under the foot-and-mouth regulations.

Grunty's farm in Somerset was condemned because his owner had visited another of her holdings, which turned out to be infected.

Rosemary Upton, of Hill Farm, Stawley, near Wellington, Somerset, is applying for permission to seek a judicial review.

Appearing for her, Stephen Smith QC, suggested that Grunty had a much stronger case for survival than Phoenix the calf, saved after a blaze of publicity in April.

Grunty starred in Pig at the Ritz on Channel Five and in pleasanter times has accompanied Mrs Upton on trips to the local village.
(c)BBC ONline

RtS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 06:31 AM

Here is Grunty's website.

Here's that last song I posted, slightly modified:

Mynah's Lifeguard

"Mynah's life is life in danger
of the silence of the grave.
Telling every passing stranger
How the old man misbehaved.
If the missus chanced to hear ye,
Careless Mynah's sure to fail.
Keep your mind upon your birdseed
And your beak tucked up your tail."
Union Mynah's sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the devil,
And the Mynahs will prevail.

"I've been locked here in your prison,
I've been laughed at for your fun.
What have I to show for talking
since this Mynah's life begun?
Worn out beak and worn out tonsils,
Broken voice and seed that's stale,
You can take your precious birdseed,
Stuff it up your precious tail."
Union Mynah's sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the devil,
And the Mynahs will prevail.

"For in truth we birds with memory
Keep your falsehoods in our mind.
God provides for every Mynah
When he tells the truth in time.
And for bold birds of a feather
Victory will sure prevail.
We can strike, and win together,
When the Mynah tells his tale."
Union Mynah's sing together,
Do not heed the master's wail -
Tell the truth and shame the devil,
And the Mynahs will prevail.

(Maybe it should be Avian Mynahs? Probably not.)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:05 AM

SUre, McGrath, and don't fret about that last wee issue. It's a mynah point, after all.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:08 AM

Amos! *THWAP!*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:56 AM

McGrath: Nah, I like the idea of a mynah's union (with birdseed for dues?). Right now my mind's ear is listening to Patsy Cline belt out your song. It sounds just lovely! And such a sad song, Coal Mynah (do you have a daughter?)! MMario, I wish I knew the tune to sing along with your piece; is the one in DT a different version? I can't make heads or tails of that tune (I'm balladally challenged).

mousethief: Who's calling whom what?? You can't fool me; I saw your 6/20/01 post on the SCA thread! Sounded pretty self-debasing to me.

Here's 'nuther song:


"Mynah Can Spat" Dance
(Tune: Mexican Hat Dance)

Oh, I want you to be a divorcee
'Cause I heard that old mynah of yours say
All that you (in my absence, of course) say
To your lover-girl over the phone!

"Divorce, divorce, divorce"...
Don't tell me you have remorse
For what you've done. My source
Has said that you said, "Divorce"!

Oh, the bird says you tell her, "I love you."
Though I'd thought that you put me above you,
I've developed a diff'rent point óf view
And I'm kicking you out on your own!

Divorce, divorce, divorce
Is what I would like to force
But will the judge endorse
A mynah that says, "Divorce"?!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: mousethief
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 10:58 AM

Okay, I'm checking in finally. Wrote this in the car on the way to work. Missed the news, even.

Heard It From the Mynah
(Tune: Heard It Through the Grapevine)

Ooooh, I bet you wonder how I knew
About your plans to make me blue
With some little gal on the telephone
That you talk to when I'm not at home
I know you pla-a-an to let me go
A little birdie told me so

Oooh, I heard it from the mynah
As a mimic, no bird's fynah
Oooh, I heard it from the mynah
And I'd like to give your eye a shynah
Honey honey, yeah

(background singers:
Heard it from the mynah
Not much longer will you be my hus-band)

Now, a mimic is this bird, of course
So how'd it learn to say the word "divorce"?
And "Be patient; wait a little more"
Unless you said it to your little wh***?
Now it's been a rotten week
Since I heard it from my birdie's beak

Oooh, I heard it from the mynah
As a mimic, no bird's fynah
Yeah, I heard it from the mynah
Now my tears are smearing' my eye-lynah
(Honey, honey, yeah)

So I went down to my lawyer's place
Stuck my mynah in my lawyer's face
And said, "Tell the man just what you heard!"
And my mynah said the "divorce" word
But my lawyer looked me in the eye
He said, "Lady, birds can't testify!"

