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BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse
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Subject: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: GUEST Date: 13 Jul 01 - 05:58 PM I know, I've had the displeasure of seeing it - albeit in bathing trunks. He has skinny knees, too. --- Such personal attacks, particularly in thread titles, are not appropriate in this Forum. --- ---Jeff (PA)--- |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Amergin Date: 13 Jul 01 - 06:20 PM would have been funnier if this had been written when the first (name removed) post was done....as it is now it's kinda late... |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: hesperis Date: 13 Jul 01 - 06:31 PM Yeah, amergin. You're probably right. What do you bet this one was the person's own idea? |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Amergin Date: 13 Jul 01 - 06:55 PM yeah i am positive of it, hes... |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Sorcha Date: 13 Jul 01 - 09:15 PM o shut up. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 13 Jul 01 - 10:39 PM I heard a rumour that this thread was about me, but I'm not sure, because my own computer hookup to the Net has been incapacitated all day today...Friday the 13th. I am now using a friend's computer to access Mudcat. How about that, eh? If it was, indeed, referring to me, then it is an entirely accurate observation. I have an exceedingly scrawny arse, which fairly well matches the rest of my anatomy in scrawniness. In fact, I once mooned Mike Harris (the Conservative dictator of Ontario), and was NOT EVEN NOTICED! I also streaked the 1979 feminist's conference at Trent University's Wenjack Theatre..onstage...in front of an audience of at least 400 testosterone-intolerant females. Nobody noticed that either. There are advantages to this malady, however. It's very easy to melt away into the crowd, which can be handy on numerous occasions. If I were inclined to rob banks, I can see where this could be very convenient indeed. Perhaps I have taken up the wrong profession? The thing that's really troubling me is...who would launch a thread like this? Who would wish to draw attention to my anatomical assets/liabilities/what-have-you? Who would stoop so low? A person with no restraint, that's who. A person with no sense of decency. A vile wretch beyond redemption. A friend. There are very few people who have seen me in swimming trunks and most of them live in Orillia... Case almost closed. On the other hand, maybe I am off on a complete tangent here, and the thread was actually about Spaw...or Amergin...or Lepus Rex (where has he been anyway?). If so, then I am simply blowing bubbles here, and wasting both my time and yours, if you've had the fortitude to read this far. You out there, flattop? - LH
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Uncle_DaveO Date: 13 Jul 01 - 10:54 PM So bloomin' what? |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: hesperis Date: 13 Jul 01 - 11:12 PM You couldn't access the Net all day? And here I thought YOU started the thread... hmmmm. You know, I think that the first post in this thread was sarcastically trying to say that prejudice is a problem no matter what your attributes... there are always going to be people who think that what you've got is offensive in some way, and some people who love it. Whatever floats your boat. Or, as DaveO says so succinctly: "So bloomin' what?" |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:44 AM Hey Little Hawk, you aren't a skinny arsed biker are you? There are places for skinny arses, leather trousers for one..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Amergin Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:57 AM hmmm, i thought it was him, also Hes...maybe it was flattop doing some fantasizing.... |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Liz the Squeak Date: 14 Jul 01 - 03:05 AM Maybe those with medium, average sized arses are getting annoyed with us with arses of some distinction.....? Frankly I like all arses except silly ones.. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 03:17 AM Here's a picture of my arse. (Just in case anybody wants to see it.) What do you think? |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Amergin Date: 14 Jul 01 - 05:36 AM Whoooohooo! |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 10:46 AM Thanks Amergin. Come on you guys! Who's next? |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: flattop Date: 14 Jul 01 - 11:57 AM Carol has kindly pointed out in a PM that I got honourable mention on this thread. She didn't mention that she used me as one of the Ratatouille arses (mine's not the most attractive arse in the picture.) To me, this thread seems to be full of misconceptions. First of all, I didn't write the original post. It may have been written less for parody than for balance. Our Guest poster wrote a rather mild piece and left a wee bit of room for Little Hawk's arse to fit in nicely. Secondly, I have never seen Little Hawk in his swimming trunks, not even shorts. He probably wears those long stripped trunks that you'd expect Fatty Arbuckle to wear in old movies that goes down to his knees and up to his nipples. I really don't know. I wasn't the person who was in Murray Clealand's hot tub with Little Hawk. Nor did I ever see him in a kilt. I have many strange memories of the hawk but I have no outstanding memories of his arse. For example, I remember waking up in the back seat of his car when he was driving