Punch the Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999

Subject: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 10:27 AM

Helloooooo peepol. Time for more drivel, methinks. Oaklet, the Ice Breaker sounds like a splendid venue for melodian players. Want any help with the scuppering??

The equine pugilists will be making a rare appearance at that fine vendor of bear9HOI! Durty Nellies tomorrow night. There is a minibus full of drunken hooligans coming thru from Beaverly, so should be a splendid evening. I am, in fact, cadging a lift myself, and intend to partake of a few of said bEaR's.

I also have every intention of setting the new string breaking record, the beAr consumption during a gig record, the stage diving distance record, and the number of attractive people's phone number collection in a single night award. jOhn9, you gonna give me some competition? I feel that the practice of innappropriate offbeat hupping and arythmic dancing may also put in an appearance, due to the attendance of that dastardly smallpiper and the ever-lovely Nik-Nak.

Be there or be a Stoolwiper, folks.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 10:45 AM

In which part of this beautiful kingdom, this spectred Isle is the aforemention Ale House, Hull I presume, but how does one find the hostelry, coming as one might be, from the M62

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 10:50 AM

THat should of course read as SCEPTRED

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 11:45 AM

Raggytash-Its in the old town, you should drive down the M62 into Hull, until you see a big cherch, then turn left at the crossroads, then you will see a man sat on a gold horse, drive past him and take the next right, durty nellies is right in front of you.john

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Oaklet
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:21 PM

The "Man sat on the gold horse" is a statue of Snr Ignatious Astellara, one of the founding fathers of Hull's Spanish Quarter, which was forced to relocate outside the city walls, 1 mile towards Analby after the anti-spanish purges of 1702/3.

Raggytash, best just stay on the M62 until things get interesting and turn left. Then turn right. And left.

I have decided to wear the suit on Saturday in honour of Ms Penelope Rutledge.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Willa
Date: 27 Sep 02 - 02:46 PM

Hi, Raggytash. on the remote chance that this might be a serious enquiry - go to multimap, type in HU1 1QE and you'll be able to print out directions. Btw, since it's in the Old Town, where tourists are taken on 'Ghost walks', Spectred Isle is probably appropriate.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 08:56 AM

Thank God!! I was beginning to get Punch the Herse thread withdrall syndrome9.

Not actually sure if either myself or the luvaly Nik Nak will make it tonight due to a) Nick Nak being full of illness and b) me being dead.

I will see if I can reincarnate in time to help the Icebreaker dock and drinksum 9bEarHoi, whilst arthritically dancing and asthmatically hupping. Not necessarily in that order.

what time is kick off?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Oaklet
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 09:10 AM

It starts at 99.00pm9, Stylepooper.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 09:36 AM

Thanks acorn me owld mucca

Tell me who is looking after the cattle whilst you are on your luxurious icebreaking cruise?

Also I've heard that there is a dangerous underwater fiddle team on the loose - have you heard anything of them?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 09:41 AM

I have another question for you Acorn.. When does your book come out? I heard you were writing a book entitled; "Zen and the art of herse punching" (subtitled " a rough guide to Twillingsgate, life, love, icebreaking and small dairy farmers"

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Miss Q
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 11:20 AM

Be advised that Winston has managed to extricate himself from a very embarrassing situation by making a generous financial contribution to a certain sheep farm and a certain machinist's shop, accompanied by a thorough apology that must have caused him to clench his jaw muscles like an infuriated bull terrier to keep from biting his tongue. Oh, my! Humiliated before the lower classes! He has been in a VERY dark mood indeed, but is keeping himself under tight rein, and acting as if all is well and things are quite back to normal.

Well, there are observant souls around here who know differently! The fact is, Winston is biding his time and nursing a vendetta which he takes great pains to conceal...namely the utter destruction of a certain "Oakley", who would be well advised to tread lightly around the environs of Twillingsgate, methinks! There is nothing more dangerous than a patrician in a cold and calculating fury, waiting quietly for his prey to show itself. I am reminded of Lord John Roxton, in Conan Doyle's "The Lost World"....cultured, but deadly.

Our dear Penelope had some sharp words with Winston, reminding him of his moral obligations toward injured and innocent parties, regardless of their social stature, and has since refused to give him the time of day.

One wonders what is really on her mind, but she is playing the cards very close to her chest, as the saying goes...

The calm before the storm? Only time will tell.

Miss Q

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 11:27 AM

Ah Miss Q a delight to have you return to our humble forum, keep us posted. Yours The Rev Dr Smallpiper

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 11:59 AM

hEloo, i like to go but i have to go to werk,, i ca'nt get Satterdays off because it is to bisy.john

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 28 Sep 02 - 08:02 PM

A damm good night was had by all. Acorn was resplendant in his one and only suit complete with a very sick yellow tie. Lots of catters were there, we may even have enough photos to make next years callendar the one taken up Dodgy birds skirt (taken by her husband) should be enough to set the Twillingsgate gazette alight but then we come to the birthday girl flashing all to the camera!!!! Raunchy night or what! And what Deanie and Nik Nak were up to is anybodys guess - it did involve feeding each other guiness......... Oh what a night............................