Oooh, I heard it from the mynah
As a mimic, no bird's fynah
Yeah, I heard it from the mynah
And I'd like to kick your fat behynah
(Honey, honey, yeah)

Copyright ©2001 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 11:43 AM

What terrible things does the mynah ken!
His beak can spout more than his hi... (well, maybe that's a bit too graphic)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 11:52 AM

Gosh, you guys are quick and good! To be honest, I thought it would take a while for y'all to warm up to this one. With a big grin on my face, I'm handing out these Silver B.L.O.B.s to you:

Two to SharonA for:

I've been staying with my parents
All the month of May.
I've been staying with my parents
And I just got home today.
Can't you hear the mynah crowing,
Saying the word until he's hoarse?
Can't you hear the lawyer shouting:
"Mynah, say 'divorce' "?

AND

Oh, I want you to be a divorcee
'Cause I heard that old mynah of yours say
All that you (in my absence, of course) say
To your lover-girl over the phone!

To MMario for this lovely chorus:

She walks Chongqing, with her mynah bird tale
She visits the judge, and the mynah bird wails
"Nobody knows, nobody sees
Just the telephone and me..."

To Coal Mynah for:

I could tell the bird was lonely when I went to work you see
I could tell the bird was lonely so I turned on the TV
What is daytime TV about? D - I - V -O- R- C- E

And to the wonderful McGrath of Harlow for (taken from the 2nd version):

"I've been locked here in your prison,
I've been laughed at for your fun.
What have I to show for talking
since this Mynah's life begun?
Worn out beak and worn out tonsils,
Broken voice and seed that's stale,
You can take your precious birdseed,
Stuff it up your precious tail."

To mousethief for the hilarious:

Now, a mimic is this bird, of course
So how'd it learn to say the word "divorce"?
And "Be patient; wait a little more"
Unless you said it to your little wh***?
Now it's been a rotten week
Since I heard it from my birdie's beak

Whoa! You all are 'hot' today!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 01:41 PM

LOL!!! Appalause!!! Appaloosa!!! aPPEASE!!! Aw, please!!! This is a real PWO!!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Clifton53
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 02:31 PM

I'll Tell Me Mah

I'll tell me mah when she comes home
Her man won't leave that girl alone
She pressures him to play and roam
Ring ring ring goes the gawdamn phone
Secret lover yes indeed
The dirty old dog will spread his seed
I'm but a mynah but I'm real smart
I won't let him break her heart

Sittin' up here upon my perch
Just like a priest inside the church
I hear every word that's said
Jot them down inside my head
I'll nail his carcass to the wall
If the judge will let me cawl
My story it is short and sweet
We'll throw that bum out on the street
She is handsome she is pretty
She is the belle of Chongqing City
She'll be happy yesiree
I'm gonna make her a divorcee

Let his lawyer cry and blow
I'm gonna get my Mah that dough
Toss him out right on his ear
Oh just wait until they hear
"Divorce", "be patient", "bide your time",
He tells that floozy all the time
Just like that and she'll be free
Teach the bum 'bout loyalty
She is handsome she is pretty
She is the belle of Chongqing City
She'll be happy yesiree
I'm gonna make her a divorcee

Wish I had more time folks but I'm off to work. Great job everyone!!! Bring on the pig!!

Clifton

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 07:33 PM

Great song, Clifton! Feel free to add more to it this weekend, OK? Meanwhile, here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for:

Sittin' up here upon my perch
Just like a priest inside the church
I hear every word that's said
Jot them down inside my head
I'll nail his carcass to the wall
If the judge will let me cawl

I love it! -- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: JenEllen
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 07:47 PM

LMAO! Wonderful stuff!

