BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!

Subject: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:04 PM

Woke up this morning feeling like a bus had run over me! Well, a couple of bottles of chardonnay and few drams of the old scottish wine tends to do that...

But this was really bad. My back hurt like hell, as did my left wrist. Feeling more than a little puzzled I gigerly made my way down stairs and mentioned my predicament. "Not surprised" answered Mrs G. "You got out of bed and instantly fell over!"

Ah... thinks I. That would explain the detritus scattered around the bedside table as well.

Oh well. Guess when I finish off the last of the Pinot Noir, Vodka and Grants I should call it a day. Well, at least the Absinthe has already gone;-)

Cheers one and all

Dave the Gnome

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Nemesis
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:07 PM

Ah, but Dave .. where did the worm go?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Cluin
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:10 PM

Another U.P.I.
(Unidentified Party Injury)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:18 PM

Happy New Year to you too, Dtg!

I woke up this morning feeling like a bus had run over me also. The strange bit is that we only drank alcohol-free sparkling grape juice last night. Is it possible to wake up with a hangover that belongs to someone else?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:22 PM

Carol,

A bus had run over me too.

Do try to learn English this year, please.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:27 PM

Sorry GUEST. I'm afraid I'm a lost cause when it comes to proper use of English. I actually spent some time debating with myself over whether to use "too" or "also". Can you please explain to me why "too" is preferable to "also" in this context?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: GUEST
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:32 PM

Absinthe makes the heart grow fonder!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Peter T.
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:43 PM

Simple Carol. Take an ordinary set of sentences such as "Guest is an unmannerly cur. Also, he is a swine." "Also" here means, "in addition". When put at the end of a sentence, however, it is not clear what its antecedent is. Hence the problem. To say, "Guest was run over by a bus also" could mean not that he was run over by a bus as were you, but that Guest was run over by something as well as a bus, i.e. over and above a bus. To whit: "I wish that he were run over by a tram, and also by a bus." Happy New Year Also. yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Amos
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:54 PM

Oh, elegant, Sir T -- it is much clearer now!! Thanks!


A

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 05:57 PM

Thanks Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Liz the Squeak
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 06:03 PM

I suspect you got my hangover Carol, because I feel rather fine, except for a migraine bought on by the cinema, it happens frequently... had 3 dizzy spells during The Two Towers becasue of the amazinf FX.

Unless mine is being delivered on Friday......

LTS

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 06:55 PM

Well, I'm about as depressed as I've been in my life, and I also spent three hours at a party last night, had one drink and developed a migraine from a sinus headache while playing a tune on guitar. Came home and slept for 11 hours. The one good thing was that I managed to play the tune through 3 times AND had someone accompany me on another guitar who wants to learn the tune. And I wrote it. I still wish I could remain unconscious for an indefinite period.

(I think "it can only get better" is what people say right before the bus hits them.)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Bee-dubya-ell
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 06:55 PM

Look, Ma! Over yonder! Thar's a GUEST tryin' ta make hisself look edjukated by pickin' the flyshit outta the pepper jar aginn. Ya reckon he knows the difference between "Who gives a rat's ass?" and "Who gives a shit?"?

Bruce

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 06:56 PM

I broke wind while drinking the Absinthe and the sound was rather like Brrrmmmm, Brrrrmmmmm, Brrrmmmm

Mentioned it to the doctor and he just said "Absinthe makes the fart go Honda..."

Bit better now.

DtG

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Bobert
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 07:32 PM

Well, danged, CarolC, I didn't see nuthin' wrong with yer grammar so don't let ol' GUEST mess with ya. Life's too short to either drink bad wine 'er get bogged down between "too" or "also". Like, me and Bee-dubya-ell don't care so, ahhhhh, turn the radio up!

Sorry, Jeri, but New Years Eve ain't about either attendin' bad parties or tryin' to teach someone to play guitar. Hope yer feelin' better today. Next time, drink more so at least you'll have an excuse fir feeling bad...