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Raggytash
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 04:42 AM

So that was P the H in all their glory, Thanks lads enjoyed the night

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: rambling rose
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 06:32 AM

That was a fine night!!! Pity you didnt get to play your guitar Nick. Eddie had a wonderful night - what a way to spend your 60th birthday.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 09:38 AM

the birthday girl did WHAT? oops must have missed that....anyway smallpiper i saw u had a very different slant on taking photos????????????? hhm music was excellent as per usual a very good night indeed............the coolest singer did sound in fine fettle ...........that tie hhmmmmm oakley sweetie u do need a fashion dressers help was a bit dull i thought needed something a bit brighter really :-)

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 09:40 AM

hmmmmmmmmmm where my name gone i am a guest again? last time i looked i was specky...obviously mislaid myself? .....need new specks .........sob specky has gone

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 10:45 AM

Hey birthday girl started it! can't wait to see the result!

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 11:02 AM

hmmm think these photos will need editing before anyone sees them....will have to go to twillingsgate to get them developed so nobody will recognise whos who.....hmmmm forgot though oakley on some of them boy oh boy what will the lady from twillingsgate think hehehe wonder what time first train to twillingsgate is bet oakley knows

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Little Hawk
Date: 29 Sep 02 - 01:48 PM

If you're bored, I suggest walking around in Twillingsgate, wearing a sign that says "I am Oakley". This advice only applies to males, however. Females who are bored should simply go along and spectate.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Oakley
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 04:17 AM

Not much of a spectator sport, Little Hawk, watching Mrs Wellington Jones applying Savlon to her bruised, tearful fop of a son. It should be over in about 30 seconds - including the undignified chase from the Vicar Inn.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Raggytash
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 10:34 AM

Would someone be kind enough to explain to this bear of very little brain why so many messages have 9 liberally strewn through them or have deliberate mis-spelt words e.g bear for beer ..................what9 if anything 9am I mi99ing

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Little Hawk
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 12:44 PM

Welle, it iz a Punch the Hearse thred isnt' it? Their haz too bee sum plaice whair peeple can misspel and not feel sefl-conshus abowt it, dont yuo think? Or perhaps it is the affluence of incohol that iz rsesponsible for it. Whut do you thimk? I think that is a strawng possibilitlity.

- LH

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: GUEST,Alfie
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 01:12 PM

Oakley - My, you do love tempting fate, don't you? Or is it just a case of taunting the esteemed WW-J and driving him to further rash acts, such as assaulting the plumber or the postman? It worked once, but I doubt that it will work again. Still, you never can tell. I find WW-J's absolute silence on this forum rather ominous. I'm sure he can afford another keyboard after all...

A word of caution...he may decide to go looking for you, if he dares leave Twillingsgate and Ms Penelope R unguarded in the nonce. Enough clues have been dropped about the Punch the Horse events and their location that a good detective could follow them up and track you to your noisome musical haunts, there to reduce you to a battered heap of bat dung. I'm sure that Durty Nellie's has seen worse things happen before....

Alfie *

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Oaklet
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 02:27 PM

I, on the other hand Alfie, find the foppish beau's silence on this forum merely indicative of his preference to cajole another of his hapless and misguided cohorts to speak feebly upon his behalf.

If he always speaks his mind, then that would certainly explain the silence from his puckered, slightly feminine lips.

If he chooses to mince through the delightful village of South Ferriby, pausing to enquire of my whereabouts at the Hope and Anchor - whilst forfifying himself with a warmed mineral water - I would be delighted to take a brief break from my stripped-to-the-waist, leather-clad hard farm labour and punch his lights right out.

Perhaps you would pass this on to the poor deluded man, adding that I will be in Twillingsgate before he regains consciousness. And in up to the maker's nameplate before he is even aware that he taken a sound thrashing.

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:05 PM

Thou of the untidy upper lip:

the liberally strewn 9s, bears and bannananas are a tribute to our hero jOhn's recalcitrant keyboard, a newly evolved lifeform with its own regular rules of spelling and grammar.

btw, Raggytash, have you met jOhn?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: dodgy bird
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:09 PM

smallpiper i note that you convienently forgot to mention the foot fetish and dare i say the examining of underwear which i do believe chris won outright not only for his cunning use of photographic equipment but for his outstanding impression of a penguin

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:13 PM

Soreen-Whats a recaicitrant key bored?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: smallpiper
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:30 PM

Hey Dodgy what you bin drinkin'?
I do not have a foot fetish apart from landing on yours of course and whats this about underwear? My impression was that you and I repeat YOU were the one doing the underwear inspecting!!!!!
Penguin what penguin

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:51 PM

jOhn, you have your hands above it now (assuming that the interesting spellings aren't due to you typing with your metatarsals or some other part of your anatomy...)

And if it's all the same to you my dear, I'd rather be a Sireen atop my supermarket trolley luring sailors neath the magnificent span of the Humber Bridge, than a stodgy malt loaf... but it's your choice...

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 08:55 PM

Ok, Siren, I am trying to figure out this new chatroom thing but i am really puxxled, who wants to char, if so go there and open a chat room for local people , you could call it local chat or sumething.john

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Noreen
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 09:20 PM

I'm there, jOhn, where RU?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull
Date: 30 Sep 02 - 09:47 PM

i cant get it to werk, i wrote hello about a dozen times but nothing happened, so i gave up.john

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 01 Oct 02 - 12:36 PM

Well, you post a single thread, go play a spot of music, and look what happens......! I had great fun on Saturday, guys. Thanks for being there. John.....not gonna tell you what me 'n Nik Nak were up to..... hehehe so there! And birthday girl woz lookin pretty edible too...... Hey ho.

And this Twillingsgate thing is keeping me well amused. But where is Skipjack?

Subject: RE: Punch9 the 9Horse at Durty Nellies Pt999
From: The DeanMeister
Date: 02 Oct 02 - 04:24 AM

See new thread First Sunday at Sun Inn, 9Beverley)