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BS: Cracker Jokes!
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Subject: Cracker Jokes! From: Hawker Date: 27 Dec 01 - 06:51 AM Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'
Whats rubbish did you find in your cracker this year? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 27 Dec 01 - 06:58 AM So you know how to tell a good mother in south Georgia? Her kids all have the seat of their pants cut out to keep the flies off their face.
.....say what?..........Wrong kind of cracker huh?............oh...................well.......... never mind thenSpaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Skipper Jack Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:22 PM Diner: "Waiter, this food isn't fit for a pig to eat!" Waiter: "Right sir, I will bring you some that is!"
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Alonia Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:25 PM Why are Elephants big and grey and wrinkly?
cos if they were small and white and smooth they'd be aspirins |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Jack the Sailor Date: 27 Dec 01 - 01:30 PM I'm seeing some commonality between, cracker jokes and "Bazooka Joe" comics. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Paul G. Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:31 PM So down here in Palatka Florida when we put together our live Christmas manger scene, we dress our three Wise Men like fire fighters. Why, you ask? Because in the Bible, it says they came from a far..... |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: ddw Date: 27 Dec 01 - 09:50 PM Well, for the first time since I hooked up with a Brit 17 years ago, I actually saw something funny in a cracker. My daughter and her boyfriend (6'3", 225 lbs, of solid-muscle, bald-as-a-cueball great guy) were with us and his cracker contained a tiny yellow purse. Maybe you had to be there..... david |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 10:17 PM I am lost and confused! Would someone please explain this to me? It is all too wonderful for me! khandu PS Hey Swap!! You going soft! You said "Georgia" and not "Mississippi"! MAHIN khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: ddw Date: 27 Dec 01 - 10:52 PM Khandu.... It's a Brit thing. At Christmas dinner they put a "cracker" at each place. They're tubes of colorful paper, twisted about an inch or so from each end. The object is to grasp one end, have someone else grasp the other, and pull. When the tube comes apart, a cap-like bang happens. Then you have to dig some little thing (a toy comparable to the ones we used to get in CrackerJacks), a paper crown and sometimes a little slip of paper with some unbelievably dumb joke on it. You groan at the joke, bargain over who will keep which toy and wear the crown (always WAY too large) until it falls over your eyes once too often or drops in your plate. Then you take it off and enjoy the rest of the meal.... cheers, david |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Bert Date: 27 Dec 01 - 10:53 PM Explain a cracker. Well! I'll try. It's made of crepe paper, it's tubular about 1 1/2 inches diameter about 8 inches long (Down Spaw). It has constrictions about an inch and a half in from each end and is decorated with a shiny decal. Every one at a Christmas party gets one and they share it with their neighbor at the table. Each one grabs an end and they pull. The cracker then explodes (mildly) and reveals it's contents. A party hat which you HAVE to wear, a lucky charm (which may, or may not be a yellow handbag) and a motto or joke (kinda like a fortune cookie) Christmas in England couldn't exist without Christmas Crackers. When my sister was small she collected the charms and made a charm bracelet from them. The charms were mostly plastic but the bracelet (after a few years of collecting) was unique. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:01 PM Bert and ddw, Thank you both, now I feel a bit less ignorant! It reminds me of our Mississippi Christmas tradition of "Pass the Possum"!...But that is another thread! MAHIN khandu |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Paul G. Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:02 PM Hell, I thought we were talking about Florida Crackers -- pull a tube of paper apart and a redneck falls out on yer table. Ah, if they would only learn to speak english over there! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: khandu Date: 27 Dec 01 - 11:05 PM Actually, I thought this was a thread about racial slurs/jokes. I feel better now! khanduhh |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Rolfyboy6 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:11 AM Well Khandu, if its slurs about crackers you want-- Billy-Bob was walking into town one day wearing nothing but his gun and his boots. Just as he began walking down Main Street he was confronted by the Sheriff. "Hey, Billy-Bob, ya mind if I ask you what you are doin' walkin' down Main Street wearin' nothin' but your gunbelt and boots?" "Well Sheriff, it's a long story." "I ain't going nowhere", said the Sheriff. "Well Sheriff, a couple hours ago I ran into Mary Lou in the saloon. We had ourselves a couple of drinks and then we started to feelin' kinda frisky and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out to the barn?' So we did. Then we started getting real close and cuddin' and smoochin' and Mary Lou said, 'Why don't we go out back and go up to the top of the hill.' So we did." He continued, "We started cuddlin' and smoochin' some more and the next thing I know, Mary Lou had taken off all her clothes and she suggested that I do the same. So I did, all except my gunbelt and boots. Then Mary Lou laid down on the ground and said 'Okay,Billy-Bob, go to town'. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Hawker Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:30 AM EEK! What have I started! This universal language of ours is a most weird thing. Obviously some of you have no idea what a Christmas cracker is, and I, no idea what a 'cracker' is! No offense was meant to anybody! Cheers, Lucy |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:39 AM No wonder some folks left England and came over here! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:04 AM Sorry Lucy...Again we are separated by a common language! But, you can find both definitions HERE I said Georgia in my joke because "Cracker" as you see generally has referred to poor rural whites in Georgia and Florida, although it too has been used for poor southern rural whites in general. Anyone got any idea as to the origin of the term, especially as it was originally applied as to only Georgia and Florida? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:13 AM The story I get is as follows; The early settlers of Florida were of course farmers and ranchers. They got their products to amrket using heavy freight wagons drawn by oxen and mules. In order to traverse the rough terrain much use was made of whips to spur the teams on. It was the crack of the whips that gave the drivers from North Florida and Southern Gorgia the name of 'Crackers'. The name stuck and was subsequently used for any native of the region. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:24 AM amrket=market....wadda ya wan't for 7:13 in the mornin'? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: kendall Date: 28 Dec 01 - 08:59 AM A Georgia redneck was stopped for speeding in Maine. The cop said, "Do you have any ID"? Redneck says "'Bout what"? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: wysiwyg Date: 28 Dec 01 - 09:03 AM To many US blacks, "cracker" also means white racist, and not the passive sort that mumbles nasty things privately-- rather, one who rides around in a pickup truck looking for little black girls to rape or big black men to hurt or kill, which still happens. One connotation is the cracking of the overseer's whip. Thus, all sorts of harms are assumed to be expected from a "cracker," including economic, social, political, and physical. The term in use in that context is dismissive and defiant.... if the white person is thinking (or saying) "you nigger,", the black person may be thinking (or saying) with equal fear and enmity, "you cracker!" It isn't only US/UK that are divided by a common language.... when a white person calls a white person a "cracker," it's classism. But when a black person calls a white person a "cracker," it's got all the fear and force of racism loaded into it. ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 09:32 AM If one wants to think that way, fine. To most folk I know here in Florida that are true 'Crackers', it simply means a link to history and simpler times of their past. Leave it to someone to put a racial or hate conotation to it!! There are black 'Crackers' also, who are equally proud of their nickname and their ancestors contribution to forming our early country. Many blacks were freemen who hired out as drovers. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: wysiwyg Date: 28 Dec 01 - 10:31 AM If one wants to think that way, fine. I don't think anyone "wants" to think that way, but some folks do, you know? ~Susan
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 10:48 AM Banj and Wyyzy.....I think you are probably both right. I'm sure that may well be the case re: black Floridians and it's also quite true that "cracker" is used along the lines of "honkie." Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST, Cookieless Member Date: 28 Dec 01 - 10:55 AM A shame to spoil a fun thread like this by arguing about such a distateful subject... *wonders how the mention of UK 'crackers' starts this, when mention of buying a pack of US 'crackers' from the store doesnt* |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Jack the Sailor Date: 28 Dec 01 - 11:00 AM Sorry to bring this up again. I'd like to say that when I first saw the title of the thread, I was expecting reverse racism. I'm living in Georgia, south of Atlanta but still a couple of hours from Florida. I've often heard the word used in Susan's way, especially by blacks in movies. It is a powerful word used that way. This is the first time I've heard of a "good" cracker. Except of course saltines and the Christmas Crackers my cousins used to have back in Newfoundland. I remembered crepe paper hats, no yellow purses though. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: wysiwyg Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM I think there is something very important that (almost without exception) gets lost when racism and the South are discussed. It is that until deliberate efforts were made by white mill owners and other economic interests-- to divide white and black friends-- there was a rich vein of friendship and common cause running through the communities. White and black po' folks and working poor were in the same boat, and usually rowed well together... but specific acts were done and publicized, systematically, to incite racial hatred and fear. Thus, what would have been a voting majority was split along racial lines, with allies set against one another person by person. When I say "vote" BTW, I mean all the ways we vote-- with our ballots, our mouths, our feet, our hardworking hands, and our hearts. What gets missed are stories like Banjer started on above, about white and black drovers-- we get caught up in the bad feelings and we never quite get to the full celebration of the friendships and powerfully good relationships that were quietly running through the more visible messes of racism. When we give in to those so-tempting feelings, and get defensive with one another, we perpetuate the effect of these carefully-strategized OLD divisions.... we go right back to the time when hurt was used to divide, and we participate in it. Of course we don't MEAN to.... So Banjer? Howsabout you tell us more about the drovers, and about the heritage of crackers as you understand it? ~Susan |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:03 PM I think the original usage had only slightly derogatory meaning Jack. Much like I might be a hick. The word seems to have originated from peanut farmers as crackers, a big crop in that area. Later racial usage was probably bound to happen. There were several sports teams that I can recall using "Crackers'....one was a baseball team in Atlanta. This isn't an argument, just a bit of offtopic interest. As far as the thread title, I figured redneck jokes.....and frankly I don't think a thread saying with a title of "I'm buying crackers" would be thought of in the same way. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,AliUk Outofhospitalandbackonthecat Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:07 PM Jeez and Ithought that this was gonna have some Robbie Coltrane/criminal psychology jokes on it. I used to hate those stupid paper crowns in the crackers. My mum and dad would force me to wear the dumb things when I was a kid and took the piss out of me when I refused to wear them when I was older. BAH! HUMBUG! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: SharonA Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:31 PM A very unfunny cracker joke at Christmas: I went to my brother's and sister-in-law's (in Pennsylvania) for Christmas dinner this year, with other family members. As we sat at the table, passing the food bowls around, my brother (the host) was serving the turkey. He asked his father-in-law (who retired to Florida from PA) which kind of meat he wanted, white or dark. His father-in-law's response was: "White meat. I ain't no [n-word]-lover." Of course, all other conversation ceased, except for that involved with passing food around. The horrible joke was ignored, and eventually the chatter returned to the table. But I'm still shaking my head and grinding my teeth over the joke itself and over the fact that no one responded to it or, indeed, could have responded to it without making the situation worse. This guy is definitely a "cracker" in the racist sense of the word, and nothing that anyone could have said to him about his prejudicial attitude would have made the slightest difference to him. It's one thing to ignore a flamer on the internet and hope he goes away. But what do you do with a real-time flamer sitting next to you at a holiday dinner table? (I had the gravy bowl in hand at the time; I hated having to pass it to him nicely, instead of dumping it over his head.) Sharon |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,AliUkontheworkscomp Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:38 PM I would've dumped the gravy Sharon. Sorry but that's the language these people understand. Plus it would have been extremely satisfying. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: SharonA Date: 28 Dec 01 - 12:56 PM Satisfying to me, yes, definitely. But to my sister-in-law, the cracker's daughter AND the hostess of the party, probably not. Besides wasting good gravy on filth like the "cracker", the dumping would likely have gotten ME banished from the house, not him. And since I had come as a passenger in another brother's car, along with my invalid father, I couldn't have made a quick, graceful exit after the gravy-dumping. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: SharonA Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:01 PM 'Course, I suppose I could have made it look like an accident: "Gee, I'm so sorry, but what you said shocked me so much that I spilled all the gravy out of the bowl. What a shame it dripped off the table into your lap and scalded your balls...." Ah, isn't 20/20 hindsight wonderful? |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,Paul G. Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:01 PM Actually, the Father-In-Law is a racist in the Racist sense. The fact that the man retired to Florida seems to me to be immaterial. Those kinds of attitudes are not developed by a recent relocation, but by long-term exposure to an environment that fosters such nonsense. The most overt, biggoted racist I ever encounterd was my uncle. Born,raised and spent his entire life in eastern Pennsylvania. The circumstance stinks either way, and it's regrettable that you had to sit through it. On the other hand I know some real Florida Cracker Cowmen who are among the most open minded, racially tolerant folks I've ever met. Paul |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: kendall Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:23 PM If that remark was a joke, I dont get it. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,misophist Date: 28 Dec 01 - 01:39 PM Let me complicate things a little. According to Mirriam-Webster, the word goes back to the 15th century and the first meaning they give is a braggart or a boastful person. Considering the kind of image the ordinary people of the old south tried to project, I suspect that might be the origin. BTW, if Texas counts, I are one, myself. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 02:12 PM Interesting......Although it has spread I know, I think the term really applied to Georgia and Northern Florida. Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Jack the Sailor Date: 28 Dec 01 - 02:17 PM With misophist's definition, Foghorn Leghorn, the Warner Brothers Rooster would be a perfect example of a cracker? Since I've moved here, I've had to a few guys not to tell me a second racist joke. Pretty much all of them have been OK about it. I lived in a northern city a few years ago and racial tension and animosity was quite tangible there. (I won't say which city, but they had race riots this year.) I don't really see it here at all but I do see the vestiges of old attitudes.
