BS: Alcohol (again)

Subject: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,Jeff
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 01:05 PM

I'm sorry if this is boring, but I'm in tears here and I need to talk to someone.

I've pretty much certainly lost my girlfriend (I already lost my job) and there are a pile of bills I can't pay.

For whatever reason, I'm unable to enjoy a few drinks like the rest of you. I have this hideous (and insidious) condition called alcoholism.

I don't know whether it's an illness or not. What I do know, is that it differs from virtually every other medical condition in that it keeps trying to persuade you that it doesn't exist, that you don't have it, and it can convince you of that for a long time.

Alcohol has become my friend, always there to listen, and never to contradict. It's become my best friend, and it's tried to persuade me that it's my only friend.

Well, it's through trying to convince me. It's my worst enemy. I know that now, and I guess that's a start.

Whether or not it will be persuasive enough for me to give it 'another chance' tomorrow, I don't know. I rather suspect it will (call me weak if that makes you feel good).

Anyhow, they all say that admitting something is the first step, so I guess I've at least moved.

So anyway, enough rambling. Keep me in your thoughts if you would, and I never thought I'd say this, be so kind as to pray for me

Jeff (mudcatter using a pseudonym)

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Mudlark
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 01:29 PM

Dear Mudcatter...I'm not the praying sort but I'll sure hold a good thot for you. Both my parents were alcoholics so I was able to see at first hand how ultimately unsatisfying this escape is. True, it numbs when emotions are seemingly unbearable, but the problem is that pretty soon ANY problem is too big to bear, and that unfortunately leads to not feeling anything at all. All life seems too difficult to bear without that pane of glass that alcohol puts up to fend off reality.

I know there is a physical component for some people--I can feel it in myself. But the fact remains that most non-social drinking has to do with pain. My thinking is, if you can't just "give up drinking," start with trying to find other ways to cope with the pain/problem/worry/whatever it is that makes drinking seem such a positive (if short term) alternatve. Exercise, counciling, engrossing hobby, even those (agh) dreaded group therapy sessions where people get together and talk about their problems can be helpful sometimes. The point is to try and find other ways to cope.

Don't give up. Think how often people who smoke (another addiction with a physical component) try to stop before actually succeeding. Good luck.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Bobert
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 01:43 PM

You're gonna need a lot of help to deal with this because there ain't no cure. Just treatment and lots of it. Now that you appear to have taken the first step, you can not and will not suceed without help. Alcoholic Anonymous is a great first step toward recovery. Go to your phone book, *now*, find a local chapter and be at the meeting tonight! Not tomorrow night...

And good luck.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: fat B****rd
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 02:51 PM

I agree with the two guys above. Good luck, Jeff.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: jimmyt
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 03:21 PM

I used to have no sympathy with people who have this problem or also drug addiction, but after dealing with some junk in my own life and ending up in the dreaded "group therapy" for a stint, I am absolutely conviinced that #1 alcohol addiction is a disease #2 it is rarely the problem but simply an effort to "self medicate" to solve the problem. (Which, by the way, is not a good solution) Much the same thing as people who overeat, undereat, overexcersize, or any number of more"acceptable" addictions, they are all trying to do the same things, mostly to stop their pain. Hang in there, guy, and know that everyone who has been there (and damn if that isn't a lot of us) is praying for you! jimmyt

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,Jiggers
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:16 PM

My mother had an alcoholic period prior to being diagnosed with manic depression. Therefore I think I have a ticket to speak ...

I do not think that society really discourages it. In my town, in the evening it is mostly shops selling alocohol and cigarettes which are open - big choice there then ! Alcohol is on sale at nearly every venue for night entertainment e.g. cinema, theatre, live music, bowling and a lot of places seem geared to getting you to drink more. To me, this indicates that it must be important for economic turnover.

I get fairly depressed at times and notice that I drink alcohol to give me some sort of feeling as I live on my own and get bored. I am not against alcohol as a partial therapy. I find I enjoy drinking more when I feel that I have earned the drink e.g. I have done some exercise, so that there is bit of balance. I can get very bored with alcohol too and long for other ways to fill my time.I hear on the tv that it is better to drink a little each night than to binge drink. I have become bored with going out and prefer to stay in and drink on my own - cheaper, nicer beer and no offensive company - I can drink at my own rate that way.

My sister has become openly concerned about her alcohol habit recently so she went along to an AA meeting and reported that it was helpful.

If you have reached the point where it sounds like there is no return then seek help at once. It appears that you have actually lost control of your life and things are getting worse by the day. Your self esteem is probably low and you'll have to work on finding ways of bringing it back up - you may have to find a positive way to look at yourself despite any shame or helplessness you feel. Maybe your job, and way of life have not been sufficient to support your personality. Look for new ways of getting support - it may mean being brave. Don't be cruel to yourself, if life isn't going your way it may not actually be your fault. IMHO our society does not appear to be based on giving individual hapiness, it is more concerned with economic turnover - at any cost.