And, lastly, I wish that '03 is gonna be better but I ain't bettin' on it, unless ya either own a gun factory or a drug company. The rest of us are in fir a rough ride. Sorry, Kat, but that's just the way I see it...

But, as fir this ol' hillbilly, come Feb. 1st, I'z gonna be kinda semi retired which is good. Going from workin' 6 days a week like I've done forever to 4 days a week. The poor P-Vine!?!....

Well, here's at least hoping that '03 will be better fir my many frineds here in Catsburg...

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: mooman
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 08:18 PM

Well ...snap again CarolC!

I don't drink and (also) woke up with a hangover (too) on New Years Day!

It seems strange forces are at work here....

moo

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Jeri
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 08:37 PM

Bobert, It wasn't a bad party, just small. The person playing with me is a very good player but I suck and, excuse me, but we had fun playing. I probably got the migraine partly because of the drink and I don't think you understood one damned word I said. I don't know what you think New Year's Eve IS about, but I don't think spending it with friends is bad.

If we can't even be kind to one anther on a personal level, why should it be any surprise the world is going to hell? I'm outta this one.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: harpgirl
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 08:48 PM

I'm sorry you got a migraine, Jeri. I sympathize, believe me. I hope the rest of your year is better than the last few hours. Why are you depressed?

(Bobert, YOU get on MY nerves and I'm not depressed or hung-over. Try harder to not be a butt-head, okay? If I'm trying, so can you...)

I think oxygen deprivation brings on some headaches or that hangover feeling, Carol........were you in a closed in place?

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 01 Jan 03 - 10:06 PM

Not terribly closed in hg. I even have an air filter running.

You don't say, mooman! Strange forces indeed!

It's ok, Bobert. Our guest and I probably have different ideas about good manners, but I do appreciate opportunities to learn things that will help me become a better writer.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: fat B****rd
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 04:21 AM

Oi !! leave Carol C. alone......

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: JennyO
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 09:56 AM

Dehydration! Drink lots of water. I find if I alternate drinks with glasses of water I don't get a hangover. Dehydration from any cause, even if you haven't been drinking, can give you a headache.

I have a friend whose New Year can only get better. He and his girlfriend met 2 years ago at Gulgong Folk Festival and on NYE they got engaged. I happened to be sitting at the next table and it was a very romantic moment. I'm so happy for them.

Congratulations Warren (Arch) Bishop and Lisa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 10:11 AM

Well, 2003 has GOT to be better than 2002. Once more I start the year with broken heart and dark depression. Life's a bitch and then she walks out on you.

But, I have made some promises to myself. I hope to move to Europe this year. If I'm not out of here by mid summer I will buy a sailboat and spend as much time as possible on the water.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: catspaw49
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 10:51 AM

New Year......Thank you for arriving. The end of 2002 was the absolute pits and even now as I sit here with a raging sinus infection, headache, cough....the works.....2003 can only be a vast improvement over the ass end of '02!

Peter my friend, do you think you could arrange through your prose to have my fuckin' mother-in-law run over by a bus, tram, train, rampaging elephant, whatever? I don't give a shit how you do it or with what, just do it huh? Anyone into voodoo? How about casting spells or plagues or something? Jesus H. Fuckin' Christ on the proverbial crutch, the woman is the most pretentious bag of shit I have ever known!

Her "present" to us for Christmas was a trip to Naples, Florida.....hereafter known as the trip from hell. I can't begin to describe the numerous disasters she brought on but suffice it to say that if she wants to take Karen places in the future, the trips will not involve either me or our kids. We had a few good times and some fun, but to say it was anything less than a total mistake would be a mistake as well.

Happy New Year to all......except her. Spending time with her is like living with a plague of locusts.

Spaw

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: McGrath of Harlow
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 11:04 AM

"...it can only get better!..."