A guy took a half an hour explaining to me that Ni**ers weren't the hard working educated black people. They're the lazy welfare bums who abandon their children and don't clean their yards. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,Desdemona Date: 28 Dec 01 - 02:24 PM Both kinds: I got a wee little magnifying glass & the big grey elephant riddle. ---AND--- Q: What does a cracker girl say during sex? A: Git off me, Paw, yer crushin' my smokes! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 28 Dec 01 - 03:56 PM There are a lot of terms like cracker which are used in the south, and not applied in a derogatory manner. Coonass is common in Louisiana; a coonass is a dweller of the swamp and bayou areas. He may be Cajun but not necessarily so. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,colwyn dane Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM One definition of cracker is: 'cracker - a piece of hardtack; the name had nothing to do with "Cracker," a derogatory nickname that Georgia plantation owners had for upcountry farmers, whose wheat had to be "cracked" before it could be used.' In 1863 Grant used a route, to supply the USA forces nearly surrounded in Chattanooga, which became known as the 'Cracker Line'. Some more Civil War Slang CD.
http://members.tripod.com/BooneBunny/hubbub.html |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Dicho (Frank Staplin) Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:15 PM Cracker, as now applied, has little relation to 19C usage. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:20 PM We just got our power back!!!! I was going to respond earluer but couldn't. There is not much more to tell, Susan, about the origin of the term. It all depends I suppose in who says it, to whom, and what the circumstances are. I suppose having lived in Florida since the age of six I could be considered a Cracker, but a real one must be a native and like 'Spaw says, mostly from North Florida and Southern Georgia. In and around the Okefenokee Swamp area. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: GUEST,rangersteve Date: 28 Dec 01 - 06:23 PM The original subject was bad jokes inside Christmas Crackers. I'm waiting to hear more bad jokes. Save the serious discussions for another thread and let's get back to the humor. (I've had a rough day at work and can't think of jokes right now, otherwise I'd contribute one). |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: catspaw49 Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:03 PM Well Steve, I'm sorry, but i don't know any English-style Cracker jokes and I feel that telling "Southern/Georgia Cracker" jokes is demeaning and proflagates a negative image such as "all Southerners marry their first cousins" which simply isn't true. I mean they fuck 'em and all, they just don't always marry them, ya' know? Spaw |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:53 PM "all Southerners marry their first cousins" I Think 'Spaw is refering to Southern Ohio folk here. But I'm with 'Spaw, I don't know of any jokes that would be of the tellin' kind where crackers are concerned. I do know of a true story though....This happened quite a few years ago in front of a store here known world wide as Webbs City. We were standing on the sidewalk out in front of the store waiting for the light to change so we could walk across the street. This old fellow known to be a lifetime resident of Florida was about to make a U-Turn. The traffic on the beat told him, 'Hey you can't make that turn here'....Old fellow looks around, surveys the situation, spits a gob of chewin' baccy out the window and replies, 'Reckon I can, I've made it before' as he made his U-Turn. Don't know if the cop ever gave him a ticket or not, but that is one thing I'll always remember and I was about ten years old at the time. |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Banjer Date: 28 Dec 01 - 07:59 PM The traffic on the beat told him should read 'The traffic cop on the beat told him'......Hey you know how us crackers are! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: Kaleea Date: 29 Dec 01 - 12:51 AM After perusing you'alls so called jokes, I do believe the cheese done slid off you'alls crackers! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: JedMarum Date: 29 Dec 01 - 01:27 AM I've heard the term "Thread Creep" but this one's off the charts! It's down right Thread Perversion! How did we take a light hearted discussion on Christmas custom and humor and turn it into a preaching session on racism - racism in America? No wonder Europe thinks we're all idiots! |
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Subject: RE: BS: Cracker Jokes! From: JedMarum Date: 29 Dec 01 - 01:33 AM I don;t suppose this one would have been a cracker joke - but my English friends used to tell me they celebrated Thanksgiving too - only they celebrated it on the Fourth of July, when they got rid of us! |