Really Really Important Poem

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:56 PM

And I thought he was fixing the line return thing so we wouldn't need < B R > any longer....

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:33 PM

(traditionally spelled with 'oi', Liz...*grin*...'boid', etc..)...but nice...

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:20 PM

Der spring is sprung, der grass is riz, I wonder where dem boydies is? The little boyds is on der wing, But dat's absoyd, der wings Is on der boyd.

(OK, so I can't do Location Specific American Accents.... just pretend you're from Queens....)

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Bill D
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 05:12 PM

I wish I loved the human race.
I wish I loved it's silly face.
I wish I loved the way it walks,
I wish I loved the way it talks-
And when I'm introduced to one,
I wish I thought, "What jolly fun".

A man fell into a septic tank;
Oh, that tank, it really stank.
He couldn't swim inside that tank,
But he went through the movements before he sank.

A Glossina morsitans bit rich Aunt Betsy..
Tsk, tsk..Tse-Tse.

...Infant Innocence
The grizzly bear is fierce and wild;
It hath devoured the infant child.
The infant child is unaware,
It has been eaten by the bear.

Short poem and sea story
Sail,
Gale,
Pale,
Rail.

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:59 PM

Guest, why would he spell it like that? As far as I can tell, he was pretty well-educated.

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Uncle_DaveO
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:55 PM

I remember these from my misspent youth:

The gum-chewing girl and the cud-chewing cow
Seem somewhat alike, but different, somehow.
Ah, yes! There it is! I see it all now!
It's the intelligent look on the face of the cow!

OR

Moses supposes his toeses are roses
But Moses supposes erroneously.
For Moses, he knowses his toeses aren't roses,
As Moses supposes his toeses to be!

OR

The breezes, the breezes,
They blow through the treeses.
They blow the girls' skirtses
Above the girls' kneeses.
The college man seeses
And does what he pleases
And spreads the diseases
Oh Jeezes! Oh Jeezes!

Dave Oesterreich

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:47 PM

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker...

Good old Ogden. Poem for everything.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Peter T.
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:45 PM

My favourite, a perfect Nash poem:

Shake and shake the ketchup bottle,
None'll come, and then a lot'l.

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Noreen
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:23 PM

A baby sardine saw his first submarine,
He cried as he watched through a peephole.
"Oh come, come, come!"
Said the sardine's mum,
"It's only a tin full of people."

Spike Milligna,
the well-known typing error

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: katlaughing
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:22 PM

My dad, who is 84, recently told me this one. He'd seen it, as a boy of about 7 or 8, on the last covered wagon to pass through the town he grew up in, in Colorado:

"California - Starvation
Utah - Mormon Nation
Colorado - Irrigation
It beats hell and damnation
But, I'm going back to my wife's relations!"

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Jacob B
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:11 PM

Stopping By Woods While It's Snowing, Even

Whose woods these are I know, I think
His house is in the village though
He will not see to raise a stink
If I stop here to watch the snow

My horse must think my mind is gone
To stop without a farmhouse near
In another hour it will be dawn
He thinks we should get out of here

He gives his harness bells a ring
To ask if there is some mistake
And in my face I feel the sting
Of hard wind driving frozen flake

And so I snap the reins on down
For I have promises to keep
I have to take this horse to town
And trade the nag in for a Jeep.

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST,Karen
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:06 PM

Supposedly the shortest poem:


FLEAS

Adam had 'em.

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST,Willa
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:04 PM

Oh dear! Penultimate line should be 'How the Hell can he drink when he's dead?'

fixed it
joeclone

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST,Willa
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 04:02 PM

Early to bed and early to rise
Is the way to feel stupid and have red eyes. Shirley Hughes

Remarkable
Truly is art
See-elliptical wheels on a cart!
It looks very fair
In the picture, up there, But imagine the
Ride when you start. Gelett Burgess

Oh cuckoo! shall I call thee bird,
Or but a wandering voice?
State the alternative preferred,
With reasons for your choice. F. H. Townsend

The Wife's Epitaph
To follow you I'm not content.
How do I know which way you went? Anon

Inscribed On a Pint Pot
There are several reasons for drinking,
And one has just entered my head;
If a man cannot drink when he's living,
How the Hell can he drink when he's dead?
(Last one suitable for Micca's mug?)

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: Kim C
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:44 PM

Someone posted this on the Cat a long time ago - I'm sorry I don't remember who - and I have enjoyed it ever since:

An accident happened to my brother Jim
When somebody threw a tomato at him
Tomatoes are juicy and don't hurt the skin
But this one was specially packed in a tin

Also here's one Mister says now and then; I think he said an old friend of his made it up, or claimed to:

A bear sleeps in a bearskin, I suppose
I slept in my bare skin and damn near froze

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST,Willa
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:41 PM

Early to bed and early to rise
Is the way to feel stupid and have red eyes

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:33 PM

String Is a very important thing. Rope is thicker but string is quicker Spike Milligan

Subject: RE: BS: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: GUEST
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:27 PM

Ogden would surely have spelt 'parlor' with a 'u' No?

Subject: REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT POEM
From: LR Mole
Date: 06 Aug 01 - 03:16 PM

No, it isn't.Too hot to be anything but silly. This from Ogden Nash:
A primal termite knocked on wood
And tasted it, and found it good.
And that is why your Cousin May
Fell through the parlor floor today.
(Anyone else know some good, tiny, amusing poems?)