punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Little Hawk
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 05:50 PM

LOL! Oh, God! Please give us just a few quotes, Oakley...

I should think that anyone who dared to vandalize a phone booth OR poison a squirrel in Twillingsgate would be up before the magistrate in short order and assigned some really nasty community work for a lengthy period of rehabilitation and repentance, but...I have to admire your sense of dedication.

There just isn't enough high romance around these days. And the bathwater idea...THAT is really striking!

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Oaklet
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 01:06 PM

Isn't she just the most adorable woman who has ever lived? I would walk a million miles over broken glass backwards just to gargle with your bathwater, Ms Penelope Rutledge. I will only be happy when we are finally together, poisoning squirels and vandalising phone booths together in Twillingsgate. I have written several very long poems about eternal love, on the strength of what I am now feeling, Ms Penelope Rutledge.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 10:42 AM

25 years......... well done sir and madame

Have fun and make sure Dennis enjoys hisell aswell.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Ossonflags
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 09:58 AM

many thanks specky, coooooooooooooooooooel time definatley on the cards

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: specky
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 09:36 AM

u tell em ossonflags x happy anniversary have a cooooooooool time ...where ever it is :-)

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 09:09 AM

Dear concerned (raggytash) of Huddersfield,

the name of Mcgarry and double standards should never ever be used in the same sentence. As I have explained for the thousandeth time Mrs.Ossonflags is taking me away,along with Dennis and The Robe for four days of licentious debauchery (destination still unknown)We shall all return refreshed, if slightly frazzeled in time to meet my (sorry our)adoring public on thursday night at the Foresters in Beverley.

Any way, it is not a third but a quarter of the Equine Pugilists that is missing.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: specky
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:35 AM

:-)

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Concerned of Huddersfield
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:26 AM

My dearest Penelope, you sound like a lady of merit, do not waste time on the likes of this oik, he is clearly of a standing far lower than a good lady like yourself deserves. I am to visit the fair town of Beverley on Sunday, permit me to accompany you for a stroll, shall we visit the Minster and then take tea before availing ourselves of the coarse pleasures provided by this bunch of ruffians

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Ms Penelope Rutledge
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 08:19 AM

Well, dual standards are the the watchword of the morally unregenerate and depraved, aren't they?

Oakley, you must cease your fruitless amorous suggestions. I caution you to desist in what can only prove to be an unrewarding and hazardous course of action. Accept that we move in different worlds and save yourself needless heartache.

Ms Penelope Rutledge

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Concerned of Huddersfield
Date: 04 Sep 02 - 05:12 AM

Has someone taken their dressing gown home and refused to perform. The first chance I get the see P t H in action and one third debunks. Fine way of treating your adoring audience. One the one hand he berates the licencee for giving offence and not appreciating his art and with the other slaps the adulating public firmly round the chops. Do I detect dual standards ........................

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Bassic
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 12:50 PM

Noreen! Great to meet you too! Sorry that polite conversation was rather difficult in Dirty Nellies Sauna and Horse Thumping emporium on friday. I too had a somewhat alcoholicly distracting time on Saturday so didnt get to return to the Old Town festivities. Sunday and Monday were spent engaged in covert work sorting out a small colonial skirmish (see "B.S. The Story L`il Hawk Wants Suppressed") with Smallpiper. If you havn`t seen it yet then I think it will make interesting reading!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,ossenflags
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 11:32 AM

RAGGYTASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you old soup strainer how are you diddling?

Oakers be very ,very, very carefull that robe means the the world to me ,on a par with MRs.Ossonflags

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 10:46 AM

Room for a purple helmet, Billy Smart used to operate out of this one, Ossencart this should reveal me

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 10:22 AM

Another piscine city superlative: Hull is now famous for having the biggest dressing gown in the world. Is there room for concealing a purple helmet or two inside it?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,ossonflags
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 10:17 AM

guest,im intregued, were did you sing with me in a dressing gown,please identify

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 09:59 AM

I've sung with Mick, I've seen him in a dressing gown first thing in the morning, that can make a man if you, nothing can scare me now. You, even naked has got to be an improvement.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 08:54 AM

Cheeky barsteward, Oaklet!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 08:41 AM

Guest,guest, Nellies session is this Sunday stating at about 2 pm. Billingsgate is important to Hull9 as we do better fis DeppO9 museums than those London - types. They can't seem to do it without suffering a huge mortality rate. It only cropped up 'cause I was directed there by a git who didn't understand my regional accent, during my search for Twillingsgate and my one true (if a little stern) love.

