BS: I could use a little help....

Subject: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:25 AM

I hate posting anonymously but I'm following my wife's wishes on this one. My wife and I have been trying to reproduce! Parts of it (as you can imagine) have been fun, other parts have been difficult, like finding out she's NOT pregnant. We've both been tested, the plumbing's fine, my boys are swimmers and the eggs are plentiful.....just bad luck so far. we've been getting help (fertility type help) and a few months ago, we were told my wife was pregnant. Two days later we found out that she was no longer pregnant. They called it a chemical pregnany which basically means she lost the baby already. It's more complicated than that but it is also more common than one might think. Her pregesterone levels were apparently too low. This was the lowest point for us in the whole process and we decided to take the summer "off"....sorta...no doctors, no prescriptions, nothin. Just us, relaxing, trying the old fashioned way. No dice, but we're relaxed now and we went to the doctor again. Yesterday, the results were positive again but the pregesterone levels are a little low. She will be taking injections to keep the levels up and the nurses told her that it is also quite common to need injections to keep levels up to sustain the pregnancy.

We've now been trying for about four years and this is as close as we've been. Please keep us in your thoughts and if you are the praying type, please keep us in your prayers. We are so close.....

I promise I won't stay anonymous forever, as soon as the news is good and we're out of the woods, I'm sure my wife will be more comfortable with spreading the good news...

A Catter.....

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,andi
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:30 AM

consider the prayers already said. andi

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:30 AM

Have they checked for endometriosis -- scar tissue, etc? If its just a matter of boosting progesterone, you oughta be out of the woods in short order!

I wish you great and early success, and enjoy the practice.
They do say getting there is half the fun...

A

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:42 AM

Amos, They have checked, in fact she had laproscopic (sp?) surgery, found minimal endo and gave her a clear slate. It was the first attempt after surgery that she was told the results were positive and then two days later got the bad news. Let's hope you're right about being out of the woods soon......and Thanks!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: MMario
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 11:46 AM

Good luck! One of my sisters tried for seven years before her first pregnancy - had finally "given up" and canceled the maternity clause in her health insurance - was pregnant a month later!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 12:08 PM

We tried everything known to Yale New Haven, including surgical removal of scar tissue. We tracked temperatures and performed on schedule, which was pretty funny, handed out samples and so on. What a circus.

At one point in all this we were on opposite ends of the country for a few weeks, and we were discussing it by phone, and my host in California kept yelling "You've got to get closer!! LOL!

Finally, the lady of the house got completely fed up and threw her morning thermometer against the wall with great force, and we said to each other, "Hey, ya know, we can live perfectly well without children if that's the breaks, let's stop with all this effort; let's get off the "must-have" on it all."

We got pregnant that night, and 18 years later Barky just started her first semester at the San Francisco Conservatory and is tearing up the peapatch.

Believe me, there is hope!!

Regards,

A

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: wysiwyg
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 12:13 PM

I have heard over and over again that it doesn't happen till everyone relaxes or gives up and THEN relaxes. I think the best thing you can do is refuse to think of making love as trying to make a baby. No matter how much you want it, if you let that become your main thought you will not only harm your marriage, you will have awful regrets if the pregnancy never happens AND the marriage has been hurt. If you insist on keeping this a romance instead of anything else, and welcome a baby if one comes, you may be helping your wife more than you could in any other way, AND you may get a baby out of it.

How to stop worrying? Recall what brought the two of you together and settle for nothing less. Win her heart all over again, as the woman she is now, and as the man you are now, and the hormones will probably follow.

What I am saying is that of course you both want this, and you both have hormones and so on making it hard to keep a relaxed attitude about it, but that you are still capable of choosing a viewpoint about it and working to keep that view-- that you CAN recreate your attitude about this and that since her hormones and our society's conditioning are probably making her crave a baby past all reason, YOU may be the one who can turn the tide in this.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Bobert
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 12:20 PM

Now ol' bobert ain't no whiz kid on the plumbing stuff, but I sure know how to pray. Consider it done, GUEST, escept I've never prayed for a GUEST, so I'll just trucst the Lord knows who I'm praying for...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: artbrooks
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 01:04 PM

Well, a couple of friends of mine had much the same experience...tried and failed for several years...then gave up and adopted. This is one of the well-known cures, and it worked as advertised. They now have two kids, about a year apart. As has already been said, if nothing else comes out of it, at least the practice is fun!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 01:29 PM

Actually Susan, the marriage is in good shape BECAUSE of all this. Ya see, the trying to have a baby (at least for the time being) is done artificially. OK, I have to do my part first but hey, if she gets pregnant I will have done it from the next room.....but I don't like to brag!! hahahaha All of the fun has stayed just that, fun.