home to Orillia. He was telling Carol about the time President Carter was thoroughly eaten by killer bunnies, about the CIA whacking bunnies out of the water with paddles, shooting at them with pistols and spraying the poor little bunnies with volleys tear gas, all in vain as more and more bunnies munched on the blandest of presidents without even ketchup. Earlier, the Hawker had been talking about spiritual things when I dozed off. Puts me to sleep. I don't know about you. I will admit that I knew Murray many years before Little Hawk did. I knew Murray back when he lived on Mount Saint Louis Road and his son Toddy terrorized neighbors - neighbors like Frenchie, part of the family with the 99-year lease on the hamburger and chip stand across from Couchiching park. We used to play guitar and drums in Frenchie's garage with Jerry Brown and Murray but that's another story. Frenchie played the trumpet. Susie blew something too. A final misconception, Amergin, may be that Little Hawk was accusing me of writing the Guest post. I'm not sure. He may be calling on me as an arse expert to immortalize his arse. He's probably already wrenched his back trying to see his spindly ass and write lyrics about it. The guy would never think of anything practical like using a mirror or asking Unis at Song Circle to describe it for him. Besides he know that I can write much better than him about these things. I could write alarming stories about his strange fingernails, his hats, his funny clothes, his harmonica purses, etc. Unfortunately, as I mentioned above, my Little Hawk arse memories are thin. Last night, poet Mike Rowbottom mentioned to me in Newmarket that that he saw Unis and Larry and a bunch of other folks like Half-Dead-Ted on Thursday night at Don's Coffee House. Turns out, Don has a strawberry social 4 o'clock this afternoon at the Coffeehouse featuring Half-Dead-Ted, Jack and the other fellow. Mike plans to go. Rowbottom has written great poems since I talked him into moving away from the whimsical towards his painful failures with women. He had been writing these light little poems about the sky and the moon and the ducks but, at the same time, he would keep me in Newmarket until 2 in the morning telling me great stories about his life and how women hurt him. A couple of weeks ago Mike wrote 20 poems in the one week. That was the week after I pushed him to write about sex or lack of sex. He attributes the 20 poems to a woman who believes she had energy placing her hand on his chest and making him feel electrified. Yeah, electrified like Ted Bundy. The friday after he wrote the 20 poems, the Corner Coffee House held their monthly Moving Finger Poetry Open Mike hosted by Doritta Kozak. (Marie Lynn Hammond has been out to the poetry readings since Doritta took over.) I was confused by the schedule and went on the wrong night. I normally avoid poetry nights. Well Mike gave the best reading that I ever hear him give. He had great poems and really connected with the audience. He singled me out by introducing first poem with, 'I wrote this poem for my friend Dave who told me that if I wrote like Leonard Cohen I might have a chance of getting even one woman.' But that ok. I can take it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 01:05 PM You have a great arse, flattop. It's just that no one can see it under those circus tents you use as pants. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:13 PM flattop - That was a fulsome and heroic response, flatso. Very interesting and informative. I didn't actually think you started the thread, but I did think you could offer some useful comments, and you certainly have done that. This guy Mike...I don't think I know him. 20 poems in one week? That's what happens when you have absolutely no luck with the opposite sex. It worked for me for like a charm over the years. The less romantic satisfaction, the more creativity. As long as he continues resting in his illusions, I'm sure the poetry will keep coming. Leonard Cohen also found that his writing tended to fall off when he had female company. (Other things tended to almost fall off too...after awhile...) Unfortunately, he was unable to resist the legions of women who wanted to share his torment and anguish, so the result was that...despite a pretty decent output...Leonard ended up doing far less writing than might otherwise have been the case. Just think what the world has lost, merely so that Lenny could satisfy his lust! Carol - I'm sure there are many people desirous of seeing your arse. Nice of you to share it with the world like that. Liz the Squeak - I believe you are on to something. The general rank and file of Mudcat (those who have average, run-of-the-mill arses) are do doubt consumed with envy over all this attention being heaped on we few who have been gifted with extraordinary arses, and are in a proper snit about it. That's why the oversensitive sods are boycotting this thread, in my opinion. Tough! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: GUEST,Fool With a Plan Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:22 PM In case any of you have forgotten... I have a superb arse. A matchless arse. An arse beyond compare. And it is still the envy of Fleet Street. - FWaP |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: flattop Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:24 PM I knew it Little Hawk. You wanted me to immortalize your arse. Well I'm not going to fall for it. You met Mike. He came to Rick's drum/flute performance at the Orillia Folk Society when Chagall opened. Mike wore the big hat.
