Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)

Subject: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: JenEllen
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 02:36 AM

Merry Christmas Challenge!rs. More from the files of the weird and wacky, this is from the Christmas Eve edition of the Yakima paper.

MAN KILLED AFTER ATTACKING OFFICER:
Ellensburg, Washington

A Kittitas County sherrif's deputy shot and killed a man who raced toward him waving a hammer after an accident on I-82 Monday afternoon.

The incident began with a minor, non-injury accident between a Datsun car and a Chevrolet van about 12 miles south of Ellensburg. When the trooper approached the car, the driver refused to get out or otherwise respond, but he displayed a knife.

The trooper then tried to forcibly remove the man, but was struck in the face with a blast of pepper spray from the driver. After a brief struggle, the man and the officer began fighting in the median.

A deputy responding to the trooper's request for assistance began chasing the man on foot. The man pulled out a clawhammer and began chasing the deputy. The deputy tried to retreat and fired his pepper spray canister at the man to no effect. When the man ran toward him at full speed, waving the hammer, the deputy opened fire.

As the man continued to attack with the hammer, the deputy fired additional rounds. The man was struck several times and died at the scene.

Westbound traffic on I-82 slowed to a crawl as investigators looked for clues. Medics that responded to the call noted that the victim was dead at the scene, and also that the dead man was dressed as a woman, and had breast implants. They did not find any identification at the scene.

**************************************
The Song Challenge! winner around our fireplace tonight was a lovely little ditty called "I Got my Gal Some Boobs for Christmas (I'll read the directions next time fer shure)"

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Nigel Parsons
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 04:00 AM

As the car being driven was a Datsun, and was driven by a person of indeterminate gender, are we allowed comments about "losing ones Cherry" ?

Nigel

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: GUEST,Elle's Seeeeeester
Date: 25 Dec 02 - 02:27 PM

Well, he was identified!

Tim Mayhugh, whose last known address was in Portland, died after being struck five times by shots fired by a Kittitas County sheriff's deputy. Authorities described Mayhugh as a pre-operative transsexual dressed in women's clothing and having shoulder-length hair. In 1980, he had asked to be called "Sarah".

It is a sad day for Sarahs everywhere.
Another Sarah

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 02 - 11:48 AM

Awww, Sarah!! So sorry to hear about your name being abused. But then, in a larger sense, aren't we all pre-operative transsexuals?? LOL!!

Anyway, your claim is prior to his, so no worries.

Jen, I am speechless!! This is a very, um, complex issue and will take some thought!! LOL

Mary Ex-miss to both of you wild and wacko sisters,


A

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amergin
Date: 26 Dec 02 - 12:22 PM

"But then, in a larger sense, aren't we all pre-operative transsexuals??"

uh, Amos....is there something you'd like to share with the rest of us?

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 02 - 01:29 PM

Nathan, as long as I am firmly pre-operative, I got nothing to hide but hide itself! LOL!


A

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: *daylia*
Date: 26 Dec 02 - 03:16 PM

Aren't a lot of the most talented musicians/artists a little "cross-gendered"? Freddie Mercury and Elton John come to mind! There's evidence that Leonardo da Vinci was as well.

I had a friend who's into cross-dressing - a very talented artist too. It was amazing to me how many men reacted to him with real hate and threats of violence. And how many women were upset (jealous, I think) by how WELL he could pull it off! He was really quite 'beautiful' and until he started talking it was impossible to tell he was really a man. I always wondered why he bothered - (he wasn't gay, by the way). He'd just get all dolled up and then work at his art/writing for hours on end...

It's strange to me that it's socially acceptable for a women to dress like a man but not vice-versa. This is one area where women really do have the best of both worlds!

Sorry if this is 'thread-drift'.

Here's to the 'feminine' in all of us!

daylia

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 26 Dec 02 - 07:24 PM

When Sara Was Boy Blue

(Tune: When Jones' Ale Was New)

There were three jovial fellows
Came over the hill together.
Came over the hill together
To make up a jovial crew.
And they ordered their shots of estrogen
And ordered the same yet once again
To help them to be more like Mary,
To help them to be more like Mary,
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys,
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

And the first of them was a tinker,
And ashamed of his wee small plinker.
He was a jolly beer drinker
Among this jovial crew.
And he called for a pint of the very best ale
And swore he would learn how to give out his tail.
To give it out right merrily,
He swore he'd never fail
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

And they ordered those rare injections
To help them lose their ereck-aye-shuns,
To help them lose their ereck-aye-shuns,
And become a passive crew!
They hardened their spirits and softened their chests
They swore of all women they would be best
They vowed of all women to soon be the best!
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

And the next to come in was a soldier
With his business slung over his shoulder,
He said 'twas too skinny,
So he wanted an "inny",
Though it was   handsome, too.
He swore he'd spend a thousand pound,
Yo make his topside soft and round.
Then he jolly well drank their healths all 'round
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.