See you at Nellies on Sunday for my session which is co-hosted by DeanMeister. Please say hello, unless you find me a bit sinister and scary. And naked.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 08:36 AM

Hey, Noreen. Was lovely to meet you at last on Friday. Glad you enjoyed the evening as much as I did. Sorry did not make it down to the Minerva on Sunday as promised. Got waaaaaay too drunk on saturday. Needed to rest up!

Guest, there is indeed a Session at The White Horse (Nellies) this coming sunday. It was postponed a week owing to the Shanty Festival. Hope to see you there. 2pm till whenever, but usually about sixish. Come early if you want a seat!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 08:13 AM

Hi Sireen. Better wait until Rentokill have finished dousing it with chemicals. Apparently, the depp0 is currently overrun with fIS9. It seems that jOhn is having Earth - Summit difficulties coming to an agreement with the billing(sgate) department at Kingston Interactive Television. I'll be the one looking for the white smoke from the telecom offices. Was it me, or did he demonstrate an ability to start a fight in a empty room on Friday?

Ms Penelope Rutledge is poised, her face shiny with black camoflage paint, from her vantage point on the grassy knoll in Twillingsgate. Just waiting for him to post.

I am really glad you enjoyed the equine pugilism.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Guest
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 08:03 AM

Whats all this reference to Billingsgate then, someone fill me in, dig the dirt, give the low down. PS Is this Sunday the first one of the month in Beverley, I know you have strange ways in the wilds of the East Riding, you may not have changed to the Gregorian Calendar yet. Is there to be a "do" at Nellies on Sunday and if so pray what hour of the day

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Noreen
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 07:33 AM

At long last I have visited this Mudcat Mecca and although I didn't meet Durty Nelly herself, I found that, contrary to all expectations, her guests the equine pugilists do in fact exist in the flesh rather than in the twisted virtual ramblings of Gavin the Skipjack (who wisely absented himself from the proceedings).

The only disappointment in meeting Oaklet was that his thighs were not exposed, despite the tropical heat of the bar and the condensation (I think that's what it was) running down the walls. Powerful playing and singing, lads! Great to meet you all, and Billy the Bass's brother too (not much family resemblance...)

Seems that jOhn's connectivity problems have been extended, or I'm sure he would list here all the catters there that night, as only He is able.

Must visit again for the purple helmets' display, and to see the DeppO from the inside- certainly looks impressive from the outside.

Sireen

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 05:04 AM

Am I eternally damned to read references to Billingsgate at every turn? It was an easy if unfortunate mistake, driven by testosterone and yearning for my true love. Please have a heart and desist.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: ossonflags
Date: 03 Sep 02 - 04:07 AM

I have heard Messr's Makehaste and Sloggitt from Billingsgate are excellant craftsmen.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Oaklet
Date: 02 Sep 02 - 12:58 PM

Well it certainly wasn't Ms Penelope Rutledge being escorted to horn-rimmed heaven by a small hairy farmer. The fire brigade is very prompt and supportive in North Lincs. Does anyone know a good builder?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 02 Sep 02 - 12:19 PM

Was that a bang I just heard from over the river?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Oaklet
Date: 02 Sep 02 - 10:34 AM

Gav,

If I had been awake during the incident, I would have strangled him with his evel - smelling leather thong. Wankers indeed! He does play extremely well on the Potato Orchestra's seminal album "Asleep Behind the Settee" (£12 plus £1p+p) so I'll forgive him. Mrs. O has looked for the explosives, but I have hidden them in the flue immediately above the central heating boiler. They are safe there.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Skipjack K8
Date: 02 Sep 02 - 06:24 AM

Has Mrs O confiscated our pyros, Oakers? Haven't slept a wink since that bloke from Kiss called us wankers. Are we?

Gavin

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: ossonflags
Date: 02 Sep 02 - 05:16 AM

i promise never to mention billingsgate again.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: ossonflags
Date: 01 Sep 02 - 03:14 AM

welcome back john!!!!!!!!!