When I was a Mynah (younger daze- to 'When I was Single')

I was just a chick when he brought me home
Now all he wants are the chicks on the phone
It's "Yes I love you," "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" while I sit alone

She walked in the door and I chirped a hello
The rest of it slipped out, how did she know?
It's "Yes, I love you," "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" just like on the phone

I don't know Pavlov, but the guy must be smart
When I hear the ringing it speeds up my heart and
It's "Yes, I love you" "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" all from the start

Went to the lawyer and he looked at me sage
They'd need more black and white than what's in my cage
With my "Yes, I love you" "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" while I turn the page

If they'd only asked, I could've told them more
All that I'd heard through the bedroom door
More than "Yes. I love you" "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" and that's for sure

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 22 Jun 01 - 07:58 PM

Wow! Yet another great song from JenEllen!! Go girlfriend!! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for the mirth-making:

Went to the lawyer and he looked at me sage
They'd need more black and white than what's in my cage
With my "Yes, I love you" "I'll divorce her"
"Please be patient" while I turn the page

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 01 - 01:16 AM

Aw, Jenerator you're something else!!! I have your song dancing in me fevered brain!! A lilting bright, and a one and a two and "YES!!! I love you....". Just CHARMIN, is what!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Bradypus
Date: 23 Jun 01 - 06:49 PM

To the tune of 'Delilah' ...

My Mynah

I saw the light in his eyes when I said I was leaving
To visit my parents. He said "Honey, sure, on you go"
I left my mynah
My mynah heard every word, and now I'm in the know

My my my, my mynah
Why, why, why, my mynah
I could see his love was ceasing to be
But I had no proof, that's the truth, 'til my mynah told me

Day after day on the phone my bird heard the pair talking
Whispers of loving and D I V O R C E
In time it learned them
It sang them to me, and I listened and longed to be free

My my my, my mynah
Why, why, why, my mynah
I could see his love was ceasing to be
But I had no proof, that's the truth, 'til my mynah told me

So to my lawyer I went, taking mynah bird with me.
"I want a divorce, and I want every penny he's got.
This bird's my witness"
But birds can't take oaths, so that oaf will got off like as not,

My my my, my mynah
Why, why, why, my mynah
You can swear, but in court they just don't seem to care
I'm sorry, my mynah, but justice is not always fair.

Here's the new plan that we've hatched between me and my mynah.
Here's a cassette, and the button to make it record
Next time he phones her
My mynah will press down the button and catch every word

My my my, my mynah
Why, why, why, my mynah
We'll be free, we'll find fame and end up on TV
Rich and happy forever, together, my mynah and me
Rich and happy forever, together, my mynah and me

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jun 01 - 06:52 PM

LOL! Wodda a talent, BP!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 10:27 AM

Hey Bradypus! LOL! I love it! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for this great resolving verse:

Here's the new plan that we've hatched between me and my mynah.
Here's a cassette, and the button to make it record
Next time he phones her
My mynah will press down the button and catch every word

Well done! Now, everyone check back later today for the great Golden Cow Chip Awards, which will be tossed out into the waiting arms of all you Challenge!rs later today -- as soon as the repairman fixes the air conditioner (pant, pant, pant).

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 10:30 AM

sing christmas songs and think cold snowy thoughts. It may not help the heat, but heck, it could be fun.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Trapper
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 12:35 PM

Here's my submission...

- Al

POLLY WOLLY DIDDLE
New words by Al Boyce 6/25/2001

Oh, I went down south for to see my folks
My husband and my mynah bird stayed
In my bed he was giving his mistress strokes,
And Polly watched him diddle all the day.

Chorus:
Fare thee well, Fare thee well,
Fare thee well, my Li Wang Hei
For I'm goin' to my lawyer, with Polly on my shoulder
Cause Polly watched you diddle all the day.

He said "I love you" and "DIVORCE"
And Polly watched him diddle all the day.
The bird learned all these words of course
'Cause Polly watched him diddle all the day.

CHORUS

My lawyer's case would not be heard
And Polly watched him diddle all the day.
So I moved out and flipped Wang the bird...
'Cause Polly watched him diddle all the day.