Touch wood. Saying something like that is what is called giving a hostage to fortune.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Naemanson
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 11:37 AM

Spaw, I can relate. I had very similar in-law problems. The first words my future mother in law spoke to me were, "If you get her pregnant I'll shoot you with my shotgun." Our relationship went downhill from there.

As it turned out I did get her daughter pregnant, twice, and she did not shoot me but we were married at the time and she apparently thought that was sufficient grounds to avoid a murder charge.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Kim C
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 12:45 PM

Well, I am starting out 2003 a lot less depressed than I was in 2002 but only because I spent the last half of the year in counseling! I still have some things to work on but at least now I have the presence of mind to ask myself, Is this something worth getting upset about, or are you getting upset just because you feel like it?

Last week I went to my appointment and didn't have anything to talk about. Today is my last visit. She has been very helpful but I hope I never have to see her again! :-)

Thanks to those of you who were very kind to me last year during my down-times. I am not going to name names because I might leave someone out, but I think you all know who you are.

Personally I am looking forward to the Chinese New Year, because this year is MY year!

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Bobert
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 01:14 PM

Well, danged! Looks like Bobert's funnin' got all twisted up and then turned into an ugly *Bobert bashing*.

Jeri: I'm sorry! My dexlexia kicked in and I *misinterpreted* your post into you trying to teach someone to play guitar. Firgive me, please. The rest of it was just "funnin'".

Harpgirl: Sorry, too. Fir what, I'm not sure. But I apologize fir__________________________________________________________.

CarolC: I'm trying! I even got a new keyboard fir Chrsitmas that has the letters on the keys. As fir the grammer part, if I didn't get it 40 years ago, I may not get it. We all have our priorties but I *do* make an effort. Really!

Anyone else: Pick the from the following:

1. I'm sorry.
2. Forgive me.
3._____________________________________.

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Pseudolus
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 03:53 PM

Ya know Guest getting on CarolC's case reminds me of one of my favorite jokes....A cowboy walked in to a very posh restaurant and asked the maitre'd, "Scuse me mister, but where is yer bathroom at?" To which the very stuffy maitre 'd replied, "Well sir, around here we don't end our sentences with a preposition." The cowboy says, "Well, ok, then scuse me, where is yer bathroom at......asshole?!?!?!"

I have high hopes for the new year. I started with a head cold and a major headache and it was STILL better than the way 2002 ended.....but that's another thread!

Happy new year to everyone, except of course Spaw's mother-in-law! :)


Frank

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Rustic Rebel
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 07:54 PM

Drunk-Oh yeah. I had too much tequilla last night. But I don't think it really was the tequilla but that nasty champagne and those shots of green and purple sour shit that went around. I have a scraped up hand and a rather large bump behind my ear I just found this morning,(a day after the fact). I layed myself down in a snowbank for a little while, road in the back of a pick-up -to get some air- for awhile( that could be where I got the bump). Hang-over shit, I couldn't move for half a day. I had a great time! Happy New Year to all! New Years Resolution- No More green and purple sour shit.
Peace, Rustic

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 02 Jan 03 - 11:56 PM

Hey Bobert! I wasn't criticizing you. I was just letting you know that what the GUEST said about my use of English didn't bother me none, so you wouldn't fret on my behalf.

;-)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Bobert
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 08:25 AM

Well, CarolC, GUEST does seem to write purdy good. I think I read the GUEST, if this is the right GUEST is a college professor and you know how anal some of them folks get. Like my first degree was in History so I had this Doctor, well not the kind you'd want operatin' on ya or nuthin, Rogers. The old man didn't care if you didn't know jack about history as long as your essay answers were three paragraphs. Yeap, you could be writtin' 'bout Donald Duck 'er the song yer bands was workin' on just so long as it was three paragraphs. Go figure. I reckon that GUEST has a little Dr. Roger'in 'em or her.

But I likes my grammer purdy much the way it is. The spellin' and typing? (That'not no sentaence, Bobert...)... Well, thats a different subject and Iz gonna continue with that correspondence course that I got off the match book cover at the truck stop in Fredrick...