I hope this helps

Jiggers

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: SharonA
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:33 PM

Jeff: Whaddaya mean, "the rest" of us?!? *G* I'm sure you've seen, on more than one of the other Mudcat threads that touch on the subject, that many of "the rest" of us have had our own battles with different degrees of alcohol addiction, myself included. For instance, there are some anecdotes, as well as a lot of good advice, on this thread: BS: I am an alchoholic (Note for future searching for that thread: "alcoholic" is misspelled in the thread title)

You're right that you've moved ahead a bit by admitting that alcohol is not your friend. Actually, it's not a friend or an enemy. It's just liquid with chemicals in it. What you do with that liquid – and without it – makes you your own best friend or your own worst enemy. You seem to have found that drinking alcohol has made you your own worst enemy (losing the job, piling up the bills, distancing the girlfriend).

You say that you feel you might be persuaded to give alcohol "another chance" tomorrow so, when tomorrow comes, don't give yourself another chance to drink. Don't be persuaded to drink... which is to say, don't persuade yourself to drink. Alcohol can't persuade you; it can't talk. The craving in your body might make you want to think that you need a drink, but the craving itself is just a chemical reaction to a chemical. You are the one with the free will and the ability to make a decision. You've already decided to stop seeing alcohol as a friend. The next thing is to decide to stop using alcohol as a friend... or as an enemy. As I said, it's neither.

Keeping you in thought,
Sharon

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: chip a
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 04:57 PM

I don't know where you are but in North Ga. it's only 4:45 PM. Plenty of time to get to an AA meeting. There's some good advice in this thread and I can't add much. Read what Sharon said again and again. There's lots of us here who have been where you are. It don't matter how alone you feel, buddy, you AIN'T ALONE! Now GO FIND AN AA MEETING.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Amos
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 05:05 PM

As for self-esteem, seems to me you earned a few points in Self-Esteem Heaven by having the balls to grab the bull by the horns and throw him flat on the mat in a public forum. Gutsy move, and well done.

A

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: pattyClink
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 05:13 PM

Hugs, love, and prayers coming at you from all directions. You CAN get a grip on this thing.

Unless you have some other treatment system available: Get out a phone book and find the entry for AA, it might be under Associations, whatever. Call and ask when and where the next few meetings are, tell 'em you think you need help. You need to talk to the ones who have made it through this hellhole in one piece, and that's where they are.

Hugs, love, and prayers!

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: wysiwyg
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 07:29 PM

If you'd like this circulated to the prayer chain, a PM to me will be treated with respect and confidentiality. You have my prayers, though, anyway. And my encouragement-- you CAN get things working for you, honest to God you can. Don't let that stinkin' thinkin' get to working on you and telling you that you can't do this. You CAN. Be good to yourself about it.

~Susan

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Raedwulf
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 08:04 PM

OK, since you asked, you're weak.

No, it doesn't make me feel good, calling you that, but maybe it makes *you* feel bad enough to stop you doing it again. If it does, then it's worth calling you names & I'll do it as long as it's effective.

I don't share your problem. I drink because I like it (I'm mildly drunk now, BTW), not because I can't survive without it. At my peak, I've hit over a hundred units in a week. I guess you know how much drink *that* involves. But I'm still not an addict. I've been largely dry for the last couple of months, (if only because I'm out of work & can't afford it!) & it isn't a problem. Whatever your poison, I've always held the opinion that addiction is at least 50% psychological, not chemical.

I started off by calling you weak, so now I'll tell you how strong you are. As others have said - you're strong enough to admit to having a problem. If you're strong enough to see the problem, you're strong enough to beat it. So many people never get that far. You already have & if you can get that far, there's no reason why you should stop there.

The trick is to find the leverage that works for you, to find the key that unlocks *your* strength.

So I'll risk calling you weak, because maybe that will shame you into fighting your demon. And I'll encourage you to believe in your strength, because that's there too (you're only human, after all!). I'll point out that now you've told the Mudcat board there's a hundred & more invisible friends (no, they may not have replied to this thread, but they're out there just the same) rooting for you, never mind your 'visible' ones. And you won't let any of us down because you don't know how to, do you?

So long as you're still fighting, you're alive. So long as you're still posting, you're alive. So post, fight, live, *WIN*. And let us know how well you're doing.