CHORUS

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: mousethief
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 12:43 PM

Applause!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 12:46 PM

*guffaw*

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 12:49 PM

Brilliant, Trapper!!! ROTFLMAO!! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for:

My lawyer's case would not be heard
And Polly watched him diddle all the day.
So I moved out and flipped Wang the bird...
'Cause Polly watched him diddle all the day

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 04:15 PM

Help! I can't stop!!!


OL' MYNAH'S DAUGHTER

Well, I was born an ol' mynah's daughter
In a pet store next to "Ever'thing's a Dollar"
Under Mommie's wing at night
She'd teach this lesson by the pale streetlight:
"Whatever someone whispers, you should holler."

One day, a lady took me to Chongqing city
To a gilded cage where I was sittin' pretty
Eatin' crackers by the score
I would holler anytime I wanted more
By repeating things she thought were awful witty.

In the spring, she packed her bags and she went away
And told her husband he should talk to me ever' day
Till the time that she returned
But her tender love he spurned.
For cheatin' on his wife, I'd make him pay.

By the summertime I'd learned his vocabulary
With his mistress on the phone; he wasn't wary
Of the things that I might say
When his wife would come back ths way.
When I tattled on him, things got pretty hairy.

Yeah! I'm proud to be an ol' mynah's daughter!
I remember well that threats were made to slaughter
This bird who worked so hard
When that bad man let down his guard,
'Cause I memorized his whispers that I would holler.

Well, the tune he sang has changed since way back then
And it's so good that his wife's back again
'Cause her husband's out the door;
She don't hear him anymore
Except the mimics by an ol' mynah's daughter.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 04:18 PM

Whoops! I should've mentioned that the tune for that last song is Loretta Lynn's "Coal Miner's Daughter" (just in case anyone's not familiar with it). Sorry!

SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 04:24 PM

Whoops again: correction time...
Line 10 should read, "By repeatin' things she thought were awful witty."
Line 19 should read, "When his wife would come back this way."

Arrgh. Sorry again.
SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 05:11 PM

Best one yet Sharon. Tea flew on that one. Is there a Dolittle Lynn addition to the cowchips now Aine???

~J

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 05:57 PM

Aw, shuckin's. Thanks, JenEllen!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 08:36 PM

Bravos all around!!! Uncontainable guffaw prizes to Trapper and Sharon for those last two!! Rave on!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 25 Jun 01 - 10:31 PM

Oh SharonA, that last one is definitely a Silverplated Spittoon candidate!! I'd barely gotten off the floor from Bradypus' song when I saw yours -- you guys are really costing me in soap and water, ya know '-)!!

Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for my fav verse:

Yeah! I'm proud to be an ol' mynah's daughter!
I remember well that threats were made to slaughter
This bird who worked so hard
When that bad man let down his guard,
'Cause I memorized his whispers that I would holler.

Geez, you all are good!!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Dharmabum
Date: 26 Jun 01 - 10:05 AM

I'm still a little burnt out from Old Songs,but here goes.

DARK AS AN OVEN
(Sung to Dark as a Dungeon)

Come all you young Minah's
And heed what I tell.
Or you'll end up like me
Roasting in Parrot Hell.
Choose the words wisely
That fly from your beak.
Or you'll meet my demise
And have a future so bleak.

(Chorus)
Now it's hot in this oven
Oh what shall I do.
My feathers are plucked
And I'm Thanksgiving stew.
I'll be served with cranberries
And potatoes so sweet.
As I wear paper booties
On my little feet.

I listened intently
When the phone rang.
And then to the Misses
Like a stoolpigeon I sang.
I tattled about
His affair with that slut.
But now I just wish
That I'd kept my trap shut.

(Chorus)
Cause I'm stuck in this oven
And my feathers are plucked.
My giblets are burning
And I'm certain I'm fucked.
I'll be served with cranberries
And potatoes so sweet.
As I wear paper booties
On my little feet.

If you don't wanna end up
Swimming in Marinate.
Be careful what you say
When you enunciate.
Be cautious be careful
Heed my warning & word.
You're better off just
Being seen & not heard.

