Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al

Subject: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Big Mick
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 11:29 AM

I have been thinking a lot lately about the massive crime that has been perpetrated on the average Jane/Joe in the US and how it will impact many of these fine folks lifetime of savings. Along comes this email and I laughed and then figgered I would sic you folks on the idea and see if you come up with a song.

If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. With Enron, you would have $16.50 of the original $1,000.00. With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser (the beer, not the stock) one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00 and still had the benefit of a good buzz.

Based on the above, my current investment advice is to forget investing, drink heavily and recycle.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Genie
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 02:22 PM

To paraphrase Woody Guthrie,

"Well, it's through this world I've traveled,
East and west and north and south.
Some folks rob you with a hand gun,
Some with a keyboard and a mouse.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 04:57 PM

I've been a wild rover for many a year,
and I spent all me money on whiskey and beer,
whle me brother invested, with caution and care,
now he's on the scrapheap, and I'm in the clear.
And it's no, no never - I'm saving no more
I'll drink it and spend it and give to the poor.

He went into a bank that he used to frequent,
And he asked that bank teller for a couple of cents.
And she said "Now be off, your account's in the red,
All that money you gave us, it's upped and it's fled."

He went out on the street and came into the pub,
So I bought him a drink, and I gave him a sub.
I said "Money's for spending, and handing it out,
And for buying your brothers a malt or a stout".

And the banks are the temples of sin and despair,
And you're much better off when you're drinking a beer.
We'll go home to our parents, when you've finished your half,
The Mammy's prepared us a fine fatted calf.
And it's no, no never - I'm saving no more
I'll drink it and spend it and give to the poor.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Amos
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 06:43 PM

To the tune of "Pretty Boy Floyd". - per Amos, added by joeclone.

If you gather 'round me children
And if you'll kindly heed
I'll tell to you a story
About management and greed

It was in the 1990's
A heady time no doubt
When business schools decided
To throw their values out

They taught that things were changing
Old methods they did slight
They gave up on morality
On service, care and right

They didn't need production
To make their business grow
The fate of teams would hang, instead,
On which buzzwords they did know

They turned away from service,
Delivery and all that
They swore that information
Would make their coffers fat.

They never stopped to notice
Their style could not succeed
Where once was honest profit
They pushed unfettered greed

...Wal, it's a start anyway.

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Gareth
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 06:52 PM

Well the circle goes round and round and round, try this old favorite CLICK 'ERE

Gareth

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Big John
Date: 22 Jul 02 - 10:41 PM

When first to the stock market a stranger I came// I had just received my pension and a gold watch with my name// I had a golden handshake I wanted to invest// But I had no inside knowledge so I guess I failed the test.// I laid ten grand on Enron and Worldcom they got five// But within a week I found my investments took a dive// My nest egg for the future went in a puff of smoke// So I guess it's time for gigging now I'm back to being broke.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Genie
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:37 AM

Good stuff, guys. Let's hear some more.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 01:47 AM

Per Bev & Jerry, tune is "The Titanic (husbands and wives)"

Through a partnership gigantic Enron grew and grew
And they thought they had a scheme that the public wouldn't see through
But the good Lord's mighty hand knew that firm would never stand
It was sad when that partnership went down

chorus:

Oh, it was sad, oh, it was sad
It was sad when the partnership went down (to the bottom of the...)
Husbands and wives, little children changed their lives
It was sad when that partnership went down

Oh, they bailed from Enron and were almost to the door
When the rich refused to associate with the poor
So they tied up all their dough where they'd be the first to go
It was sad when that partnership went down

Oh, the firm was full of sin and the scheme about to burst
When Ken Lay shouted, "Board of Directors first!"
Some honest ones retired and the rest of them were fired
It was sad when that partnership went down

Oh, they hauled the shredders out at the accounting agency
When Cheney shouted "Nearer, My God, To Me"
Little children wept and cried as the rats jumped o'er the side
It was sad when that partnership went down

Bev and Jerry

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 07:49 AM

Of course there was Chesterton's "song for times of financial crisis and courage":

There's a run upon the Bank -
Stand Away!
For the Manager's a crank and the Secretary drank, and the
Uper Tooting Bank
Turns to bay!
Stand close: there is a run
On the Bank.
Of our ship. our royal one,
let the ringing legend run,
that she fired with every gun
Ere she sank

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: SharonA
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 03:59 PM

DE EN-RON RON
(Tune: "Da Do Ron Ron" by Shaun Cassidy)

I came to work on Monday and my heart stood still
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron
Somebody said they couldn't pay their bill
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron

Yes, my heart stood still
Yes, can't pay their bill
And then they sent me home
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron

A. Andersen was shreddin' 'cause the books don't lie
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron
Lay said, "Stay quiet while the stocks all die"
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron

Yes, the books don't lie
Yes, the stocks did die
And then they sent me home
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron

Well, they gave a mint to Dubya at his campaign time
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron
Now I'm on the unemployment line
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron

Yes, his campaign time
Unemployment line
And then they sent me home
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron
De En-ron ron ron, de En-ron ron
(repeat & fade)

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Genie
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:13 PM

Mahvelous, B & J, Sharon, McGrath!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Genie
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:21 PM

Here's a link to Mousethief's "En-ron-ron" song from last April.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:25 PM

I love this stuff!! More.........more. Do me a favor and notate the tune you are using. Send me a PM and I will ask the clones to notate it to your posts.