The main thing is, she IS pregnant now, it's just a matter of keeping the pregesterone levels up. The next week will be key.....Can ya get that prayer chain going for me?

Thanks!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Amos
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 01:33 PM

Yay!! Consider that one prayer-enveloped envelope, buddy!!

A

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Jeanie
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 02:54 PM

Dear Guest Anonocatter and Ms. Anonocatter,

Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, then the Extra-Large T-shirt, then the GIGANTIC T-shirt and eventually the baby! After all the same things you two have been through,and very early miscarriage and a late one, I was given progesterone injections from the first possible moment, which carried on until I was around 5 months pregnant. My daughter, now a fast-growing-up 13 year-old is proof that it worked.

Holding you both in my thoughts and prayers. Contact me through the personal messages whenever you want to get in touch with someone who's been there and knows what it's like.

Take care, With love, - jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: smallpiper
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 07:46 PM

Prayers said and on the way

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Genie
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 08:31 PM

We'll all pray that your biggest problem a year from now will be a little one.

Genie

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: SINSULL
Date: 10 Sep 02 - 09:31 PM

Oh goodie! A new Mudcat baby! I predict June 7th. Anybody up for a pool? Congratulations, GUEST. You are pregnant. Hang in there and enjoy it.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: wysiwyg
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 12:59 AM

Anonocatter, regarding prayer chain-- send me a PM on it.

~S~

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 02:57 AM

It's all very well telling HIM to enjoy it, where are the sisterly condolences here? She's the one doing all the hard work now, and for the rest of her life!!!

Seriously, can identify with you totally, in fact, I stopped at one because I didn't think I would be able to cope with another 3 years of dashed hopes and the nerve wracked waiting for that dreaded 4th/5th week.

Be careful, take it easy and make sure SHE enjoys it. The more relaxed you both are about this, the better it is for everyone.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:17 AM

Liz, To tell you that I think she is enjoying it as well would be too much like bragging and far too macho for my personality, let's just say that I try not to be selfish in that reguard!

Thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers. A day like today makes our problem pale in comparison to some folks who lost their lives a year ago, but we still pray.....for them, for ourselves and for the baby we are waiting for.....

Thanks....

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Hollowfox
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:43 AM

Prayers and hopes for you now, and a gen-yoo-wine @#$%%^-reduction candle will be lit tonight after I get home from work.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,ASLIII
Date: 11 Sep 02 - 09:54 AM

Stay relaxed- it will happen. Don't mind praying at all- will put in a few words for you and your wife today.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 04:44 AM

Try EVERYTHING - Corn dollies (pagan fertility - though some of the pagans here will probably shoot me down ;-) ) Morris Dancing (even more tentative), Lying with your heads to the north (Magnetic pull helps the little fellows along!) and all the other stuff you can think of!

Something will work eventualy and you will have even more fun trying:-)

Cheers

Dave the (5 sprogs later) Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: lady penelope
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 04:59 AM

'ere Dave, why would us pagans object to a corn dolly?

Hang in there Annonocatter and Wife, I'll light a candle for you and think positive thoughts. Well done!

TTFN M'Lady P.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Guessed
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM

I don't have children myself by choice - a legacy my formative years
I read somewhere or a science prog on the radio that human fertility runs (on average across the populous) at about 50% but some is luckier than others I guess- best of luck.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 09:19 AM

Dunno m'lady. Us Gnomes have problems figuring out why humans do anything...;-)

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: SharonA
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 10:17 AM

My brother and sister-in-law adopted, after several years of unsuccessful attempts at pregnancy. For them, the adoption resulted in having another child... not by natural means but via a second adoption! The two adopted sisters look nothing alike (they're like Mutt and Jeff!), but the four of them are a family nonetheless. BTW, the younger daughter graduated high school this year and the older daughter just got married last weekend, so they've both "done good" thanks in no small part to their adoptive parents.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 11:57 AM

Today's news.....is good!

Pregnancy hormones went from 26 to 62. Not exactly what the numbers mean specifically but I know they're good! The pregesterone levels went from 7.7 to 23.6 and that's the big one!!!

So..........so far, so good.....the power of good thoughts is amazing! Thanks for them all!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Amos
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 12:08 PM

Wow!! I love those numbers!! What a wonderful notion that all that concentrated intention shifted them!!

Gotta love those 'Catters, huh?

Congratulations!