Luck

Raedwulf

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Gypsy
Date: 23 Sep 02 - 11:38 PM

AA. My mother is in recovery for the last 5 years because of it. And she started at 65. I have been dry for 10 years........Alcoholism IS a disease.......a good friend of mine likens it to diabetes. Just because you have been dry for a period of time don't mean you can have a drink, ever. Any more than a diabetic can manage the disease for 10 years, then eat an entire chocolate cake. Some things are just a lifelong challenge. My prayers are with you

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: mack/misophist
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 09:49 AM

Over the years, I've had a dozen or so friends decide they were alcoholics. Some were, some weren't. Some claim to be alcoholics because they'd rather admit to that than to being screw ups. The point is, however, that some of them eventually got control of their lives again. The ones who did were the ones who WORKED at it. Sitting around, asking for sympathy will get you nowhere. The only person in the world who can refuse that drink is you.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 11:50 AM

Hi Guest, there was a thread a while ago with some good avice in it, it was called BS iam an alcoholic, I think the best thing to do is contact your GP or whayever they are called where you live, family doctor? I know if you live in America you have to pay and you are skint, but I dont know where you are anyway.The best thing to do about your bills is contact the companys and tell them you are skint and offer to pay them a bit at a time, if you just ignore them they will take you to court and you end up paying more money.try to keep busy and visit your friends that dont drink, if they are proper freinds they will give you good supprt.good luck.john

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Jack the Sailor
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:34 PM

You have taken the crucial first step. I've seen friends and family deal with this demon before. Most of them have been successful. Get medical help, The doctor can refer you to the proper treatment. Do it soon.

Good luck and God bless you.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,Mudjack
Date: 24 Sep 02 - 12:55 PM

Yes it is a desease and treatment is esential. Sounds like you are doing your first treatment for yourself by recognizing the fact. Abstain from drinking any alcohol and put your efforts to finding new job, and lady frined. Trusting that the music community is a part of your life, pursue music. And.... of course prayer from your communty of friends can do nothing but help. My prayers go out to you and do wish you success.
Hang in there partner,
Mudjack

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,momnopp
Date: 26 Sep 02 - 08:16 PM

We are social beings, we humans, and it is by supporting each other that we become stronger.

Keep reaching out, keep asking for help, keep knowing it's worth it and that YOU'RE worth the fight.

Peace,

JudyO

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 26 Sep 02 - 10:28 PM

Ditch the booze and replace it with weed.
It'll take the edge off of the booze withdrawl; allow you to function; ensure that you eat regularly; and it won't kill you or destroy your life. Might just slow it down a little.

Mellow is good.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,.gargoyle
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 01:54 AM

You are pathetic!

Why foist your miserable condition on strangers?

Drink a fifth, take a handful of pills, lie and die; remove yourself, your ex, your family and us from your frustration and pain. Why let the misery drag on and on and on. Get it over with quick!

You'd be surprised how quickly you'll be forgotten.

Sincerely,
Gargoyle

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: okthen
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:28 AM

Whatis it (specifically)that you get out of drinking?

for me it was to get to sleep,and be happy while I did so,Took ages to discover alcohol caused the depression I was drinking to get out of.I still don't know why my natural sleep pattern is 4 a.m. to 10 a.m.but I've got my own solution to that now. If you can find the problem that drinking solves and then solve it without drinking it may be an answer.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:10 AM

The "Lost Weekend" when he wakes up....he will come looking for suckers to again feed his "PITY POT" line.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 01:49 AM

I like this idea GUEST, Ditch the booze and replace it with weed.

How much premium pot (deep hits) something like the reknown "White Widow" from Amsterdam...would it take to replace say.....three liters of UK brew....aka American two six packs?

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: Shankhillboy
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 02:24 AM

Hi Jeff I too have this disease and that's what it is ,it is not a disgrace ,I cannot take one drink and get away with it.I have a physical allergy and a mental obsession to alcohol but I did not know that when I was 'practising' every time I put my hand in the fire ,I got burned.I have not been burned for some days now and I feel a lotbetter in every way .If you want to know how I did 'it ' get in touch ,and do'nt take that first one, that's the one that does the damage ,not the last . God bless you. Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 12:35 PM

Interesting thread

one thing you can be certain of Jeff you'll get plenty of opinions here! Most of them I have heard before about my addiction ( not alcohol but equally fatal if not controlled) I have tried all the anon groups and therapy etc. I have succeeded for times and been addiction 'free' only to return. Yes Gargoyle I am pathetic too! Life is a long road sometimes we take a wrong turning. Sometimes we keep taking wrong turns. But you have to take the first step and the journey is easier with friends I think you might have found a few here even if you are seperated by thousands of miles.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 12:41 PM

Gargoyle

as someone whose been at the bottom of the pit your advice would have served only to ensure I did exactly what you suggested!

I hope you would be able to live with yourself should the worst happen

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 12:50 PM

Interesting thread

one thing you can be certain of Jeff you'll get plenty of opinions here! Most of them I have heard before about my addiction ( not alcohol but equally fatal if not controlled) I have tried all the anon groups and therapy etc. I have succeeded for times and been addiction 'free' only to return. Yes Gargoyle I am pathetic too! Life is a long road sometimes we take a wrong turning. Sometimes we keep taking wrong turns. But you have to take the first step and the journey is easier with friends I think you might have found a few here even if you are seperated by thousands of miles.

Subject: RE: BS: Alcohol (again)
From: GUEST,Fat B****rd
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 03:39 PM

Gargoyle, you are a sad(istic) pillock.