Mick

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:45 PM

Well, Mick-me-boy, mine's "Pretty Boy Flloyd", which I figgered would show from the opening couplet.

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 04:49 PM

Yep, Amos, I got that one immediately.

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Bev and Jerry
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 05:37 PM

Mick:

It's The Titanic (husbands and wives) and it's in the DT. The first time we sang it with no word of introduction, everyone recognized it and joined in on the first chorus.

It was published in the current issue of The Folknik, the newsletter of the San Francisco Folk Music Club and it is rumored that it will appear in the Folk Process column in the next issue of Sing Out!

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 05:40 PM

I think my tune might be guessed at a pinch...

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: SharonA
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 05:42 PM

Whoops, I'd forgotten that Alex did a parody of that tune, on the same subject! Well, then, I hope no one did an Enron "take" on the following tune before this...

It's a little ditty in a more serious vein, about J. Clifford Baxter, former Enron vice chairman who committed suicide over the Enron bankruptcy last winter (here's a link to the news story: http://abcnews.go.com/sections/business/DailyNews/enron_suicide020125.html)


THE BAXTER
(Tune: "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel – Music & Lyrics by Paul Simon)

I am just a dead guy, now my story will be told
I have squandered my existence for a bullet in the temple, such are finances.
I lie at rest
Killed my damned fears; you won't hunt me here. I pissed what you'd invest.

When I left my job for my family, I was no more than a toy
In a company with dangers
Like accounting lies and indiscretions unimpaired.
Lay laid low, weeding out the whistle-blowers
While he watched the stock price go
Steeply up for reasons only few would know.
Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay,
Lay-Lay-Lay-Laaay, Laaaaaay

Asking just vice-chairman's wages, I came looking for that job,
Took up Enron's offer,
Just to come up on the Watkins memo in plain view.
I do declare, LJM could hide our losses some.
I took to selling shares.
Lay, Lay, Lay...

Then Ken Lay went out last winter solstice, with his Enron funds growing low
Well, that subcommittee's new subpoena's beating me
Leading me to my doom.
I'm J. Clifford, I'm a Baxter
And I might have made a trade
Out of wearing Enron's blinders
But ev'ry dive that stock made lower
Fu**ed me till I copped out
In my anguish and my pain,
"I am leaving, don't you grieve";
In my Mercedes, my remains lay, lay, lay ...

Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay
Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay, Lay,
Lay-Lay-Lay-Laaay, Laaaaaay

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Amos
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 05:52 PM

Wow!!! Just...wow!!!

A

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Big Mick
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 06:29 PM

Yeah Kevin, after a struggle I figured it out..............hahahahaha

All the best,

Mick

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Lanfranc
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 06:36 PM

Often wonder what Phil Ochs would have made of it all.

A first draft came to me in a nightmare!

Here's a firm of auditors who help to cook the books
To make sure of their bonuses, making sure that no-one looks
Beyond the place where they have signed below the bottom line
And if anybody asks them, they say "Everything is fine"
But I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

An Arizona Baptist stakes his savings on a scheme
Building churches, schools, retirement homes, that helps folks live a dream
Suddenly he finds out that the whole thing was a fraud
And every cent that he had saved has been stolen by the board
But I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Making money out of garbage is a tricky thing to do
So fiddle with the company's books, and to make it all ring true
Bribe the company's auditor to sign off for a fee
Who gives a damn if in the end, they're robbing you and me
But I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

CEOs are focussed on a host of corporate thrills
Like paying themselves fortunes instead of paying company bills
Their apartments and their swimming pool, their sports car and their yacht
Are the symbols of their status, even if they stole the lot
But I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

When Communism crumbled, how the money men rejoiced
At the victory of exploitation sold in the name of choice
If Capitalism falls apart, and all because of greed
Who the hell, then, can we trust for the leadership we need?
But I'm sure it wouldn't interest anybody
Outside of a small circle of friends

Alan

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: Genie
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:00 PM

Sharon, gal, you do have a gift! Absolutely fantastic!

(Don't worry if you and Alex both did En-ron-ron. I 've got a feeling you're not the only two. You both did a great job.)

Genie

PS, you're no slouch, either, LaFranc. It's kind of a pity you all have so much raw material to work with on this one, ain't it?

Subject: RE: Song Challenge: Enron, Worldcom et al
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 23 Jul 02 - 08:19 PM

Actually you could sing Phil Coulter's "Steal away" more or less as it is, and give it a wholly new meaning by dedicating it to these thieves:

Steal away, let's steal away
No reason left to stay
For me and you
Let's start a-new
And darling steal away

Steal away and chase that dream
And hope they never find us
The dreary days
The empty nights
We'll leave them all behind us

We'll leave behind the city streets
The gloom and desolation
The rain the cold
Just growing old
God knows it's a hard old station

We'll leave with just a memory
And make a new beginning
We have to choose
To win or lose
And it's time we started winning