Lyr Req: I Love Toast

Subject: I Love Toast
From: Blackcatter
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:01 PM

Greetings all

Heard a performer at Disney World (go figure) sing a song call (I believe) "I Love Toast"

I didn't have a chance to ask him about it, it didn't appear that he wrote it and I can't find it on the internet.

Anyone know the song - it's pretty rythmic, fast and each verse details various reasons to love toast (you know, bread from a toaster).

Thanks in advance

pax

Blackcatter

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:12 PM

If it's the Heywood Banks song "Toast" I can get you the lyrics by tomorrow. Some of his song titles and his homepage below.

1. If Pigs Had Wings 2. Eighteen Wheels On A Big Rig 3. Toast 4. The Ballad Of Ivan Cilburn 5. The Horrible Chemical Song 6. Fly's Eyes 7. Smoke Gets In Your Eyes, Too 8. I Thaw Her Standing There (The Harrooning Song) 9. A Song For Warren 10. The Piglet & The Porcupine 11. Don't Wipe It On Me, Marie 12. I Think You Know What I'm Thinking (If You Know WHat I Mean) 13. Toast (Live) 14. If Pigs Had Wings (Live) 15. Eighteen Wheels On A Big Rig (Live) 16. Frosty The Bluesman 17. You Ain't Getting Diddly Squat 18. The Indy Song (Indeed)

Heywood Banks homepage

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:27 PM

Blackcatter:
The Heywood one has a bit that goes like:

Get up in the mornin' 'bout six a.m.
Have a little jelly, have a little jam
Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot
Push down the lever and the wires get hot
You get toast, yeah, toast

That the one?

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:42 PM

You can find an audio version by scrolling down to 'Toast' Here
~J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 10:58 PM

Thanks JenEllen!

Imagine. I have 600-700 cds, nicely filed in random order. The only one I couldn't find was my Heywood with "Toast" on it. Plus I couldn't remember the song even though my partner and I used to do it--I just drew a blank...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: catspaw49
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:04 PM

So how many Heywood fans we got here? He hits town every now and then and the guy really cracks me up!!!!! Karen and I both get a big charge out of him........Older than a Lot of Famous Dead Guys is completely Heywood!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:10 PM

Yeah, unfortunately I'll have toast on the brain all night now...*g*
18 wheels and the I hate soup song are real faves around here. An' now...roman numerals...I..II..III...
~J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:10 PM

the wife and I saw him in concert a few years back and laughed for 2 straight hours.

Oh......
The cat got dead so we put 'im in a box
And we dug a little hole and we covered it with rocks
And we picked a couple dandelions and we said a little prayer
And we all went off to bed...
...'cause we mostly didn't care.

But in the middle of the night a dog began a-sniffin...

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: JenEllen
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:12 PM

SHAME ON YOU!!! That's even worse...

In a splat the cat was corned beef hash with a tail....yuck...

LHAO ~J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:12 PM

My big sister, she don't care for my fishin' worms
Big ones, little ones, they scare her to DEATH!
She makes a chocolate shake, I stick a couple in the blender
Now she's screamin' at me with "baited breath"!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:15 PM

If I had a bulldozer
The IRS would never chide
Y'know an audit would sure go quickly

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Blackcatter
Date: 21 Oct 01 - 11:22 PM

Clearly Heywood Banks is a musician I need to know more about!

The performer at Disney World also did the 18 wheels song - I loved the bit about Roman Numerals!

Thanks for the responses. Do you realize how hard it is to search the Internet for a song called "Toast"?

The Mudcat scores again. Now to find those lyrics...

pax yall

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: catspaw49
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 12:18 AM

And let's not forget the great "Takeover the World" song..........Perry Had A Pimple!

Spaw

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: wildlone
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 01:24 PM

The late Ian Dury also did a song about toast.
part of it went
White bread, brown bread,
All kind of wholemeal bread
It comes in funny packaging with writing on the side
But it does not really matter when you slip a slice under
And make toast, just toast.
dave

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Blackcatter
Date: 22 Oct 01 - 08:30 PM

Greetings all,

I've looked on the net - didn't find his lyrics anywhere. Anyone know where they are? At the least could somone put the complete lyrics to Toast here?

I downloaded the wave file above but it only has 3 verses - and they're partly garbled.

Thanks!

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Blackcatter
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 08:52 PM

refresh

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:28 PM

I think my friend still has them. I'll email him and see.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:31 PM

Oh jeez, lemme see if I can dig that tape out. They run wild through my head, but getting them to line up like they're supposed to? ha! I'll need help!
~J

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:44 PM

Check out this page, and see if these lyrics are correct. It says "Bob and Tom," so I assume it's the radio show. There may be some words added. (French toast, etc.)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: John Hardly
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 10:55 PM

Mary,
You are the google master. I humbly bow to your prowess! Them's the wordz as I remember it, though crepes Suzette and a few of the French and faux french words he adds for humor aren't there. Maybe Jen remembers them.

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Mary in Kentucky
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 11:11 PM

John, it's really not that hard. I use Google which I heard about first here at Mudcat. The trick is to use a specific phrase in the lyrics, and put it in quotes. I could not have found it if I didn't have JenEllens's post. ("Take a piece of bread, put it in the slot")

This is how I found you, guitarman. ;-)

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: I Love Toast
From: Blackcatter
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 11:44 PM

Thanks Mary.

If anyone can flesho ut the lyrics that'd be great (I think I can get the french part - didn't seem too hard to understand on the WAV file.

How about 18 wheels? Anyone have a WAV file?

thanks again pax

Subject: Lyr Add: SMALLEST THING KNOWN TO MAN
From: JenEllen
Date: 23 Oct 01 - 11:49 PM

Wonderful Mary and John! Flowers at your feet! Another one I found in the archeological dig through crap tapes:

Smallest Thing Known to Man:

Oh, the smallest thing that's known to man's
a sub-atomic particle
measured scientifically under lab conditions
to be ten centimeters taken to the minus thirteenth power

Although this thing is very small
it's really not that small at all
Compared to the line that is ever so fine
That seperates the hot from the cold on the handle of my shower!

And even any minute you adjust it
just exactly how you like it
There are still one hundred seven different
combinations, different permutations
Things which can and maybe will go wrong.
Like when I'm in the shower with the woman that I love,
And just at the moment of extreme exitation
Some guy in the apartment below turns the dishwasher on.

Well, the water comes out cold,
My woman goes 'eek'
Slips on the soap, nearly breaks her neck
As it was she only suffered from some minor scrapes and bruises
But just as she was falling she made a desperate grab
For the nearest thing around her so that no fatal harm would occur.

Which was fortunate for her, but unfortunate for me
Cause the thing she made a grab for
Happened to be something near and dear to both of us
though to be fair she wasn't thinking how extremely dear it was to me
As how conveniently near it was to her.

But it's an interesting biologic, metabolic, fundamental,
scientific, not to say a physiological fact
That when subjected to the stimulus of sub-zero H2O
The male private areas have a tendency to rapidly contract.

And this is what they did, and that is why she missed
And she made a grab behind
And what it was she finally caught
Was the handle of the shower which she twisted as she fell
Past the smallest thing that's known to man
and suddenly the water came out....hot

aaaaaah, I went 'eek' and I faded unconscious
an my woman got me outta there and two weeks later
My poor private areas finally got the courage to emerge
though even now they haven't yet regained their normal size and weight and span

In fact for a while there they had successfully broken
all previous exhisiting world records for
the smallest things that were known to man