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:34 PM Ahhh...is Mike the large man, in maybe his fifties, greying hair and glasses, sells little booklets of poetry? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: flattop Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:37 PM Yes, I think so, either that or you ran into another one of those poetry salesman. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 02:39 PM Yeah, that's the guy, for sure. So, how is life in the fast lane? - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: flattop Date: 14 Jul 01 - 03:02 PM I feel like I've been run over a few times - like a dried, crow-pecked, squirrel carcass on Highway 11, like a skunk who tried to out smart an Buick, like a deer who came through the windshield, like a frog smeared in a warm summer's rain. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 03:06 PM Hmmmm...that's sort of how I feel too. 2001 has been a tough year so far. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 04:44 PM Oh, and GUEST, you (deleted)(expunged), kiss my (expression liquidated)! You (eliminated), (omitted), (characterization removed) piece of (deleted)!!! - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 05:03 PM I>"Oh, and GUEST, you (flabious)(geezer), kiss my (snarfy, wheezing pussycat)! You (colpumbrious), (preending), (entirely uninteresting) piece of (hamster poetry)!!!" (I have a special keyboard shorcut for those kinds of translations.) |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 05:05 PM Oops. Looks like I botched the italics. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 09:04 PM That's okay, we got the general idea... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 09:19 PM LH- It's a good job somebody got it because I sure as hell don't know what it means. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 14 Jul 01 - 10:01 PM "colpumbrious" - exuding an air of counterfeit, altogether false distinction and self-importance, pompous, arrogant, vain. "preending" - preening, vain. "flabious" - flabby, out of shape, resembling a deflated codpiece. "snarfy" - disreputable, scruffy, tatty. "hamster poetry" - a variety of rodent literature, usually free verse, but sometimes employs rhyming. - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 10:06 PM Thanks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: hesperis Date: 14 Jul 01 - 11:54 PM Hamster poetry is NOT something to be used as an invective!!!! *sigh* |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 14 Jul 01 - 11:57 PM Yeah... that's pretty low, eh? |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: mousethief Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:03 AM Why did I just know this thread was started by an anonymous guest? No mystery in life anymore. Sheesh. Alex |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: hesperis Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:09 AM I think he must have meant "rat poetry"!!! |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:11 AM Yeah, I think you're right. Those translators can be a bit quirky. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:40 AM Hey, Fool with a plan, how about putting oyr money where your arse is....? Still can't find the wide angle lens, so can't post mine yet..... LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull Date: 15 Jul 01 - 12:54 AM I think if new people come here now, and see all this fat arse, skinny arse and erection rubbish they will think we are all stupid and maybe they will get put off coming back |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: mousethief Date: 15 Jul 01 - 01:08 AM And well they should until this dies down. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 15 Jul 01 - 01:26 AM I agree that the nastiness that's going on now may well be turning people off to the Mudcat. But I would like to point out that this thread has been turned around and it now is mostly a harmless thread with a little bit of fun in it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: GUEST,Fool With a Plan Date: 15 Jul 01 - 11:21 AM My dear Liz (the Squeak)... Ah, Madame, you know not what you ask! Were I to publish, for public viewing on the Internet, a candid shot of my magnificent posterior, it would send shock waves through the Western world that can hardly be imagined, let alone estimated. Although I admit to a certain temptation to flaunt my assets in such a manner, I am known for both my cool head and my piercing judgement, and they tell me to forbear. There are some things that the world is simply not ready for. No, I think it is better that I merely continue to stride down the streets of London and environs, clad in my tailored business wear, and promenade now and then at the seaside in somewhat more revealing swimwear, attracting admiring and envious looks from passersby who can only surmise at the wonders that must lie beneath a thin expanse of fabric. The world thrives on mystery, and I know my duty to the world...and to my spouse. And so, Madame, I must resist the temptation to respond to your challenge. My condolences to all of you... - FWaP
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Liz the Squeak Date: 15 Jul 01 - 05:27 PM Er.... FWaP, which London streets do you stride down in your business suit? I am frequently found ambling down the Euston Road, or Tottenham Court Road, or Regent's Park..... Manitas (whose arse is neither scrawny nor fat, but was his best feature once) has been known to stroll the streets of Aldgate once in a while..... And I found a road called Hotley Bottom Lane.... in Bucks.. LTS |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: GUEST Date: 16 Jul 01 - 11:05 AM Dear Ms. CarolC, While I have long been an admirer of many of your characteristics, mental and physical, I must say that what struck me most profoundly about the photo to which you linked, was the pleasing ambiance of the kitchen itself, although I must profess I have no earthly idea what ratatouille is. No offense to your arse, of course. Warm regards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 16 Jul 01 - 11:32 AM Yeah... it was a great kitchen. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: GUEST Date: 16 Jul 01 - 02:17 PM On second glance, there didn't seem to be any unusual inanimate objects to differentiate it from any other modern kitchen, anywhere in the world, so...perhaps it was its occupants that made it distinguishable. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Little Hawk Date: 16 Jul 01 - 04:00 PM The mere fact that flattop was not sporting the usual beanie cap is in itself quite notable... - LH |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 16 Jul 01 - 05:02 PM LH... it was in the shop getting the propeller fixed. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Kim C Date: 16 Jul 01 - 05:23 PM Yeah, well, I have a fiddle bum. |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: CarolC Date: 16 Jul 01 - 09:58 PM Wow, GUEST, I just now saw your last post. That was really sweet. Thanks! |
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Subject: RE: BS: (name removed) has a scrawny arse From: Jon Freeman Date: 16 Jul 01 - 10:12 PM I know people are having fun here but just a thought: Is it really wise to keep refreshing a thread that opens with Jeff's message of censorship at the top or even to keep refreshing a reminder of a trouble maker (even though it appears this may have been a parody)? Maybe it's just me but I can't help wishing these "name removed" threads would just dissapear off the list. Jon |