(Chorus)
Don't tell of affairs
Of the wife's other half.
You may just end up
Being the fatted calf.
And I cannot think
Of a worse way to go.
While they're eating Parrot
I'm dining on Crow.

If I could go back
I'd be a good little bird.
And I wouldn't tattle
About what I heard.
I'd be so angelic
As I sat in my cage.
Instead of being stuffed
Full of breadcrumbs & sage.

(Chorus)
Cause it's dark in this oven
And I cannot see.
And I'm getting dizzy
On this rotisserie.
And I fear that I'll die
By this flame fed with gas.
And it's rather unpleasant
With this stick up my ass.

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Dharmabum
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 07:12 AM

Got more?

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Amos
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 08:27 AM

LOL!!! Bravo DB!!

A

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: MMario
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 09:01 AM

"I'll be served with cranberries
And potatoes so sweet.
As I wear paper booties
On my little feet.
"

another keyboard shot to hell.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Dharmabum
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 09:49 AM

I'm still wiping coffee off of my screen from all of you guys!!!!

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:19 AM

Oh DB -- that is one excellent spit-making, screen-scrubbing song!!!!! Here's your Silver B.L.O.B. for my fav verse:

Cause it's dark in this oven
And I cannot see.
And I'm getting dizzy
On this rotisserie.
And I fear that I'll die
By this flame fed with gas.
And it's rather unpleasant
With this stick up my ass.

Bravo!

-- Áine

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 10:23 AM

Me, I'm just feeling so sorry for that poor bird of Dharmabum's... roasted ALIVE!!! Yikes!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Dharmabum
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 11:58 AM

Yea Sharon, he wasn't treated very well,was he?

Just for the record,I'm against animal cruelty***BG***

DB.

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: mousethief
Date: 27 Jun 01 - 12:03 PM

No birds were harmed in the making of this thread!

Great work, DB!

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 05:00 AM

Well, the AC is still not fixed yet; so, I'm too hot to sleep -- so, of course, I'm on the 'Cat and drowsily handing out your well earned awards for this Challenge! You all outdid yourselves on this one -- I just hope that you have something left for the next one (hehehehe).

As you can see, we have yet another new award, The Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration -- Thanks to JenEllen and SharonA for instigating the creation of one more kind of cow chip to grace the mantels of you fantastic Challenge!rs.

Cudos, congrats and much, much thanks for another wunnerful Challenge! -- Áine

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song):
"Mynah Can Spat" Dance by SharonA
Mynah, Say 'Divorce' by SharonA
Mynahs Can't Testify by MMario

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears):
Heard It From the Mynah by mousethief
I'll Tell Me Mah by Clifton53
Mynah's Lifeguard by McGrath of Harlow
When I Was A Mynah by JenEllen

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song):
My Mynah by Bradypus
Polly Wolly Diddle by Trapper

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield (Cleigh's Blue Fume Shield is given to the best blues rendition of any challenge topic):
Blues In a Mynah Key by Coal Mynah

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip Award with Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen):
Dark as an Oven by Dharmabum

***************NEW AWARD! NEW AWARD! NEW AWARD!***************

Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration (The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration is awarded for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!):
Ol' Mynah's Daughter by SharonA

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: GUEST,SharonA
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:12 AM

I... I...... I don't know what to say. I'm overwhelmed.

I'll have to borrow a line: "You like me! You really like me!"

I'm deeply honored to accept the first Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration. I'll display it proudly on my virtual mantel forever. Thank you (sniff) I have to run off to the virtual ladies' room now and have a good bawl; I'm so happyyyyyyy...

SharonA :,^)

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:19 AM

Thanks for the Kudo's

What's a "Silver B.L.O.B."

Coal Mynah

Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 56
From: Áine
Date: 28 Jun 01 - 10:32 AM

Dear Rob,

A Silver B.L.O.B. (Best Line O' Bull) -- is given to each Challenge!r for a distinctive verse in each song. It's the Keeper of the Book's way of encouraging folks, ya see. ;-)

-- Áine