That's my story and Iz stickin' to it until I learnt this spellin' and typin'stuff and all...

Hope you had a nice BIRTHDAY. Did J the S write you a purdy song?

Bobert

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Jeri
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 12:12 PM

Bobert, my guess is this is the guest that writes a one line version of a slap occasionally. Doesn't really care about grammar or anything else he complains about. Just wants to slap somebody. Pretty impotent in my opinion. ("Ow. Please don't criticise me again...ow, ow...not the apostrophe's...no...NOOOOO...")

I'd like to take this opportunity to say Bobert is not a butt-head. Not on any sort of permanent basis anyway. We can all fade in and out of butt-head-hood. Some of us misunderstand stuff and some of us, like me, over-react. I think our time as butt-heads, when not caused by misunderstanding, is often caused by pain of some sort. Even Slappy's.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: CarolC
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 12:25 PM

Oooohhhh... Frederick! Going all cosmopolitan on us are you? Will you still know us little folks when you're all eddicated in the ways of the big city?

It was a wonderful birthday! Thanks.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Dave the Gnome
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 03:22 PM

Well, the Grants has gone. So has the Pinot Noir. Just the Vodka to go and that's me on the wagon...:-)

As we used to say in the old days. "Eeeeeh. I'll be glad when I've had enough!"

Cheers

DtG
(Left hand lets me drive again now but still wishing I had an auto)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 05:18 PM

Sorry, CP, after many years devoted to black magic, I broke my wand, and vowed never to go back into that realm where the speaking of words makes the deed happen. It was way too much trouble. White magic is much calmer, and much less interesting, like white bread, probably a lot like Naples, Florida. Nevertheless, by all the powers invested in me by the English language, the Moon Men of Donald Rumsfeld's imaginings, and my ki withdrawn up to the 7th chakra (7th chakra, all out for Linens and Men's Furnishings) according to the method laid down by Mahatma Gandhi as he laid down by a couple of nubile young teenagers, edited and modified slightly to fit on your TV screen, and not forgetting the quasi-basketball Guinivere of the feverish imaginings of the Waylon Heron (whose leather undergarments are certainly now the worse for wear), I, invoking all the hints that Paul McCartney was dead, and the B sides of Arthur Alexander records, hereby (ad altare Dei), and with Alice Maforethought, my postnubile assistant and acolyte (as opposed to my AcoHeavy, about which you don't want to know) in attendance, call down upon your mother-in-law (may even her hyphens have hyphens) imprecations, maledictions, and a dose of those automatic FAX sending thingummies that tie up your answering machine. (more to come)

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Peter T.
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 05:32 PM

Pausing for effect, and turning the candles upside down (a lume spento), extinguishing them on a picture of your mother-in-law's favorite chair, and writing the words, "Avaunt, Sycorax" on a clay model of her second favorite kitchen utensil, which is hereby banished to the back of a drawer where it will be found by a small child and played with to ruination, I continue: May the final pages of her detective novel be magically inserted by accident in the first third of the book; May her car be approximately one centimetre too small for any future parking space; May she be contacted as the winner of $30 million dollars provided she can answer a skill testing question which involves partial differential equations; May her vowels become consonants; May her breath cause a security breach at the next airport she frequents, forcing her to take an unscheduled trip to Guantanamo, while there, may she be befriended by a woman who turns out to be Osama bin Laden in drag, and may the two of them escape in a small boat that is washed up on the shores of Naples, Florida, where their assignation is captured on CNN, with a special banner AMERICA WATCHES BETRAYAL OF AMERICA BY NAPLES, FLORIDA WOMAN, and (winding up for the BIG FINISH!!!!) May she have you for a SON IN LAW!!!!!! (How's that?) yours, Peter T.

Subject: RE: BS: Happy new year - it can only get better!
From: Tinker
Date: 03 Jan 03 - 05:41 PM

Peter, Peter, Peter... I am laughing way to loudly... the dog just came in to check out the problem... Love it