A

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: SINSULL
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 05:55 PM

I told you so! June 7th. Take care of each other meantime.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Maxine
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:12 PM

I have everything crossed....including my eyes!

Hey, a christmas without alcohol!!!! Still, a small price to pay. All my prayers are with you (all three of you) xxxxxxxxxx

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: katlaughing
Date: 12 Sep 02 - 06:15 PM

More elevating thoughts and thanks givings coming your way. Great to hear the good news!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Jeanie
Date: 13 Sep 02 - 04:25 AM

That's great news ! May the levels keep on "progestering" ! Keeping sending positive thoughts your way,

With Love, - jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 14 Sep 02 - 01:59 AM

"Hey, a christmas without alcohol!!!!" - maybe alcohol was the problem. Alcohol may encourage the desire but it decreases the ability. Tell any couple that they cannot concieve unless they give up alcohol, and you can almost guarantee, the bloke will say, 'what me as well?'

And to totally threadcreep, why should Christmas be geared around alcohol anyway? Why not any other day or festival? Hey, it's Divali, let's go get the beers in!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 15 Sep 02 - 10:02 PM

Hi folks, Haven't been back here for a few days but , the levels have not continued to climb as hoped. Looks like another chemical pregnancy. we're down but we're not beaten....next month, we try again......

I thank you for all of the kind thoughts and prayers....

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 16 Sep 02 - 02:48 AM

I truly feel for you both. Take care of each other, but don't kill with kindness... sometimes you both need to be away from each other. I never told my partner how many times we nearly made it... it was a private thing for me to deal with.

The main thing is to keep having fun whilst trying. Don't 'do it to order' because that's going to have an effect on both of you. Keep it light, keep it spontaneous and keep it loving.

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Jeanie
Date: 17 Sep 02 - 03:16 AM

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending you both a big virtual reality hug, With Love,

- jeanie

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: GUEST,Anonocatter
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:04 PM

Wow, it seems like such a LONG time ago since I originally posted this thread, September 10th to be exact! But there is news.... We've moved on to try again and we got the good news on May 16th. The wife is pregnant, the numbers have gone through the roof and three ultrasounds later we can see not one but two VERY healthy heartbeats!!!!!!!!!!!!! OK, we're not telling people until we get through the first tri-mester but since I'm still anonymous, I didn't really tell you did I? hahahaha!!!!   Thanks you all again for all your thoughts and prayers....they really help! If my math is correct, we should be done the first tri-mester in mid July....so stay tuned!!! I'll be a braggin Papa by then!!!!!

A happy Catter!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: katlaughing
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:12 PM

WOW! That is wonderful to hear, thanks for letting us know and a *pre-thanks* for posting mid-July!:-)

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Don Firth
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:25 PM

Pictures! Gotta take pictures! (Well . . . when the time comes)

Don Firth

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Walking Eagle
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:26 PM

Unelanvhi udadolisdi, Anono!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: MMario
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:27 PM

Can't wait to hear the "official" announcement.

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Alba
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 02:57 PM

Best Wishes to the 3 of you.
How lovely it will be for this little person to find out how much She/He was wanted and looked forward to by Mama and Papa!!
Looking forward to the braggin though...LOL
A:>)

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Morticia
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 03:10 PM

Oh goodie, another Mudbaby....keeping everything crossed and masses of good wishes zooming your way....

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 04:15 PM

See, didn't we tell you so?!

Rest now whilst you can, you won't get chance after this Christmas!!

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Tweed
Date: 10 Jun 03 - 07:47 PM

Just read this thread for the first time and was hopin' that the last part would turn out like it did. Congratulations and best wishes to all 4(?) of you.

Yerz,
Tweed (no BS either;~)

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: LadyJean
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:02 AM

My mother had scar tissue removed so she could conceive. She was 36 at the time. I was born when she was 38, and I'm the oldest. Genetically speaking my younger sister is the pick of the litter.
My mother was hoping I'd be twins, as her father had been one. Please don't do what my great grandparents did, and name the twins Edgar and Edna. (They were going to call granddaddy Edbert, so it could have been worse!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Sorcha
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 01:18 AM

Way cool! It's about time! And, I get to be a Gramma in October sometime,,,,,,,,,

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: JennyO
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 12:12 PM

And I get to be a first-time grandma in less than two weeks!

Jenny (getting very excited)

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: SINSULL
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 05:42 PM

Remember now, Taj Lightnin' has been taken. Congratulations!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: I could use a little help....
From: Tinker
Date: 11 Jun 03 - 08:34 PM

Wonderful news! Great thoughts headed your way....

Tinker