I believe you have sorted out your little difficulty with bt?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Oaklet
Date: 01 Sep 02 - 02:32 AM

I have just entered "Billingsgate" into the search engine. It is sadly familiar from my visit on friday. Please keep this fact quiet and never mention it again. I feel a bit foolish, but undeterred.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: ossonflags
Date: 01 Sep 02 - 02:23 AM

Dear old oakiepoos, This morbid fasination with ms.routledge has finally turned your reasoning.I may be able to shed a little light on your confusion with east londons equivelant of the deepo,and the slight techiness of the curators of said twillingsgate.Could it perhaps be Billingsgate you visited in your quest for the elusive tweed skirt lifter,harumph!!!, I mean wearer?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 31 Aug 02 - 05:06 AM

sssssshhhhhhhhhhhh he dosn't actually know but we keep sending him off in all kinds of different directions to find it! Well it keeps him busy, bless him, he's such a lost lil'soul (awwww).

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 11:04 PM

So, Oakley, where exactly is Twillingsgate? It must be a very quaint place, I would think.

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 08:32 PM

Nothing sartorially untoward; except the Compleat Ossonflags resplendent in a keep net and waders. Met the charming Sireenand solved the riddle of the absence of jOhn. Something to do with cashflow and a difference of opinion with Kingston Interactive Telecom. The boy was exhibiting challenging behaviour having has ample bear9. Monday sees his return to the fold, so Ms Penelope Rutledge will probably have to vent her spleen on Tuesday.

My trip to Twillingsgate was a puzzle. Another argument and I found myself in East London at the southern equivalent to the Depp9. Except the exhibits were slightly more processed. The guides were reassuringly more visible, and dressed in white coats and wellies. But they had little time to explain the exhibits and often became rude. Particularly one who (as an affectation) insisted on pushing a wheeled contraption full of dead fis9. They really should do something about the mortality rate; Hull's deppO is nothing like this, but the queues are shorter in London.

Anyway, an argument ensued about his reluctance to admit to knowing my beloved Ms Penelope Rutlidge and I was asked to leave. I will not give up. This is a quest driven by yearning.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: dodgy bird
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 08:16 PM

so pray tell did oaklet have his thighs on show and was watson causing a stir in his kermit ensemble

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 07:49 PM

And what a splendid night it was too. Lots of Guinless (not for me, I was driving, although I confess to having one) lots of people enjoying themselves and this rather good band pumping out the music. It was hot - my gawd I even had a couple of dances! Frightening stuff

Oh and not a tweed skirt or cardy in sight!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 10:42 AM

Has anyone seen me Ferkin? Blast! Where's 'e got to? Bloody 'ell!

- LH

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: specky
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 10:20 AM

u in a dress again deany boy???????????????/

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 10:08 AM

Oh man...Cardigan and tweed skirt????? Think I'll give Twillingsgate a miss, chaps. (that being the cross-gender, asexual, non-sexist sort of chaps, just in case Brid Widder is lurking about, waiting to give me another bollocking....)

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 06:28 AM

steady boy steady...........

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:53 AM

I can almost smell her stern cardigan and tweed skirt.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:43 AM

Gordon, it appears that Brother Oakley may not be gracing us with his presence. This leave Smallpiper, Nik Nak, possibly Sue, you, and myself. Let me know asap please. Or speak John. Cheers mate.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Bassic
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:34 AM

S`possible, will ring you when I have checked a few things.

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:31 AM

Hey, Bassic, u up for Lund expedition tomorrow?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Bassic
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:27 AM

Ooooch!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: Bassic
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:25 AM

No no no oh master of the swoopy fiddle, Its quite simple really. Just go to platform 13 and a 1/2. Aim your purple helmit at the brick wall, and run like hell!!!!! You will be in Twillinsgate and in the arms of the one you love in the blink of an eye! Bon voyage..

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:12 AM

Nah Oakers you got it wrong mate try the boattrain to Dublin then the bus to victoria and ask at the news stand they'll direct you

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:07 AM

Morning people! Ms. Rutledge been on one again? I suspect brother Oakley myself. Has Andy got his Kermit suit yet I wonder?

Subject: RE: punch the horse at durty nellies ,friday
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Aug 02 - 05:05 AM

You leave her alone, smallpliers. I love her just the way she is. There is problem with transport links from Scunthorpe to Twillinsgate. I have been advised to get the National Express coach to Victoria and ask from there about connections to my spiritual home - Twillingsgate. There was a bit of a to-do in the booking office, but I gave as good as I got. Victoria here I come!