And the next to come in was a dyer
Who felt all consumed by a fire,
'A most female desire
To serve the jovial crew.
And the landlady told him straight to his face
He could get the parts but never the grace,
And he'd have to learn to use his face!
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

And the next to come in was a mason.
Whose drives needed replacin''.
'Twas lads he felt like chasin'
Among the jovial crew.
So he threw his old hammer against the wall,
And swore he was tired of carrying ballsl,
And they vowed they'd turn into lasses all!
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

Now the mason'd been driven quite barmy
From sodomy back in the Army
And he'd gotten silicon aloft
Which made him feel quite blue
So he threw his hammer at the cops
(Took five good rounds to make him stop!)
And they buried back of the Candy Shop.
When Sarah was Boy Blue, me boys
When Sarah was Boy Blue.

So now these gents have made the leap
And all have shapes they mean to keep
And private places warm and deep
They make the gentry whirl!
They giggle and chatter and bat their eyes
And none of the young men ever gets wise,
To the men behind those gentle lies!
Now Sarah is a girl, me boys!
Now Sarah is a girl!!

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 12:36 AM

Well, I admit it was hastily done, but surely it wasn't a thread-killer!! Was it?


A

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: *daylia*
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 08:39 AM

Well, there's something about a guy in a skirt that leaves people kinda speechless. Unless he's playing bagpipes or reading Homer's 'Iliad' in the original Greek or something. Men are quite sensitive about what gives them a 'tilt in the kilt'!!! :-) !!!

Hee hee hee - sorry about that ...

I enjoyed the lyrics though - thanks Amos! My son played me one by Weird Al Yankovich the other day called "Walkin Round in Women's Underwear" in memory of my old friend. I was in stitches laughing - it IS funny! - but I was feeling a little guilty about it too. When you've known someone who's into that kind of thing - and thus the target of hate and intolerance - it gives you a different perspective on it I guess. A reason to be kind, not to judge. I'm not even interested in figuring out the "why's" anymore...

Although these lines DID ring true -

"They hardened their spirits and softened their chests
They swore of all women they would be the best
They vowed of all women to soon be the best".

Oh yes, and "He could get the parts but never the grace". I remember telling my buddy that once, when I was p****d at him!

daylia

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 02:50 PM

Thanks, Daylia! The one transgenderite I knew was once a burly ship's officer with big biceps and a handlebar moustache and five o'clock shadow that wouldn't quit, named Al. Good guy, but clearly harboring some hurt or something. Married agal with a face like a horse, had two kids, and then they parteed. Next thing I know he's no longer Al, but Alice, and he's on the morning talkshow circuit with an AOL account and a book both named "Gender Outlaw" about his adventures in transgender country and, if I remember correctly, the lesbian he ran away with after the operation. Now, I am confused about all this, and find it hard to keep it all straight, so forgive me if I do not have my facts exactly straight. As I mentioned above, I am so firmly pre-operative as to be off the plan completely!

There once was a fairy named Broome
Took a lesbian up to his room.
And they argued all night
About who had the right
To do what
And with which
And to whom!


:>)

A

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: *daylia*
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 05:12 PM

Thanks, Amos! My son and I both enjoyed the limerick! :-)

I guess I'll post this, seeing as I feel up to a Holiday Song Challenge!

                     WALKIN ROUND IN WOMEN'S UNDERWEAR
                        (Sung to the tune of "Winter Wonderland")

"Lacy things - the wife is missing
Didn't ask her permission
I'm wearin her clothes - her silk pantyhose
Walkin round in women's underwear

In the store - there's a teddy
With little straps - like spaghetti
It holds me so tight - like handcuffs at night
Walkin round in women's underwear

In the office there's a guy named Melvin
He pretends that I am Murphy Brown
He'll say 'are you ready' - I'll say WHOA MAN
Let's wait until the wife is out of town!

Later on - if you wanna
We can dress - like Madonna
Put on some eye-shade - and join the parade
Walkin round in women's underwear

Lacy things - wife is missin
Didn't ask - her permission
Wearin her clothes - silk pantyhose
Walkin round in women's underwear
Walkin round in women's underwear
Walkin round in women's underwear"

   - Weird Al Yankovich -

Subject: RE: Holiday Song Challenge! (from up north)
From: Amos
Date: 27 Dec 02 - 07:35 PM

I love trhat piece, Daylia!! I have a buddy who won't sing anything else, Xmas or no Xmas! It would make me suspicious but he is so hamhanded about it!! LOL!


A